The importance of Self-Reliance and Resilience

People who truly understand what is meant by self-reliance know they must live their lives by ethics rather than rules. ~ Wayne Dyer

I believe in Karma

I believe in Karma, it makes sense to me, not just in a meta-physical and spiritual way, but quite simply on physics terms.  You see one of Newton’s laws of physics is that every action has an equal and opposite reaction.  Simply demonstrated, if you create a wave in a puddle, a lake, or even an ocean, the wave, once it reaches the opposite shore will bounce off of that edge and return.  So for every wave you push away, you get one coming back at you.

In terms of our lives we must understand that we are constantly creating waves.  And quite simply the type of things you push out into the world, are likely to be the types of things that return to you.  So if you push out anger, mistrust, dishonesty and pain, what comes back has a tendency to not be pleasant.  The opposite of course, if you put forth positivity, kindness, compassion and love, you’re like to get back the same in return.

Now the thing that usually frustrates people in terms of Karma is the time it takes for the wheel to come full circle.  People see others who put out so much negativity and then seemingly never suffer the consequences.  The timing of Karma can seem fickle, but we must remember it takes time for the waves to return and almost never on our schedule.

And even if you put out good things, it doesn’t mean that your life will always be perfect.  Bad things still happen to good people, no matter how kind or wonderful.  It’s for that reason that you must learn to be self-reliant and resilient.  I recently did a post on the ways to be resilient, so I’ll talk mostly tonight about self-reliance.

What is Self-Reliance?

What I mean by self-reliance, is the ability to handle your own issues and problems and to have the skills to bravely move forward as an independent person.  This isn’t to say there aren’t times when we all need help.  But it’s really important to have the skills to solve your own problems whenever possible.  Like almost every skill, the more you use it, the move confidence you’ll have, the bigger the issues you’ll be able to resolve.  At the core of it is your will.  You have to willing to be able to try to solve your own issues and problems.   If you are unable, then you should reach out to others for help.  Too many people assume they are unable and immediately look to others.  Of course some of us err the other way as well, never for asking for help even when they should.

Being self-reliant means you think for yourself, you don’t assume that what others say or do is what you should say or do.  You make up your own mind, go your own way and be your own person.  You take care of your responsibilities and issues, and only when truly necessary do you ask for help.  You might ask, why?  Why wouldn’t I always rely on the people who care about me to help me with all of my issues, decisions and desires.  The answer is simple, they have their own lives as well, and quite frankly if you always need their help eventually you will ask too much.  Asking less, and when it’s only truly necessary, will garner goodwill and make people more willing to help when you truly need it.

How do you become more Self-Reliant?

There’s a very good article on self-reliance in Positive Psychology.  The article talks about the core ideas of self-reliance as well as the skills needed and how to develop them.  The true core of self-reliance comes from knowing yourself and having a true set of ethics and rules that you live by.  Possessing, understanding and living by a set of core values gives you a foundation from which to build self-reliance on.  As you do that, it will be easier to ask questions like, why does everyone believe that?  Why should I?  It will give you the foundation and the strength upon which to build an independent, and I believe, a happier life.  And I believe this because people who understand and live by a set of core values, who are independent and self-reliant, are less prone to fear and worry.  And less fear and worry lead to happier days my friends. ~ Rev Kane