My Annual Thanksgiving Hike

My Annual Thanksgiving Hike

thanksgiving, hikeBe thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more.  If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you’ll never have enough.                            ~  Oprah Winfrey

As I’ve written about before, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.  Over the last two Thanksgivings I was traveling.  And while particularly last year, Thanksgiving in Oaxaca was wonderful, it’s been three years since I was able to check off my Thanksgiving traditions.  This is one of the few times that I try and parallel traditions from my youth.  When I was younger Thanksgiving meant hunting with my grandpa in the morning, home for a big breakfast and a nap.  Back out hunting in the afternoon and return home at sunset for dinner, football and often a second nap.  Dinner always meant turkey, mashed potatoes, lasagna, corn, cranberry sauce and pies.

For me these days, particularly like this year when I’m just cooking for me, my traditions are simple and comfortable.  A morning hike, this year it was cold and had been raining so I delayed it to a little bit later in the morning but took a walk along the beach and up to Mori Point.  Not a strenuous hike but the waves were cranking today.

 

I returned home to do some cooking, turkey, stuffing, potatoes, cranberry sauce and of course a little chocolate pudding pie.  Dinner was great.

thanksgiving dinner

After dinner, I relaxed watching football, taking a break for my required Thanksgiving Holiday movement listening, the full massacre in four part harmony.

Alice’s Restaurant

I snuck in a lovely little nap during the games after which I awoke to dive into the pie.  Pretty much a perfect holiday for me.  I hope yours was good as well and you had a happy day my friends.  Happy Thanksgiving. ~ Rev Kane

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Happiness is Thanksgiving Dinner

Happiness is Thanksgiving Dinner

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations. ~ Oscar Wilde

thanksgiving-food

So as my favorite eating holiday of the year approaches, I thought I would do a post on Thanksgiving Dinner because a good Thanksgiving Dinner is certainly a good day my friends.  ~ Rev Kane

Traditional Turkey Dinners (we’ll get more ALT down below)

For those of you who want all your info in one post:

How to buy, thaw, stuff and cook a turkey from What’s Cooking America

To start:

Tips on buying a turkey from the LA Times

Another piece on what turkey to buy

For those of you considering heirloom birds a little info

Cooking tips and guides:

The simplest easiest way to make a good turkey

For the gourmet types among you, from Saveur – The Perfect Bird 

The side dishes:

Perfect mashed potatoes

Fancy mashed potatoes with cream cheese

And for the fancy pants cooks, Duchess Potatoes

Three words, Green Bean Casserole

We have 83, yes 83 side dish and stuffing recipes from Southern Living 

Dessert

From the Food Network, 50 classic dessert recipes 

But my favorite, buy a Keebler Graham pie shell, a banana, instant chocolate pudding and some rainbow sprinkles.  Take the shell, cut the banana into slices on the bottom of the shell, make the pudding and pour over it, shake the sprinkles on top, refrigerate – heaven.

Non-traditional Dinners

Calvin Trillin’s Alternative Thanksgiving Dinners  http://busycooks.about.com/od/thanksgiving/a/Trillinthanksgi.htm

Three anti-turkey Thanksgiving dinners, sure it’s blasphemy but the recipes look great and one is vegetarian  http://www.thedailymeal.com/three-anti-turkey-thanksgiving-menus

For our Vegan friends:

We have 44 Vegan recipes for Thanksgiving  http://greatist.com/health/vegan-thanksgiving-recipes

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Happiness is Poetry: Adrian Manning

Happiness is Poetry: Adrian Manning

happiness, poetry

I’m starting to the think Adrian and Hosho have a mutual admiration society in the works

Another recommendation tonight from our friend Hosho McCreesh, I really like Adrian Manning’s work and particular this first piece.  Check out Concrete Meat Press as well, fabulous stuff.  Have a read, enjoy and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

 

AT THIS MOMENT

Darkness envelops this house,

rain has begun to fall.

Air is heavy and ominous here.

I see your face in the window

and the tears

of the centuries

run from your reflected eyes,

slow at first they gain

on each other.

I have done some bad

and useless things.

When the rain

and darkness are gone

they will still be

bad and useless things.

Silence will remain

to remind me,

building a wall

between us

as unavoidable

as history.

************************

SHARP

walking the streets

of san Francisco .

see that apartment up there?

that’s where Buk stayed

when he read here once

A.D. tells me.

the wild party, the broken window.

it’s legendary, I’ve read of it.

looking down, I see a

broken shard, like the old guy

himself, still sharp after

all these years

*******************************

RELIGION

by Adrian Manning

they come to the door

peddling their manifestos

and offering their reading

material.

I am not interested.

I tell them I worship at the 

Church of Bukowski

and I have plenty to read.

they look confused.

they don’t understand.

but you do

don’t you? 

**************************

You might like these as well…

Happiness is Poetry: Bukowski Again

Happiness is Poetry: Doug Draime

Happiness is Poetry: Suzanne Burns

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Happiness is Poetry: Great American Poems

Happiness is Poetry: Great American Poems

happiness

 

Tonight, a collection of several great American Poems, enjoy my friends and have a happy day ~ Rev Kane

 

 

I start of course with my favorite poet, Charles Bukowski, a brutal little piece about the pretty people.

What’s the Use of A Title?

They dont make it 
the beautiful die in flame- 
sucide pills,rat poison,rope what- 
ever... 
they rip their arms off, 
throw themselves out of windows, 
they pull their eyes out of the sockets, 
reject love 
reject hate 
reject,reject. 

they do'nt make it 
the beautiful can't endure, 
they are butterflies 
they are doves 
they are sparrows, 
they dont make it. 

onetall shot of flame 
while the old men play checkers in the park 
one flame,one good flame 
while the old men play checkers in the park 
in the sun. 

the beautiful are found in the edge of a room 
crumpled into spiders and needles and silence 
and we can never understand why they 
left,they were so 
beautiful. 

they dont make it, 
the beautiful die young 
and leave the ugly to their ugly lives. 

lovley and brilliant: life and suidcide and death 
as the old men play checkers in the sun 
in the park.

 

One of Langston Hughes’ simple, short and powerful pieces.

I Too Sing America

I, too, sing America.

I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.

Tomorrow,
I'll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody'll dare
Say to me,
"Eat in the kitchen,"
Then.

Besides, 
They'll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed--

I, too, am America.

 

One of my favorite pieces by Maya Angelou

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Allen Ginsberg’s and anthem for the beat generation and one that still reads with great impact.

Howl

 I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by 
              madness, starving hysterical naked, 
       dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn 
              looking for an angry fix, 
       angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly 
              connection to the starry dynamo in the machin- 
              ery of night, 
       who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat 
              up smoking in the supernatural darkness of 
              cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities 
              contemplating jazz, 
       who bared their brains to Heaven under the El and 
              saw Mohammedan angels staggering on tene- 
              ment roofs illuminated, 
       who passed through universities with radiant cool eyes 
              hallucinating Arkansas and Blake-light tragedy 
              among the scholars of war, 
       who were expelled from the academies for crazy & 
              publishing obscene odes on the windows of the 
              skull, 
       who cowered in unshaven rooms in underwear, burn- 
              ing their money in wastebaskets and listening 
              to the Terror through the wall, 
       who got busted in their pubic beards returning through 
              Laredo with a belt of marijuana for New York, 
       who ate fire in paint hotels or drank turpentine in 
              Paradise Alley, death, or purgatoried their 
              torsos night after night 
       with dreams, with drugs, with waking nightmares, al- 
              cohol and cock and endless balls, 
       incomparable blind; streets of shuddering cloud and 
              lightning in the mind leaping toward poles of 
              Canada & Paterson, illuminating all the mo- 
              tionless world of Time between, 
       Peyote solidities of halls, backyard green tree cemetery 
              dawns, wine drunkenness over the rooftops, 
              storefront boroughs of teahead joyride neon 
              blinking traffic light, sun and moon and tree 
              vibrations in the roaring winter dusks of Brook- 
              lyn, ashcan rantings and kind king light of mind, 
       who chained themselves to subways for the endless 
              ride from Battery to holy Bronx on benzedrine 
              until the noise of wheels and children brought 
              them down shuddering mouth-wracked and 
              battered bleak of brain all drained of brilliance 
              in the drear light of Zoo, 
       who sank all night in submarine light of Bickford's 
              floated out and sat through the stale beer after 
              noon in desolate Fugazzi's, listening to the crack 
              of doom on the hydrogen jukebox, 
       who talked continuously seventy hours from park to 
              pad to bar to Bellevue to museum to the Brook- 
              lyn Bridge, 
       lost battalion of platonic conversationalists jumping 
              down the stoops off fire escapes off windowsills 
              off Empire State out of the moon, 
       yacketayakking screaming vomiting whispering facts 
              and memories and anecdotes and eyeball kicks 
              and shocks of hospitals and jails and wars, 
       whole intellects disgorged in total recall for seven days 
              and nights with brilliant eyes, meat for the 
              Synagogue cast on the pavement, 
       who vanished into nowhere Zen New Jersey leaving a 
              trail of ambiguous picture postcards of Atlantic 
              City Hall, 
       suffering Eastern sweats and Tangerian bone-grind- 
              ings and migraines of China under junk-with- 
              drawal in Newark's bleak furnished room, 
       who wandered around and around at midnight in the 
              railroad yard wondering where to go, and went, 
              leaving no broken hearts, 
       who lit cigarettes in boxcars boxcars boxcars racketing 
              through snow toward lonesome farms in grand- 
              father night, 
       who studied Plotinus Poe St. John of the Cross telep- 
              athy and bop kabbalah because the cosmos in- 
              stinctively vibrated at their feet in Kansas, 
       who loned it through the streets of Idaho seeking vis- 
              ionary indian angels who were visionary indian 
              angels, 
       who thought they were only mad when Baltimore 
              gleamed in supernatural ecstasy, 
       who jumped in limousines with the Chinaman of Okla- 
              homa on the impulse of winter midnight street 
              light smalltown rain, 
       who lounged hungry and lonesome through Houston 
              seeking jazz or sex or soup, and followed the 
              brilliant Spaniard to converse about America 
              and Eternity, a hopeless task, and so took ship 
              to Africa, 
       who disappeared into the volcanoes of Mexico leaving 
              behind nothing but the shadow of dungarees 
              and the lava and ash of poetry scattered in fire 
              place Chicago, 
       who reappeared on the West Coast investigating the 
              F.B.I. in beards and shorts with big pacifist 
              eyes sexy in their dark skin passing out incom- 
              prehensible leaflets, 
       who burned cigarette holes in their arms protesting 
              the narcotic tobacco haze of Capitalism, 
       who distributed Supercommunist pamphlets in Union 
              Square weeping and undressing while the sirens 
              of Los Alamos wailed them down, and wailed 
              down Wall, and the Staten Island ferry also 
              wailed, 
       who broke down crying in white gymnasiums naked 
              and trembling before the machinery of other 
              skeletons, 
       who bit detectives in the neck and shrieked with delight 
              in policecars for committing no crime but their 
              own wild cooking pederasty and intoxication, 
       who howled on their knees in the subway and were 
              dragged off the roof waving genitals and manu- 
              scripts, 
       who let themselves be fucked in the ass by saintly 
              motorcyclists, and screamed with joy, 
       who blew and were blown by those human seraphim, 
              the sailors, caresses of Atlantic and Caribbean 
              love, 
       who balled in the morning in the evenings in rose 
              gardens and the grass of public parks and 
              cemeteries scattering their semen freely to 
              whomever come who may, 
       who hiccuped endlessly trying to giggle but wound up 
              with a sob behind a partition in a Turkish Bath 
              when the blond & naked angel came to pierce 
              them with a sword, 
       who lost their loveboys to the three old shrews of fate 
              the one eyed shrew of the heterosexual dollar 
              the one eyed shrew that winks out of the womb 
              and the one eyed shrew that does nothing but 
              sit on her ass and snip the intellectual golden 
              threads of the craftsman's loom, 
       who copulated ecstatic and insatiate with a bottle of 
              beer a sweetheart a package of cigarettes a can- 
              dle and fell off the bed, and continued along 
              the floor and down the hall and ended fainting 
              on the wall with a vision of ultimate cunt and 
              come eluding the last gyzym of consciousness, 
       who sweetened the snatches of a million girls trembling 
              in the sunset, and were red eyed in the morning 
              but prepared to sweeten the snatch of the sun 
              rise, flashing buttocks under barns and naked 
              in the lake, 
       who went out whoring through Colorado in myriad 
              stolen night-cars, N.C., secret hero of these 
              poems, cocksman and Adonis of Denver-joy 
              to the memory of his innumerable lays of girls 
              in empty lots & diner backyards, moviehouses' 
              rickety rows, on mountaintops in caves or with 
              gaunt waitresses in familiar roadside lonely pet- 
              ticoat upliftings & especially secret gas-station 
              solipsisms of johns, & hometown alleys too, 
       who faded out in vast sordid movies, were shifted in 
              dreams, woke on a sudden Manhattan, and 
              picked themselves up out of basements hung 
              over with heartless Tokay and horrors of Third 
              Avenue iron dreams & stumbled to unemploy- 
              ment offices, 
       who walked all night with their shoes full of blood on 
              the snowbank docks waiting for a door in the 
              East River to open to a room full of steamheat 
              and opium, 
       who created great suicidal dramas on the apartment 
              cliff-banks of the Hudson under the wartime 
              blue floodlight of the moon & their heads shall 
              be crowned with laurel in oblivion, 
       who ate the lamb stew of the imagination or digested 
              the crab at the muddy bottom of the rivers of 
              Bowery, 
       who wept at the romance of the streets with their 
              pushcarts full of onions and bad music, 
       who sat in boxes breathing in the darkness under the 
              bridge, and rose up to build harpsichords in 
              their lofts, 
       who coughed on the sixth floor of Harlem crowned 
              with flame under the tubercular sky surrounded 
              by orange crates of theology, 
       who scribbled all night rocking and rolling over lofty 
              incantations which in the yellow morning were 
              stanzas of gibberish, 
       who cooked rotten animals lung heart feet tail borsht 
              & tortillas dreaming of the pure vegetable 
              kingdom, 
       who plunged themselves under meat trucks looking for 
              an egg, 
       who threw their watches off the roof to cast their ballot 
              for Eternity outside of Time, & alarm clocks 
              fell on their heads every day for the next decade, 
       who cut their wrists three times successively unsuccess- 
              fully, gave up and were forced to open antique 
              stores where they thought they were growing 
              old and cried, 
       who were burned alive in their innocent flannel suits 
              on Madison Avenue amid blasts of leaden verse 
              & the tanked-up clatter of the iron regiments 
              of fashion & the nitroglycerine shrieks of the 
              fairies of advertising & the mustard gas of sinis- 
              ter intelligent editors, or were run down by the 
              drunken taxicabs of Absolute Reality, 
       who jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge this actually hap- 
              pened and walked away unknown and forgotten 
              into the ghostly daze of Chinatown soup alley 
              ways & firetrucks, not even one free beer, 
       who sang out of their windows in despair, fell out of 
              the subway window, jumped in the filthy Pas- 
              saic, leaped on negroes, cried all over the street, 
              danced on broken wineglasses barefoot smashed 
              phonograph records of nostalgic European 
              1930s German jazz finished the whiskey and 
              threw up groaning into the bloody toilet, moans 
              in their ears and the blast of colossal steam 
              whistles, 
       who barreled down the highways of the past journeying 
              to each other's hotrod-Golgotha jail-solitude 
              watch or Birmingham jazz incarnation, 
       who drove crosscountry seventytwo hours to find out 
              if I had a vision or you had a vision or he had 
              a vision to find out Eternity, 
       who journeyed to Denver, who died in Denver, who 
              came back to Denver & waited in vain, who 
              watched over Denver & brooded & loned in 
              Denver and finally went away to find out the 
              Time, & now Denver is lonesome for her heroes, 
       who fell on their knees in hopeless cathedrals praying 
              for each other's salvation and light and breasts, 
              until the soul illuminated its hair for a second, 
       who crashed through their minds in jail waiting for 
              impossible criminals with golden heads and the 
              charm of reality in their hearts who sang sweet 
              blues to Alcatraz, 
       who retired to Mexico to cultivate a habit, or Rocky 
              Mount to tender Buddha or Tangiers to boys 
              or Southern Pacific to the black locomotive or 
              Harvard to Narcissus to Woodlawn to the 
              daisychain or grave, 
       who demanded sanity trials accusing the radio of hyp 
              notism & were left with their insanity & their 
              hands & a hung jury, 
       who threw potato salad at CCNY lecturers on Dadaism 
              and subsequently presented themselves on the 
              granite steps of the madhouse with shaven heads 
              and harlequin speech of suicide, demanding in- 
              stantaneous lobotomy, 
       and who were given instead the concrete void of insulin 
              Metrazol electricity hydrotherapy psycho- 
              therapy occupational therapy pingpong & 
              amnesia, 
       who in humorless protest overturned only one symbolic 
              pingpong table, resting briefly in catatonia, 
       returning years later truly bald except for a wig of 
              blood, and tears and fingers, to the visible mad 
              man doom of the wards of the madtowns of the 
              East, 
       Pilgrim State's Rockland's and Greystone's foetid 
              halls, bickering with the echoes of the soul, rock- 
              ing and rolling in the midnight solitude-bench 
              dolmen-realms of love, dream of life a night- 
              mare, bodies turned to stone as heavy as the 
              moon, 
       with mother finally ******, and the last fantastic book 
              flung out of the tenement window, and the last 
              door closed at 4. A.M. and the last telephone 
              slammed at the wall in reply and the last fur- 
              nished room emptied down to the last piece of 
              mental furniture, a yellow paper rose twisted 
              on a wire hanger in the closet, and even that 
              imaginary, nothing but a hopeful little bit of 
              hallucination 
       ah, Carl, while you are not safe I am not safe, and 
              now you're really in the total animal soup of 
              time 
       and who therefore ran through the icy streets obsessed 
              with a sudden flash of the alchemy of the use 
              of the ellipse the catalog the meter & the vibrat- 
              ing plane, 
       who dreamt and made incarnate gaps in Time & Space 
              through images juxtaposed, and trapped the 
              archangel of the soul between 2 visual images 
              and joined the elemental verbs and set the noun 
              and dash of consciousness together jumping 
              with sensation of Pater Omnipotens Aeterna 
              Deus 
       to recreate the syntax and measure of poor human 
              prose and stand before you speechless and intel- 
              ligent and shaking with shame, rejected yet con- 
              fessing out the soul to conform to the rhythm 
              of thought in his naked and endless head, 
       the madman bum and angel beat in Time, unknown, 
              yet putting down here what might be left to say 
              in time come after death, 
       and rose reincarnate in the ghostly clothes of jazz in 
              the goldhorn shadow of the band and blew the 
              suffering of America's naked mind for love into 
              an eli eli lamma lamma sabacthani saxophone 
              cry that shivered the cities down to the last radio 
       with the absolute heart of the poem of life butchered 
              out of their own bodies good to eat a thousand 
              years. 

                           II 

       What sphinx of cement and aluminum bashed open 
              their skulls and ate up their brains and imagi- 
              nation? 
       Moloch! Solitude! Filth! Ugliness! Ashcans and unob 
              tainable dollars! Children screaming under the 
              stairways! Boys sobbing in armies! Old men 
              weeping in the parks! 
       Moloch! Moloch! Nightmare of Moloch! Moloch the 
              loveless! Mental Moloch! Moloch the heavy 
              judger of men! 
       Moloch the incomprehensible prison! Moloch the 
              crossbone soulless jailhouse and Congress of 
              sorrows! Moloch whose buildings are judgment! 
              Moloch the vast stone of war! Moloch the stun- 
              ned governments! 
       Moloch whose mind is pure machinery! Moloch whose 
              blood is running money! Moloch whose fingers 
              are ten armies! Moloch whose breast is a canni- 
              bal dynamo! Moloch whose ear is a smoking 
              tomb! 
       Moloch whose eyes are a thousand blind windows! 
              Moloch whose skyscrapers stand in the long 
              streets like endless Jehovahs! Moloch whose fac- 
              tories dream and croak in the fog! Moloch whose 
              smokestacks and antennae crown the cities! 
       Moloch whose love is endless oil and stone! Moloch 
              whose soul is electricity and banks! Moloch 
              whose poverty is the specter of genius! Moloch 
              whose fate is a cloud of sexless hydrogen! 
              Moloch whose name is the Mind! 
       Moloch in whom I sit lonely! Moloch in whom I dream 
              Angels! Crazy in Moloch! Cocksucker in 
              Moloch! Lacklove and manless in Moloch! 
       Moloch who entered my soul early! Moloch in whom 
              I am a consciousness without a body! Moloch 
              who frightened me out of my natural ecstasy! 
              Moloch whom I abandon! Wake up in Moloch! 
              Light streaming out of the sky! 
       Moloch! Moloch! Robot apartments! invisible suburbs! 
              skeleton treasuries! blind capitals! demonic 
              industries! spectral nations! invincible mad 
              houses! granite cocks! monstrous bombs! 
       They broke their backs lifting Moloch to Heaven! Pave- 
              ments, trees, radios, tons! lifting the city to 
              Heaven which exists and is everywhere about 
              us! 
       Visions! omens! hallucinations! miracles! ecstasies! 
              gone down the American river! 
       Dreams! adorations! illuminations! religions! the whole 
              boatload of sensitive bullshit! 
       Breakthroughs! over the river! flips and crucifixions! 
              gone down the flood! Highs! Epiphanies! De- 
              spairs! Ten years' animal screams and suicides! 
              Minds! New loves! Mad generation! down on 
              the rocks of Time! 
       Real holy laughter in the river! They saw it all! the 
              wild eyes! the holy yells! They bade farewell! 
              They jumped off the roof! to solitude! waving! 
              carrying flowers! Down to the river! into the 
              street! 

                           III

       Carl Solomon! I'm with you in Rockland 
              where you're madder than I am 
       I'm with you in Rockland 
              where you must feel very strange 
       I'm with you in Rockland 
              where you imitate the shade of my mother 
       I'm with you in Rockland 
              where you've murdered your twelve secretaries 
       I'm with you in Rockland 
              where you laugh at this invisible humor 
       I'm with you in Rockland 
              where we are great writers on the same dreadful 
              typewriter 
       I'm with you in Rockland 
              where your condition has become serious and 
              is reported on the radio 
       I'm with you in Rockland 
              where the faculties of the skull no longer admit 
              the worms of the senses 
       I'm with you in Rockland 
              where you drink the tea of the breasts of the 
              spinsters of Utica 
       I'm with you in Rockland 
              where you pun on the bodies of your nurses the 
              harpies of the Bronx 
       I'm with you in Rockland 
              where you scream in a straightjacket that you're 
              losing the game of the actual pingpong of the 
              abyss 
       I'm with you in Rockland 
              where you bang on the catatonic piano the soul 
              is innocent and immortal it should never die 
              ungodly in an armed madhouse 
       I'm with you in Rockland 
              where fifty more shocks will never return your 
              soul to its body again from its pilgrimage to a 
              cross in the void 
       I'm with you in Rockland 
              where you accuse your doctors of insanity and 
              plot the Hebrew socialist revolution against the 
              fascist national Golgotha 
       I'm with you in Rockland 
              where you will split the heavens of Long Island 
              and resurrect your living human Jesus from the 
              superhuman tomb 
       I'm with you in Rockland 
              where there are twenty-five-thousand mad com- 
              rades all together singing the final stanzas of the Internationale 
       I'm with you in Rockland 
              where we hug and kiss the United States under 
              our bedsheets the United States that coughs all 
              night and won't let us sleep 
       I'm with you in Rockland 
              where we wake up electrified out of the coma 
              by our own souls' airplanes roaring over the 
              roof they've come to drop angelic bombs the 
              hospital illuminates itself imaginary walls col- 
              lapse O skinny legions run outside O starry 
              spangled shock of mercy the eternal war is 
              here O victory forget your underwear we're 
              free 
       I'm with you in Rockland 
              in my dreams you walk dripping from a sea- 
              journey on the highway across America in tears 
              to the door of my cottage in the Western night 

 

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The Importance of Forgiveness

The Importance of Forgiveness

forgivenessDarkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.  ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

So recently I had a really deep conversation with a friend.  My friend has something in the past that they’ve done, that they feel is unforgivable.  This idea, this thing is something that they think about fairly constantly, It is a weight that weighs them down.  It doesn’t allow them to feel worthy of joy or praise from others.  My friend doesn’t feel that they have the right to forgive themselves.

In our conversation I relayed to my friend that we have these types of things in our past.  I revealed something from my past that I have never been able to forgive myself for.  We all have these things, and like most pain, like most shame each person places their own subjective value on these things.  What one person has done that they feel is unforgivable, others have easily gotten past.  It’s what made the conversation so hard.  What my friend did was bad, there is no denying that.  However, I was proud of them for a couple of reasons.  First, they address the person they had wronged, apologized and asked to make amends.  The person they wrong forgave them and that’s how deep these things can go.  Even after being forgiven by the person they wronged, they have not been able to forgive themselves.

forgiveness quote

My friends it is important that we find a way to do this for ourselves and for others.  For as the piece below says, until you can forgive yourself it is harder to forgive and provide healing to others.  Below is a selection from a piece that discusses why it is important to forgive yourself and I think this is a good place to start this discussion.

Four Reasons to Forgive Yourself

From an article,  four reasons to forgive yourself, I’m copying out four really profound and important things for you to think about.

1. Release

Living life with unforgiveness of ourselves is like living life believing that there is a looming hammer over our heads waiting to drop down at any moment.

When we release ourselves and no longer feel like we are going to be punished spontaneously and brutally, we release that throbbing worry and live a life of freedom.

2. You deserve it.

We are all human, which means that we all make mistakes. It’s inevitable. It’s been said that the only things that are certain in life are death and taxes, but I am going to add one more lifetime guarantee: screwing up.

We will all have to forgive ourselves at some point for making a mistake, doing something wrong, being human, and simply screwing up.

3. Healing.

We can’t give what we don’t have. In the same way that we are guaranteed to make mistakes, those who we have relationships with will make mistakes as well.

We can forgive others once we forgive ourselves, and that results in healing and peace.

4. Growth.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.Ghandi

We don’t always need to be strong, but we always need to be growing. Growth and development should never stop. And, I think that’s what Ghandi meant in this quote. By constantly growing, we can achieve our goals and create a life that we love.

So what happens when we can’t forgive ourselves and how to we get to self-forgiveness?  Again I’m turning to someone else’s words from an article, 9 Tips When You Can’t Forgive Yourself.

First of all, what happens to someone when they can’t forgive themselves?

Here are just some of the ways you hurt yourself when you can’t forgive yourself:

You keep reliving what you’ve done.

You let it affect your decisions.

You feel paralyzed by your past.

You verbally abuse yourself, quietly in the recesses of your own heart.

You make yourself feel unworthy.

You are afraid to take healthy risks.

You spiral into despair.

You don’t try to make things better because you don’t think you deserve to make things better.

You struggle to forgive others.

You struggle to trust yourself

This is an incredibly similar description of where my friend is right now.   We talked about ways to move forward, why it was important, but from the same piece, some excellent advice about how to do that.

Here are 9 tips to consider when you can’t forgive yourself:

  1. Decide You Want to Let it Go

In my earlier forgiveness blog, I mentioned, “In the process of forgiving, the first barrier you have to remove is within your own mind. You must make the decision: I will not dwell on this incident.”  That decision doesn’t guarantee you’ll stop the mental video, but it draws a line in the sand that you have that goal. It’s a starting point.

  1. Look at What You’ve Done…Objectively

A big obstacle to forgiving yourself is the inability to see things objectively. Maybe what you did was a big deal…or maybe it just feels like it was. Pretend it was someone else who you love who did what you did. Ask yourself how you would view them. If you need to, look for help from someone you trust to examine what occurred.

  1. Own It, but Don’t be Owned by It

Taking responsibility for what you did is important. But one bad choice doesn’t have to own you or define you. You can’t control how others define you, but you can control how you define yourself.

  1. Grieve Your Loss

If a tragedy was averted in your situation, focus on the good of that, and be thankful. If, however, a tragic loss occurred, know that it’s okay to grieve the pain. Beating yourself up constantly is not a requirement of grief.

  1. Seek Forgiveness from Others, If Needed

Forgiveness from others can free you up to forgive yourself. If you haven’t yet, seek forgiveness from the person you hurt.

  1. Focus on What Can Be Learned

Everyone fails. Everyone stumbles. Everyone hurts others eventually. It’s part of the human experience and condition. But not everyone will learn from what they do. Be someone who is willing to learn from your past to benefit your future.

  1. Record Your Reflections

Sometimes capturing a record of your thoughts and feelings can help you face them honestly. Do some light journaling for a few days. Focus on what you are struggling to let go of and what you would do if you could be free of the burden of guilt you feel.

  1. Feel the Love

I hope you know someone in your life who loves you unconditionally. If so, draw them into your struggle—for encouragement. Their best help may be simply to listen well and to remind you that you are loved.

The advice in the article is incredibly good, I removed the ninth piece of advice because I’m not sure it works for everyone as it relies solely on religion and not everyone, including my friend, is religious.  If you are and are seeking that type of advice you can access the article and the ninth piece of advice via the link above.

Why I think this advice is so good is because it parallels the advice I give people about making mistakes.  We all make mistakes.  What is important is that you admit what you’ve done, that you take responsibility for it and not make excuses.  You need to address the people the mistake impacts and ask them how to make amends.  Then you do what is necessary to make up for the mistake and make it right.  This process, while in it, doesn’t feel good, but it is necessary and in the long run leads to you being a better person.

That’s what all of this advice is about, how you can move forward and be a better person.  Whether it’s correcting mistakes you’ve made, forgiving others for the wrongs they’ve committed against you, or more importantly, forgiving yourself for the things you’ve done to others, you have to forgive yourself so that you can move forward and be a better person.  Only by being a better person do you have the bandwidth and space to help others.

I’ll be honest friends, I have skeletons in my closet that I live with that I truly believe that if I told you what they were, you would lose all respect for me.  That loved ones would no longer love me and that I would be completely alone.  I think we all feel we have these types of things in our past.  I’ve felt that way for a long time.  It is only within the last couple of years that I’ve begun that process of self-forgiveness.  As I’ve worked through this, it has also allowed me to forgive those that have wronged me.  All of this has allowed me to move forward to a better place in life.  It is all part of the process of continually working harder to get better.  And part of being better is working to help others, to try and tilt that internal balance to a position where you have done more good than bad in this life.

I once attempted suicide, I pulled out the shotgun, loaded it, put the barrel in my mouth and awkwardly reached down for the trigger.  Happily I was too much of a coward to pull that trigger.  Eventually, I came to realize the level of gift that was, that by staying alive, no matter how much it hurt, allowed me to continue to work on being a better person, on helping others.  As you have no doubt realized reading this piece, in many ways this was written for the benefit of my friend.  I want my friend very much to understand that they are loved, that they can atone for their sins, they can work everyday to get better.  That most importantly they are worthy of joy and happiness in their life and if they continue to work and move forward they will have many happy days to come and are worthy of having them.  I want this for all of you as well my friends.  I extend a hug to all of you, and offer what tiny forgiveness I can offer you as a beginning, you are worthy of it, always remember that.  Have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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Please, slow down, relax and be kind

Please, slow down, relax and be kind

kindness, holidays

I’m convinced that probably everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.  It’s just one more reason to always be kind.                        ~ Yolanda Hadid

So this week we officially begin what we call the Holiday Season.  For me it is an utter and completely mixed bag and the deeper we get into it, quite frankly, the less I like it.

thanksgiving dinner, madness

We start with Thanksgiving this week and it’s my absolute favorite holiday every year.  I love the fall, I love football, I love being out in nature and  I love cooking and eating good food.  So take a holiday that for me traditionally encompasses all of that and I’m a pretty happy boy.

Of course what I’ve already started noticing this week is the coinciding start of the holiday madness.  I went to the grocery store yesterday and it was of course the Saturday before Thanksgiving.  Which as a former grocery store worker I know is the highest grossing day of the year for most stores.  So I mentally prepared for the madness, I also went at what is typically a bit of an off-time, early afternoon.  None the less, the store was much more crowded than normal, the parking lot more full and every customer more amped up than normal.  A perfect example was a woman driving down the parking lane, an older guy backing out in a pickup.  It’s hard to see and likely he didn’t see her.  She stopped fifteen feet away in no danger of a collision, not to let him out, but to lay on her horn aggressively, then drive passed him.  She easily could have stopped and let him out but chose instead to create tension.  It followed in the store with people being aggressive about getting passed you, yelling at their kids, being grouchy in the lanes waiting.

It’s exactly this tension that I dislike around this time of year.  Add to it extra tension on the roads and especially at airports and on airplanes.  It seems every year becomes the new largest travel year, more traffic and even more crowded airports.  Increasingly this year people find themselves going out more, shopping more and traveling more which puts them more often in these stressful situations and interactions.

holiday stress, cartoon

“Really! How many ‘How to Survive the Festive Season’ articles does one man need?”

So what are we to do?  We all can contribute to making it all just a little bit better.  We can slow down, relax and be kind.  I know, it’s not an easy request, being cut off in traffic, trying to find a parking spot, kids are yelling at you and more than that everything this time of year is set up to massively distract them.  Everywhere you turn there’s a kid focused display that gets them asking if they can see it, touch it, have it or go to that event.  People, who frankly, already act like they are the only ones everywhere, seem to even more so forgot the rest of us not only exist, but are in the same space.  There’s a lot of stress on all of us all of the time this time of year and I haven’t mentioned the financial stresses.

But I’m going to tell you something, while it seems like slowing down, relaxing and being kinder than normal will make things harder, it won’t.  First slow down, I know, there’s so much too be done.  But is it all necessary, or does it have to be done right now, it feels like it, but is that reality?  Slow down, don’t put yourself into the position of having to be hectic and pressed for time.  Relax, understand that you’re about to drive into madness, know the stress is coming.  So tell yourself that it’s coming and decide in advance not react, decide to let the person into traffic, let that person push into line in front of you.  Give yourself extra time, realize that being late won’t be the end of the world.  I know that’s not easy but I suggest you even go further.  Purposefully go slower than normal, hold more doors for people, let more people into traffic, simultaneous arrival at an empty spot, let the other person have it, or if they aggressively take it, say happy holidays instead of getting angry.

There are ways to avoid a lot of this as well.  Are there things you can order and do online instead of in person?  Do more advanced planning, do things whenever possible at off times.  Lower your expectations of how perfect things need to be for each holiday.  Yes that green bean casserole you make that takes an hour is super delicious and a bit of a tradition.  So what if you run out of time and don’t make it for dinner, it’s ok, forgive yourself in advance.  As much as possible take the stress off, ask for help if you need it, don’t just struggle and resent others for not helping.  Do your in-laws stress you out, then don’t have them stay with you for five days.  If you can afford it, put them up in a hotel for part of the time.  Or even suggest in alternate years they don’t come or you don’t go.  Remember that family traditions, if those traditions stress you out, are not worth continuing.  Create new traditions that aren’t so stressful.

Slow down, relax and be kind, after all, isn’t that what the holidays are supposed to be about?  Make it easier on yourself and have happy holidays my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Other Posts You Might Enjoy

Holiday Happiness: Accept, Appreciate, Believe In and Love Yourself

Holiday Happiness: Happy Foods

Happiness, Exercise and Holiday Depression

Funny Holiday Stories

 

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Happiness and Special Places

Happiness and Special Places

mojave, special places, travel

The Mojave Desert in bloom

I told the students that they were at the age when they might begin to choose places that would sustain them the rest of their lives, that places were more reliable than human beings, and often much longer-lasting, and I asked them where they felt at home ~ Rebecca Solnit

I think we all need special places, places we can go to in our mind to take a break from the world, places we can physically go to do the same thing.    Today  I’d like to mention a couple of the far-flung special places I keep in my heart and the one physical place I have near to my home.

There is a town on the west coast of Ireland called Doolin, to me it has always been a special place, even though I’ve only been there twice.  It would be hard for Doolin not to be special, I mean it’s a town that is focused on two things, traditional Irish music and surfing.  I’m not sure there is a finer combination of things to focus on.  It’s a place I spend cycling next to the ocean, drinking in the music and watching surfing, damn near heaven.

Ireland, travel, special places

Doolin 10:30PM on a June night.

Probably my most special foreign place is the second sacred lake in the Gokyo Valley in the Khumbu Region of Nepal.  I spent one amazing day there, sitting and meditating in the sun staring at my favorite peak in the Himalayas, Khan Tiega.

Gokyo Valley, Nepal, special places

Second Sacred Lake in the Gokyo Valley

As for something sort of close to my home I have a particular spot on a sea wall outside of Monterey that is incredibly special to me.  When I lived in that area I spent a lot of time sitting and thinking on that wall.

Lovers Points, special places, monterey

Lovers Points

It’s a ways from where I currently live and I don’t get there nearly often enough. I need to work on finding someplace closer to home, a place to be alone to recharge, I hope you have someplace like this my friends, if not, then take some time and look for one, it will soothe your soul and help you smile.  Have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

How travel makes you happier

Himalayan Travelogue

Happiness is Photography: Ireland

Happiness is Photography: Scotland

Happiness and Becoming Who You Are: My 1000th Post

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Deng Ming-Dao: Your Journey

Deng Ming-Dao: Your Journey

happiness journeyTonight a piece by Deng Ming-Dao on taking your own journey, give it a read and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Do you know
Where you are
On your Journey?

Tao’s movement has been compared to he flow of rivers. Its vastness has been compared to that of oceans.  some people are content to float here and there with the tide, but for others, such passivity is impossible.  We have to navigate.

Like early explorers on the high seas, we know where we want to go. That’s when studying precedence is important. The wisdom of those who went before us is a map. The truths regarding Tao are like the stars. We determine our goals, and we set out according to what we know and what we learn. The futures is always uncertain; that is why it is important to objectively evaluate where we are on our spiritual path.

If you are confronted with a pivotal decision and cannot think of any other way to act, write down all the good things and all the bad things about a given situation. Also include how much more you want to do. See if staying your course will give you what you want. If not, change, no matter how deeply that will disrupt your routines.  Some people never know where they are in life, and that is one of the biggest reasons that they are unhappy.

 

 

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Happiness, Gratitude & Compassion

Happiness, Gratitude & Compassion

We all have times when the world goes South on us, when nothing goes right, when in fact it seems like we are a bad luck charm for anyone we know or care about.  Life is hard and the world can be incredibly cruel.  We all lose people close to us well before their time and there is nothing harder than watching those you love cut down before their time.  We cannot stop or prevent this, we can only make the best of the time we have.  As cliché as it is, remember to tell those you love you care, do what you can for people when you can, you may not have the time to wait.  There is a great line in a Grateful Dead song, “no time hate, barely time to wait.”  Good advice from Jerry and the boys.  Be grateful for everything you have and don’t spend time wanting for what you don’t.

Be compassionate and help if you can my friends, touch people when and where you are, there may be nothing more important.  Have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Below is a touching story of people being kind to other people caught in bad times.

My grandmother is passing soon with cancer. I visited her the other day and she was telling me about how she really wanted soup, but not hospital soup because she said it tasted “awful” she went on about how she really would like some clam chowder from Panera. Unfortunately Panera only sells clam chowder on Friday. I called the manager Sue and told them the situation. I wasn’t looking for anything special just a bowl of clam chowder. Without hesitation she said absolutely she would make her some clam chowder. When I went to pick it up they wound up giving me a box of cookies as well. Its not that big of a deal to most, but to my grandma it meant a lot. I really want to thank Sue and the rest of the staff from Panera in Nashua NH just for making my grandmother happy. Thank you so much!

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Happiness is Making Sauce

Happiness is Making Sauce

 “To invite someone is to take charge of his happiness during the time he spends under your roof.” ~ Jean-Antheleme Brillat-Savarin

So the summer is in full swing and with it the garden as well.  One of my passions is growing tomatoes and particularly heirloom varieties that I hybridize with interesting results, here’s a picture of the recent crop, the coloration more about circumstance than variety.

 100_1619

Recently the heat has kicked up a bit and my tomatoes responded very positively and production is very high, I picked about 5 pounds today.  My Black Krim hybrids and even the Romas are in full swing.  So as will happen when I have a lot of tomatoes it’s time to make spaghetti sauce.  This little ritual which I have participated in for most of my adult life has its roots in one of the happiest places and times of my life.  For me, the happiest place on earth was not Walt Disney World, but Uncle Mikey’s cabin.  Uncle Mikey, the one below coming through the screen and standing next to my Uncle Joe, had a small cabin in a little place called Copake Lake.

 uncle mikey

Uncle Mikey was the constant host, constant open door, he was the guy who always had gum in his pockets for little kids, always a joke, a funny sound and always, always a pot of sauce on the stove.  He also had a big giant pool and a bocce ball court lovingly constructed by himself and a neighbor.   I’m not sure I can even count the number of happy childhood summer hours I spent in his cabin, at that pool, playing bocce with his father my Great Uncle Rocco, it was that memory we all share, those absolutely carefree and wonderful childhood summer moments.  Even if life was shit in every other way, we all had those pauses and spaces in between where life couldn’t be better.  That was Uncle Mikey’s cabin and the smell of cooking sauce always brings me back there.  So today for a time I was back there in my head and having what I hope you are having as well, a very happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

Happiness and the Benefits of Gratitude

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Happiness is a Choice

Writing Away the Darkness

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