A big part of depression is feeling lonely, even if you are in a room full of a million people. ~ Lily Singh
Good evening my friends, this weekend starts my least favorite time of the year. The “Holiday Season” is without a doubt the time of year I feel the most alone and isolated from the world. It is the time of the year I have to work the hardest to fight off my natural inclination to depressing thoughts. I know where this all comes from, I did that work years ago. Growing up we are all bombarded with the images of the perfect Christmas, the wonderful New Years party. We see images of children opening perfectly wrapped presents that are always exactly what they wanted.
Unfortunately, that was not my experience as a child. The holidays were always super high tension. Drunk relatives getting in arguments, worries about money, not getting the gift you really wanted. Grouchy babysitters who could care less if you were there. It always was the most tense and lonely time of the year. My escape was always to go outside, to walk, hike or even just sit on the porch. But during the holidays it was almost always alternately rainy and cold or just bitter cold. The one shining star in the middle of it were my granny’s peanut butter chocolate drop cookies.
Being someone who is most often alone, through most of the year it’s fine. But because those societal expectations have been driven in so deep, this time of the year it’s just a little harder to stay positive. It’s a little too cold, a little dark, a little too lonely. But life is good for me these days, I have the resources to change my location, to travel to see those I wish too, if I choose to. So these days I mostly focus on spoiling my nieces and nephews and reaching out through this blog to others, who like me, find this time of year kind of tough.
So tonight my holiday kickoff is to start that outreach by reminding all of the rest of you, that while this time of year might be festive and wonderful for you, others around you are smiling and suffering. By no means diminish your own joy, but reach out a little more perhaps than normal, be a little more inclusive in your festivities, extend some extra kindness, give an unexpected gift. Not only will it help them, but it will help you have happier days my friends. ~ Rev Kane