Happiness & Judgment
“People do pretty strange things when they get judged all the time” ~ David Duchovny on Californication
It’s funny the places where inspiration comes from, I was sitting on my couch preparing to write tonight’s piece and I basically decided I didn’t have the energy or the inspiration to, so I put the laptop aside to watch a bit of TV. I was watching Californication when a character on the show uttered the quote above and bang, just like that I had tonight’s piece.
At this point in my life, I’m perceived as someone who is fairly together, it has not always been this way. There was a period of time in my life where I was, well, frankly, seriously screwed up. I was a drunk, and drunk for almost two years as well as being fairly high most days, I sold pot to pay for a lot of what I was doing. In the process, I also failed out of college and pretty much thought I had destroyed my future. Happily I had not, I got my shit together in stages over time and I feel like I’ve done some positive good in my life, I hope this blog is part of that for some of you.
Why the line above had so much relevance for me tonight is that it was very much how I felt growing up. Particularly when I was a teenager I felt like no matter how well I did, be it in school, sports, or anything else, no matter what I did it just wasn’t good enough. NO matter what I was either criticized or ignored, and quite frankly the minute I could get free I cut loose. Of course the way I cut loose was pretty crazy, drugs and alcohol changed nothing and solved nothing for me. Just like all of those afterschool specials told us! 🙂
The real lesson in all of this is that being judgmental is destructive. When we judge people we make them feel bad, we make them dislike themselves, we make them unhappy. When those around us are unhappy it becomes contagious and in the end brings us all down. Judging is a choice we make and as such we can decide to make other choices.
The first choice is to dial it back when we feel ourselves being judgmental, the next is to truly practice this behavior over and over. The less judgmental we are, the more open we become, the happier we will be. Remember to smile as well, just as the negative energy is contagious, so is the positive, so keep smiling and have a happy day my friends.
~ Rev Kane
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