Happiness is being scared senseless

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. ~ Frank Herbert, Dune

We have been talking a lot here lately about my upcoming adventure, for those of you who are new, I’m about to quit my job and spend 6 months hiking on the Appalachian Trail. Of course this also involves selling my house, quitting my job and effectively being unemployed and homeless for the next year. Now it means being homeless and unemployed in the best way possible of course, but it is still more than a bit daunting.

This thought hit me especially hard tonight, I’ve been in the mountains for 4 days doing some training hikes and tonight I’m sitting here watching television in a nice warm cottage, a fire in the fireplace, more than comfortable. I have my things around me, all of the comforts I could want or need, snacks in the refrigerator, restaurants only minutes away. I can make myself hotter or colder with the flick of a thermostat, have all manner of electricity and hot water at the ready.

Come the middle of December all of that is gone, I will be driving cross country, camping a lot of nights, some of those nights will certainly be rainy and colder than I would like. There will be nights I don’t know where I’ll be sleeping. nights sleeping in the car, I’ll be camping, occasional hotel nights, staying form time to time with friends but there are no absolute set plans. There will be a lot of time where I am alone without internet contact with anyone. I know, first world problems.

If I can be completely honest with you friends at some level this whole thing scares me senseless. And perhaps this is what makes me different, but that is the point. To hide myself away in a nice comfy little cave, in a nice comfy little job doesn’t create growth, doesn’t make me happy. Making myself thoroughly uncomfortable five years ago led to the creation of the Ministry of Happiness, it’s why the image on the site is of Cho Oyu at sunset in the Himalayas, from my last adventure.

It is my hope a book will come out of my next adventure, some more peace, some achievement, and opportunity to spend some quality time with my nieces and nephews. It also will of course leads to things I can’t see or imagine right now, again the point of all this. Overcoming our fears is what makes us stronger, better, helps us grow into the people we hope to be someday. So I’m afraid but I’m pushing forward, getting more ready to go each day. The goal is to keep moving forward and to make happier days my friends
~ Rev Kane