You can find the background to The Three Questions in my recent post about it. I’ll be answering the questions each day for the next year and putting this experience into a book. Here we go!
What was the most beautiful thing I encountered today?
There were really two things, some beautiful pink flowers on my walk as well as just a gorgeous day looking over the ocean in Pacifica.
What did I learn today?
To prevent digital eye strain, every 20 minutes, take a 20 second break and focus on something 20 feet away.
What made me happy today?
Had a nice long meeting with someone I mentor today, it was a really great conversation. Also, this week was spring break, so for the most part it’s just managers and classified staff on campus. Made me happy that a lot of them came by to chat, they know my name, they were asking about my leave and surgery. I take a lot of pride in treating them as equals, made me happy to see how much they seem to appreciate it.
Believe you can and you’re halfway there. ~ Theodore Roosevelt
Three Questions, April 3, 2025
You can find the background to The Three Questions in my recent post about it. I’ll be answering the questions each day for the next year and putting this experience into a book. Here we go!
What was the most beautiful thing I encountered today?
On my walk today as I was walking up on the hill overlooking the ocean I found a flower. It was kind of a fuzzy, bluish orchid that was absolutely gorgeous.
What did I learn today?
Today I reread all of my pre-operation materials and learned a lot about what I need to bring to the hospital, and some of the things I need to be ready for my return home.
What made me happy today?
My blood sugar has been too high and over the last few weeks and today I did my last test before my surgery date, and happily my A1C was low enough that I’m quite sure I’m a go for my surgery date which absolutely makes me happy.
You can find the background to The Three Questions in my recent post about it. I’ll be answering the questions each day for the next year and putting this experience into a book. Here we go!
What was the most beautiful thing I encountered today?
On my walk as I rounded the corner overlooking the ocean, I saw the most beautiful purple orchid.
What did I learn today?
Researchers at Nanjing University have developed a device to split oxygen from CO2 without extreme heat and pressure, which will absolutely be huge for space exploration.
What made me happy today?
I had several conversations today that demonstrated that people do really care about me. I don’t have a lot of faith in humanity, I gained a small bit back today.
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. ~ The Bene Gesserit, (Frank Herbert, Dune)
Rev Kane’s Wild Ride: The Fear
So one of the questions I frequently get about my upcoming surgery is, are you afraid? What people want from me in that moment is some brave statement, or minor fear, so they can say everything will be alright and move on. But that’s not the answer I’ve been giving, because in fact, I’m fucking terrified. Now, the logical Vulcan half of my brain is pretty confident, there is a 95% or better chance that I come through this surgery just fine. I have an excellent surgeon and as I mentioned in my last post I’m very happy with the my health care system. So I have confidence that I’ll come through this fine. I understand the power of positive thinking and visualization and I’ve been envisioning waking up in recovery, the process of recovering and I can see it clearly in my mind.
But I’m also a very thorough planner. So as such I have to plan for if it doesn’t, that’s not an easy thing to do, because it means preparing for my potential imminent death. So I’m working through some arrangements, I’ve completed my will, I’ll be leaving some notes behind for people. I mean, they are going to stop my heart for several hours.
So when people ask me about the surgery and say some vague pleasantry like, I hope it goes well, I usually reply, me too, if not don’t worry about it, I’ll be dead. Some people find this to be macabre humor, others are just completely thrown off. And that’s because we try like hell not to ever think about death, I wish my brain would allow for that. I also wish my brain let me believe in an afterlife, I don’t. So if it’s over, I believe it’s over. So yes, I’m completely terrified at an existential level, but hoping, and even planning on things going well. But it’s a complicated space I’m in right now, and so I write, it’s how I process, and I return to the quote above, and the greatest thing I’ve ever seen written about fear, The Bene Gesserit Litany on Fear, written by the great Frank Herbert.
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. ~ The Bene Gesserit, (Frank Herbert, Dune)
Three Questions, April 1, 2025
You can find the background to The Three Questions in my recent post about it. I’ll be answering the questions each day for the next year and putting this experience into a book. Here we go!
What was the most beautiful thing I encountered today?
It was watching Senator Booker break Strom Thurmond’s filibuster record time in the senate. Especially beautiful that a black man did it, given Thurmond’s background.
What did I learn today?
One of those incredibly complex connections that I won’t fully get into here. But one of the factors in why American roads are full of big trucks is because of Germany and chicken. That’s right, a tariff on US chicken caused a response by the US in 1964 that led to 25% tariffs on light trucks. So this gave US automakers little competition, so this has led to bigger and more profitable trucks flooded the market.
What made me happy today?
A friend had a meeting on campus, getting time to chat with her made me very happy.
You can find the background to The Three Questions in my recent post about it. I’ll be answering the questions each day for the next year and putting this experience into a book. Here we go!
What was the most beautiful thing I encountered today?
I took a drive to Palo Alto today, the sun on Lake San Andreas was really beautiful.
What did I learn today?
Read a cool paper about the technology used to control sound waves, nearly to the point where they could weave a sound through a crowd to only one single person.
What made me happy today?
Just having a day off, taking it easy, no appointments, nobody wanting anything.
We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open. ~ Jawaharlal Nehru
Rev Kane’s Wild Ride: The Beginning
So as I’ve been talking about for a time on the blog, I’m scheduled for open heart surgery soon. So far I’ve been going through all of the preliminaries. This has included several rounds of blood tests, a CT scan, echocardiagram, carotid artery ultrasound, and one round of blood tests to go. A chest x-ray, EKG, meetings with various nurse practitioners, anesthesiologists and most recently this past Friday a heart catheterization procedure. This one was really fascinating and frustrating for me. The fascination was that I could see the x-ray monitor as they tracked the wire that went through an artery in my wrist up through my shoulder, around and into my actual heart. I could see the dye being injected to check how clear my arteries were, really amazing technology. It was frustrating because it meant coming off several of my medications, not eating for fourteen hours that day and spending lots of time laying around in a hospital bed just waiting to recover. I should probably get used to that idea.
The one issue that could put a wrinkle into all of this is my blood sugar levels. They were way to high a month ago but with new meds and a militant focus on my diet, they’ve come down significantly. I get tested one more time this week and then by next Monday I’ll know if I’m a go for surgery or if it will be pushed back until my numbers are better. After my procedure on Friday they finally fed me, and I don’t normally eat bread, so a chicken sandwich was actually a bit of a treat, almost as much as the pudding they gave me, I even had a couple of crackers for the bowl of flavorless soup they gave me.
After my procedure I went back to my hotel and watched the Tennessee Vols beat up on UK in the NCAA tournament which was really satisfying. I then decided to go a bit old school for my post procedure dinner. I went down to Tommy’s Joynt an old school San Francisco stand by for a regular meat plate. Basically a lovely dish of roast beef, mash potatoes and gravy, a sourdough role, salad and of course a helping of their free dill pickles. It was really delicious and I relished in breaking down that role and using it to scoop up gravy and the remnants of the mash potatoes, for someone who has pretty much been carbless for two months it was truly a glorious meal.
Of course I had also been given sedation drugs for half a day so I was pretty dragged out. Add in a totally twisted eating schedule and the stress of the day and I was pretty wiped out. But it was a successful preliminary to my adventure as they detected no arterial issues that would add to my surgical procedure that already will be quite complicated and long.
So what is the center piece of my wild ride? Well it will be three surgeries all wrapped up in one and I’ve linked out to each of them if you are interested in the technical details. So I will be having:
From what I’ve gathered so far, this surgery is going to take about 6 hours, I’m guessing they’ll stop my heart for about four hours, then jump start it back into action after the arteries and valve are sewn up. A thought that is absolutely terrifying if I’m being honest. Also, I think technically after this I qualify as a Zombie.
So my next blood tests are this Thursday, I have three medical appointment meetings on Monday attached to the surgery and I should know by next Monday if I’m cleared for surgery.
I know we all complain about our healthcare and I have Kaiser, an HMO. I know a lot of people who really dislike Kaiser but I’ve never had an issue with them. I have a really fantastic primary physician, Dr. Jones, no she’s not an archaeologist. She’s super smart, empathetic and does a great job of getting to know her patients, listening and working with you for solutions. For my catheterization I had Dr. Mastali and he was magnificent. First off, he just looked cool and was easy going and laid back, one of the nurses told me that if she was having the procedure, he’s the one she would want. He was super efficient and very kind. My nurses were all really friendly, competent and nice all in all I’ve been very happy.
Finally my surgeon and his office have been amazing. And my surgeon from all reports and everything I have read, as well as from a cardiac nurse at Kaiser, I’ve been told he’s great and that’s the sense that I have as well. So, terrifying no doubt, but I have confidence in who is doing the procedure.
So this is just the beginning of the road, I’ll keep you updated as I can and apologize if this is a bit of singular focus of the blog for a while, but this really is my whole world at the moment and I hope you’ll forgive me. The recovery process for the surgery, assuming all goes well, a week or so in the hospital then six to eight weeks for the majority of the healing, mostly the healing of the breast bone then three months before I’ll return to work and another three months to get back to full strength. So Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday will be when I’ll mark my full recovery from the surgery, and I’m planning this Thanksgiving to be a big celebration as a result and I’ll have twelve weeks of laying around recovering to make plans.
Be well and have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane
The soul is healed by being with children. ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Three Questions, March 30, 2025
You can find the background to The Three Questions in my recent post about it. I’ll be answering the questions each day for the next year and putting this experience into a book. Here we go!
What was the most beautiful thing I encountered today?
Today on my walk, as spring is in full bloom I passed by a pack of fennel. Fennel is actually an invasive species here that grows everywhere. Pulling some leaves into my hand and rolling it around, taking a deep breath and smelling the anise scent of those leaves was the most beautiful thing I encountered today.
What did I learn today?
I read a cool article about the new ecosystem found in Antarctica after an ice shelf broke off and floated away. Very cool.
What made me happy today?
On my walk I decided to do a couple loops around the park and playground. So the cutest little toddler doing the oddest thing and it made me laugh. He had the most curious way of running. Whenever he would run, he would put his hands up behind his head and bolt. Seems like a great way to fall on your face but he seemed fine with it.
Life is full of challenges, but I always have the Three Ps: Passion, patience and persistence. And the fourth one is pizza. ~ Butch Hartman
Three Questions, March 29, 2025
You can find the background to The Three Questions in my recent post about it. I’ll be answering the questions each day for the next year and putting this experience into a book. Here we go!
What was the most beautiful thing I encountered today?
My first slice of pizza in a month, a lovely pepperoni slice from Gioia in San Francisco.
What did I learn today?
I read a piece on Ishi the last member of the Yahi Indian tribe, in 1911 he emerged near Oroville, CA and is regarded as the last wild man of the west.
What was the most beautiful thing I encountered today?
It was lunch, due to a medical procedure I hadn’t eaten in 14 hours.
What did I learn today?
There is a classic science experiment, Miller-Urey, that demonstrated how electricity (lightening specifically) could have kicked off the creation of organic molecules. A new study just showed that in fact it could happen with just micro-lightening.
What made me happy today? Getting good news from my heart procedure today and topping it off with my first visit to Tommy’s Joint
The Ministry of Happiness 