Happy bright suns in a sea of blue

Look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see, and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious. ~ Stephen Hawking

Recently, as you all know I recently spent some time on a whale watching trip in Baja. I’ve always loved being on the water and one of the great things about this trip was that we were out in this beautiful Pacific Ocean lagoon three times a day. Each trip as we were skimming across the water in our panga it was an opportunity for about a half an hour just to enjoy flying across the water. The return run across the lagoon at the end of the day was always my favorite. The sun would be setting, the temperature was warm and the breeze across the water perfectly cooling. Although we were cruising out of the sanctuary there were still whales and dolphins to be seen. Maybe the best part of this time of day, with the sun lower in the sky you would get the sun dappling effect across the water. Sparkling light across the dark blue see, it was really perfect.

One after noon a really amazing thing happened for me, I’m a person who has always loved being on the water and hundreds of times I’ve been cruising across rivers, lakes and the ocean marveling at the light dancing across the water. Never once had I really looked at this phenomenon with a critical eye and this day in Baja after playing with giant whales I finally did. What I realized suddenly was that each flash of light off of the water was really just a single reflection of the sun as a wave crest hit the right angle facing us. It was the simplest and yet most amazing revelation. So I decided to photo some up close.

So just a little reminder tonight of a simple thing, take time to notice the small wonders in life. My observation on the ocean a few weeks ago was a small one but it tapped a bit of wonder for me, something that doesn’t happen nearly enough. It really made me happy to make this simple observation for the first time and even happier to be able to so clearly photograph it. Looking at all of those reflected suns against the blue sea makes me think of laying on my back at night looking at stars, but the suns in the ocean are so much closer, you can almost reach out and touch them, almost. Have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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Annual Bucket List Update

happiness, hiking, appalachian trail
My Polar Bear Selfie

We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open. ~ Jawaharial Nehru

There are two ways to look at bucket lists. The first is to create a list you hope to complete before the end of your life and keep checking off items as you go along. The other way is the way I choose to do it, which has been to create an original list and then periodically update it by taking off things I’ve accomplished and adding in new items. Doing it this way you have to be good with knowing you’ll never complete the list. But I like this approach because it keeps me searching for new cool things to experience. When I do my updates, as well as pulling off of things I’ve already done, I also pull off things that I no longer have an interest in doing. For example, in this update I pulled off seeing Rainbow Mountain in Peru. I pulled it because I’ve learned a few things since I put it on the list. First, it’s not quite as spectacular in reality as it is in post produced photos I’ve seen. Secondly, I’ve come to learn there are a lot of similar mountains all over the world.

This exercise is one I really like doing, it both allows me to reminisce about the things I’ve done and go looking for new ideas.

Over the years I’ve been fortunate to do a lot. I’ve hiked in the high passes of the Himalayas, across Scotland, done a thousand miles on the Appalachian Trail. I’ve traveled to some amazing places, Petra, China, Tibet, Marrakesh, Oaxaca and Burning Man. I’ve written three books, Appalachian Trail Happiness, Otherness and Athena’s Addict. I’ve had some incredible experiences in nature, seeing a Jaguar in Brazil, photographing polar bears in Canada and most recently hugging a whale in Baja.

I’m an intensely curious person and there is so much more I want to do. I think as long as you are searching, learning, growing and finding new adventures, you never truly grow old, no matter how many years you’ve lived. ~ Rev Kane

  1.  See the Great Pyramid at Giza
  2.  Travel to outer space
  3.  Complete the Appalachian Trail
  4.  Hike at least 500 miles on the Pacific Crest Trail
  5.  Go Zorbing
  6.  Hike in the Atlas Mountains in Morocco
  7.  Hike the Overland Track in Australia
  8.  Hike 500km on the Te Araroa trail in New Zealand
  9.  Hike to Machu Pichu
  10.  Hike in Patagonia
  11.  Do a walking tour in Kenya
  12.  Hike at least 500 miles on the Trans-Canada Trail
  13.  Bicycle across the United States
  14.  See Stonehenge
  15.  Walk on the Glaciers of Greenland
  16.  Go to Iceland
  17.  See Mount McKinley
  18.  travel in a submarine
  19.  Kayak the coast of California
  20.  Kayak the Zambezi River
  21.  See mountain Gorillas in the wild
  22.  See an elephant in the wild
  23.  See a lion in the wild
  24.  See a hippo in the wild
  25.  See a right whale in the wild
  26.  See a grizzly bear in the wild
  27.  See a tiger in the wild
  28.  See a snow leopard
  29.  Go on a bigfoot expedition
  30.  Photograph the great migration
  31.  Swim in the Devil’s Pool at Victoria Falls
  32.  See Iguazu Falls in Brazil
  33.  Do a cage dive with Great White Sharks
  34.  See a Rhino in the wild
  35.  Go to Thai Elephant Sanctuary
  36.  Learn to wild forage
  37.  Hike the Muir Trail
  38.  Hike Rim to Rim at the Grand Canyon
  39.  Photograph the Wave in Arizona
  40.  Go to Tonga
  41.  Go to Tuvalu
  42.  Go to the Cook Islands
  43.  Visit Cappadocia, Turkey
  44.  Go to Up Helly Aa
  45.  Go to Angkor Wat
  46.  Go to the Great Barrier Reef
  47.  Visit Australia
  48.  Go to Antarctica
  49.  Visit the Galapagos Islands
  50.  Visit Vietnam
  51.  Go to Carnival in Salvador de Bahia, Brazil
  52.  Surf a sand dune in Fortaleza, Brazil
  53.  Visit Italy
  54.  See the Taj Mahal
  55.  Backpack in India
  56.  Backpack in Thailand
  57.  Go to Bangkok
  58.  Visit Alcatraz
  59.  Visit Norway
  60.  Attend Diwali in India
  61.  Run with the Bulls in Spain
  62.  Visit Cuba
  63.  Take a hot air balloon ride
  64.  Skydive
  65.  Do Peyote
  66.  Do Ayahuasca
  67.  Search for a buried treasure
  68.  Do a century bicycle ride
  69.  Pan for gold
  70.  Go to Timbuktu
  71.  Go to the Louvre Museum
  72.  Go to the Van Gogh Museum
  73.  Climb Kilimanjaro
  74.  On the same day, sunrise from Mt. Whitney, sunrise from Death Valley
  75.  Go to Glacier National Park
  76.  Stay in an underwater hotel
  77.  Swim in a Great Lake
  78.  Learn how to surf
  79.  Take a long distance train trip
  80.  Visit the John Day Fossil Beds
  81.  See an Orca in the wild
  82.  Meet a penguin
  83.  Photograph Antelope Canyon in Arizona
  84.  Run a 5K
  85.  Visit Bhutan
  86.  Photograph the race track in Death Valley
  87.  Go Parasailing
  88.  Learn how to play the saxophone
  89.  Learn Akido
  90.  Publish a book of fiction
  91.  Catch a stage of the Tour De France live
  92.  Swim in Jellyfish Lake – Palau
  93.  Attend the Triple Crown
  94.  Too personal to post
  95.  Hike to Kuang Si Falls in Laos
  96.  Take a boat from Manaus to Fortaleza, Brazil on the Amazon
  97.  Vagabond for at least 3 months
  98.  Create an art prank like fairy houses
  99. Find a meteorite
  100. Swim in Iceland’s Blue Lagoon
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Baja Whale Adventure – Part 3

Sunrise in whale camp

The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. ~ Richard Bach

Over the last two weeks I’ve written part 1 and part 2 about this fabulous journey. While the last two pieces were primarily about the adventure itself and most importantly our interactions with the whales, today I want to talk about the family at the middle of the story of the whales of San Ignacio Lagoon.

Baby Gray Whale (~ 3 weeks old)

My guide on this trip was Tony and he was a great guide who has a really close connection to the whales, we called him the “whale whisperer.” He was an incredibly nice guy and very knowledgeable about the sanctuary, the whales biology and behavior. I was fortunate to have him as a guide and even more so as we got to know him. Tony has a unique connection to the whales of San Ignacio. You see, his grandfather Pacheco started all of this.

Guide Tony, Capt. Tico and apparently a comet

The fisherman in the area had a long contentious relationship with the whales. They considered them a problem that interfered with their fishing each year when they arrived and so they called them the devil fish. One day, Pachecho, had a whale under his pachanga, it would spy hop up on one side than to the other side of his boat. This of course meant he couldn’t fish, finally, bravely, he decided to touch it. He did so briefly and nothing happened, so he reached out again and left his hand on the whale, scratched and rubbed it. To Pacheco it felt like the whale enjoyed the interaction. He returned to the village afterward and told everyone about it and of course no one believed him. He also told an American friend who would eventually bring down his family and have a similar experience. Word of mouth then traveled, this was the early 70’s so it took some time, but eventually people wanted to come interact with the whales. This was how the whale watching business started in San Ignacio and led to the Mexican government in the 80’s turning the lagoon into a whale sanctuary. Pacheco tells his own story much better than I do of course and you can watch him do it in the YouTube video, The Whales of Gold.

I also had the pleasure of meeting Tony’s father Ranalfo, someone who has literally grown up with the whaling business and the whales of San Ignacio. I spent an hour one night before dinner speaking with him about the history of the village, his family and getting a look at his birding life list. This was completely fitting because I had met him the first morning of our arrival as I was looking at an Osprey on some nest platforms the locals had built for them.

Ranalfo in the middle

I felt incredibly honored to have gotten to spend time not just with the whales but with the first family of San Ignacio’s whales, the Mayoral family.

Have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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A Whale Adventure in Baja – Part 2

Follow your passion, be prepared to work hard and sacrifice, and, above all, don’t let anyone limit your dreams. ~ Donovan Bailey

Last week I wrote part 1 of my whale adventure in Baja in the Gray Whale calving grounds two-hours north by plane of Cabo San Lucas. This part will focus around my first whale experience once arriving in Baja, and some really cool history.

We landed on the beach and boated to our island camp. They correctly assumed after being picked up at 6AM, it was now 11:30AM, that we were starving. We had a lovely quick brunch, lox and bagels and sandwiches. After getting settled in our tents we set out on our first whale watch experience in the San Ignacio Lagoon Whale Sanctuary. In the US a typical whale watching experience of three or four hours is considered a great experience if you see six or seven whales.

Between the camp and the sanctuary boundary was about a fifteen minute boat ride. By the time we entered the sanctuary I’d already seen blows from at least four whales. Once entering the sanctuary and slowing down the motor it became really clear how amazing this would be. You see we had incredibly flat water that first day which gave us incredible visibility. Slowly trolling through the sanctuary there were whales in every direction. Pretty quickly we were up close, within about twenty feet of several different whales and I was thrilled.

Now this trip was a bucket list item for me and I had some really specific hopes related to this trip. Of course I wanted to see whales, and see whales up close. But I also really hoped to be close enough to look a Gray Whale in the eye. My next hope was that I would get to touch a Grey Whale and finally, the grand slam for me would be getting to hug a whale. I honestly never thought that would happen, but if I got the rest I’ve be incredibly happy.

We had been in the sanctuary for about twenty minutes when a whale started making a bee line for our boat, our guide Tony said to the captain, “este Loco.” In fact it was Loco, a whale that the guide was very familiar with. Loco came right up to the boat and slid right up beside us. Within a few minutes of showing up I was actually able to reach out an touch a forty foot long, eighty thousand pound Gray Whale.

Hello Loco

What would happen over the next thirty to forty minutes would be one of the greatest experiences of my life. Loco would in fact play with us like a Labrador puppy, he would swim up, spy hop to the boat, then like a puppy does, he would rip his head away, spin around in the water, swim under the boat, bump us around and then do it all over again. It was amazing. Loco spent so much time up next to us that I pet him at least seven or eight times, I got to look him squarely in the eye. At one point, he opened his mouth and I was able to reach in and rub his baleen plates. Our guide leaned up and kissed him at one point and then it happened, he spy hopped right in front of me and I wrapped my arms around and hugged him briefly.

Loco up for a visit

The question I first get is what did it feel like? The skin of the whale was really smooth except where the barnacles were attached. The whale felt like a raw roast, firm but a bit giggly underneath, actually felt quite nice. You could tell Loco enjoyed the interaction it was so content to hold itself in front of us so we could touch him. In order to stay so close he actually had to gently move in the water as the boat was moving in the current.

petting Loco

Getting to look him square in the eye was magnificent. If you’ve ever looked a cow in the eye you can see the kind of vacuous stare of an animal not doing a lot of thinking. It was very different with Loco, you could see him focusing around looking at each of us, this was very much a sentient creature I was connecting with. Rubbing the baleen plates was fun, I was a little tentative reaching in but the whale allowed in and then very slowly and gently closed it’s mouth as it was falling away. My hug was quick but amazing, to connect with a whale at that level was literally a dream come through for me.

Looking Loco in the eye

Loco would in fact come back to our boat two more times briefly in the 90 minutes that we were out on that first trip before swimming off and interacting in a similar fashion with another boat. I would do eight more trips during my three days. No trip would match the first one and I was fine with that, as I told my guide on the way back from the first trip, everything I could have possibly imagine happening had happened with Loco. This doesn’t mean the other eight trips weren’t great. I would be fortunate enough to touch four more whales, and miss touching another three or four by a couple of inches. We would get to see a number of pairs of mothers and young calves, one who even tried and comically failed to breach. I did not realize that Gray Whales breached, but I got to watch a number of whale breaches and they often breach three or four times in a row. We had so many whales spy hop around the boat including at one point three whales spy hopping at the same time all within about fifteen feet of the boat.

On my last trip we had a rhythmically bumpy ride out of the sanctuary. I sat there on the bow of the boat, looking back at the sanctuary. Bouncing along and taking in the amazing beauty around me, the occasional whale or dolphin breaking the surface and it was absolutely magically. It had been a magnificent three days, after nearly three years of the pandemic, of no travel, there, bouncing along on that belt I felt like myself again, the person I’m meant to be, the nomad I’ve always been. More next week. ~ Rev Kane

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A Whale Adventure in Baja – Part 1

We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open. ~ Jawaharial Nehru

I’m a nomad, anyone who has read this blog for any amount of time knows that. As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve always been an addict, travel is without a doubt my strongest addiction these days. It’s been three years since I’ve done any significant travel and it was wonderful breaking out and hitting the road again. A week in Baja with grey whales was the destination.

I was a biology (ecology) major in college and as a senior I took one of my favorite classes, animal behavior. In addition to the academic understandings of basic animal behaviors, we also learned about a lot of cool behaviors. We discussed things like the great migration, grunion runs on the Pacific Coast, all the crazy and amazing ways that animals attract mates. One of the things we talked about in that class back in 1988 was the fact that down in Baja, in the gray whale calving grounds, the whales actually interacted with humans. That in fact, people actually touched the whales who willingly swam up to the small boats they were in. I was fascinated by this story. You see I’m part of the generation of kids that first grew up with the Jacques Cousteau specials. Those specials touched in me in a very deep way, they drove my imagination and growing up I wanted to be a marine biologist.

In particular what fascinated me most were whales and dolphins, while being amazing creatures in almost every way, what really attracted me to them was their intelligence. In terms of brain size and demonstrated intelligence, dolphins may be as smart as humans, whales are similarly believed to be highly intelligent. Of course knowing exactly how that intelligence is utilized is one of the things that scientists continue to study. One of the things that I was interested in. Unfortunately the reality of becoming a marine biologists means a lot of years of college in one of the most competitive fields in biology, as well as difficulty in getting jobs and then when you do, they have a tendency to be low paying. This reality at some point meant that I decided to pursue a slightly different pathway. I have been fortunate enough early in my career to do some marine work. I worked on sustainable fisheries projects and even a project that built a black lipped pearl oyster hatchery in the South Pacific. I also had some great experiences like measuring green sea turtles and literally catching the eggs as they were being released. But whales and dolphins have always held a special place for me and I’ve done many whale watches in a lot of different locations.

So when I was deciding what would be my first adventure since COVID started, it was an easy decision as to what item to pick off of my bucket list. And I decided that it was finally time to go to the gray whale calving grounds in Baja and see if the stories were really true. So I set out for my first time to Cabo San Lucas.

I spent two days in Cabo San Lucas and it was really quite surprising. Although I’ve heard people talk about Cabo many times, I was not expecting what I got. Cabo San Lucas turned out to be an American tourist haven. American tourism is the driving engine of the economy there, as such, everyone who works in any service industry speaks English. Most of the restaurants and shops take American dollars, you can even find ATMs that distribute American Dollars. The place is loaded with America tourists. This is typically not my kind of vacation vibe, but it was the jumping off point for my trip. What I can really positively say about Cabo San Lucas, is that the resorts are lovely, the beaches are lovely and it is a great place to find activities. Whether it’s fishing, diving, snorkeling, sailing, whale watches or even riding a camel on the beach it’s a great place to find almost any kind of activity. For me, it meant the jumping off point for a two-hour Cessna flight up the coast to the whale watching camp I would be staying at for the next four days in San Ignacio Lagoon.

The morning leaving for San Ignacio was an early one, picked up at my hotel at 6AM and at 7AM we arrived to pick up two more passengers. One was Dr. Tony, pictured at the top of the page, he would be the only other guest in my group. Groups can be up to twelve people so we were really fortunate to be in such a small group. The other person joining us was Fabiola who would be working as one of the hostesses in the camp.

It was a beautiful two-hour flight up from Cabo to San Ignacio where we landed on a dirt runway near the beach. We quickly left the plane, had a glass of champagne and jumped into the panga to head to our camp. Pangas are the traditional fishing boats that have been historically used in the lagoon. What I hadn’t realized pre-trip was that our camp was actually located on an island in the the lagoon.

Our camp was located just outside of the borders of the whale sanctuary. This was absolutely a luxury tour, and my very fancy fully carpeted tent was the size of my studio apartment and quite nice with a living room, king sized bed and full bathroom with running water and shower, we also had wifi.

The sanctuary is one of two protected areas that serve as calving and mating grounds for gray whales in lagoons on the central coast of Baja. During the mating and calving season hundreds of whales gather in the lagoon. While I was there, they estimated that there were 150 whales present in the lagoon. By the height of the season there will be over 300 whales in the lagoon. What this means is that you have a very different experience doing a whale watch in San Ignacio than you see stateside.

You see normally in the US, you get on a 30-40 foot boat, or larger, you sail out for a three to four hour cruise and during that time hopefully you see some whales. Often you get to see a couple of groups of humpbacks, if you’re really lucky you get to see one breach (jump out of the water). Occasionally you see some other whales cruising, a pod of dolphins or rarely some Orcas. In San Ignacio we’d often see four or five whales before we even hit the sanctuary. Then on a 90 minute whale watch, you would see 30 or 40 different whales. You’d see at least 10 very close up, and on average at least one or two really close to the panga. Of course, the pangas are only 15 feet long and close to the water. So when whales got up close at times we got to touch them, and many times had whales blow (exhale) all over us, we were that close.

Over the next couple of posts I’ll lay out in more detail the experiences I had during the nine trips I took whale watching in the lagoon, including my experience with Loco, the whale pictured at the top of the post.

Have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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I’ve Always Been an Addict

Selfie with my new friend Loco and the sun in my eyes

Addiction is a tough illness, and recovery from it is a hard but noble path. Men and women who walk that path deserve our support, encouragement, and admiration. ~ Sheldon Whitehouse

Hello friends, I’ve been gone a bit, this maybe the longest quiet spell I’ve had on the blog in the eleven years I’ve been writing. But like previous quiet periods, it was for a good reason, I was preparing, executing and recovering from my first real adventure in three years. I will talk a little more about this at the end of this piece and more to come over the next couple of weeks.

I realized very early in life that I’m a person prone to addiction. It manifested itself in small ways early on. I’ve always been one of those people who could eat the same meal a hundred times in a row if I liked it. When I was young I did get addicted to some good things, I got addicted to reading and read like crazy for years. Once video arcades became a thing, I got addicted to video games and dropped an amazing number of quarters into video games. I got addicted to Dungeons and Dragons for awhile as a teenager, and contrary to popular theories at the time, I didn’t turn into a sword wielding serial killer.

My addictive personality took a significant darker turn for me around 18 when I first went to college. I got addicted to alcohol and drugs and spent two years loaded. It took a pretty significant toll on my life and probably the most destructive thing was that it lead me into bouts of depression for the next ten years while I got clean and sober and dealt with the underlying issues of both the depression and the addictions.

While I did a lot of work in my thirties and forties to get my head straight and become a happier person. The core nature of my addictive personality has not changed, I’ve been addicted to a lot of things. I’m a lifelong pizza and Coca-cola addict, I’ve been addicted to love (cue Robert Palmer) in particular I’ve been Athena’s Addict for nearly 20 years, which is also the title of my second book of poetry. But without a doubt my biggest lifelong addiction has been travel and adventure.

With the pandemic happening shortly after I’d taken my latest job I’ve been unable to travel. It’s been almost three years since I did any type of travel that I would consider adventure. The pandemic has been hard on all of us for different reasons. For me, it’s felt like this nomad and gypsy was trapped in a cage. It wore me down and honestly killed my motivation for most things, it dulled my soul and made me basically numb. I was very much existing in a low-level state which is not who I am. I don’t think it really hit me how bad it had become until I was packing for my most recent trip.

Boarding that plane to Los Cabos was like emerging from being underwater, holding my breath and finally surfacing to get that first huge gulp of air. I’m not sure I can convey how much I love every part of an adventure. I love the planning, I love the escape, I love the madness that always ensues at some point in the process. I love solving the problems that arise, rolling with things in a way this control freak doesn’t embrace at any other point in his life. I love who I am on the road, I’m freer, easier and friendlier. My disdain for social situations nearly disappears and I’m excited to meet new people, I love learning about and experiencing new cultures.

Most of all I love doing things that I have dreamed of. I’ve known about the human gray whale interactions that occur in San Ignacio lagoon for almost thirty years. It’s been on my bucket list ever since to visit those calving grounds. What occurred last week in Baja literally blew my mind, met every expectation and woke me up from my pandemic coma. I literally hugged an 80,000 pound, 40 foot long whale!

That’s great in some ways and tough in one other. Giving an addict a taste of his preferred drug makes him crave that drug and want it all of the time. I’ve been back for four days and all I can think about is what’s next? As close as I am to retiring from my current gig, I know I’ll be road bound again soon, and maybe even for a big adventure. I’m starting to think that a year from now, I might just find my feet on a long distance trail again.

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A Moment for Mindfulness

Thich nhat hanh, mindfulness

Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Tonight a simple post in honor of an incredible man, Thich Nhat Hanh. A lifelong Vietnamese Buddhist monk, Nhat Hanh, who wrote over 130 books is perhaps the single most important figure in the mindfulness movement in the United States. His books have been incredibly popular in the United States and have made a great impact on the interest of Buddhist philosophy and particularly mindfulness. I have written about him and mindfulness before, so tonight I will bring back some of these pieces in an effort to honor a truly great man.

The words of Thich Nhat Hanh

Happiness Resources: Mindfulness

A mindfulness day as way to happiness

The benefits of meditation

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Let’s all lose weight in 2022!

Let’s all lose weight in 2022! The weight I’m talking about is not the pounds around your mid-section but the emotional weight we all carry. These are incredibly stressful times, so it’s time to do some of the things you need to do to lessen the emotional baggage you are carrying, which in turn will reduce the stress your facing and in fact, less stress may make it easier to lose those pounds as well.

The first step in this process is really looking at yourself, not with the blinders we typically wear, but from the perspective of others. So take a look and think about what relationships in your life are causing you the greatest amount of stress. Those are the relationships that you need to cut down or lose to reduce your emotional weight.

Now I know this can be hard, very often the relationships that cause us the greatest stress are relationships that we feel obligated to be in. Typically this means it’s a relative, a long-time friend, or someone you’re romantically involved with. The very act of doing something about these types of relationships can be stressful in itself, however the net effect will be lower stress in your life.

The first step, particularly with relationships that you feel obligated to continue, is to speak up and let the person know that there is tension. It’s imperative to clearly and calmly share your feelings, let the person know how you feel and what is bothering you about the relationship. Your first hope should always be that having an honest conversation can lead to repairing the relationship to a point that it isn’t as stressful.

It’s important to remember that you and your feelings matter, you have the absolute right and responsibility to take care of yourself first. So if the relationships can’t be improved or repaired it may be time to move on from them. My best advice here is the way you end anything, be clear, unambiguous and emphasize that this is what is best for you and that has to be your priority. Try to not be angry and emotional when you make that statement and if you’ve made a good faith effort to make things better, than don’t get guilted into giving people additional chances to change.

Sometimes the relationships, work or other stressors in your life are difficult to deal with, that’s when it’s time to get help. There is no shame in getting help, the stigma around therapy and counseling has really diminished in recent years. Help has also become exceedingly accessible, there are traditional services, but also apps and therapy by phone and online and they’ve become much more affordable.

Finally, a reminder we’ve made here many times, that exercise can help reduce stress. While it won’t fix your relationships, exercise does reduce the hormones in your body that are caused by stress.

So let’s all make a concerted effort this year to lose some emotional weight, I promise it will lead to happier days my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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2022 is going to be a big year

I believe that 2022 is going to be a big year, big good, big bad is of course the question, but I believe big never the less. The first thing to acknowledge of course is that at the moment we are seeing the highest umber of COVID infections since the pandemic began two years ago. Happily, due to vaccines and better treatments, hospitalizations and particularly deaths have not similarly spiked. We still are looking at 1500 deaths a day, which is horrible, but that number has not spiked the same way cases have, one day recently we had 1,000,000 positive COVID results in one day. However in particularly bad spots hospitalizations have risen high enough to impact the ability for hospitals to function and this is still a problem.

As such of course a lot of us are beginning to once again have significant work disruptions. My college is shifting to virtual meetings this week and has an emergency board meeting this Tuesday night to see if we will be going to full virtual instruction as well. So regardless of what is decided, we are looking at another chaotic start to another semester in the pandemic era. I’ve already had more staff report positives for them or their families since January 3rd, than I did all of last semester.

But 2022 is the year where I will hit the number of service years I need to both reset my retirement salary level and my years of service. Which of course means that this year is a year that I can make a major career change until either I hit medicare age or universal health insurance comes to America.

It’s also already been a huge year on a personal front. I met someone nearly twenty years ago who undoubtedly will be the love of my life. That our relationship was incredibly complicated, utterly non-traditional, amazingly intense and undefinable even to us is more than accurate. That we have a connection to each other than neither of us can explain or escape is also more than accurate. But too much time, distance, uncertainty and complications has drove a wedge between us over the last few years. And in 2022 it has all come crashing down and we’ve said goodbye, big year.

But 2022 is also shaping up to be a year of milestones. I’ve quite accidentally bounced into setting an initial pace of bucket list items each month, so what the hell, let’s see if we can’t go 12 for 12 this year. Yesterday I completed my pistol training safety course that both qualified me for my license to purchase in the state of California but also my concealed weapons permit that’s good in 25 states. It was an interesting experience, while I grew up hunting and shooting rifles and shotguns, I’d never fired a pistol before yesterday. Within the training I was able to handle and fire .22, .38, .40 and .45 caliber pistols. Using firearms is always very intense and while we were not shooting over a lot distance, I was happy to see that I had some proficiency including shooting a bullseye on my very first shot with a .45 caliber pistol.

In February, as I’ve mentioned in a recent post, I’ll be heading to Mexico to have an up close grey whale experience in the San Ignacio Lagoon in the Sea of Cortez. So the question becomes, what’s up for March, I’ll have to get back to my bucket list and see what I can check off next. But of course I’m always happy to hear suggestions from you my friends, so feel free to make some recommendations in the comments.

May your 2022 also be big year with lots of happiness for you my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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Happy World Introvert Day

Yes, in our over commercialized world everyday is some kind of day like world day old bagel day. Literally every single day has a cause or recognition including today January 2nd. Today is four national days including national: buffet; cream puff; personal trainer awareness and national science fiction day. But seeing a post earlier today on Twitter wishing everyone a happy world introvert day of course struck a chord with me.

I’m a huge introvert and that part of me has grown over the years. I took my first Meyers-Briggs assessment when I was 18 or 19. At that time I tested as a mild introvert, I would take the test a number of times over the next 10-15 years and each time my introvert score got larger until the point that the last couple of times that I took the test I topped out on the introvert scale.

Being an introvert is just one more thing that makes me feel like a damn alien on this planet. Introverts are generally misunderstood. People actually often argue with me when I tell them I’m an introvert. You see most folks think that all introverts are weird, socially awkward loners who are unable to socialize or speak in public. Since I do pubic speaking and interact well in crowds it confuses people.

I think the best way I’ve ever heard how to define the difference between introverts and extroverts, is that it is how people charge their batteries. Extroverts gain energy by being around and interacting with others. Introverts charge their batteries by being alone. So as an introvert I can be social, can interact with people but it drains me. I work in a job that is all about interacting with people, so at the end of the day I need time alone. This has been a problem in relationships with women who are not introverts. Often they don’t understand this need and feel that I’m avoiding them, and this has happened throughout my life with all kinds of people who are close to me.

So today lots of love to my fellow introverts out there in the world, my wish for you is that today you find time alone with a good book, a cup of your favorite beverage and no interruptions from the world of people.

Everyone is different, we all have different needs in order to be happy. We know what those needs are and you don’t do yourself, or anyone around you an good if you don’t get those needs met. So if you’re an introvert find some time alone, if you’re an extrovert find a way to interact with people, if running makes you happy run, if it’s baking, bake and BTW I’m partial to oatmeal chocolate chip cookies if you’re looking for baking ideas. Life is short, too short not to do what you need to do to be happy so go out there and get it.

~ Rev Kane

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