My Student Loan Gratitude and Happiness

My Student Loan Gratitude and Happiness

Recently there was a story on Marketplace about student loan debt.  It banged on the student loan system a bit and although I agreed with some of the points, I felt like I needed to respond and point out that student loans can also be a good thing.  And that I’m grateful and even happy about my loan debt. ~ Rev Kane

Dear Mr. Ryssdal,

That sounds funny to me, after to listening to so many episodes of Marketplace it feels odd not to call you Kai.  I’m writing in respect to a story you did recently on student loans and to be completely open, I’m posting this letter as a post on my blog the Ministry of Happiness (Revkane.com) and I’ve posted the post link at the top of the email if you prefer to read this there.

My name is Michael Kane and I think I have a unique perspective on student loans and student loan debt issues.  You see when I ended an excessively long college career (19 years) in 2002 I had $200,000 in educational debt.  I owed $140,000 in federal student loans as well as $60,000 in short-term credit card dept.  Additionally, both during my education and since, I have worked in higher education in various roles from academic advisor, instructor, program director and the last 15 years as a dean.

Most people assume that I am someone who would be rather upset about student loan debt and the system around it.  And don’t get me wrong, I see the issues and problems with the providers and the way the system is administered and have my own ideas about changes that could be made.  However, the major feeling I possess around student loans is gratitude and happiness.   I grew up with a single mom who didn’t make a whole lot of money.  When I first went to college in 1982 I was a smart kid who had some scholarships and had chosen a really good engineering school to go to, the Rochester Institute of Technology.  It took me almost two years but I failed out of that college.  I failed out due to a lack of maturity, some personal issues, and a really poor choice of major.  Leaving the college, for the rest of whatever academic path I would follow I was after that on my own to pay for it.  I’d blown the one chance my parents could afford to give me and I blew it up in fairly spectacular fashion.

After some time I got my shit together and started to move forward again.  Again, I’m a smart guy, I got scholarships, I worked while I went to school, I became a resident assistant.  Basically I did whatever I needed to do to get my education, because I knew it was my path out of a life I really didn’t want to live.  But I also wandered through 14 undergraduate majors, got a master’s degree, then took a left turn through law school for a year and eventually through a PhD program that ended with me being ABD, all but dissertation.  With all of this you might think again, that I’m bitter, I’m not.  You see my educational journey was full of learning, amazing people and experiences.  I’ve ended up working in the California Community College system.  At this point, 15 years into my career, I have a great job.  I make more money in a year than twice what my father ever made in a single year and four times more than my mother ever earned in a single year.  Basically, in many ways, I am the very definition of the American Dream and I fear the last generation that will have the opportunity to be that.

So education, even in the twisty and nutty way I traveled through it, did what it promises to do, it changed my life for the better which of course then impacts the future generations of my family.  So for that reason alone, I’m grateful to what education has done for me and I couldn’t have done it without the support of the student loans I received.

The story I recently heard on your program talked about how problematic it is that students come out with 20 or 30K in debt.  How this keeps them from starting a family, buying a home, basically delaying all of the things required in the American Script.  Not that I’m implying that doesn’t happen, but questioning how that is a problem, if in return for that delay people have climbed the economic ladder thus improving their future and their family’s future?

There have been a lot of problems with the way we do higher education in America.  My career direction discussion in high school happened with my counselor, who also had been my little league coach, and it took five minutes.  I was good in math and science, dad worked for a power company, tadaaaa electrical engineering.  I said ok, filled out the applications and went to college.  Now we know better, we’re reaching out to eighth graders and getting them started, doing programs like guided pathways that help students ease into more general areas before picking a final major.  We work more to develop connections for the students, the number one reason they drop out is lack of connection to the college.  We are also getting better coaching students through successful transfer and or job entry.  Making sure students have work experiences and the type of things that make them more attractive to employers.  And even in one of the least expensive higher education systems in America, we’re working on ways to make community college cost even less, or free.  We’re even working with students at the high school level who know their pathway, through dual enrollment, to get these students done even more quickly and less expensively.

Even with all of this, students who come from modest or worse financial backgrounds, may still need assistance via student loans to achieve their educational goals.  These are good student loans and good student loan debt.  These students coming out with 20 or 30K in debt are not doing themselves a disservice, they’re investing in and changing their lives.  I have sympathy for these folks but honestly, I doubt they are the ones complaining or upset about their loans.  They likely get, as I do, the opportunity it has provided them.

The people I really have absolutely have no sympathy for, are people like a woman I read about who went $160,000 in debt to get a photography degree.  I’m not saying people should only take loans to get high paying careers, or even match their loan debt reasonably to what their careers will pay, but it is a reasonable way to approach student loan debt.  But to amass the type of debt I did, to go into a field with relatively little employment opportunity and low salaries for those who do get work seems personally irresponsible and not a reason to condemn the system.  I recently met someone who has over $200K for a degree in holistic medicine to really drive home the point.

We need to improve the system.  There have been some recent fixes to the teaching loan forgiveness programs and this is a good start.  We need to change the for-profit nature of the student loan business and assure interest rates are at a reasonable level and don’t vary so wildly.  We need to make sure that loan forgiveness programs are reasonable, easy to participate in and clearly state their criteria.  I’m also not against some student loan forgiveness in general, but I admit that forgiving people who just made irresponsible decisions doesn’t sit well with me, even if having these programs in existence would benefit me and the remaining $80,000 in debt I still have.

Finally, educational systems are doing a better job of informing and educating students about the process, loans and the financial consequences of their actions, but we need to continue to get better and to make education more affordable.

So in summary, I think we need to not be so harsh on the idea of student loans, but do a better job with them, some of us have far better lives than would have ever been possible, without the existence of these types of programs.  Thanks for listening ~ Michael Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Happiness Resources

Happiness Resources

dogs happiness happy

Happy Dogs

Good evening friends, our weekly tour around the net to see what we can find to help us on our path, have a happy day ~ Rev Kane

Nine happiness lessons we can learn from dogs.

What makes us happy?  A piece from the Atlantic Magazine 

Are extroverts happier than introverts?  A piece from Psychology Today

And finally a little Bob Marley to make us all a bit happier

 

Posted in happiness resources | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Happiness at the Margin

Happiness at the Margin

desert sunset

All experience is an arch wherethrough gleams that untravelled world whose margin fades for ever and for ever when I move. ~ Alfred Lord Tennyson

So it’s been a crazy few weeks.  I’ve driven a couple of  thousand of miles while I’ve been driving up and down the state of California interviewing for jobs, drove 800 miles over two days last week.  I’ve got a little break, hopefully this all wraps up soon, and so I decided to float down to one of my favorite places Anza-Borrego State Park.  I checked the weather and it’s unseasonably cool for late April, highs in the low 90s, lows in the high 50’s.  It is still the desert and so you hunker down when the sun is high and you emerge in the mornings and in the late afternoons.  There are almost no tourists here right now, it’s the beginning of the hot season and they have, for the most part, all fled.

So it’s absolutely beautiful and absolutely quiet here right now.  This morning I went out to the pool, had it all to myself, and got my allotted 10 minutes of sun after a little swim.  Then just laid in the shade for an hour and took in the silence, no book, no phone just me and the breeze and the palm trees.

As the sun slid behind the mountain I went out for a walk and headed into town to get some dinner.  There’s a place here that makes an amazing Enchiladas Verdes and I stop in every time I come through Borrego Springs.

I love the desert, especially when it’s quiet and uninhabited.  There is something here, at sunset, at the margin of everything that brings me peace.  My head clears, I feel a bit more alive and a bit more connected here, at this time,  than anywhere else except maybe the ocean.  So a quick little post tonight about peace and quiet and how important it is to find it and just stop for a bit. Have a peaceful and happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Happiness is Art: Van Gogh, Picasso, Monet & Chihuly

Happiness is Art: Van Gogh, Picasso, Monet & Chihuly

01The main thing is to be moved, to love, to hope, to tremble, to live.                       ~ Auguste Rodin

01Tonight we revisit some of my favorite art posts, enjoy and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

The Paintings of Van Gogh

The Art of Monet

02

The Glasswork of Chihuly

The Art of Pablo Picasso

01

Some Other Posts You May Enjoy!

Happiness is Art: Storytelling

Great Paintings

Street Art

The Art of Burning Man

Sculptures in the Desert

Happiness is Sculptural Weaving

 

 

 

 

Posted in Happiness is Art | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Give me time & attention and I’ll be happy

Give me time & attention & I’ll be happy

be happy, human contact

A hug to be happy

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. ~ Leo Buscaglia

There is something we all learn when we are children.  There are people in our lives who when they show up, bring us presents but don’t pay much attention to us.  Children are happy to see them, but only for the few minutes when they first arrive.  There are other people in our lives who show up, with or without presents, who make the time to pay attention to us.  We love those people dearly and are always excited when they arrive.

When I was a child I knew exactly who these people were.  My Granny was someone who gave attention, affection and appreciation and I loved her dearly.  My Uncle Mikey was someone like this as well, as a very young child Uncle Mikey always had some gum or candy in his pockets.  As I got older he had the house with the pool where we would all go swimming a place where his attention was nearly unlimited.  I also had people in my life as a child who were supposed to care about me, but they gave cash or toys, but rarely their time or attention, even when we spent time together.  Attention breeds affection and demonstrates caring and without that, no matter what your relationship, your connection to that person fades over time.

Attention, affection, be happy

Attention, Affection and Appreciation

Giving your time and attention

Remembering and knowing this I have really tried to make sure that I focused on attention, affection and appreciation with my nieces and nephews.  Not just because I should, but because I want to, they are really amazing little people.  I really and truly enjoy nothing more than having conversations with them about their lives and what they think about things.  Living 3000 miles away from them there is never quite enough time.  I was blessed for a while a couple of years ago to spend a lot of time with some of them and it was fantastic.  Of course part of the joy is the absolute two-way street of the situation, in return for my attention I get their attention as well and it’s absolutely wonderful.

This whole idea is something I think a lot of us understand with children but forget with the adults in our lives.  The reality is what works with children in this respect also works with adults.  So remember this my friends with the children in your life.  A toy through the mail brings a smile, a chat on the phone or over Facetime or Skype is attention and it brings affection.  Your time matters, give it to them.  Of course this is exactly how it works with adults as well, conversation is giving your time and attention.  Interact with the people you care about, don’t just assume they are there for you.  Sure, those who you have the most connection with will hang on the longest, but without the time and attention, affection decreases, don’t let that happen with the people who are important to you.  Because perhaps, that is the true measure of who really is important.  Reach out, connect and have a happier day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Other Happiness Posts You’ll Like!

Happy Anniversary – Ministry of Happiness: Our Best Posts

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Remember the Sweet Things

Happiness is Taking Risks

Appalachian Trail Happiness: Acceptance is the Way

Happiness is Not Safety

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Effort of Happiness, Visualization, Altruism and Gratitude

The Effort of Happiness, Visualization, Altruism and Gratitude

glass

What a wonderful life I’ve had!  I only wish I’d realized it sooner.  ~ Colette

So is there any actual benefit to all of these things we have been talking about?  I mean really, aren’t people’s personality types predetermined?  You know, some people are just naturally happier than others, the so-called sunny disposition, aren’t some of us are just set to be glum?  The field of positive psychology studies just this type of question and surprisingly the answer is wholly unsatisfying, the answer is sort of.  It seems that we do all have a predisposition in one direction or another; I personally call it the yippy-skippy scale.  Some of us are very yippy-skippy, in the midst of the worst disaster imaginable they would be singing and whistling a tune.  Others have a harder time being happy even at the most auspicious moment.

However, this is only a predisposition and in the article below the indication is that the research suggests that the predisposition is only about 50% of the picture.  In fact, according to researchers in the field of positive psychology about 40% of what determines how happy we are is in fact completely under our control.  So there is reason for us to keep working at it, a reason to continue to try and be happier.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/how-happiness/200805/what-influences-our-happiness-the-most

In addition to the piece above, here is a piece concerning steps to how to be happier including the fact that three activities can truly help, visualizing a more positive self, helping others and expressing gratitude.  This is why lately you have suddenly seen a lot of people expressing gratitude through various wellness programs.  The link is below:

http://www.spring.org.uk/2007/11/3-happiness-enhancing-activities-with.php

So we keep working at it, because it’s not only possible but worth it, have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

Happiness and the Benefits of Gratitude

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Happiness is a Choice

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Happiness is Poetry: Frank O’Hara

Happiness is Poetry: Frank O’Hara

happiness, poetry

Tonight we feature the poet Frank O’Hara, another recommendation from Suzanne Burns.  Give these pieces a read and enjoy! ~ Rev Kane

 

AVE MARIA

Mothers of America
let your kids go to the movies!
get them out of the house so they won’t know what you’re up to
it’s true that fresh air is good for the body
but what about the soul
that grows in darkness, embossed by silvery images
and when you grow old as grow old you must
they won’t hate you
they won’t criticize you they won’t know
they’ll be in some glamorous country
they first saw on a Saturday afternoon or playing hookey

they may even be grateful to you
for their first sexual experience
which only cost you a quarter
and didn’t upset the peaceful home
they will know where candy bars come from
and gratuitous bags of popcorn
as gratuitous as leaving the movie before it’s over
with a pleasant stranger whose apartment is in the Heaven on Earth Bldg
near the Williamsburg Bridge
oh mothers you will have made the little tykes
so happy because if nobody does pick them up in the movies
they won’t know the difference
and if somebody does it’ll be sheer gravy
and they’ll have been truly entertained either way
instead of hanging around the yard
or up in their room
hating you
prematurely since you won’t have done anything horribly mean yet
except keeping them from the darker joys
it’s unforgivable the latter
so don’t blame me if you won’t take this advice
and the family breaks up
and your children grow old and blind in front of a TV set
seeing
movies you wouldn’t let them see when they were young

*************************************************************

A TRUE ACCOUNT OF TALKING TO THE SUN AT FIRE ISLAND

The Sun woke me this morning loud
and clear, saying “Hey! I’ve been
trying to wake you up for fifteen
minutes. Don’t be so rude, you are
only the second poet I’ve ever chosen
to speak to personally
so why
aren’t you more attentive? If I could
burn you through the window I would
to wake you up. I can’t hang around
here all day.”
“Sorry, Sun, I stayed
up late last night talking to Hal.”

“When I woke up Mayakovsky he was
a lot more prompt” the Sun said
petulantly. “Most people are up
already waiting to see if I’m going
to put in an appearance.”
I tried
to apologize “I missed you yesterday.”
“That’s better” he said. “I didn’t
know you’d come out.” “You may be
wondering why I’ve come so close?”
“Yes” I said beginning to feel hot
wondering if maybe he wasn’t burning me
anyway.

“Frankly I wanted to tell you
I like your poetry. I see a lot
on my rounds and you’re okay. You may
not be the greatest thing on earth, but
you’re different. Now, I’ve heard some
say you’re crazy, they being excessively
calm themselves to my mind, and other
crazy poets think that you’re a boring
reactionary. Not me.

Just keep on
like I do and pay no attention. You’ll
find that people always will complain
about the atmosphere, either too hot
or too cold too bright or too dark, days
too short or too long.
If you don’t appear
at all one day they think you’re lazy
or dead. Just keep right on, I like it.

And don’t worry about your lineage
poetic or natural. The Sun shines on
the jungle, you know, on the tundra
the sea, the ghetto. Wherever you were
I knew it and saw you moving. I was waiting
for you to get to work.

And now that you
are making your own days, so to speak,
even if no one reads you but me
you won’t be depressed. Not
everyone can look up, even at me. It
hurts their eyes.”
“Oh Sun, I’m so grateful to you!”

“Thanks and remember I’m watching. It’s
easier for me to speak to you out
here. I don’t have to slide down
between buildings to get your ear.
I know you love Manhattan, but
you ought to look up more often.

And
always embrace things, people earth
sky stars, as I do, freely and with
the appropriate sense of space. That
is your inclination, known in the heavens
and you should follow it to hell, if
necessary, which I doubt.

Maybe we’ll
speak again in Africa, of which I too
am specially fond. Go back to sleep now
Frank, and I may leave a tiny poem
in that brain of yours as my farewell.”

“Sun, don’t go!” I was awake
at last. “No, go I must, they’re calling
me.”
“Who are they?”
Rising he said “Some
day you’ll know. They’re calling to you
too.” Darkly he rose, and then I slept.

**************************************

SONG

I am stuck in traffic in a taxicab
which is typical
and not just of modern life

mud clambers up the trellis of my nerves
must lovers of Eros end up with Venus
muss es sein? es muss nicht sein, I tell you

how I hate disease, it’s like worrying
that comes true
and it simply must not be able to happen

in a world where you are possible
my love
nothing can go wrong for us, tell me

**************************************

Finally a video of Frank O’Hara, from 1966 reading his poem, Having a Coke with You.

 

RELATED ARTICLES

Happiness is Poetry: Pablo Neruda

Happiness is Poetry: William Blake

Happiness is Poetry: Even More Bukowski

 

Posted in Happiness is Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Happiness & Relaxation

Happiness & Relaxation

The sensation of energy expands with increasing relaxation. ~ Ilchi Lee

cupcake

I think today’s post falls into the category of duh philosophy.  You know it’s like when people tell you exercise is good for you, duh.  But we all need time to decompress, I think we all get this from the vantage point of taking vacations, although I think many of us take vacations that stress us out more than our non-vacation lives.  A bit of advice, if your vacation includes multiple schedules and destinations, if you’re concerned about how things will work or if they will time out, then your vacation is liable to make you more stressed than relaxed.

However what I’m talking about today is more of the daily relaxation.  We all need to find that few minutes or bit of time each day to relax.  Some people meditate in the morning or at night, others go to the gym or for a run.  Some people find fifteen minutes a day just to sit somewhere quiet or take a walk away from work or home.  Heck, take a ten minute walk to the store and get a piece of chocolate everyday, whatever will give you peace and a little bit of a break.  I see lots of articles about how having a drink or two each day is good for you, in my opinion it’s not the drink, it’s that the people who do that take a little bit of time to relax each day, we should follow their example with or without the alcohol.

For me, photography is one of the ways I relax, shooting pictures and even the organizing and sharing them is very relaxing for me.  Photography is usually a big part of any time off I take and this past couple of weeks was no exception.  So, in hopes of giving you a reason to take a couple of minutes to relax and hopefully raise a smile or two, here are a few shots from  an arts festival in the Nevada desert, enjoy and have a happy day my friends             ~ Rev Kane

Other Photography Posts You Might Enjoy!

Polar Bears & Northern Lights

Mardi Gras in Mobile

Scotland

The Himalayas

Ireland

 

 

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Happiness & Acceptance

Happiness & Acceptance

acceptance, acceptance is the way, happiness, Be happy

Acceptance is the way

Happiness can only exist in acceptance ~ George Orwell

“Acceptance is a beautiful thing, but it’s also something that I’ve struggled to master. Acceptance, the opposite of resistance, is simply allowing things to be as they are, and acknowledging internally that they are what they are. Nothing more, nothing less.”  This is a quote I took from a blog post on happiness.  I feel this concept is of major importance to all of us, which is why when I started this endeavor I named the church, the Church of Abnormal Acceptance and the ministry the Ministry of Happiness, I really feel the two are ultimately intertwined.

Acceptance is essential to personal happiness, in order to be happy you have to accept yourself.  This for many people is not an easy thing.  The very concept of looking into the mirror and saying hey I’m ok, or even better, hey I’m great, is not something that a lot of us can do and believe.  But it is imperative that you get to that point in order to be happy.

Very simply what these means is that you need to accept yourself as you are right at this moment.  Yes, you have faults, none of us are perfect and accepting your faults is part of the process.  Accepting your faults is not the same as condoning your faults.  Acceptance is the first step to improvement and change.  We’ve talked before about the importance feeling safe and the safest you will ever feel is when you’ve accepted yourself and realized you’re a good person.  One who can get better, but is good none-the-less.

So let’s start this week with a simple exercise, before you go to bed tonight, and when you get up in the morning look at yourself in the mirror and say these words, “I’m ok, and I will get better.”  In the beginning you may not even believe it, but do it for 21 days, that’s all it takes to form a new habit, and let’s see how you feel after three weeks.  You are ok my friends, and so much more than that, have a happy day ~ Rev Kane

Other Happiness Posts You Might Enjoy!

Happy Anniversary – Ministry of Happiness: Our Best Posts

Happiness is Taking Risks

Appalachian Trail Happiness: Acceptance is the Way

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Happiness is New York City

Happiness is New York City

happiness, new york

A really amazing mural in Little Italy, my favorite piece in the city

Give me such shows — give me the streets of Manhattan! ~ Walt Whitman

Coming home to New York, since the birth of my nephew Yogi, also means a trip to NYC,Little Italy specifically where my little one year-old nephew resides.  He’s a magnificently huge child, neither of his parents are large but Yogi is the biggest 1 year-old kid I know.  He’s also horribly terrified of his Uncle Mike, he cries when we chat on Skype and he howls when I invade his apartment.  It almost makes me long for when he was 3 months old and went right into my arms.

Now I know his reticence is temporary and by time he’s 2 we’ll be fast friends.  In the meantime I visit and try to as gingerly as possible invade his space.  On my third visit we reached a bit of detente and he even let me pull him around in his inflatable ducky, victory!  Well a victory of a sorts, still great to see him, my brother and sister-in-law, really love spending time with them.

Of course they live in Little Italy so a plate of gnocci was in order as well as a fabulous cannoli.  I even negotiated myself into a lovely $4 hat featured in the picture below.  It was really cold in Manhattan on Saturday and I had forgotten my hat.  Putting the new one on I realized I looked like some Norwegian fisherman who had invaded the city.

One of the highlights of this trip was getting to see my friend Erik, someone I hadn’t seen since he left California in the early 90’s.  We were first year law students together, he continued on and I walked away after that first year, but we remained friends and it was wonderful to see him, we’ve only recently reconnected via Facebook and his greeting was quintessentially him, “So what have you been doing for the last 20 years and why are you so damn happy!”  I couldn’t have hoped for a better opening, the truth is he is pretty happy these days as well, something neither of us could have claimed all of those years ago.Both of us have dealt with some personal demons and are on paths to doing what really makes us happy in life.  It was a wonderful conversation and I’m thankful we were able to connect.

happiness, friendsd

Erik and I on a chilly day in NYC

I do love visiting NYC, I love a city where people walk, where there is massive diversity and you can hear 3 languages or more on the same block.  I really love how available good pizza is and all of the different food options that are literally everywhere.  So it was a great weekend of friends, food and family, I hope you had an equally happy weekend my friends ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment