Happiness comes from showing our true selves
We are all chameleons, painting on the masks and colors that best hide us from others. Like a chameleon this process is defensive, it keeps others from seeing our true selves and if people don’t know who we really are, then it is harder for them to hurt us. Self-preservation is a very strong instinct, even when it is our emotional safety on the line.
I know this process well, through my life I have become a master of building defenses designed to keep people out. For a large part of my life I would hazard a guess that almost no one in my life, even those who were very, very close to me truly had any understanding of who I was. Now these defenses served their purpose and for a long time it kept me from being hurt. On those instances where I did let someone in I got hurt and that was just further reinforcement that what I was doing was right. However, as with anything, there are two sides and the downside was that no one truly knew me and that was a lonely space to live in. With no one knowing me I had no one I truly trusted so I had no safe conduit or outlet for my deepest thoughts and emotions.
This I am happy to say has changed, the walls and doors that were my defense are open. Initially what changed was the birth of my brother, significantly younger than me, the joy of his arrival, watching him grow, caring for him, there was no thought of keeping him out. Then, I met a woman and maybe it was her, or maybe I was finally ready, or maybe it was both but she blew up all the remaining walls and doors. Left me bare and then hurt me maybe worse than anyone else ever did, but I was a different person then and what I found, was that although the defenses kept people out, once they got in and if they hurt me, they stayed with me, the pain stayed with me as well.
With the doors and windows now open I could let the pain out; it took me some time to learn how to do that, to become a happier person. For me, it was expression through writing, stories, poetry and eventually the birth of the Ministry of Happiness and what I do here. It is my hope that in some small way, what I do here, can help you open the doors and windows within yourself and help you be a happier person. So stay open to others and have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane
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