Continuing from part 3, part 2, part 1

Life lessons – Part 4

Well, you hit a certain point in life and you develop a certain perspective on how things work.  So as I hit sixty I have a few thoughts on life.  The fact is, you may or may not agree with my perspective but it’s the one I have, for what it’s worth.  There’s no order, rhyme or reason to the way these are listed.

The first and most important thing to share is how precious life is.  We get one life and no second chance, we can’t reverse time.  To steal a famous saying, we always think we have time, but we often don’t.  So treat life as the fleeting, precious thing that it is, don’t wait!  Plan, do things in a calculated way, but don’t wait.

Travel, see the world, experience different cultures and different perspectives, it will do so much to open your mind and expand your life.

Be nice to people whenever you can, especially those who can’t defend themselves.  But don’t be so nice to people that you let them walk all over you.  Always remember, in every interaction with people you are teaching them how to treat you.

Have fun, act like a kid from time to time, do all of the little things that make you happy, whenever you can.  One of the biggest failings around the idea of adulthood is that we have to act “grown up.”  And certainly there are times that you do, but find time to be a little silly, it’s good for your soul.

Blood is not thicker than water.  I know a lot of people won’t like this but family should not be held to a lesser, but to a higher standard than others.  You don’t owe your parents shit for having you, they made that decision not you.  They didn’t do you a favor raising you and paying for your life.  They decided to take on that responsibility by having you.  You don’t owe your siblings just because they share DNA, your aunts and uncles don’t get to be assholes, racists, and bigots, etc… and get forgiven just because they are related to you.  Your family should be chosen, your family should be those people in your life that give you the love, support and respect that you deserve.

Your job is a job.  In rare situations people are actually doing work they would do for free.  If you’re in that situation I’m so happy for you.  But if not, your job is a job.  It’s not your life, you should do a good job, work hard, be responsible, hopefully do work that you enjoy and feels worthwhile.  But your employer is not doing you a favor, they pay you as a trade for the work that you do and in fact your work is probably generating far more income for them, than they are paying you.  So stand up for yourself, get what you deserve and never let a boss take your dignity.

Learn to love yourself, learn to understand and believe in your abilities and skills. You’re awesome, you’re a completely unique creature in all of the universe, that makes you special as hell, recognize and appreciate that.

Don’t settle too often.  Yes, compromise in life is necessary, but the more you settle the more easy it becomes to settle.  The simple fact is that you deserve better and most people forget that.

Fall in love, take the leap, put your heart on the line.  Even though Tennyson was an asshole, it’s not better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.  But the idea of a life, where you have never loved does seem like an unfathomable tragedy.

Forgive, but never forget.  So that you are never in the position of trusting that person in the same way ever again.

Get out of your comfort zone.  As soon as you start to feel completely comfortable, find a way to shake things up, take a risk, stretch yourself in some way.  Getting out of your comfort zone will keep you young, feeling alive and help you live a happier life.

Move your damn body.  Sure, go to the gym or do traditional workouts, but you don’t have to, to be a healthy person.  But you have to move, walk, swim, garden, chop wood, jog, ride a horse, chase butterflies around or run around trying to catch leaves falling from trees. 

Read, it shocks me how few people really read.  It’s such a wonderful thing, it expands your vocabulary, keeps your mind active and can take you to places you could never imagine.

Take care of yourself.  Sure, help others, be responsible and caring but remember you have to take care of yourself.  No one else has that responsibility.  And the airplane analogy very much works, you have to put your mask on before you help others.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever read, at the moment of their death, no one ever regrets not working more.

You never truly ever know someone.  Think about it, there are things in your life and thoughts you have that you have never shared with another soul.  This means of course that every person you know has the same in their life.  You’ll never know what those are, you want it simply in musical form, listen to Billy Joel’s Stranger.  So trust needs to be a risk assessment every time and the deeper the risk, the better you’d better know someone.  And because you can never fully know someone, you can never fully trust anyone.

Spend time talking with cool old people and children and really listen to them.  Cool old people will tell you about things and give you insights you’ll never get anywhere else.  Children, especially toddlers, will tell you the craziest shit you can possibly imagine.  For a month while staying with my sister, my toddler niece would regale me every night with her adventures with her friend Woo-Woo at daycare.  There was no Woo-Woo, they didn’t take the boat on the river alone, or drive the babysitter’s car, or feed a pet lion the neighbor had, but the stories were magnificent.  And the attention I gave to her was incredibly valuable to her.  Talking with old people and children is a massive two-way gift.

The red-neck retirement plan (the lottery) is a lot of fun if you have the money.  But never count on luck, count on your work, skill and planning to be successful.

Karma always comes through.  I have never seen anyone escape their Karma.  Unfortunately, Karma works on Karma’s timetable not yours.  So while Karma will collect it’s due, it might not do it at a time that will satisfy your desire to see it happen.

Having a lot of friends, a lot of followers, a lot of admirers is meaningless.  In life, what matters are the people that you can call at 4AM and say I’m in trouble, I need you and they’ll be there.

Learn to ask the three daily questions.  What did I learn today? What beauty did I experience today?  What made me happy today?

Slowdown and breathe!  Take your time, life goes by so fast, don’t wish or push it to go by faster.