Kindness, Mardi Gras and Countdowns

Posted on January 29, 2024 by Michael Kane

No Act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted ~ Aesop

Kindness

I receive two acts of kindness on Friday, neither was expected. The first came as I was having a discussion in the hall with a faculty member one of my fellow deans showed up. She came bearing a gift, a small box of chocolates and a thank you card. She’s a great colleague who I really like working with and this just makes me like her even more. And while I think they were technically truffles, I felt like I was in my office eating bons bons.

Secondly, one of my staff members, a lovely older Vietnamese woman who works at night was working Friday night. As I did my walk-through she said to me, “stay right here.” She then walked away and returned a few minutes later with a bag, she smiled and said, “I remembered.” Looking in the bag I was so excited, it was a plate of banh beo, my favorite Vietnamese dish. This dish is really time consuming to make and as such, most restaurants don’t serve it. It’s actually been several years since I had any and it was wonderful. But what really touched me, was that she had remembered this from a conversation we had at least two years ago, such a kind act.

These small acts of kindness mean so much to us. It’s important to remember my friends, whenever you have a chance to do these, take the opportunity. The impact will almost always outpace effort.

Mardi Gras

I’m getting ready to head to my favorite city soon for Mardi Gras. I love New Orleans, I’ve traveled to many cities all over the world, but New Orleans was a place that felt like home from the first minute I set foot in that city. My mouth is already watering for that first bowl of gumbo at Coteri and I’m carefully planning my trip to Cochon for their Rabbit and Dumplings, my favorite dish at any restaurant anywhere. I’ve previously posted this guide to New Orleans giving some of my favorites in the city. But it’s not only about the food, it’s the music, the opportunities for photography, the weirdness of it all. And of course, Mardi Gras parades, I love them so much.

This past week in talking about heading to Mardi Gras, I was reminded of how little most people know about Mardi Gras itself, so tonight a quick primer. First off, Mardi Gras is not a day, most people seem to confuse the last day of Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday) for Mardi Gras as if it’s a one day holiday. Mardi Gras is a season, it’s a season of festivities leading up to Lent. The reason Mardi Gras dates change every year is that Easter and the six weeks of Lent prior to Easter move around on the calendar. Fat Tuesday is the end of Mardi Gras and Ash Wednesday, the next day, kicks off Lent. Which is also why Mardi Gras ends at midnight on Fat Tuesday, and yes, they do clear Bourbon Street at Midnight.

The first parades of the Mardi Gras season this year were on January 6th, so you can see with Fat Tuesday being February 13th this year, Mardi Gras season lasts for over a month. And in New Orleans, the city does celebrate for the month. Here’s a little clip of what the parades look like, this is Endymion one of the biggest krewes that does a huge parade:

There are a lot of misconceptions about Mardi Gras. The biggest is that Bourbon Street is where Mardi Gras happens. And yes, Bourbon street for most of Mardi Gras season is effectively the equivalent of a large frat party. Yes, there are women flashing their breasts so people will throw them beads and drunken fools at every turn and I spend almost no time on Bourbon Street. Everyone who goes to Mardi Gras will have beads thrown to them, even on Bourbon Street without flashing anything, no one is in a hurry to see my breasts and I get tons. At any Mardi Gras parade you will catch more beads then you have ever imagined. At every parade, while giving most of the beads I catch away, I still end up with ten or fifteen pounds worth of beads. I send boxes of beads to three different people every year and I get all of those beads at my first parade. 

bosom buddies, mardi gras

The parades are not the drunken debauchery of Bourbon Street, the parades come through the neighborhoods in the city. The parade route is full of families and little children and only a few walking parades even happen in the French Quarter. Sure, there are drunk people, mostly tourists wandering the parade route, but mostly it’s a G rated affair. The naughtiest thing are some of the themes of the floats that I’m guessing most of the time, aren’t even comprehensible to the kids, as they are typically political in nature.

I have met so many kind and wonderful people at parades, been invited to join families as they ate their dinners they bring, been invited to parties after the parades and made friends with other tourists. The parades are absolutely fantastic affairs.

Countdowns

The countdowns are on! As I’ve mentioned in the past I’ve already started celebrating my upcoming 60th birthday a little less than seven months away. Mardi Gras will be my second event of this celebration. The other is my retirement, while my official date looks to be Feb 18th, it looks like my last day physically working on campus will be Friday, January 31st next year, so this Wednesday marks the start of my last year of work here in California.

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Climbing out of the Well

Posted on January 21, 2024 by Michael Kane

Depression begins with disappointment. When disappointment festers in our soul, it leads to discouragement. ~ Joyce Meyer

It’s been a pretty bad couple of weeks for me. There have been some family health issues as well as some interpersonal issues and work has been more of an insane asylum than it usually is. It’s one of the reasons I missed posting last week, something I rarely do. This blog has gone through a lot of changes over the years and over time has really morphed into something of a public diary. A blog that mirrors my life and my interests as diverse and nutty as they are. So some weeks you get a lesson on happiness, sometimes a pizza or movie review, travel anecdotes or maybe just a bit of rambling. I usually try and bring most of the posts back to a lesson on happiness, and I do that with varying amounts of success. I greatly appreciate those of you who read the blog regularly and love when you comment, it’s what has kept this blog alive for the last dozen years.

One of the main reasons that I started this blog was to share what I learned as I worked through my own issues with severe depression. As I’ve related many times, I expected to share out for a year or so and wrap this up, so much for the plans of men. This last week was a great reminder of the progress I’ve made over that time, aided by what I learned, the writing of this blog and your support.

I quite honestly, at the beginning of this past week, was in the foulest mood I’d been in for years. Where I’ve been very good over the last ten years of not letting issues in life impact my mood, I failed miserably recently. The anger and frustration I was feeling set me on a path to dive back into the well of depression in a way I haven’t in over a decade. 

Over the years I’ve done a good job of understanding my triggers, the things that send my mood diving. I obviously missed them this time around. I’ve also over the years learned how to bring myself out of these moods, but normally it’s not so big of a climb. And this is the good news and what I want to focus on in this post, because I was able by this weekend to climb back out of that well and get myself back to balance.

Over time I’ve learned a lot of strategies to bring myself back to balance and I needed all of them this past week. First, it’s always important to be living healthy, eating properly, drinking enough water, keeping my workout routine and get enough sleep. Then it was important to boost my dopamine and serotonin levels. Which at the simplest levels, without diving into the brain chemistry details, means providing yourself with feel good experiences. So this week, I actually got a little looser with my diet. I didn’t go nuts but I made sure that every meal was something satisfying. So while ordinarily tacos would be a cheat meal, I made tacos for dinner one night. Another day for lunch I allowed myself some enchiladas, I had a slice of pizza another day. I also did everything I could to find ways to reduce my stress levels, which also included cutting back on my social media and news consumption. 

All of these things were definitely helping and as often happens, when you make an effort things seem to start to go your way. As the week went on I had some really nice interactions with kind strangers, I was able to help out some students and made more of a conscious effort to express gratitude internally and externally for what was happening. Then on Thursday night as I sat down to eat those tacos, I flipped on the TV to find something to watch. And starting at that exact time, on TCM (so no commercials) was the movie that makes me laugh more than any other movie, The Big Lebowski. So that night I ate dinner and laughed and laughed as I watched that movie. Friday and Saturday were laid back days and I even had a couple of great conversations with people who make me smile, including my two nieces. 

I feel really good about this, honestly I was scared that I was going to go into a serious depression. To have pulled myself out of the spiral in a week seems honestly like a minor miracle to me. One I’m incredibly grateful for, and now, next week, back to our regularly scheduled discussions about happiness. Have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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Starting a Fitness Routine

Posted on January 10, 2024 by Michael Kane

The resistance that you fight physically in the gym and the resistance that you fight in life can only build a strong character. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger

This time of year a lot of people start fitness routines and by February most of them have stopped those routines. The fact is I’m a huge fan of anyone starting a fitness routine, but particularly people over the age of 40. As we age we lose flexibility and muscle mass, but only if we don’t stay active. It’s always amazing to me to meet people in their 80’s who are still highly active. They don’t seem to suffer from many of the ailments many other people do even in their 50’s. 

Fitness really has three components from my perspective, cardio fitness, strength training and eating well. Most people understand the whole cardio fitness bit, and that makes sense. Because honestly cardio fitness can be addressed with something as simple as walking every day. Extending your walking for longer distances and time and then throwing in some stairs or hills is something anyone can do, even if you’re new to fitness training. And you can always graduate up to jogging or even running.

That’s the part everybody gets, but what a lot of people don’t seem to get is the importance of resistance (weight) training as we age. One of the main reasons people have difficulty with coordination, walking, balance as well as other physical issues as we age is a loss of strength and muscle mass. Weight training can help us stave off these losses. I realize there is a lot of anxiety about weight lifting and a lot of intimidation at the idea of going into a gym for he first time and lifting weights. So let me give you a lot of good news. 

First, you don’t really need to go to the gym to start resistance training. Second, you don’t have to have any special equipment or do anything crazy to get started. The fact is water is a wonderful tool for weightlifting. A gallon of water weighs a little over eight pounds. So the only equipment you need to get started is a gallon of water or even some small waters. Start with it half filled and fill it as you get stronger. You can use the gallon jugs to start doing bicep curls, tricep curls and even chest exercises. You of course also can be more traditional and use dumbbells or strength bands. If you have the money and desire you can even hire a personal trainer.

But here is the real good news of this post. What’s most important about all of this is not how much, how far or how fast. What’s most important is that you’re consistent. So whether your cardio is a 10 minute walk once a day, or doing 10 curls every other day with 16 ounce water bottles, what’s important is that you are consistent. Doing cardio 5-6 times a week and lifting in some capacity 3 times a week is all you need. It doesn’t matter if you do these in the morning, afternoon or evening. What’s most important is that you just keep doing it.

The simple fact is that as long as you keep at it consistently, you’ll get more fit. Especially because the longer you do it, the more advanced you’ll get, the more you’ll challenge yourself. And that’s the second secret of this whole thing, gradually increasing the challenge. So if you walk 5 minutes a day 5 days a week that’s great. But eventually you need to work up to 10 minutes a day, but only when you’re comfortable and ready. It’s the same thing with weight lifting, start with 2 pound dumbbells and when you’re comfortable move up to 5 pounders.

The most important goal is too not over stress yourself. The reason most people fail at this is first they don’t keep doing it consistently. Secondly, they challenge themselves too quickly, get too sore or injure themselves then quit. No, it is not required to be sore after a workout, sure once you get to the point of lifting heavier weights you will get a little sore after a big workout, but that doesn’t need to start until your routines are well established and you’re comfortable challenging yourself.

I’ll give you an example of all of this. When I first starting working out in the gym, in anticipation of hiking to base camp at Mount Everest a year later, I was walking on the treadmill at 2.4 miles an hour with no incline. Now, almost 20 years later, and older, I routinely finish my treadmill routines at 3.4 or 3.5 miles an hour at a 12-15% incline. But I was at 2.4 for a while, then 2.5, then adding a 1% incline and so on and so forth. I also started out doing 10 minute sessions and now my minimum is 30 minutes. Honestly, if I could do it, so can you. What made me successful was simply being consistent, and allowed me to spend 30 days hiking in the high passes of the Himalayas.

As for the third component of fitness, eating well, I’m going to leave that bit of advice to my friend Suanne. Like the workout piece of what we’ve been talking about, with the eating piece you just need to incrementally do better. And in order to do that you need to be consistent and find ways of doing it that are not boring or feel like effort. My friend Suanne has a great Instagram page, where she posts fantastic meal ideas and encouraging and uplifting memes and advice, check it out. She’s truly become the queen of the interesting salads and I get a lot of great ideas from her page.

So my friends, get moving, get lifting and eat a little better, this doesn’t have to be climbing a mountain, just strolling up an easy incline. But as long as you do, whatever you’re doing consistently and gradually challenge yourself, you’ll get fitter, feel better and probably become more than a bit happier. ~ Rev Kane

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New Year, New Beginning

Posted on January 8, 2024 by Michael Kane

Remember tonight… for it is the beginning of always. ~ Dante Alighieri

This time of year you read a lot of the same types of articles and posts. You get the whole best of, 10 most, etc… of the previous year. You get a lot of advice about how to set and stick to your new year resolutions. You can even find pieces that will give you ready made resolutions you can make for the year. I really don’t like any of those posts. 

So for my first weekly post as the year gets rolling I’m going to make a simple observation and wish you a good year.

The real beauty of the arbitrary reality of the new year starting, (because let’s face it, the start of the year depends on the calendar your using), is the fact that you get a chance to start over. Sure it’s arbitrary, you could start over on March 9th, but given we live on this calendar it does lend a psychological boost to moving forward.

The beauty of starting over is that you create an artificial clean slate. I love this idea, so what are you going to do with your clean slate? Me, I’m making a big transition over the next year, shortly after 2024 ends I’ll be retiring, leaving California and moving across the country and hopefully taking a second swing at thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail. So this year is a lot about paring down of my life. Getting rid of possessions, organizing things, figuring out where I want to live, to store what little stuff I have left, etc… It will also mean ramping up my hiking training so that I’m back in thru-hiking shape. What I learned on my recent trip was that my aerobic fitness level is solid, I can tell I’ve been consistently in the gym. But my hiking shape is not where it will need to be, I could tell I’ve been spending too much time walking on flat ground and not pushing my quads. This year will also be all about celebrating my 60th birthday, that started in Nevada in December and will continue in February in New Orleans for Mardi Gras.

So I’m fully engaging in a new start, the next big chapter in my life. What will your new start be focused on? Whatever it is, go at it with a positive attitude. We know our attitude drives our perspective and our perspective very often drives our success, however we define it. Most importantly remember to have fun, to find time to do the things that make you happy and have more happy days my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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Happiness is Pizza: Vegas Pizza Reviews

Posted on January 4, 2024 by Michael Kane

Just as a reminder, all of my reviews are accumulated on my Pizza Page.

The Pizza Page – Pizza IS happiness!

VEGAS PIZZA REVIEWS

So recently I was in Vegas for a few days and decided to visit several pizza places and do a few reviews.

On the strip

Pizza Cake

Pizza Cake gets some great write ups online, apparently the owner is a pretty famous pizza guy. I’ve never really cared about the fame of a pizza place owner, it’s all about the pizza. Pizza Cake is located in Harrah’s Casino. I had remembered there was a pizza place there and wondered to the food court. There was pizza there reviewed below, but I realized on the way out that in fact I had not gone to Pizza Cake.

So I returned later that day before I went to a Cirque de Soleil Show, Mystere and had a couple of slices for dinner. As you can see from the photo the slices looked right. And in fact they tasted as good as they look, these were solid NYC slices served on the Las Vegas strip. I was happy with them, just wished they’d been heated a little better, but definitely a solid slice. You can access Pizza Cake two ways, they have the shop inside or a street spot outside. I opted for the street side as the inside shop was always busy.

No name pizza at Harrah’s Casino

The fact is, the no-name pizza place in the Harrah’s food court was really solid. With a very Brooklyn-esque cashier checking out customers. In true Brooklyn fashion, “get your ice at that soda machine and your soda over in that one.”

Good solid slice, not quite as good as Pizza Cake but also a bit cheaper so an absolutely solid option if you’re at Harrah’s want to save a couple of bucks or don’t want to fight the lines at Pizza Cake.

Mulberry Street Pizza (Las Vegas Resort World)

I was initially really annoyed with this place. I was staying in the Conrad at Resort World and was excited the first night to actually get comfortable in the hotel and just get a pizza for dinner. I walked down and they were closed. The next morning I went down at opening and they weren’t open yet and there was already a line forming and the guy opening was not friendly.

I would eventually return later that afternoon for a couple of slices. Very good slices and absolutely huge, but also expensive, it is the Vegas Strip so that wasn’t a shock. The staff that afternoon was fantastic, the pizza was really good and it was very much on point as a NYC thin slice.

Downtown Las Vegas

Good Pie 1212 S. Main Street

Good Pie is a place I’ve been dancing around for quite some time. I have good friends who live within walking distance of this place. They’re New Yorkers and pizza lovers as well and they talk about this place incredibly positively. I’ve even hung out with the owner one night when we were out to dinner at a nearby restaurant. 

Finally, I made it to Good Pie and of course the fact that it took so long meant the expectations had built up pretty high. First off, I love the set up, inside a basic neighborhood bar feel and there’s also a slice window with some outside seating. I was actually hitting this place as an appetizer before dinner with my friends. I was a little impatient, they only had one type of slice available, I ordered it then 2 minutes later they brought out cheese and pepperoni pizzas. So I ordered an uncharacteristically fancy slice for me, meatball and ricotta cheese. It was delicious, very solid NYC slices, well made, good sauce and the right level of thinness of dough with the right level of cheese. All in all, a little better than the slices on the strip and would be very at home in NYC.

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Happy Holiday in the Desert

Posted on January 3, 2024 by Michael Kane

I don’t see the desert as barren at all; I see it as full and ripe. It doesn’t need to be flattered with rain. It certainly needs rain, but it does with what it has, and creates amazing beauty. ~ Joy Harjo

Happy Holiday in the Desert

So what has become a bit of an annual tradition, I headed again this year out to the Mojave Desert for Christmas. I spent three days in the Valley of Fire State Park in Nevada. The park is about an hour east of Las Vegas and is absolutely spectacular. I love the Mojave in the winter, the days are typically in the 50s or 60s, the nights from the 20s to 40s. This year the nights were a bit on the colder side, so after the first night I bought myself a Christmas present a fleece blanket, because I’d forgotten my fleece sleeping bag insert.

I love camping here for a couple of reasons, great weather, amazing scenery, clear amazing skies and the fact that on occasion I’ve had bighorn sheep come walking through my camp. This year, I was woken up on Christmas morning by the sound of hoof beats. I woke up and went for the zipper on the tent, which stopped the hooves, only to hear deep breathing next to the tent. By time I got the zipper open, they had moved off across the campground but it was a great way to start the day.

I spent the day hiking and returned to for lunch and then to take a little snooze in my hammock. While laying there listening to music I had a small songbird land on my shoulder. I’ve spent a lot of time in nature and this is the first time I’ve ever had a bird land on me, it was pretty cool.

Back at camp for dinner, as I was cooking I turned to go to my car and there stood a 250 pound Bighorn Ram. He stared at me, I stared at him, both of us wondering what the other would do. After our little stare off, he went back to munching on a bush on the site. A minute later I noticed another ram on the rocks above my picnic table, he moved down in front of me and finally a yew was standing there as well. I was basically surrounded by huge bighorn sheep while I ate dinner, it was really special.

Finally, a little Pagan fire magic helped turned my campfire a bit festive.

I then slid into Vegas for three days, some time to meet up with friends for an amazing dinner, to lose some money in the casinos although I had one fantastic run on the craps table at the Stratosphere. It was a great Christmas vacation, I came back relaxed and happy, I hope yours was equally as good.Below I’ve included some shots from Valley of Fire State Park. ~ Rev Kane

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So, you don’t have any children?

Posted on December 19, 2023 by Michael Kane

Teaching is a very noble profession that shapes the character, caliber, and future of an individual. If the people remember me as a good teacher, that will be the biggest honor for me. ~ A P J Abdul Kalam

So tonight a cross-list between two of my blogs, The Ministry of Happiness and Higher Ed Mentor. Recently I met someone new, we got to talking. As we were talking we did what people do while talking with each other for the first time and asked each other questions. Many of the standard questions like where did you grow up, do you have siblings? And as often happens in these conversations the question swings around to spouses and children. And after explaining that I’ve never been married I inevitably get the comment, so you have no children then? At this point I usually throw in a comment about my eight nieces and nephews who I dearly love.

But this time a very different thought hit me in this conversation. I do have children, I have thousands of children, no, not in the biological sense, but in the educational sense. Likely this thought hit me because I’m nearing retirement and have been thinking back a lot lately about my career. So I decided to scan across the years and figure out how many children I have had. Kind of like the most boring episode of The Maury Povich Show ever.

I started my educational career at SUNY Platsburgh where in 1986 as an undergrad I was hired to teach a general biology lab section, my first 24 kids. That year I also did my student teaching experiences for my secondary teaching credential, Another 48 kids in my two 8th science classes and another 48 later that semester in many 10th grade biology classes.

At Eastern Kentucky University each semester I had five lab sections of Natural Science 101, so twenty sections in two years at 24 in each section, nearly another 500 students. The pace really picked up at the University of Tennessee for several years I would have 48 to 72 students per semester in class. Then, I became an academic advisor and would meet with, on average, 30 students a week for 16 weeks each semester, meaning for six years at UTK I was working with 1000 students a year not including a few hundred more each summer during orientation. While at Hartnell College, I had each semester 200 students in the MESA Program for three years and taught 48 person Ecology classes. So likely in my career I’ve worked closely with over 7,000 students.

So do I have children, yes, about 7,000. Of course it’s very different from actual parenting but none the less I like to think I had an impact on a lot of them, they have certainly had an impact on me and why it’s been such a wonderful career. ~ Rev Kane

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Being a Happy Little Imposter

Posted on December 18, 2023 by Michael Kane

‘Imposter Syndrome’ is the feeling of wearing a mask and playing a role that one does not feel at home in. It is when you feel like you or your work is a fluke and that you’re a dwarf amongst giants. Many of us have this, especially when we’re in some sort of creative industry. ~ Luvvie Ajayi

It seems that lately I’ve had a lot of conversations about imposter syndrome with folks. I find a lot of folks, particularly in their work environment, feel like somehow they’ve ended up in a position that they are not qualified for, or not ready for. I really hear this from students who have just graduated and are in their first professional position. We all know the feeling, it’s something almost everyone feels that first day in a new position. You’re sitting at your desk and you’ve been given a bit to read, or a website to review, and you’ve gone through it and then you have nothing to do. It’s that disconcerting feeling you get sitting there, not knowing what to do next, then you start wondering what am I doing here, I have no idea how to do this job. We all go through this every time we step into a higher position, or change careers.

What imposter syndrome means for a lot of people is never being able to shake that first day feeling, that no matter how long you stay in the job, or how accomplished you get, you can’t shake the feeling that someone is going to show up and uncover the fact that you really don’t know what you’re doing, that you’re an imposter. The fact is we all feel this way to a degree and most of us, at least in the beginning, are truly just winging it. And I can tell you, even after 35 plus years working in higher education and twenty years as a dean, there are still moments when I am absolutely winging it and hoping for the best. The only difference is that I have a lot of experience to base those guesses on.

It doesn’t only happen at work, you can also feel that way in a relationship. You find yourself in a relationship with someone amazing and you start to wonder if you really deserve them. You wonder why they would want to be with someone like you? This is another form of imposter syndrome.

Like many negative things in life it’s important to change the frame of reference. Instead of wondering if you deserve to be in your job, or in your relationship, you have to change that message. One of the ways that you can do this is to provide yourself with positive self-affirmations. It may sound silly, but starting each day by looking in the mirror and saying to yourself I deserve to be where I am, in the job or the relationship I am in. Changing the message you tell yourself, starts to work on your internal narrative. It starts to dampen down that voice inside you telling you that you don’t belong. Do it long enough, consistently enough, and you can begin to change your perspective. And maybe start to see yourself in a more positive light, and start to truly believe you belong.

This little exercise is important because you do belong. If you logically look at your situation, you’ll see the evidence. But sometimes that internal negative dialogue can put blinders on you and not let you seen what’s right in front of you. You wouldn’t be in the position you are in if you didn’t deserve to be there, if you hadn’t accomplished all of the things you have previously done. Your person would not have picked you if you weren’t worthy of being picked.

My biggest fear for people dealing with imposter syndrome is that it’s self-limiting. If you don’t feel you deserve the job you have, you’ll likely find it hard believing that you’re ready for the next. And often people will not take that next big chance and by not doing so, they can get stuck in a position they’re no longer happy in. 

So my friends, if you’re feeling like an imposter change your narrative. Talk to yourself and work on truly believing in yourself, work on your self worth and belief in the fact that you do belong and have happier days my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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Navigating the Festive Season: A Guide to Overcoming Holiday Blues

Posted on December 13, 2023 by Michael Kane

Navigating the Festive Season: A Guide to Overcoming Holiday Blues

The holiday season is often hailed as a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness. However, for many individuals, it can also bring about a sense of melancholy and loneliness known as the “holiday blues.” Whether triggered by personal circumstances, social expectations, or memories of loved ones, these feelings can cast a shadow over what should be a festive time. If you find yourself grappling with the holiday blues, fear not! This post offers detailed tips to help you overcome these emotions and embrace the season with a renewed sense of positivity.

  1. Acknowledge and Accept Your Feelings: It’s crucial to recognize and accept that feeling down during the holidays is a valid and common experience. Rather than suppressing these emotions, allow yourself to acknowledge them. Understanding that it’s okay to feel this way is the first step towards finding relief.
  2. Reach Out for Support: Don’t hesitate to share your feelings with friends, family, or a trusted confidant. Sometimes, expressing your emotions can provide a tremendous sense of relief. If you’re comfortable, consider attending holiday gatherings or seeking companionship to alleviate feelings of isolation.Recommended Reading: Coping with Loneliness During the Holidays
  3. Create New Traditions: If the holidays evoke painful memories or are a reminder of loss, consider creating new traditions that bring joy and meaning. This could include volunteering, exploring festive events in your community, or starting a personal tradition that reflects your interests and values.Recommended Reading: Building New Holiday Traditions
  4. Set Realistic Expectations: The pressure to create a perfect holiday season can contribute to the blues. Be realistic about what you can accomplish and focus on the aspects of the season that bring you genuine happiness. Don’t be afraid to scale back on commitments and prioritize self-care.Recommended Reading: Managing Holiday Expectations
  5. Practice Self-Care: Take time for yourself amidst the holiday hustle. Engage in activities that promote well-being, such as exercise, meditation, or reading a good book. Prioritize adequate sleep and nourish your body with healthy foods to support your overall mental health.Recommended Reading: Self-Care Strategies for the Holidays
  6. Seek Professional Help if Needed: If the holiday blues persist and become overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek professional support. Therapists and counselors can offer guidance and coping strategies tailored to your specific situation.Recommended Reading: When to Seek Professional Help for Holiday Blues

The holiday blues can affect anyone, but with proactive steps and support, you can navigate this season with resilience and a positive mindset. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help and prioritize your well-being during the holidays. By implementing these tips, you can overcome the holiday blues and create a more enjoyable and fulfilling festive experience. ~ Rev Kane

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Happiness in the Next Act

Posted on December 11, 2023 by Michael Kane

It’s never too late to be who you might have been. ~ George Elliot

Happiness in the Next Act

This time of year has a tendency to be a highly contemplative period for me. It’s a combination of my normal dropping mood (see last week’s post), the early darkness and the year ending. So what I’ve been really thinking about is the transition to what’s next, there’s a plan, you knew there was a plan. The first part of the plan is of course my retirement date from my current position. The second piece is to head back out on the Appalachian Trail, my second run at doing all 2,000 miles of the trail, or at the very least, finishing the 1000 miles I haven’t done, or some combination of both. And likely a sequel to my first book, Appalachian Trail Happiness. It’s also a different time, 10 years later so the social media component of the hike will be far different than the first time, stay tuned, my training starts in a few weeks.

But the next phase is somewhat of an open story still. I know for the next five years I’ll need to work and I’ve got a lot of that worked out. I want to be at a four year school, I want to work with students and I don’t want to manage people, or very few. I’ll be looking for a property to make my own. It’s the edges and the rest of the time that I’m still playing with and that’s where the quote in the image sort of fell today like a quote from above. My next act, and really anyone’s next act is a story they get to create for themselves. Sure, we’re not guaranteed any set amount of time in life, but you have to both live like there’s not much time left, and also plan like there is. One of my favorite Taoist parables is about a man who in retirement decided to plant an apple orchard. He told his friend that he never expected to harvest a single crop due to his age, but that it was something he always wanted to do. In fact, he did live to see the orchard produce many apples and each year shared with his friend. The thing I’ve always taken from this parable is exactly what I said above and as such I’ve been thinking about lately is what big thing I want to do.

In fact planting a fruit tree orchard is something I want to do. But I consider what I want to do in terms of property and doing things like making, ciders, wines, soap and learning much more about foraging as mid-level things that I want to do. But what is the big thing, is it a focus on my writing and branching out into to fiction, is it working on something political, there are a lot of things bouncing around my mind? But most importantly, at this point in my life, it is to do things that make me happy. While I’ve done a good job of this throughout my adult life, there was always a lot of responsibility, work, family, financial issues on my back. Now that I won’t have a lot of that on top of me, it’s time to cut loose and be who I could have been. A lot of what my 60th birthday means to me is no longer holding back. Now for those of you who know me outside of this blog, that might seem a little shocking. I don’t think most people think I hold much back, but in fact I do and after 60 years of obligation and responsibility it’s time to let it all fly.

I try and find a lesson in each of my weekly posts, and trust me after over eleven years and 1,600 posts that is often a struggle. So I guess tonight I steal one from the Bard of Avon, with a nod to my high school English teacher Francis Sullivan, and to be happier, to thine own self be true. ~ Rev Kane

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