Happiness and Regret

Happiness and Regret

resize dawn

To be able to look back upon one’s life in satisfaction, is to live twice.               ~ Kahlil Gibran

A list has been flying around the internet from a nurse who does end of life care.  She listed what she recalled the most common regrets that people had at the end of their lives.  This was the list.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard. (“This came from every male patient that I nursed,” Ware wrote).

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Many of these are themes that we have touched on in this blog and I think each are incredibly significant in our life and lead to number 5, letting yourself be happier.

1.  This is hard, to live a life that is true to yourself, you by default must be somewhat selfish.  However if you are going to be happy, it is a necessity that you work to approach this goal.

2.  This is a problem for most Americans, there have been a rash of articles lately relaying that Americans are granted the least amount of vacation time in the Western world and are very worried about taking what time they have.  This is something you must change in your life and yes boss, I’m talking to you as well.

3.  Early in my life this was a problem for me, I was someone who very significantly bottled up his emotions and didn’t express his feelings.  This left me angry, which led me to drugs and alcohol and a very out of control and dangerous portion of my life.  I was one of the lucky ones, I hit rock-bottom quickly and was able to use that crash to put my life back together, a difficult process but one that has paid innumerable benefits in my life and brought me to where I am today.

4.  Our lives get in the way, we lose people and I will never advocate hanging on to people who don’t respond to your calls and e-mails.  However, reach out and try, many times it will be a brief conversation and people will fade away again. But some, some will hang on and reconnect and fill holes in your life, take the time and reach out.  My best advice on this front and I’m half the way done myself and need to finish, is to write the really important friends a letter and tell them how important they are to you.  I’d love to take credit for the idea but Neil Young beat me too it and the lyrics are below:

“One Of These Days”

One of these days,
I’m gonna sit down and write a long letter
To all the good friends I’ve known
And I’m gonna try
And thank them all for the good times together.
Though so apart we’ve grown.

One of these days,
I’m gonna sit down and write a long letter
To all the good friends I’ve known
One of these days,
one of these days,
one of these days,
And it won’t be long, it won’t be long.

And I’m gonna thank,
That old country fiddler
And all those rough boys Who play that rock ‘n’ roll
I never tried to burn any bridges
Though I know I let some good things go.

Chorus

From down in L.A.
All the way to Nashville,
From New York City
To my Canadian prairie home
My friends are scattered Like leaves from an old maple.
Some are weak, some are strong.

5. LET YOURSELF BE HAPPIER!!!!!!!  The world can be a horrible and dark place, we live and die in the end alone.  The hours between our birth and death are far too short to be miserable.  There is unimaginable beauty in the world, there are things that you can do that no one else has ever done, places you can go that will blow your mind and experiences that will melt your heart. Find and experience all of them, and take a moment, even during your most terrible hours and days and think about these things and smile.  Allow yourself to be happier! ~ Rev Kane

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

Happiness & Gratitude for the small things

Friends, Joy, Gratitude & Transition

Quotes about Gratitude, Happiness & Kindness

Happiness & the Benefits of Gratitude

Videos: Inspiration, Kindness & Gratitude

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Thoughts on friendship by the Dalai Lama

Thoughts on friendship by the Dalai Lama

hands

Friends, genuine friends, are attracted by a warm heart, not money, not power. A genuine friend considers you as just another human being, as a brother or sister, and shows affection on that level, regardless of whether you are rich or poor, or in a high position; that is a genuine friend. ~ Dalai Lama

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Dalai Lama on the kindness of others

The Dalai Lama on the kindness of others

kindness

It is important to reflect on the kindness of others. Every aspect of our present well-being is due to others’ hard work. The buildings we live and work in, the roads we travel, the clothes we wear, and the food we eat, are all provided by others. None of them would exist but for the kindness of so many people unknown to us. ~ Dalai Lama

Posted in Dalai Lama | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Happiness Resources on the International Day of Happiness

Happiness Resources on the International Day of Happiness

Today is The International Day of Happiness, so enjoy some happiness resources a little sunshine and finally an Irish Blessing to help you have a happy day  ~ Rev Kane

hap 2

13 experts on the pursuit of joy

A selection of TED talks on Happiness 

This is interesting, The World Database of Happiness 

An Irish Blessing ~ Author Unknown

May the blessings of light be upon you,
Light without and light within.
And in all your comings and goings,
May you ever have a kindly greeting
From them you meet along the road.

 

Posted in happiness resources | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Happiness, Travel & Experience

Happiness, Travel & Experience

Rev Kane goin native in the Scottish Highlands

Rev Kane goin native in the Scottish Highlands

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost. ~H. Jackson Browne

Today I’d like to talk about experience and happiness. We can talk about how we can be happier, the actions we need to take, even how our thoughts can drive our actions. But in the end we have to take action on our thoughts in order to make ourselves happier. In the past we have talked about being grateful for what we have but that is not enough, how have you shown your gratitude? We have talked about pushing those who are negative out of your life, but what have you done to make this happen? Our actions truly do speak louder than words, but taking action isn’t easy. How do you get the strength to take the actions you need to so that you can be happier?

The most common way is necessity, when something is so horrible that you can no longer abide it, you’ll do what you have to do to make the situation better. However most of us are not in that position, we are trying to be happier and if we don’t take action we’ll just be less happy. To me the best way to gain the strength to make changes is through experience and particularly through travel.

Traveling is a way to encounter different cultures and be exposed to a different way of thinking. I have been very fortunate in my life to have traveled globally, to have seen cultures in South and Central America and Asia, but it isn’t necessary to travel abroad. Having been to all 50 states and having lived in several of them, I can tell you that just traveling around this magnificent country can get you the experience you need.

New experiences give us a new way to see how things are done, a new way to think about the world. Showing us that difference and therefore that change is possible, have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery while on a detour. ~Author Unknown

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

Happiness and the Benefits of Gratitude

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Happiness is a Choice

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Happiness and the immensity of it all

Happiness and the immensity of it all

I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires. ~ Kahlil Gibran

the world

So the other day I got a really interesting note from a friend who also happens to be a follower of the Church of Abnormal Acceptance and the Ministry of Happiness.   She went on a bit of a rant, not much of an oddity for my friend if you know her, in fact her rants kind of make me smile.  They come from a really great place because my friend Becky is all heart and so she comes at the world that way.  This makes her one of the most loving and caring people you can imagine, but of course when she gets hurt she feels it with her whole being.

What got her rant started on this particular night is the immensity of it all.  The world can be a really horrifying and incomprehensibly terrible thing.  There are sooooo many problems in this world, poverty, starvation, global climate change, the way we treat animals, the way we treat each other, don’t even get me started on US politics.  The thing is these things and many, many more will always be there, we’ll never live in a perfect world.

So we have to find ways, not to ignore all of it, but to address the things we can.  We need to address the problems closest to us, the problems we can impact, that we can handle.  If everyone just made their individual worlds a little better, a little happier then maybe we’d be a lot closer to that perfect world.  Have a wonderful and happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tuesday has got to be better than Monday

Tuesday has got to be better than Monday

monday

Seems like a lot of folks had a hard Monday so to quote a friend, “Tuesday has to be better than Monday, it’s a very low bar.”  So here’s hoping Tuesday brings you more happiness than Monday and a little wisdom from the Dalai Lama and have a happy day my friends  ~ Rev Kane

Dalai Lama:  For the rest of your life to be as meaningful as possible, engage in spiritual practice if you can. It is nothing more than acting out of concern for others. If you practice sincerely and with persistence, little by little, step by step you will gradually reorder your habits and attitudes so as to think less about your own narrow concerns and more about others’ – and thereby find peace and happiness yourself.

Posted in Dalai Lama, personal happiness | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Happiness & Gardening

Happiness & Gardening

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”  ~ Jack Kerouac

garden 2

How do you know when you are truly doing something you are passionate about?  For me it is that time slows down, the wheels in your mind slow down and the normal concerns of the day don’t enter your brain.  You become completely and totally mindful and in the moment, nothing else exists but what you are doing at that second.

One of the things that I am truly passionate about is gardening.  I can spend an entire day turning over earth, planting, weeding, building fences and tending plants.  Hell, and apologies to my Buddhist friends, I can even be mindful of killing slugs.  Today happily was one of those amazing days, the sun was shining and I spent hours building a fence and planting.  It was a truly a happy day for me my friends.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if our jobs made us feel that way every day?  Well that is one of the things I’m personally working on, I hope you are having more success on that path my friends and have a happy day of your own.  ~ Rev Kane

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

Happiness and the Benefits of Gratitude

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Happiness is a Choice

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Dalai Lama on Education & Money

The Dalai Lama on Education & Money as a source of Happiness

dalai lama

Education

We have to think and see how we can fundamentally change our education system so that we can train people to develop warm-heartedness early on in order to create a healthier society. I don’t mean we need to change the whole system, just improve it. We need to encourage an understanding that inner peace comes from relying on human values like, love, compassion, tolerance and honesty, and that peace in the world relies on individuals finding inner peace.

Money as a source of Happiness

These days, in our materialistic culture, many people are led to believe that money is the ultimate source of happiness. Consequently, when they don’t have enough of it they feel let down. Therefore, it is important to let people know that they have the source of contentment and happiness within themselves, and that it is related to nurturing our natural inner values.

Posted in Dalai Lama | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The words of the Dalai Lama

The words of the Dalai Lama

So tonight a collection of the wisdom of the Dalai Lama, enjoy ~ Rev Kane

WARM HEARTEDNESS

The ultimate source of a happy life is warm-heartedness. This means extending to others the kind of concern we have for ourselves. On a simple level we find that if we have a compassionate heart we naturally have more friends. And scientists today are discovering that while anger and hatred eat into our immune system, warm-heartedness and compassion are good for our health.

INNER PEACE

It is clear that inner peace is the principal cause of happiness. We can observe this in our daily lives. On days when we are calm and happy, even if difficulties arise or we fall victim to a mishap, we take it well, it doesn’t bother us unduly. But on days when we feel sad or have lost our usual calmness, the least little annoyance will take on enormous proportions and be deeply upsetting to us.

ANGER

If your mind is dominated by anger, you will lose the greatest part of your human intelligence-wisdom that is the ability to discern between good and evil. Anger is one of the greatest problems that we have to face in the world today. In the course of our daily human relations, if we speak straight forwardly and in a reasoned way, anger is not necessary. Any point of difference can be discussed. Whenever we cannot justify ourselves through reason, that is when anger rises. It is when reason ends that anger begins. In my experience, even if anger gives us the strength to reach or to respond in the event of conflict, the energy it gives us is blind and difficult to control. Anger is a sign of weakness.

OUTLOOK

Our feeling of dissatisfaction, unhappiness, loss of hope and so forth are in fact related to all phenomena. If we do not adopt the right outlook, it is possible that anything and everything could cause us frustration. Yet phenomena are part of reality and we are subject to the laws of existence. So this leaves us with only one option: to change our own attitude. By bringing about a change in our outlook towards things and events, all phenomena can become friends or sources of happiness, instead of becoming enemies or sources of frustration.

UNIVERSAL RESPONSIBILITY

I believe that to meet the challenge of the next century all human beings will have to develop a greater sense of universal responsibility. Each of us must learn to work not just for his or her own self, family or nation, but for the benefit of all mankind. It is very old-fashioned to think in terms of my nation, or my country, Universal Responsibility is the real key to human survival.

 

 

Posted in Dalai Lama | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment