The Ministry of Happiness

Sex and Happiness

Posted on May 6, 2018 by Michael Kane

Sex and Happiness

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love ~ Tom Robbins

So today I decided to take a little tour around the web and see what I might come up with on the topics of sex and happiness. I found some interesting and surprising pieces, the first one is especially good, enjoy and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

The five keys to sexual happiness.

46 proven ways to increase your happiness and one way to have more sex, this is a really amazing piece!

Apparently thinking you have more sex than your neighbors makes you happy.

Money buys happiness but not sex.

Sex and happiness

Happiest People Have Sex Once a Week

Always Keep Learning

Posted on May 3, 2018 by Michael Kane

Always Keep Learning

Rev Kane at Burning Man 2017

Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored. ~ Earl Nightingale

Each Sunday I sit down to think what I’m going to write about for my Ministry of Happiness of post. This week, thinking about it while I was on the treadmill at the gym, I realized what I had learned this week. More importantly, it was reminder that none of us are done a product. It’s ironic, the one thing we want to do as children is to be bigger, to grow up and be an adult. We’re convinced that being an adult is the goal, kind of like mixing batter is being a kid, but a fully baked cake is being an adult. We’re so naive as children, and sometimes that naivety bleeds into adulthood. There are times when we think just for a little bit that we’ve got things worked out. That thought seems to be a taunt to the universe to show us differently.

I have come to believe over the last few years that I might not have the capability to experience romantic love anymore. It’s not the first time I’ve felt this way, I very acutely remember having this feeling while living in Salinas about 16 years ago, it was about five minutes later that I fell madly in love with someone and fell harder than I never had before. Now that didn’t happen last week, what hit me was more of a quick infatuation, but it’s something I haven’t felt for a long time, possibility.

The Meaning of Life

This comes at a strange time for me, it always seem to be the case doesn’t it. I’m at a point right now where I’m wondering if I should continue the plan I’ve put in place or make a radical change. This feeling has been building for a while and I know soon I either commit to my original plan and carry it out, or drop the hammer and make a big change. The default world has been chewing me up lately, not sure I can keep going the way I’m going. I spent a little time in the mountains this weekend, it’s a great place to get your head clear. I need some more time there to figure things out. At the end of the day my dilemma is all about one thing, feeding my passion. I have a good job, but my passion is starving.

Find what you love and let it kill you ~ Charles Bukowski

The lesson in all of this is that we are never a finished product. We always have to stay soft and pliable enough to grow in a different direction, like a young tree bending toward the sun. We’re never too old to learn, never too old to change, never too old to take a risk. ~ Rev Kane

Random Happiness – Videos: Inspiration, Kindness, Gratitude

Posted on May 1, 2018 by Michael Kane

Random Happiness – Videos: Inspiration, Kindness, Gratitude

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart ~ Helen Keller

So tonight a collection of videos that can inspire us to bigger and better things in life, words to touch our hearts, make us better people and have better days my friends ~ Rev Kane

Short videos, less than 3 minutes in length

Kid gives an inspirational speech after learning how to ride a bike (1:11)

This is a great 1-minute video that will be blacked out during the Olympics starting January 30th, check it out today. (1:04)

A great message from a son, about his mother (2:30)

Videos of medium length, less than 10 minutes

Vets returning home (3:32)

Paraplegic goes surfing (4:42)

The benefits of Laughing Yoga with John Cleese (3:48)

Long videos, longer than 10 minutes

This is Water – A commencement address by David Foster Wallace (22:44)

Coach Jimmy Valvano’s 1993 ESPY Acceptance Speech, prepare to weep, this is one of the greatest single speeches I’ve ever heard. (11:15)

Posted in Random Happiness | Tagged family, gratitude, happiness, inspiration, kindness, random, speeches, videos, yoga | 4 Comments

April is National Poetry Month

Posted on April 29, 2018 by Michael Kane

April is National Poetry Month

Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance ~ Carl Sandburg

We’re wrapping up National Poetry Month and so as a goodbye to April here’s a list of some amazing poets and their work. Enjoy, and have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Edgar Allan Poe

Edgar Allan Poe

Allen Ginsberg

Raina Maria Rilke

Leonard Cohen

Leonard Cohen

William Blake

Dylan Thomas

Charles Bukowski

Charles Bukowski

Rumi

Maya Angelou

Langston Hughes

Langston Hughes

Pablo Neruda

Posted in Happiness is Poetry | Tagged charles bukowski, edgar allan poe, langston hughes, poem, poems, poet, poetry, reading poetry, robert frost, rumi | Leave a comment

What makes you happy?

Posted on April 28, 2018 by Michael Kane

What makes you happy?

Only one thing has to change for us to know happiness in our lives: where we focus our attention~Greg Anderson

We talk a lot about the elements of overall happiness here but sometimes you just want to do something that makes you happy. As easy as that sounds often we default back to laying around, a movie or eating food that we like but isn’t all that good for us. Most of this things provide a momentary bit of happiness but leave us feeling a little less happy in the end. So we should do something that makes us happy that truly increases our overall happiness. So as easy that should be, how do you determine what makes you happy?

Here’s a good piece from a wiki on determining What makes you happy? I think the questions are really good especially the ideas about paying attention to what raises your level of energy and what activities help you lose track of time. Currently I’ve been engaged in one of the activities that does this for me, gardening, harvesting and canning what I produce from my garden. This weekend I’ll be canning salsa, freezing and making pasta sauce and finally making a little pumpkin – bacon soup. Really excited to make this in the morning and thought I’d share the recipe with all of you so that you can make a little pumpkin soup for yourself and truly have a delicious and happy day. ~ Rev Kane

Pumpkin Soup with Bacon
makes about 8 cups

1/2 pound of bacon
1 yellow onion, chopped
1 clove of garlic, minced
3 # of squash or pumpkin flesh, seeded, peeled and cubed
5 C of water
salt and freshly ground pepper
2 T fresh thyme leaves
2 thick slices good bread, torn into small, rough pieces.

Fry up the bacon in a soup pot. When it’s done, remove the bacon and drain. Pour off one tablespoon of the fat into a medium-sized frying pan, leaving the rest in the pot (unless it seems like too much, in which case you can spoon off some more and save it for another use.) You should have enough to coat the bottom of the pan.

Fry up the onions in the bacon fat until they are translucent. Add the garlic and cook gently for about 2 minutes or until it is fragrant. Add a few pinches of salt and a few turns of the pepper mill. Add the squash and water, bring to a boil and lower the heat to a simmer. Cook until the squash is very soft, about 20-30 minutes. Puree the soup until very smooth. I recommend using a stick blender. Otherwise do it in batches in the blender, being careful not to splatter the hot soup.

While the soup is simmering, sauté the bread in the bacon fat, crumbling in the reserved bacon until the bread begins to color and crisp. If the mixture seems too dry, add a splash of olive oil. Season with salt, if needed, and pepper.

To serve, ladle the soup into bowls and sprinkle on about 2 tablespoons of the bread/bacon mixture in each bowl. Garnish with the thyme leaves.

Eight Characteristics of Happy People and How to Become One

Posted on April 26, 2018 by Michael Kane

Eight Characteristics of Happy People and How to Become One

So tonight we start with 8 characteristics of happy people as presented by The Happiness Institute. Characteristics are great, but how do you get to have these characteristics, so I’m linking you back to some posts on the Ministry of Happiness where we’ve discussed these. Enjoy, and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Like themselves – no one is perfect (Happiness and being perfect) and (Happiness and acceptance)

Believe they’re in control of their lives – being in control means you can take a Happiness Day when you want or need one.

Are more optimistic – step one stop being so cynical (Happiness and Cynicism)

Tend to more socially outgoing – one way to interact more with the world and be more special is to travel, Happiness & Travel

Have more and better quality relationships – this starts with first selecting who will be in your life (Happiness and Selected Families)

Believe in something greater/bigger than themselves – for me this is my selected family and friends here’s a little taste of why, a story about the Dude.

Feel that their lives are in balance – How to bring your life into balance

Are more curious and creative – Happiness and being child-like

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged balance, creative, extrovert, family, happiness, optimism, selected families, travel | Leave a comment

The Importance of Balance in Losing Weight

Posted on April 25, 2018 by Michael Kane

The Importance of Balance

Balance and Happiness

Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony. ~ Thomas Merton

The Importance of Balance in Losing Weight

We have talked about balance many times on this blog. Normally I’m writing about things like the balance between work and play. Encouraging you all to make sure you find time for yourselves in between of all of your life responsibilities. One of the things balance helps with is reducing stress. When things are in balance you have a tendency to not be so stressed.

Losing Weight

Although I have a pretty thorough understanding of balance and in fact am someone who writes and does talks on life and work balance, even I forget sometimes how important balance can be. Last year I decided to try to lose some weight and I was pretty successful. I dropped about 30 pounds and got down to around 190. Over the last year I put about 10 pounds back on and recently I decided that I’d like to drop another 20 pounds and get down to 180.

How I lost weight

So, I did what I normally do to drop pounds. First, I started eating like I should in the first place given that I’m a borderline diabetic. So, I cut out my more than occasional coke. I control my portion sizes better and really start to be careful about the number of carbs I eat on a daily basis. So basically focusing the majority of my diet on protein (meat, beans and nuts) and vegetables, I eat at least one bowl of salad each day. That’s pretty much the recipe, and I know, you’re wondering where in this is the workout piece? The fact is I work out 4-5 days every week, so in fact my weight really isn’t related to my workout schedule. Sure, if I wasn’t working out, it would be harder to lose and certainly easier to gain weight, but working out is such an integral part of my life now that it’s not really a factor in this process.

So I initiated this process, I was at about 204 the first morning and very quickly started losing weight. My goal was to hit 180 by my birthday at the end of August. That meant I needed to lose about 2 pounds a week over the period of time I had left. I started out really well and quickly got down to about 194. I was feeling pretty good about having dropped the 10 pounds. Well then things kind of stalled for a couple of weeks, that happens and I unfortunately wasn’t patient like I should have been. So I pushed a little bit, mistake, I did some fasting, not for the right reasons, but just to cut calories. It worked a bit, I dropped another couple of pounds but I stalled again Then it happened.

Being an Emotional Eater

I’m most certainly an emotional eater, I could explain the connections back to my childhood and how that developed but my purpose is not to bore you to tears in this post or to make you feel sorry for me. Unfortunately, some things went wrong in my personal life, some shit piled on at work and my mood shifted. I gave myself a small break and let my eating slide a bit, but the stress I was under didn’t let up. So, I continued to slip and eventually just gave in. The crazy thing about weight, as hard as it is to lose, man it comes back fast and within a couple of weeks I’d put most of the weight back on.

My mistake was that I pushed to hard, I allowed things to get out of balance on a number of fronts and things spiraled. I finally got my head right a couple of weeks ago, and I’ve changed my goals, I’m hoping for 180 by the end of the year. That means that I’m back to a much more reasonable pace of about a pound a week. Not easy, but much more manageable than what I’d been doing.

Hopefully focusing on the importance of balance will help me in losing weight the way I want to. More importantly staying balanced in your life helps you be happy. So keep yourself balanced and have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Happiness Resources: Balance

Happiness, Health and Balance

Getting back to Basics to be happy

Happy Anniversary – Ministry of Happiness: Our Best Posts

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged balace, balance, be happy, emotional eating, gaining weight, happiness, losing weight, stress, weight loss | Leave a comment

Think like a millennial

Posted on April 23, 2018 by Michael Kane

Think like a millennial

Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life ~ Dolly Parton

I heard it again at a meeting this week. Something I hear quite frequently, “millennials are concerned with life/work balance.” The thing is, the sentence is always said with slight disdain and I’ve even heard it said even more directly and derisively. It seems to be a statement suggesting that there is something wrong with millennials because they think the idea that they should enjoy life and be happy. That somehow, they are lazy, or weak that something is lacking in them for not wanting to work like a dog but to actually balance their work life with a fulfilling and happy personal life.

Delayed gratification is a fickle mistress

I’m always a little shocked when I hear this, then I remember that in America we have always been concerned with the idea of the American Dream. That dream involves working hard, moving up the corporate ladder, buying a house, getting married, having children and educating them in the same dream, and then someday when you retire taking some time to travel and go fishing. Nothing in the American Dream talks about being happy or keeping balance in our lives. We are supposed to work until retirement and THEN worry about our own happiness. The problem with that plan of course is that many people don’t make it to retirement, many who do are not physically able at that point, to do the things they would like to do. Deferred gratification can be a fickle mistress.

A slower pace of life can make you happy

The first millennial

So it seems that the parents of the millennials, younger baby boomers and older Gen Xers have failed the American Dream and produced a generation that believes that they should both work hard and be happy, perhaps a realization of the ephemeral nature of our lives. And what does our society do, in general we look down on them for this attitude. I don’t, hell I think like they do, which is why lately, although a baby boomer by birth year, I’ve started calling myself the first millennial.

Work life balance

If you have read this blog for some time you know that I’m a big proponent of work life balance. I’ve done keynote talks at conferences about this idea, I try very hard to make it work this way in my life. I personally feel that given the fact that we are guaranteed nothing in this life, that you should try to enjoy every single day. Some of you are blessed, what you do for a living brings you incredible happiness and joy. Unfortunately most of us are not in this position so we have to find ways outside of our working lives to find our happiness.

So keep things in balance my friend and have a happy day. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged baby boomers, balance, balance in life, be happy, happiness, happy, millenial, millenials, work, work life balance | 3 Comments

Make some happiness today

Posted on April 22, 2018 by Michael Kane

Make Some Happiness Today

Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it. ~Fyodor Dostoevsky

Hello my friends, as I’ve documented recently I’ve been having a particularly hard month, the details are absolutely ridiculous and not worth relating. Out of every situation it is always important to learn, to take something other than the emotion out of the situation. In the midst of this month this thought hit home for me pretty hard. It is has not been a happy month, but I’ve been writing for a couple of years now about how to live a happier life, perhaps it was time to put my proverbial money where my mouth has been. So I’ve done some of the things that I’ve been recommended, I keep reminding myself that it is my choice how I feel. Sure, bad things have happened, people have passed away, become ill, and that is sad, but it’s my decision how I respond to all of this. So I’ve been trying to find the silver linings in things, I will not lie it has not always been easy, but at times it has worked.

I’ve accessed the happiness jar I wrote about some months ago and read some of the entries, some of the really good things that happened so far this year, and that helped. I’ve tried to express as much gratitude as I could about the things I have in life. I’ve reached out and talked to friends who have perspective. However the thing that has helped the most this month has been giving to others. It’s a counter intuitive approach, you feel bad so you try to make others feel better, you might think of a parallel, so if I’m broke I should give my money away? But we’re not talking here about a tangible asset but our emotional well-being, emotions and feelings are not subject to the laws physics or capitalism.

So I’ve done some favors for people and it made me feel better. But the one thing that worked the best was an idea I had the other night when I couldn’t sleep. This happens a lot to all of us, we have great ideas, nice things we can do for people, but we don’t often enough act on them, but happily I didn’t let this opportunity go by. So the other night I blasted through my Facebook friend list and sent out about 80 messages to people, the preface of the messages looked like this:

So as many of you are aware I’ve had a pretty lousy month, so in taking some of my own advice from the Ministry of Happiness I’ve decided that one of the best ways to feel better is to make other people feel better. So I’ve decided to write each of my friends on Facebook and pay each of you a compliment.

I don’t want a compliment in return, if the compliment made you feel good made you smile, pay it forward, send one or more of your friends a compliment and make them feel the same way and have a happy day my friend. ~ Michael

I followed this preface in each case with a compliment, something nice I could say about each of the people I wrote to and most importantly asked them to pay it forward. This act made me feel good for a number of reasons. First, there is something positive and uplifting about recognizing the good in people around you. Second, particularly when you do this at scale, you are bound to hit a few people at a particularly ripe time for them to receive this. In these instances your message will be much more timely and precious than you could ever imagine. Finally, asking folks to pay it forward, and some truly will, spreads some of this goodness out into the world and that is a great feeling.

So my friends, if you are reading this today let’s keep this going, even if you received one of my messages, pay another one forward. Find a friend, a loved one, a colleague and with no expectation of return and let them know that, pay a compliment, make them a little bit happier, ask them to pay it forward, make the world a little bit happier and in the end, albeit quite selfish, you’ll make sure you have a happier day my friends and thank you all for your attention and support for the Ministry of Happiness ~ Rev Kane

Happiness and Hypertension (High Blood Pressure)

Posted on April 19, 2018 by Michael Kane

Happiness and Hypertension (High Blood Pressure)

Check your blood pressure

We often busy ourselves in order to forget the poignant and ephemeral nature of our lives. ~ Rev Kane

High Blood Pressure

In some ways, blood pressure is the bane of my existence. I suffer from hypertension and have been on medication now for over 20 years to deal with the condition. It’s a genetic thing for me, my blood pressure is worse now that I’m 190 pounds and in good physical condition than it was when I was a 250 pound couch potato. High blood pressure is a serious condition, they call it the silent killer because very often people have no idea that they have high blood pressure and the condition can lead to heart attacks or strokes. If you have anything else going on, diabetes, high cholesterol or being overweight it magnifies the risks of those conditions. I check a couple of those boxes as well, so it’s a serious deal for me. I’m working on the other boxes, I’ve lost 16 pounds this year, my blood sugar is getting back under control and I eat better, exercise regularly and try to do things to reduce stress.

High Blood Pressure can run in your family

My blood pressure issues are primarily genetic and there is an unfortunate family history on this front. You see my maternal grandfather passed away at 49 when I was 5 years old from acute hypertension. Excessive high blood pressure caused brain damage and likely a stroke. Almost everyone in my family is and has been on blood pressure medication for most of their adult lives. But happily, due to modern medicines, we have all passed our 50th birthdays without suffering the same fate. It’s funny, one of the things I think about, if the apocalypse ever occurs, while people will be looting pharmacies for pain killers and antibiotics, I’ll need to loot for my blood pressure medication.

Defiant and having fun til the end

A health scare

Recently my blood pressure had been increasing because my medication was no longer working for me the way it should. I went in for an elective procedure and my blood pressure spiked and I ended up getting cancelled out of the surgery. Then they sent me to a cardiologist to get cleared for surgery. He ended up getting me some new meds that have gotten my blood pressure back in line. He also ordered an Echocardiagram and thats when a giant rollercoaster of an afternoon happened that I wrote about in last weeks blog post that at one point looked like it might lead to open heart surgery, happily that wasn’t the case, but it illustrates why it’s important to keep these things in line.

Living a full and normal life

The thing is, given the medications available, you can lead a completely normal life with high blood pressure. As you know if you read this blog regularly I workout, I travel (Petra, Havasupai Falls) extensively and go on adventures (Mt. Everest, photographing Polar Bears in Canada) and even hiked a 1000 miles on the Appalachian Trail. I also write poetry as a way to relax. So there really are no limits to what you can do.

Take Care of Yourself

For most people blood pressure can very much be controlled and it comes down to some of the very basic things you might imagine.

Keep your weight under control
Exercise
Watch your salt intake
Don’t smoke
Drink in moderation
Keep normal Vitamin D levels (another way hiking can help

Of course the big thing is to regularly check your blood pressure so that you know where it is, there are lots of charts that can show you what normal levels are for blood pressure. So take care of yourselves my friend and you’ll have many happy days. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged adventure, blood pressure, family, happiness, health, high blood pressure, hypertension, lower your blood pressure, travel, wellness | Leave a comment

Sex and Happiness

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Always Keep Learning

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Make Some Happiness Today

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Happiness and Hypertension (High Blood Pressure)

High Blood Pressure

High Blood Pressure can run in your family

A health scare

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Take Care of Yourself

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