Happy Fathers Day to My Mother

Absence is a house so vast that inside you will pass through its walls and hang pictures on the air. ~ Pablo Neruda

I know it’s an odd title, Happy Fathers Day to My Mother.  This is how it’s been for a very long time in my life.  I made a decision when I was a teenager to wish my mother a happy Fathers Day every year.  The reason simply being that I feel that if you did both jobs, as my mother did, then you ought to get both holidays, Mothers Day and Fathers Day.  My father left when I was young, he would return at one point for a couple of years, but all in all my mother did all of the parental heavy lifting when I was a child.  He and I have a cordial relationship these days, but I don’t look at him like a father.

You see to me, a father is someone to look up to, someone who set an example, set boundaries, follow through on promises.  Someone who was there to give direction and to give advice.  That, quite frankly was not the case, my mother did the best she could with three kids to do the job of both parents.

No parent is perfect and I realize that my father descriptor above is a bit lofty.  But if you had a man in your life who attempted to meet those ideals, and did a descent job at it, then they deserve a thanks on this holiday.  If you didn’t have a man that did that, then maybe there’s a woman who deserves that thanks today.  If you didn’t have either, than pat yourself on your back, because you did a heck of a thing by providing those things for yourself.

I have no children of my own, my job is to be a good uncle.  A far easier job I will admit, much less responsibility, fewer expectations but a responsibility none the less.  Happily, my nieces and nephews are blessed with three great dads.  My two brother-in-laws are good dads, supportive, hard working and responsible.  They interact with and support their kids, they love them very much and it shows.

My younger brother is father to my two young nephews and my littlest niece.  He’s fifteen years younger than me and I couldn’t be prouder of the father that he has become.  He’s patient, although with two boys 4 and 6, I know he doesn’t always feel that way.  They can be an absolute handful.  He’s affectionate with his children, supportive and sets a great example for them, he shows them that he loves them.  He’s a great dad.

So to all of you who hold the role of father, happy Fathers Day!  It’s important work that you do for not just your family but all of society.  What you do, has made a lot of happy days, for a lot people. ~ Rev Kane