You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~ Mae West

I decided to be bad today.

Why? Well I finally got around to getting my shingles vaccine shot. When I checked in the lady said, “ooh shingles shot.” The nurse said, “I see you have three vaccines scheduled.” I mentioned I was there for the shingles shot, “oh we don’t pair the shingles shots with any others, it’s a VERY strong vaccine.” I got a little nervous, then she hands me the info sheet. You might experience a sore arm, bruising, a headache, flu like symptoms, extensive vomiting. I stopped reading at that point I’m sure the rest says something about plagues, locusts and potentially becoming a mutant ninja turtle. The nurse said, “if you have sickness, take some medication.” Always good advice. That was seven hours ago, my arm hurts like hell, I have a headache, and feel like I’m coming down with the flu. So I decided to be bad.

Being bad these days means eating and drinking carbs. So for dinner I made some raviolis with garlic bread and had a bottle of root beer. That’s me being bad these days, back in the early 80’s that had a different meaning. Being bad meant a bottle of vodka, a half an ounce of weed and a couple of hits of acid. And probably some questionable company for the evening.

I’m coming up on my anniversary, it was June of 1984 that I finally made the commitment to be straight and sober. Over the last thirty-eight years there has been a lot. A lot of madness, a lot of tears and depression, a lot of amazing places, people and beauty. Moments of incredible joy. Years of obligation and being boxed in by the world’s expectation, many small and a few large rebellions against those expectations. I have taken this trip my way and it has never been in a straight line, rarely made sense to others but was almost always true to me. What a long strange trip it’s been.

The trip led me to study happiness and depression, to create this tiny little piece of the internet called the Ministry of Happiness, hopefully I’ve helped some people feel better about life and to be a little happier. Follow your voice, do things the way you have to and have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane