Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you. – Bill Murray
Happiness is Pizzafest
As I’ve mentioned here on the blog I turn 60 very soon and as my birthday is quickly coming upon me I’ve ramped up the celebratory activities. I turned 40 at my first Burning Man Festival, and I had initially thought I’d turn 60 at Burning Man but decided not to go this year. I turned 50 while hiking on the Appalachian Trail and if things work out I’ll be out there again this spring. My 60th birthday will not be as momentous but probably more meaningful. I’ve decided to make it a more mellow affair connected with people I care about and spread out over about a month.
In reverse order, I’ll be on the East Coast for a week to see family and friends and spend a few days at the beach in Cape Cod. On the dates around my birthday I’ll be staying at a very nice hotel for a few days and enjoying the benefits of their spa. And later this week two very good friends are coming into town to do a little walking and eating tour of San Francisco.
But the first event I did close to my birthday was to attend Pizzafest in San Francisco. Technically the event is the San Francisco Beer, Bagel and Pizza Fest. I was alerted to the event by good friends from Las Vegas who were coming in for the event and a visit. So I got to kick off my birthday celebration surrounded by good friends and great pizza on a magnificently sunny day in San Francisco.
The event was great if not a bit disorganized. But there were dozens of pizza places represented, a half-dozen bagel shops and a really nice beer garden.
I really don’t drink, and I’m not filling up on bagels at a pizza fest, so I ate a lot of pizza. I will say, I didn’t have a bad slice. If you’ve read my Pizza Page, you’ll see my reviews for NY slices in San Francisco. I am happy to say that the best slice in San Francisco, Gioia Pizzeria was there. I had a wonderful talk with the owners and they came loaded for bear with some great pies.
Right next to Gioia was my favorite discovery of the day Peace of Pizza from Livermore. Not only was the pizza fantastic but they were just excellent and fun people to chat with. If you’re in the Livermore area hit up there website and get a pie from them.
The festival was a blast and a great way to kick off my birthday celebration, thanks to Leanne and John for providing great company.
Enjoy the gallery below and have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane
Bob Haas, then chairman of Levi’s said that he wanted it to feel like a well-worn pair of blue jeans. And that’s what we tried to do —it’s off the cuff, never symmetrical, it’s easy-going and relaxed. ~ Architect Bill Valentine
Happy Little Secret Spot: Levi’s Plaza
I love secret little spots, this spot, Levi’s Plaza, doesn’t technically qualify as that, it’s more of an overlooked spot, at least on the weekends. I will absolutely do a full post on this soon, but I guess it’s time to go public that I’m planning on once again attempting to thru-hike the Appalachian Trail again in March/April 2025. If you want to know more about my last attempt you can always search the Appalachian Trail on search function for this blog, or hell, just read the book I wrote about it, Appalachian Trail Happiness, available in paperback or on Kindle via Amazon. Or if you want a signed signed paperback copy from me you can reach out at HappinessKane@aol.com.
As part of my early training to return to the trail I walk in the city of San Francisco nearly every weekend. Why not hike the myriad of local hiking trails you ask? Mostly because I hate them, especially on the weekends. The trails here, while nice, are way too crowded for me to enjoy. You see another hiker or group every couple of minutes, every third hiker has a dog off leash regardless of the regulations and every fifth hiker is graciously sharing with everyone their favorite music with everyone via their shiny new Bluetooth speaker. Throw in dealing with traffic in the Bay Area and I’d rather walk in the city and reward myself with a good pizza or something at one of the city’s many really good food options. The nice thing about San Francisco in terms of urban hiking, is there are no shortage of serious hills to walk up and down as well as miles of interesting neighborhoods to walk through.
Levi’s Plaza
The site was originally known as Frederick Griffing’s wharf. Eventually, the land was built up and the wharf was buried along with Frederick Griffing’s ship. When Levi’s Plaza was under construction, the buried ship was rediscovered. The site is adjacent to the headquarters for Levi Strauss Jeans and is part of the Levi’s Corporate Plaza.
It’s not hard to find, but easily overlooked, it actually sits right on the Embarcadero near the Exploratorium but on the opposite side of the Embarcadero. It’s a beautiful little park and because I really seem to get bored walking the stretch between Fisherman’s Wharf and the Ferry Building and it’s a great break during that walk.
It’s important to have little places of peace and solace, little hideaways that you can slip into from time to time to relax and recharge. This is one little place I have in the city, I hope you all have those places for yourself, they’re important. Here are a few images from the park.
That best portion of a man’s life, his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love. ~ William Wordsworth
Today I was driving and was craving a milkshake, I behaved myself and didn’t give into the craving. However it brought back a great memory of a simple kindness. There was a restaurant called the Dutch Treat that we would occasionally eat at, it was the one thing that my dad and I ever did together that doesn’t have a bad memory attached to it. We would stop there while out hunting or if we working together. Often I would get a vanilla milkshake with my meal. The waitresses there were always very kind to me and they’d always overload the metal mixing cup for the milkshake. That way, after they poured the milkshake, they could leave the metal cup which meant I got a milkshake and a half. It was a small thing but it always made me really happy.
This memory got me thinking about small acts of kindness and how important they can be. When I was in junior high my family took a trip over the summer and I missed the first couple of days of school. At that time I never bought school lunch, I brought a sandwich every day and would always buy a carton of milk at lunch. So, like the year before, I dropped the dime that first day and the lady gave me my milk. This went on, as expected and as normal for at least a month. Then one day my friend offered to get my milk for me, I gave him a dime and he stood there. Milk is fifteen cents! He was correct and I went to the lunch lady and asked her about it. She had been paying the extra nickel the whole time, when I asked why she said she wasn’t sure I had the other nickel and she didn’t want me to be embarrassed. It was a small amount of money but a huge gesture on her part.
The absolute master of the small kindnesses was my granny. I’m sure that’s true for a lot of us. And I’m not just talking about when I was a little kid. My granny always sent all of her grandchildren a holiday card for every holiday. Hell, I think I even got a Arbor Day card once. She was also absolutely clairvoyant in her small gifts. When I was in grad school, they paid us pitifully, I think I got $800 a month, student loans and part-time gigs filled in the rest. However, there were times when I was flat broke while waiting for a loan disbursement or a pay check. As a retiree on a fixed income, she didn’t have a lot of money but it seemed every time I was in that situation and went to the mailbox there was a card and a ten or twenty dollar bill in the envelope with a note. Get a beer and a burger on your granny. She was amazing and I miss her every day.
The person I’m named for, my Uncle Mikey (actually my grandfather’s cousin), was the first person I remember who understood the significance of the small kindness and gift. As a small child I remember every time he came over, climbing in his lap and giving him a hug and then searching his shirt pocket, because there was always a piece of bubble gum or candy there. My paternal grandfather also had this tradition, every time he’d come off of the train from New York City, he always had a bag of M&M’s for me.
I try and keep this tradition alive, especially for my littlest nieces and nephews. Every time I visit, I always have presents, small Lego sets, sunglasses, hats, etc…always just some small present, a tiny bit of happiness. Today I was reminded of how powerful that idea is to people. My brother messaged me, my niece and nephews wanted him to send me a little gift, a video that thought I would like. It was a Norwegian dude with a big red beard, who had found a weird stick and was sending a nod out to the stick review community (yes, this is a thing on Instagram- Stick Nation with 1.6 Million followers) and then he leapt into a lake screaming about Valhalla. I was thrilled and happy to get this little gift, but I am also a little concerned about what it says about how my niece and nephews view me.
So my friends, find a way to gift a little gift, or a small kindness today. You’ll make someone else happier, but it will also help you have a happier day. ~ Rev Kane
San Francisco itself is art… every block is a short story, every hill a novel. Every home a poem, every dweller within immortal. That is the whole truth. ~ William Saroyan
So San Francisco has been on social media in large amounts recently, it’s become a real target of the right leaning media and now with Kamala Harris as the presumptive Democratic Presidential Nominee, it’s even more in their cross-hairs. This has led to a number of questions from friends around the country asking me, how bad is it in San Francisco?
I walk the city of San Francisco almost every weekend. So I’ve decided for this week’s post to talk a little bit about the city I spend so much time in. I love San Francisco, it’s an amazing city both to visit and to live in. Let’s start by talking about the issues that people love to talk about.
Crime: Property crime in the form of car break-ins is an issue, if you live here you know not to leave valuables in plain sight in your car. Not sure it’s worse than any other large city but it’s definitely a thing. In terms of violent crime you are basically living in the safest time in America, or very near so, in your entire life so it’s not anything to be overly concerned about.
BART is dangerous: It’s funny, people in NY incessantly bitch about the subway system, people in SF talk about how amazing it is and how dangerous BART is for them. BART is too expensive, particularly compared to the NY subway. The NY subway also has better city-wide coverage. But BART is fine, it moves you along through a specific part of the city but has a feature of being a regional service serving every from SFO to the East Bay. Yes, there are certain stations that are more dangerous than others, like on any mass transit system. But I have had very few problems on BART in San Francisco beyond some encounters with a couple of mentally ill folks and those were a little nerve-wracking, but nothing ever happened, nor have I ever seen any violence on BART, can’t say the same on the NY subway, especially in 80’s when I was growing up in NY.
Homeless People: Yes, San Francisco has a huge population of unhoused people living on the streets. It always has and for good reason, it’s a completely moderate climate. If you are unhoused, you want to be in a city that has a favorable climate both environmentally and politically. In California, living in places like Redding or Sacramento in the summer where it can be frequently over one-hundred degrees and stays hot at night is not a good place to live on the street. Likewise, in the winter places that get at or below freezing during winter nights is also unfavorable. San Francisco rarely breaks eighty degrees in the summer with nights in the 50’s and 60’s, it rarely goes below freezing in winter. Additionally, it’s a city that politically trends very liberal and so is a city that provides a large level of support to homeless, addicted and people with mental health issues. All of this makes it a place that attracts homeless people.
I know a lot of people get afraid when they see the homeless and their encampments and yes, you will encounter mentally ill people, might see an addict shooting drugs and might even see some human feces. But if you listen to social media that is the picture of the entire city, addicts and homeless shooting up and shitting on the streets everywhere. It’s just not reality. As with any city, there are areas that have more homeless, there are areas that are less safe, San Francisco has these as well, and I walk those areas with regularity. The simple fact is, the good far outweighs the bad in San Francisco. So let’s talk about the good.
First this city has amazing weather. It’s never incredibly cold in the winter, it doesn’t snow here. The spring and summers can go from cool to warm from the 50’s and 60’s up to at the hottest the 80’s. The fall is actually the warmest time of year when you are more likely to find warm days in the 80’s.
The sights are incredible! You have one of the world’s most iconic bridges, the Golden Gate, you have the Bay Bridge, Alcatraz and the bay itself. Coit Tower and the Transamerica Pyramid are in the picture above. The Embarcadero and Fisherman’s Wharf are huge tourists area, Golden Gate Park is 200 acres larger than Central Park in New York City and absolutely incredible. History buffs are in heaven in San Francisco, the city’s history ranging from the gold rush and great quake through the hippy era in the 60’s is broadly on display.
The art and culture is fantastic, Chinatown, Japantown, the Mission District, the Castro, Haight/Ashbury and the Marina all are loaded with deep and fascinating locations and experiences. There are over 80 museums in San Francisco but those are the official sites. San Francisco is also a city full of incredible street art both murals and graffiti. There’s so much tiny hidden history all over the city from the painted ladies houses that showed up in the opening shot of full house, to the house where the Grateful Dead were formed to soooooo much more.
The food scene in San Francisco is out of this world. For me personally, San Francisco competes with both New Orleans and New York as the best food city in America. Whether it’s Michelin level fine dining, to incredibly authentic food from almost any culture, to spectacular burritos in the Mission and all kinds of fusion, pop-ups and mom and pop shops. For me of course, pizza is always an issue and I’ve reviewed a number of spots in San Francisco and have even found NY quality level pizza here, the reviews are on the pizza page.
High strangeness is what makes San Francisco so unique. This is one fabulously weird ass city. One of the reasons that I love walking this city so much is how weird this place can be. It’s not unusual to suddenly see a naked cyclist come riding by, street festivals can go from as tame as a standard block party to a BDSM street festival. Walking around you never quite know what you might stumble into.
So yes, San Francisco exists in the real world, it’s a huge city so it has it’s share of problems, but no more than any other large and old city. I highly recommend it as a place to visit and explore. To illustrate it all, below is a bit of a typical day detailing what I encountered on my walk last weekend.
My route for the day would start with taking BART to Civic Center Plaza so that I could pop over to the library to donate some books. I would walk from the library down to the Ferry Builder, down the Embarcadero to Fisherman’s Wharf up to Fort Mason, up over to Chestnut Street up to Filmore, over to Lombard Street and a stop for pizza. Back down from Lombard to Polk and back over to the library and the Civic Center BART station, almost eight miles in the city.
In the library I encountered an angry patron leaving who decided to slam some doors and make a bit of noise. The area around the library has a lot of homeless and mentally ill folks due to services in that area, so this wasn’t a huge shock.
Heading down Market Street I stopped my one of my hidden little favorite spots, a small holographic sculpture plaza.
Just past the holo plaza I went by a cafe with an amazing South American band playing live and just a half a block later encountered a throng of people outside a hotel waiting for some famous person and hoping for autographs. Couldn’t quite figure out who it might be, they were roped off and had signs and some had trading cards, so who knows. Another half a block down a street musician was playing Elton John’s, this is your song, on the guitar. If you know the song, you know all the individual notes that comprise the song for the piano and he was nailing them on the guitar. I then passed a dude in a mechanized wheelchair going past me cranking music and full-on rapping in Arabic.
I was then eyed by a deadly killer robot.
The city has a large fleet of autonomous taxi cabs run by Waymo. Every time I see them I think of the cab from the movie Total Recall.
Walking down the Embarcadero I hit this marker on the ground, I guess X marks the spot. It denotes the location of some of the buried ships in San Francisco.
It’s a pretty fascinating story about how a lot of sailing ships ended up being buried and became part of the literal foundation of the San Francisco shoreline.
I rolled through Fisherman’s Wharf and past of course one of the most tantalizing parts of the city, The Ghirardelli’s tasty world of chocolate plaza.
I then and headed up Bay and Chestnut streets and saw some amazing street art.
Then over Fillmore to Lombard and over to Amici’s for pizza.
From there, full and very happy I headed the three miles over Polk and down back past the Civic Center and to BART. Just another happy walk in San Francisco.
If you don’t embrace who you are and accept who you are, you won’t be able to live a happy life. ~ Ciara
Simple Happiness
While I may be a deep and over complicated thinker who has difficulty slowing his brain down. The fact is I’m actually a simple man to make happy. There’s a funny parallel to people buying me presents, people are always lamenting I’m hard to buy for, but it’s not true. My interests are well-known to my friends and if you’ve been reading this or any of my other blogs you likely know most of them too. I like to garden, I’m into photography, I’m a Bigfoot fanatic and love cryptozoology in general. I like to read and write and am constantly accompanied by music in my life. I love to travel and experience new things and always love a surprise. So how hard can it be to find a gift, it’s a pretty big target. And yes, I’m about to turn sixty, feel free to take all of that as a hint. LOL
There are a lot of simple things that make me happy, a Pittsburgh Steeler game, a hike in any forest, the chance to be on the ocean, a good sunset, a crazy conversation with a little kid, a deep conversation with an intelligent person or a really good meal. Above all other meals for me is a really good New York style pizza (half pepperoni-mushroom) and a Coca-cola. The image above is from yesterday in San Francisco, a place called Amici’s East Coast Pizzeria and I reviewed it on the Pizza Page. Let me take away any surprise, it’s a damn good review.
It seems like a simple and silly thing, a good pizza and a coke, so let me go away from how I’m simply made happy and fall into my over complicated and complex thoughts to talk a little deeper about my love for pizza.
It can in one way be summarize numerically, 828-1170. People I grew up with will likely instantly recognize that phone number, it was the phone number for the Pizza Pit in Hudson. I talk about it in depth on the Pizza Page and will fight anyone who disagrees that it was the greatest pizza place ever. No seriously, I’ll come to blows over this. The Pizza Pit was a deep and important fixture in my childhood and is pictured below in the late 60’s or 70’s.
I’ve discussed it before and there is no need to rehash it tonight, I had a tough childhood. I grew up with a single mom and a lot of responsibility was laid on me. Also, in my blue collar hometown, Friday night was kind of pizza night. A lot of it had to do with what has best been described in a Scott Miller song, Daddy Raised a Boy, the line, “they drank a cold one ‘fore they changed their shirts.” I think the whole lyric around that line perfectly captures the reality of blue collar life, at least in the 70’s when I was a kid. Men stopped in for a beer after work, sometimes two, but on Fridays it often turned into a later night. As such, and since dinner in most blue collar homes was well-centered around the arrival time of dad, Friday night dinner time was very fluid. As such, most Friday nights it just became easier to either order a pizza, or have dad pick one up on the way home, thus Friday nights for most of us, was pizza night.
This was my reality well until my parents split when I was seven. Money was immediately tight and pizza became a big treat, while not every Friday but from time to time. A while after the divorce, as the world became a bit more stable, Friday night became bowling night, my mother’s one night a week to enjoy herself. This meant Friday night baby sitters, Chiller Theater horror flicks on TV and of course a pizza, sort of our consolation for mom being out. So as a kid, pizza became my big treat, it was one dependable bit of happiness for a kid who was not always all that happy.
It also corresponded with a traumatic event in my life. Early after the divorce, when my mother was unemployed, there was a night when I spilled my dinner. The dog of course pounced on it and when I asked for more, there wasn’t any. It was the one and only time in my life I truly experienced food insecurity and it shook me to my core. I was an extremely thin kid before that night, but the idea that food was not a given brought a laser focus in my mind as to what was most important, finding food to eat. Like I said, there was only one night when this was real, but I was determined to never let it happen again. Back in those days blue collar folks got their clothes from Sears and Roebucks. And they had three sizes for boys pants, regular, slims and huskies. Self-evident as to what those sizes are, the joke in my house was that I went from slims to huskies overnight, corresponding to shortly after my food event.
So food became an extreme comfort to me and as a bit of a natural born hustler, I found ways to make money constantly as a kid. I would do odd jobs, go to the store for people, babysit for little kids, mow lawns, rake leaves or shovel sidewalks. Occasionally gamble with my friends and if need be steal and sell something, I wasn’t always the upstanding citizen I’ve become in my later years. One place I could earn money was at the Pizza Pit, they would let me fold pizza boxes. I think we ridiculously got like a nickel a box, but the fact was in about an hour we could earn a couple of slices. The owner of the Pizza Pit liked me, or took pity on me, or both and he would always hook me up with a slice even if I showed up and they didn’t need boxes. The Pizza Pit became a big part of my life, hell they even sponsored the first bowling team I ever formed in our youth bowling league.
This relationship continued for years. When I would drive home from graduate school in Kentucky, a thirteen hour drive, I would call and order a pizza when I was just outside of town. I’ll never forget the time I arrived to pick up one of those pizza’s and Mr. Bijan chastised me, he’d found out that I stopped there before seeing my mom and he didn’t think that was right. So it was kind of a perfect storm with me and my connection to pizza, lucky to have great pizza, my own need for comfort food and a really kind pizza shop owner.
As I struggled through my twenties and thirties, dealing with anger and depression, pizza was always the one dependable way to give me a few minutes of joy. It also helped me balloon up to 250 pounds, which happily is weight I’ve lost. But pizza still remains the simplest joy in my life.
Living in California finding good pizza can often be a bit of a roller-coaster. There are not a lot of good pizza places in California, at least by New York slice standards. You can read more about exactly what that means on the Pizza Page. There are a lot of jokes and memes about pizza and sex being similar, when they’re good they’re great, and when they’re not, they’re still not bad. So yes, a pizza always provides me with some comfort, but the real joy is getting a really good New York style slice. It’s rarity for most of the time I’ve lived out of New York, over thirty years at this point, has made those instances even more precious.
So when I moved to my current job/home a few miles south of San Francisco, I set out looking for good pizza, as I do everywhere I’ve lived. However, in a city famous for it’s Italian North Beach and lot’s of Italian restaurants I had hope I’d have success. For a time there was a place in the Mission District, just off the BART line that kept in good supply. Arinell on Valencia was a good spot but they closed during the pandemic, happily this led me to find Gioia Pizzeria on Hayes, they could compete in Brooklyn and only seven-tenths of a mile off of BART. And today I found Amici’s a long three mile walk from BART and no slices, but certainly worth the walk for a ten inch pizza and soon they’ll be opening near Fisherman’s Whart, only a little over a mile from the BART line.
As silly as it sounds, having access to good pizza just makes me feel better about life. It’s that one dependable thing still, that I know I can have and know it will bring me comfort and joy. So sure, yeah, it’s just pizza to you, but it’s much, much more to me. It’s important, as the Ciara quote says, to know yourself, accept yourself and what you need to keep you happy. So I hope you can find what you need my friends to have happy days. ~ Rev Kane
While social media can without a doubt be a cesspool of terrible information, occasionally you come across something that is really useful, I found the image above to be just that. So let’s talk about these ideas.
Ikigai – I really love this concept, I think we all do, but it’s a really hard concept to enact in life. While finding all three of these characteristics in a job that also pays the bill is wonderful, most of us do our best to get as close as we can. But I would suggest my friends, is that just because you may not be there now, don’t give up. Maybe like me, you’ll have to hold out to hit all three in retirement, the point is to always keep getting closer to this goal. Which is conveniently the next concept, kaizen.
Kaizen – This is the idea of always just doing a little better. This can be applied to every part of our life. Today, try and eat just a little bit better, exercise a little bit more, get a little more sleep. Consistent incremental change over time can lead to big life changes.
Hara Hachi Bu – Here’s one I really need to learn and need to apply the idea of kaizen to every day. I think it’s hard from me because I grew up tough. If you’ve ever wondered whether or not they’ll be enough to eat tonight, you have a tendency to want to eat until your full. I haven’t been in jeopardy of not getting a full meal in over fifty years, but those childhood traumas are often hard to overcome.
Shoshin – I really think this is the secret to staying young, regardless of your chronological age. Keeping a child-like curiosity, being will to try new things, go on adventures, to do things you are unsure you can do well keeps us learning, growing and smiling.
Oubaitori – Stop trying to keep up with Jones is the way we say it in America. The quickest way to feel bad about yourself is to continue to compare yourself with others. Why? Because we most often compare ourselves to the best and the brightest and no one is the best at everything. Take things in their own time, in a way that best suits you and you’ll live a happier life.
Wabi Sabi – Stop trying to make life so complicated and grandiose. Sure, in America, we’re fond of the phrase, go big or go home it’s what our culture emphasizes and rewards. It’s also in my opinion, one of the reasons that we’re a society full of stress and anxiety. Simplify, relax, enjoy the twists and turns of life, try and enjoy every moment. It’s not easy, I know, but it’s the attempt that counts.
These concepts, pulled together can absolutely help you have a better life and happier days my friends and that’s what matters. ~ Rev Kane
My tiny patio garden has become a tiny patio jungle
Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings obliteration. I will face my fear and I will permit it to pass over me and through me. ~ Frank Herbert, Dune
Hello friends and welcome to the apocalypse, I personally refer to it as the shambling apocalypse, instead of the one day societal fall we see in all the movies, this one seems to be wobbling around and slowly progressing. I’m going to start tonight’s post by triggering all of your fears. All of the things I’m going to mention are legitimate concerns, reason for fear/anxiety and many of the things many of you are doom scrolling endlessly on your phones. If you are easily triggered, all the bad new is in red below, so just skip over it and move on to the black type.
So welcome to July 1st, let’s start with the good news. For the first time in 469 days the world’s oceans are not at the highest temperature in recorded history. The bad news is that they are still basically at the highest temperatures in recorded history, leading to yesterday a hurricane being the first ever recorded category 4 hurricane in the Atlantic in the month of June. Hurricane Beryl is currently blasting Caribbean Island nations with 150 mph sustained winds. To all my Caribbean, Mexican, Southern and Eastern coastal readers, buckle up it’s going to be a really nasty hurricane season.
In the world of COVID, we are currently seeing a spike double the size that we did last summer, still not winter flu season numbers but you might want to wear a mask in the crowd, particularly if you’re unvaccinated or immune suppressed in some way.
Politically, the US Supreme Court has recently ruled that government agencies can only regulate something very specifically, and previously laid out by law. Meaning that any new situation can’t be addressed without a new law. Shouldn’t be an issue given how harmonious, quickly and efficiently our congress works, oh wait…. They’ve also ruled that presidents essentially have total immunity, can’t imagine how that could go wrong.
On the international political front everything is calm and great, just kidding. France has given a potential parliamentary majority to the far right, lead by Marie Le Pen. Nothing to see there, she’s only the daughter of an unabashed Neo-Nazi who expressed those views herself until she got a more palatable political makeover about five years ago. With the rise of far right influence in Europe and the US focusing around immigration, it’s like the white people of the world are saying to all the non-whites, go back to where you came from, completely ignoring that non-whites only make up around 10% of the world. Native Americans reading this are just silently shaking their heads.
The Ukraine-Russian War rages in Europe with more involvement by the EU, NATO and US every day. Israel is still leveling GAZA and killing large numbers of women and children every day. Hezbollah in Lebanon and Israel creep closer to war, Iran has let it be known if it starts they’ll unleash all of their proxy groups on everyone. Russia and North Korea are getting chummy, World War III is potentially 12-18 months away.
Finally your weather report, it’s hot, record heat wave coming to California where I live, starting later today and extending through the next week or so. People in the Northeast are just ending a similar one they have faced. But here’s the good news, because of global warming, this is likely the coolest summer of the rest of your life.
So what the hell do you do!?
Do nothing. Be still. Sleep. Rest in the arms of the dragon. Dream.
If you just read that line in the voice of Nicol Williamson, who played Merlin in Excalibur, you’re my kind of people, we should hang out.
The large, complicated and existentially dreadful portions of life are often generally ignored by people who go about their daily lives like those things don’t exist. That’s both good and bad, when things are truly an existential threat, like climate change and world wars, apathy is not a good thing for humanity. But in your day to day life, these things typically don’t have a massive impact and paralyzing anxiety is a solution to nothing.
So here’s my recommendation, do what you can, when you can, to positively impact the bigger issues in the world. Whether that’s working for a political campaign, raising awareness or donating to an issue you should do what you can up to a level that doesn’t negatively impact your life. If you are fighting against global climate change to leave a better world for your children and grandchildren but in the process of fighting neglect any relationship with them, well, maybe that’s not the best answer. By doing what you can, when you can, hopefully you’ll then have the headspace to be more mindfully engaged in your day to day life in a positive and meaningful way.
To bastardize a line from, V for Vendetta, an apocalypse without dancing would be an apocalypse not worth having. And what that very powerful quote expresses, is the idea that no matter what the situation of the world, or your life, you have to find time for joy. You have to take the time to nourish the art, joy and love in your soul. Even in the midst of horror, it’s ok to find some beauty.
So make appropriate time to impact the world as best you can, but also make time to garden, to be in nature, to paint, or sing or play music. Make time to just sit and be, better even if that’s by a stream or an ocean. We are all afraid, all of the time, at some level. Don’t let that underlying current of anxiety and fear prevent you from experiencing beauty, love and joy, don’t let it prevent you from living a happy life. And most of all, let yourself have happy days my friends. ~ Rev Kane
Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty. ~ Mother Teresa
Tonight a post for the lonely people, sure, might benefit you all but I’m writing specifically to the lonely amongst us. First off, I’m one of you, haven’t always been. But lately I find myself feeling pretty lonely. It’s not something I’m unfamiliar with, there’s a reason my favorite Beatles’ songs is Eleanor Rigby. Being lonely from time to time is natural for all of us, it’s when you start feeling and being lonely all the time that the bad things can happen. Loneliness is both at an epidemic level in America and can lead to a large number of negative mental and physical outcomes. These can include anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and even premature death. It has become a major issue for older Americans in particular, but younger Americans (18 – 30) are reporting increasing rates of loneliness.
Let’s talk about what loneliness is. People have a tendency to think of loneliness in only one way, a lack of social interaction. It’s the same uni-dimensional way they often think of people being introverted. But loneliness is not determined by the frequency of social interaction. I can tell you honestly, sometimes the loneliest I feel is in the middle of a social interaction, a condition my fellow introverts will likely identify with. Loneliness is about having deep social connections. So while someone to have a drink or coffee with is nice and certainly helps a bit. What cures loneliness is having contact with people in your life where you can connect on a deeper level. To say it another way, people you can be your true self with, without fear of judgement or rejection. The type of people you can tell anything, people who may disagree with you, but will never judge you or reject you. Understandably, most of us have only a few people in our life who fit this definition. And the frequency of interaction with them does matter, but those people have a tendency to be in contact enough.
One of the reason that seniors in America are increasingly facing loneliness is that often those people in their lives are spouses and close longtime friends. As you get older unfortunately, people die and older folks can often lose all of the people they have deep connections with. Suddenly finding yourself living alone without those you are most deeply connected with can make people feel deeply lonely. And it’s not so easy to find these people in the first place and so much harder when you’re retired, less mobile and living alone. It’s hard at any level to make friends but harder when you get older, sixty year-old guys don’t just walk down the street, see another old dude and say, “hey let’s me and you be friends.” Maybe we should, we might learn a bit from the toddlers I get to interact with at our Child Development Center, because they’ll do exactly that, just walk up to another person and ask them to be friends.
So what do you do if you’re feeling lonely. The first thing, like any issue, is to admit that it’s an issue for you and actively work to correct it. While social interaction doesn’t eliminate loneliness on it’s own, having more social interactions give you more opportunities to encounter and connect with people who may become the type of friend you need to help alleviate your loneliness. So participating in volunteering opportunities, joining social groups or even taking classes can help you find people who can make you feel less lonely. While social media can be a desert of real connection, it can also be a way to connect with people. Utilizing social media by joining specific groups where you can talk about things you’re interested in can be a way to connect with like minded people without the venom associated with social media political interaction. Finally, loneliness like any other issue is exacerbated by us not being at our best. So we must always come back to the basics, are you eating right, sleeping enough, exercising and feeling safe in your environment. And always, if you’re doing what you can and it’s not helping, then seeing a professional counselor can certainly help.
It’s also important to carefully plan your life and situation to avoid social isolation. Plan ways to make sure you’re interacting with people and putting yourself in situations where you can find opportunities to be more social, again, increasing your chances of making those deeper connections. For me this is relevant to me in terms of my plans for retirement. I’ll need to work for a few years until I reach medicare age. So my plan is to take a job at a four-year institution at a lower level working directly with students. As dear as community college education is to my heart, a four-year college will afford many more opportunities to attend sporting events, art and cultural events as well as opportunities to listen to speakers coming to campus. These are the activities I hope to you use to prevent myself from becoming socially isolated in retirement.
Finally friends, it’s scary but never be too afraid to reach out and take some chances on people. Someone may seem pleasant, but not the type of person you would normally deeply connect with, go have a cup of coffee or a meal anyway. Occasionally people might surprise you or even through them you might meet someone you can make a deeper connection with and then hopefully, you’ll have happier days my friends. ~ Rev Kane
When deep injury is done to us, we never recover until we forgive. ~ Alan Paton
We all have things that we are working on, I’ve done a lot of work over the years on myself. I’ve made a lot of progress and honestly I’m proud of what I’ve been able to do and change over the years. Probably the one area I still have the most work to do on is forgiveness. Intellectually I understand the concept, the quote above is really on point. There is a process and a cycle to all things. In order to heal from being hurt, to finally and completely heal we need to forgive those who have harmed us. This is not an easy thing for me.
Awareness: The first step in emotional healing is becoming aware of the emotional pain and trauma that needs healing. This involves recognizing the feelings and behaviors that are causing distress and identifying the source of the trauma.
Acknowledgment: The second step is acknowledging the pain and trauma, and accepting that it is a part of one’s life. This involves admitting to oneself that there is a problem and taking responsibility for one’s own healing.
Acceptance: The third step is accepting that healing is possible and committing to the journey. This involves letting go of any doubts or fears about the healing process and trusting that it is possible to move forward.
Feel the Pain: The fourth step is allowing oneself to feel the pain and trauma without judgment or avoidance. This involves experiencing the emotions and sensations that come with the trauma, even if they are uncomfortable or painful.
Grieving: The fifth step is acknowledging the losses that have come with the trauma and allowing oneself to grieve them. This involves recognizing the things that have been lost as a result of the trauma, such as trust, safety, or a sense of self, and allowing oneself to mourn these losses.
Forgiveness: The sixth step is forgiving oneself and others for any harm caused by the trauma. This involves letting go of anger, blame, and resentment, and finding compassion and understanding for oneself and others.
Moving Forward: The final step is making a commitment to move forward with a new sense of purpose and direction. This involves creating a vision for the future and taking steps to make that vision a reality, such as setting goals, seeking support, and engaging in activities that promote healing and growth.
I do great with the first five steps of the process, it’s the sixth step where I get hung up. For me I think it’s too difficult for me to get past a sense of fairness. I get bogged down in the idea that if people suffer no consequences then they can’t learn and grow from the experience. And if they don’t learn and grow from the experience, then they’ll likely do it again. I need to put greater faith in Karma and the fact that people who create negativity in the world very often suffer far more themselves than they put on others. But I struggle in truly believing this.
This doesn’t mean I haven’t forgiven, or at least gotten to something really close in my life. We all know that if you’re still angry, if you still have that energy then the pain still owns you and therefore, the person that hurt you is still in control. Given my difficulty in getting to forgiveness, what I look for in life when I’m trying to heal is a lack of energy. When I no longer have energy around something, I feel I’m able to get to moving forward, perhaps not in the life actualization realm, but the issue and by connection the person are no longer controlling any part of my life. Perhaps what I get to is forgiveness light at some level.
The point I hope you pull from this discussion tonight isn’t all that complicated in theory. It’s important for us to clear our lives of the things that bring us down, effect our energy and mood and therefore diminish our happiness. We have to work through the processes needed to rectify these situations. Sometimes this means self-reflection, sometimes it means counseling, sometimes it means cutting the person or situation out of your life. Whatever you have to do, the most important thing of course, is to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and know that you’re working on getting better, getting healthier and having better days. ~ Rev Kane
The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever. ~ Jacques Yves Cousteau
So, I have been doing a bit of a farewell California tour the last couple of months. Preparing for my move in February and my subsequent Appalachian Trail hike. If you want to read more about my last hike, my book Appalachian Trail Happiness is on sale on Amazon. Hopefully the next trip will provide me with enough adventures and stories to do another book.
Appalachian Trail Happiness
This past weekend my apartment complex was doing some repair work on our parking lot so I decided to split Thursday night and head to Monterey for the weekend. Returning to where I started my California Community College career back in 2002. After having visited in 1988 I fell in love with Monterey and promised myself I’d live there someday, that day came in 2002. I really loved my time in the area, living and working in Salinas. The students I had in the MESA program at Hartnell were the best students I’d ever worked with and I had a lot of success at that college including winning a national award.
Living in the Monterey Bay area was fantastic, I love Pacific Grove, the bay, Elkhorn Slough and the Monterey Bay Aquarium is one of my favorite places. I got to spend a lot of time near and on the ocean while living there. It’s one of the more specific natural environments on Earth.
Whale watching was also really easy to access and I did a whale-watch this past weekend. It was a great day, we saw over 30 humpback whales, dozens of Risso Dolphins, Pacific Whiteside Dolphins and even a really rare bird, the Black-footed Albatross. It was wonderful and I got this video of a forty foot humpback whale doing a full-body breach.
It’s nice to visit old places as long as you don’t get too mired in nostalgia. I did the whale-watch, walked around, ate lots of great seafood and generally was just happy to be in such an amazing place. No real wisdom tonight beyond reminding you to do things and go to places that feed your sale and give you happier days my friends. ~ Rev Kane
The Ministry of Happiness 