You can’t fix yourself out of a mental health issue. You can’t wake up and say, ‘Today I’m not being depressed!’ It’s a process to get well, but there is recovery. ~ Margaret Trudeau

I’ve Got Nothin!

I’ve been writing this blog for fifteen years and this has been the hardest week to come up with a post, and honestly I haven’t. I’m snake bit right now, hence the image. This image comes from an amazing day, my second day in the famous Jemaa El-Fna square in the old city, Marrakesh, Morocco. It’s an absolutely wild place, an amazing and old Islamic culture running face first into the modern world, tourists from everywhere in a soup of French, Arabic, English and lord knows how many other languages. The old city in Marrakesh is an intense place, the hustlers are on you constantly. Walking the winding and confusing corridors is one of the most intense travel experiences I’ve ever had. You’re walking in a maze, GPS is a waste of time, every three feet some new person is offering to guide you, sell you something or hustle you in some way. And a share of them will come at you when you turn them down, it’s some of the most aggressive hustling I’ve ever experienced. And it’s a full-on sensory experience! You’re dusty and thirsty and the smells are out of control, from spices to foods to incenses it’s really overwhelming. The peace of the inner walls of your riyadh is heaven compared to the madness, and of course, I loved it.

The square is one of the most famous tourist destinations on the planet and it’s absolutely magnificent. From snake charmers to musicians to pick-pockets and all manner of tourists there is a constant buzz. Food of every type imaginable and of course I tried the camel burger, it wasn’t half bad. But the day in this image was spent doing something I’ve always wanted to do, sit in a cafe in Morrocco, sip mint tea with old Morroccans and watch the world go by and that’s exactly what I did. I picked the least touristy, least welcoming cafe on the square, one where I did not see a single white face. As I walked in, old men scowled or looked at me quizzically. I took a seat at the edge of the square, greeted the waitress in Arabic and ordered a pot of mint tea. I then spent two hours and went through two pots of tea just watching the square and it was everything I hoped it would be, couldn’t have been better short of Indiana Jones, Rick from Casablanca sitting down for a chat.

My favorite thing that I saw that day was a scam being run by a huge Morroccan dude with a very well-trained monkey. He was hanging out in the square and when he saw a loving couple walking through the square he would toss the monkey on the man’s back. The monkey was trained to scramble up and sit on the man’s head. He would then run up and say, “how cute, take a picture.” He would then offer to take a picture of the couple with the monkey on the guy’s head, they of course always did it. Then, this very large, and very scary looking guy would hold out is hand with a gnarly look on his face and say, $20. While of course holding their phone and with the monkey having two full hands of the man’s hair. So of course they paid, seriously, every single time they paid and I saw no negotiating. He then would make a hand signal and the monkey would leap off and climb up on his shoulder. I watched him run this dozens of times over the two hours, he had to have made several hundred dollars.

There are always snake charmers in the square and they really don’t pay enough attention to their snakes. They draw huge crowds and have a dozen snakes, cobras and desert rattlesnakes and other various forms of slithering death. I watched at one of their shows, while I was sipping my tea, when one of the desert rattlesnakes slithered off at a random direction, they had no idea. They were so focused on playing with the cobras and hustling the tourists that they didn’t see as this snake just kept going. It was amazing to watch as the crowds split along the path of the snake like the parting of the Red Sea. Eventually one of the snake charmers realized what was happening and went running after and retrieved the snake.

I had decided I wanted a picture with a cobra, so I went over to one of the groups. Now, I’m not really cool with snakes but the world’s most dangerous reverend has to do, what he has to do. So I went over and watched the show and then started working towards getting my photo and I made one small mistake, I didn’t get the price settled and paid first. So this guy gets this huge cobras attention while holding my phone and tells me to squat behind it. As I do, the snake starts to turn my way and this is a frightening moment, this snake is solidly five to six feet long and can easily strike the full distance. To get the snakes attention focused back on him, he whacks him right in the head with my phone, which does the trick happily for me and then he takes the photo above. Right after that he gathers up the snake and is holding it and my phone as he tells me the price. It was at that moment I learned two things, one, I’m fairly brave, and two, my bravery has a limit. And it’s where I came up with the adage, never negotiate with a man holding a cobra. Seriously, they fleeced me for this photo, it cost me like $40. They were happy, I was happy, in fact they were so happy they were willing to throw in a bonus, they were willing to hang six, yes six, non-venomous water snakes around my neck and take another picture. I absolutely declined, and we all had a good laugh.

So, the message tonight, there is no message, just a memory of a really great day, from one of my travels. I’m honestly in the deepest well I’ve been in, in nearly fifteen years and I’m completely snake bit. Right now, nothing, absolutely nothing is going right. So while I have a final level interview on Friday there is absolutely no pressure, because given the way this week is going, there’s no way I’ll get the job. This actually makes it kind of an easy gig, and while it will cost me a bunch of money to fly to NY to do the interview, I’ll also get a chance to see some family and friends and of course, eat some real NY pizza.

So this week my friends, I have no advice, I have no energy, honestly, I’ve got nothin, so I just hope that you can do your best to have a happy day. ~ Rev Kane