Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life. ~ Anne Roiphe

Happiness and Loss

So, if you’re a regular reader of this blog, first off thank you, you likely have noticed that the posts haven’t been as regular as they usually are lately. For the last few months my mother has been fighting a battle with cancer. Actually, it was her third battle with cancer. She’d asked us not to be public at all with the earlier fights, but over the last four years, she fought lung cancer twice, had a couple of small strokes and finally lost her battle when the cancer spread to her brain. My mother and I had an atypical relationship, in many ways, at a very young age I became her emotional support. I’ve joked often that I’ve been an orphan (parentless) since 1971, even though I had two living parents. My mother did a great job of raising us as kids, she was tough as hell, worked hard as a single mom to make sure we had at least the bare essentials of life. There were times she fell short, sure, no one is perfect. But without her, I would not be where I am today. As such, I swore my mother would never want for anything, I believe I kept that promise. Happily, my mother retained her personality up to the end, wasn’t in pain, and went rather quietly in her sleep.

Loss and grief are crazy things, they dance around and hit when you least expect it, and they hit in ways you don’t expect. But grief can also be a defining point to the end of one chapter in your life, and hopefully the start of a new and happier chapter, let’s hope so.

The header is the nice picture of my mom, I’ve included her obituary below and a picture of her showing her feisty nature, she flipped me off at her 83rd birthday party from her bed at the nursing home. The nicer picture, really maybe the best picture of my mother ever, was shot by my brother.

We are sad to announce the death of our mother, Harriett C Kane of Hudson, NY on December 5, 2025. She passed after a several year battle with cancer. Happily, throughout her extended illness she retained her feisty nature and sense of humor including flipping us the bird on her last birthday.

She was born November 9, 1942 near Cincinnati, OH to Leonard and Harriett Cordato (both now deceased) but lived the majority of her life in and around Hudson, NY. She was the oldest of four children and is survived by her sister Mary and brothers Tony and George.

She worked a number of jobs throughout her life including: as a clerk for the State of New York; several positions for the Grand Union supermarket chain; and as the clerk for the Hudson Police Department where, until her retirement she did her very best to keep the officers and chiefs she worked with in line. The officers of the department were a great comfort to her in retirement and in particular William Osuch who provided her with great support and friendship throughout her illness.

She is survived by William Kane, her former husband who she had a lifelong bond with and remained close with until her death. She was mother to and survived by three children and their spouses, Michael Kane, Maureen Zito (husband, Dino) and Mark Ho-Kane (wife, Doris) and step-mother to Lynn Clark. She was grandmother to six – Molly, Daniel, Mckayla, Ogden, Lucian and Djuna. In her final years, she was greatly supported by the extraordinary efforts of her daughter, Maureen, who was physically nearby to assist her, take her to appointments and provide loving and supportive care.

Per her wishes, there will be no services at this time. Given her lifelong love of animals, in lieu of flowers or cards please either donate to an animal charity of your choice or simply take a long walk in nature and think of her. Per her wishes the family will be spreading her ashes at a later date in a place she dearly loved, Cape Cod. The family wishes to thank the many people who called, sent cards and came to visit her during her illness, it was obvious she touched many people’s lives and will be dearly missed. We would also like to thank the staff at Pine Haven Home for the excellent care they provided during her last weeks.

She will be missed.