A little pause on the coast
Originally posted January, 2019
So, as someone who writes a blog on happiness you might think that of course I’m just yippy-skippy happy all the time. That of course is not the case, and if you’ve read this blog for any amount of time, you know that’s not how I roll. Maybe it should be what I do, I’m sure if everything was about being fantastically happy all of the time and how to be that way, I’d have a lot more readers and page views. Which also would then to translate me monetizing the site and making money off of it. As you can tell, this thought has in fact crossed my mind. However, that has never really been what the Ministry of Happiness has been about and I have more respect for all of you than to do that. My goal has always been to portray an honest appraisal of my life and the things I’ve researched, tried and experienced in trying to live a happier life.
So of course, because I’m human and like most humans, not living in a constant state of happiness and bliss, at times I write about being less than happy. As I’ve discussed a number of times on the site, I used to suffer from depression fairly regularly, I’m happy to say that I’ve beaten that back and rarely find myself in the type of well I used to regularly have to crawl out of just to function. But right now I find myself in an interesting and not all that comfortable of a place.
First, let me be clear, I have a great life. I’m fortunate to have a few friends I can truly count on, I have people who love me, and people who think positively about me. I’ve worked hard to put myself into a place where I get to do a lot of things people wish they could. I have the opportunity to travel to amazing places, I mean just this year I spent time in Spain, Portugal, Morocco and Mexico.
But I find myself in a weird place right now. I’m staying at the beach in Gulf Shores, Alabama. I’ve got a great place across the street from the beach and my days are pretty good. I get to walk the beach every day, I have a gym nearby so I’m working out daily and I’m actually eating more healthily than I have for a while. My goal was to come here to do a few things, get my job search rolling which is coming along, albeit slowly. But also to do some writing and I find myself, oddly, with the time but no motivation. None of the projects I have to work on are inspiring the passion I need to dive into them. Maybe, it’s just a glitch and my recent illness, I actually lost my voice for the first time in my life, has just not run its full course yet. Maybe I was just tired and needed a break.
However I feel there is something deeper involved, something that’s been gnawing at me for a while, a lack of anything to be passionate about. Again, great life, but there is nothing driving me right now, I’m not in love, what I do for work is good, but not rewarding on a significant level, and there is no cause or idea I’m incredibly passionate about right now. What I really need, I think, is just several days of really long conversation with someone I trust, but that is just not an option. And that simple fact has me feeling a bit lonely.
Look, we all want to be happier, but at times things just aren’t going to be what we want them to be. That’s ok, we have to take value from the positive things in our life, push ahead on the things we have to do, and look for opportunities to make a change. The really good news, is that I’m sure what’s missing right now is something that is completely my fault. The reason that is good news, is that if it’s my faulty, it’s under my control and I can make the changes necessary. To be honest my friends, that’s usually the case, so stay positive, look for those change opportunities and have a happy day. ~ Rev Kane