Happiness, Sex & 50 Shades of Grey

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love. ~ Tom Robbins

So the book and soon to be movie 50 Shades of Grey have gotten a lot of press lately. Physical intimacy can be a huge component of happiness and sex can be as well. Recently I did a post on Sex & Happiness where I provided some resources off the web about this subject.

I find all of the noise around 50 Shades of Grey interesting and not surprising. First, no I have not read the book, but have read a synopsis and seen a lot of comments about the book. My take is that the book seems to be much like a Harlequin Romance with light dominance and bondage. Something that is likely quite exciting for some bored folks with solidly vanilla lives, whereas people in the kink community are likely yawning at the “kinky” nature of the book.

Personally I think the noise around the book and the movie are fantastic if it’s inspiring open, honest discussion about sex, particularly between partners in relationships. If this discussion gives someone the courage to disclose a fantasy and if the fulfillment of that fantasy makes both of them happy and their relationship stronger and more interesting, magnificent.

I also see a lot of ridicule around the book/movie for its base nature, its simplistic plot, its mild kink but let’s face it, no one expects the book to be a high work of literature, or the movie to be Citizen Kane with handcuffs. But that’s ok, Independence Day is a great, fun movie I really like but aliens attacking earth and humans figuring out a way to win is not original or Oscar worthy but it’s a fun movie. So let anyone who would enjoy the book or the movie enjoy it, no need for anyone else to take away their enjoyment by being condescending.

As for sex, who cares what any single individual likes, as long as they are a happy, consenting adult involved with a happy, consenting adult partner – fantastic. Perhaps if more people in the world were having consensual and fulfilling sex our world would be a better place. Even a better place if everyone had deep, loving relationships where they could make love regularly and feel that type of deep intimacy, but that’s not in the cards for everyone unfortunately.

So whether you abstain from sex, are asexual, into the most vanilla sex imaginable or are the kinkiest kid in the city of San Francisco, I hope that you’re getting whatever you need to have a happy day my friend ~ Rev Kane