The Ministry of Happiness

Those yuletide-loving, sickly-sweet, nog-sucking cheer mongers! I really don’t like ’em. No, I don’t. ~ The Grinch (Dr. Suess)

Christmas Sucks

It’s that time of year again, my least favorite of all. While I do enjoy giving people meaningful gifts, for the most part I really believe Christmas sucks. I do a post like this every year when the weight of the system finally tanks my mood. I do it so that the other people who struggle this time of year can know that they are not alone in struggling to be happy during the Christmas season. My favorite Christmas movie is Gremlins, as a young man seeing it in the theater, the magnificent Phoebe Cates’ character proclaims she hates Christmas. My twenty year-old self was in love, she was beautiful, talented, we thought alike and unfortunately she was also imaginary.

I have my own reasons for not liking the holiday, not quite as dramatic, but here’s the scene from Gremlins.

This time of year it just all gets to me. It’s a very busy time at work getting fall semester wrapped up and it’s also usually the time of the semester we get a number of student complaints. So the stress of the semester crests, everyone is in a hurry to get a million things done before break, so everyone wants something from you. It’s also the time of year where daylight goes away and we leave work in the dark. It makes it harder for me to exercise, particular to walk outside and get any sunshine. It gets colder, rainier and generally just gloomier. People understandably get tied up in their family and so those of us who don’t have family around, or large circles of friends end up increasingly more isolated. The invitations you get are not much help, there’s not a lot more awkward than being at a family holiday gathering when you’re not family, so while it’s nice to be asked often it’s just easier to decline. So it’s a lonely, dark, cold and depressing time of year for me and frankly more people than you realize. While I try really hard to give good gifts, most other people don’t seem to value that nearly as much. All in all, I look forward to the holiday season ending.

My solution to this has been to eliminate all of those things I don’t like. So this time of year I usually flee to the desert to go camping and hiking. Over the last ten years that has been the Mojave Desert, either Anza Borego State Park or more recently it’s been Valley of Fire State Park. A few days in the desert, where it’s warmer during the day, where I’m out in nature all day, have camp fires at night and where I can sleep in the cold, quiet nights. I love it. There is something special and revitalizing about the desert, bracketed with a couple of days in Las Vegas for good food and meeting with some friends, it makes for a much more palatable Christmas than I used to endure.

That’s how I deal, and here is my plea on behalf of those who don’t find Christmas a warm and wonderful time of year. Please just be cognizant that not everyone loves this time of year. Extend those invitations even if they are always declined, while they likely won’t come, the invitation does mean something. If you have someone in your life who isn’t a big Christmas person, lay off the Grinch bullshit. Think about that video from Gremlins, some of us have really good reasons for not being jolly this time of year, some of us have PTSD around this holiday. Not suggesting you dial back your own merriment even a drop, just don’t hammer folks for not sharing in your yuletide spirit. And have a happy holiday season my friends. ~ Rev Kane