Happiness and a fork in the road

Posted on March 14, 2011 by Michael Kane

A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving. ~Lao Tzu

So we all have plans and I learned many years ago that my plans never work out in ways that I expect.  So I plan with an eye to the fact that my plans are really and truly only setting a direction not a destination.  Over the years I never planned to be an administrator and now, here I am with ten years under my belt as an academic administrator.  I never planned to be in my mid-40’s, single and childless but here I am, I did plan to be filthy rich by now and well, I’m not.

We have all heard the expression that it’s not the destination, but the journey that matters.  Well, if we want to be happy, we have to live by this expression.  We all plan, very rarely do these plans come out exactly the way we plan them to, so if our happiness only depends on reaching a destination and we don’t get there, then we’ll be unhappy.  However if we decide to experience the journey and draw our happiness from it, then we can be happy along the way no matter what destination we reach.

So my plans have not worked out as I expected, but I have an amazing life.  I may not have ever married or had children, but because my life is relatively unfettered I’ve traveled around the world and had the most amazing experiences.  I was able to take off of work for eight months last year and travel to Europe, Asia and across America.  I never planned on being an administrator but am currently on the edge of an opportunity as an administrator that may lead to a very lucrative job in Shanghai.  That opportunity will be a significant fork in the road and decisions of this magnitude are always intimidating and filled with stress.  However, whichever fork I choose, I sure it will be a heck of a trip and I’ll be smiling all the way. 

So today’s message is pretty obvious, stop worrying about the destination, take a moment and understand the journey you’re on and enjoy it.  Have a happy day my friends.

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A quickie but a goody

Posted on March 13, 2011 by Michael Kane

A friend of mine posted this link to Facebook today and I thought it was a nice quick reminder of the types of things we’ve been talking about, enjoy and have a happy day

http://www.theinspirationtree.com/2011/01/pursuit-of-happiness-15-lessons-to-keep.html#comment-form

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The Dalai Lama on Anger

Posted on March 12, 2011 by Michael Kane

Feelings of anger and hatred arise from a mind that is troubled by dissatisfaction and discontent. So you can prepare to deal with such occasions by constantly working to build inner contentment and by cultivating kindness and compassion. This brings about a certain calmness of mind that can help prevent anger from arising in the first place. ~ Dalai Lama

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A little bit of laughter and happiness

Posted on March 4, 2011 by Michael Kane

So sometimes talking about how to be happy and all of the things we need to do can be a bit heavy and sometimes you just need to laugh, the link below should help you with that, be happy.

http://zdeaconblue.wordpress.com/2011/03/04/fun-friday-laughing-babies/

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Happiness is a Choice

Posted on March 1, 2011 by Michael Kane

Happiness is a Choice

01Our life is the sum total of all the decisions we make every day, and those decisions are determined by our priorities. ~ Myles Munroe

Lately I’ve been having a tough time of it, trying to get my head around what’s next in my career?  I’ve hit that point in my current job where I’m bored, nothing is really a surprise or exciting, there don’t seem to be any challenges left, at least none that the organization is willing to take and status quo is starting to seem like our motto.  Luckily I was able to take about two weeks off and relax, first in Las Vegas for a few days and then out in Arizona with my brother for our annual brother’s weekend.  The time off was good and not so scheduled that I didn’t have time to sit and think and make some career decisions.  This is the first bit of wisdom I’d like to impart today, when you have a question to answer or a problem to solve don’t underestimate the value of just taking time to clear your head and think.

Needless to say when you’re struggling, you are not the happiest of souls and I was struggling with this as well.  I mean hey, I write a blog on happiness, so staying happy, finding ways out of a little well is sort of necessary or I’m not much of a guide am I?  The trip was immensely helpful on that front as well, spending time with my brother, who lives across the country, is a rare and precious gift and that always makes me happy.

On the last morning of our vacation as we headed out to take my brother to the airport we stopped at Denny’s in Fountain Hills for breakfast.  Now personally, I can’t imagine working the Sunday morning shift at a Denny’s is much fun and so I’ve always made a certain allowance for someone not being real bubbly as a server at that time of the day.  However, to my surprise as we sat down at the counter our server came up to us, blasted us a huge smile and asked us how we were doing on this wonderful morning?  I have to admit my first thought was she was still high from the night before.  However, she was great, a beautiful young with woman with star tattoos on her neck and an amazing smile.  She looked a bit like Jessica Biel and her positive attitude persisted throughout our time there.

Now granted, she’s not a nurse in a war zone or a protestor in the streets of Libya, but early morning shifts at Denny’s serving picky seniors and grouchy people at Denny’s while surviving on tips is not likely to make you giddy.  But she had made a choice to be happy, to smile and spread that joy and I’m guessing from the brief conversation we had, it’s a choice she makes every day, no matter where she is and what she’s doing.  So today I put her up as our model for how we can move forward and be happier and this post is my personal thanks to her for sharing that attitude, have a happy day friends. ~ Rev Kane

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

How Travel Makes You Happier

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Our Best Happiness Posts of 2015

My favorite Appalachian Trail Photos of 2015

Why I’m Happy Right Now!

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The Dalai Lama on improvement and patience

Posted on February 22, 2011 by Michael Kane

Through constant familiarity, we can definitely establish new behavior patterns, using our tendency to form habits to our advantage. If we make a steady effort, I think we can overcome any form of negative conditioning and make positive changes in our lives. But we need to remember that genuine change doesn’t happen overnight ~ Dalai Lama

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Happiness is Feeling Safe

Posted on February 21, 2011 by Michael Kane

Happiness is Feeling Safe

Happiness is a form of courage.  ~Holbrook Jackson

meditation

Happiness at some level is a luxury.  What do I mean by that?  Well it comes back to one of my favorite concepts of all-time, Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.  The concept is beautiful for its simplicity, basically the idea is that you have to meet your most basic needs before moving on to things that are optional, like happiness, environmentalism or spirituality.  Those things are secondary if your kids are hungry.  One of the most basic things that human beings need is to feel safe and it is the second level of the hierarchy.  So the question today is, do you feel safe?

If not, what is it in your world that threatens you?  Is it something you can change?  If you can, you should make it a priority, taking care of yourself and your well-being is one of the first steps to being happy.  Remember that the things that threaten you are not always physical threats and most likely are psychological in nature.  People who are overly critical or not responsive of your needs can be just as damaging to your feeling of safety.  In the end, feeling safe means you can feel comfortable to let your guard down both physically and psychologically.

What got me thinking about this today was that I was fortunate to wake up this morning at a hotel on the beach.  Laying there in my warm bed, listening to the waves I was hit with this incredibly feeling of safety, I haven’t been feeling very safe in my world lately and the feeling this morning was wonderful and inspired this post and the following poem, enjoy.

Safe                                                                           (written in Monterey, CA  –  2/19/11)

I feel safe here
warm in my bed
sound of waves
breaking on shore
regular as heartbeats
kissing the land

A reminder
the original safe place
warm
wet
well-fed
regular heartbeats
the meaning of safety
before words or language

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

How Travel Makes You Happier

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Our Best Happiness Posts of 2015

My favorite Appalachian Trail Photos of 2015

Why I’m Happy Right Now!

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The Dalai Lama on Religion

Posted on February 19, 2011 by Michael Kane

It is very important to value all religious systems. Although they may have great philosophical differences, they all have precepts for cultivating a good attitude toward others and helping them. They all counsel the practice of love, compassion, patience, contentment, and observing society’s rules. Since all religions share these goals, it is important to respect them and to value the contribution they can make.~Dalai Lama

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Deng Ming-Dao on Worry

Posted on February 14, 2011 by Michael Kane

My weekly post this week was on worry and as a nice companion here is my daily meditation from Deng Ming-Dao’s 365 Tao on the same subject.

Worry is an addiction
That interferes with compassion

Worry is a problem that seems to be rampant.  Perhaps it is due to the nature of our overly advanced civilization; perhaps it is a measure of our own spiritual degneracy.  Whatever the source, it is clear that worry is not useful.  It is a cancer of the emotions-concern gone compulsive.  It eats away at the body and the mind.

It does no good to say, “Don’t think about it.”  You’ll only worry more.  It is far better to keep walking your path, changing what you can.  The rest must be dissolved in compassion.  In this world of infants with immunce deficiencies, racial injustice, economic imbalance, personal violence, and international conflict, it is impossible to address everyone’s concerns.  Taking care of yourself and doing something good for those whom you meet is enough.  That is compassion, and we must exercise it even in the face of the overwhelming odds.

Whenever you meet a problem, help it if is in your power to do so.  After you have acted, withdraw and be unconcerned about it.  Walk on without ever mentioning it to anybody.  There there is no worry, because there has been action.

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Dalai Lama on making others happy

Posted on February 11, 2011 by Michael Kane

I feel that an individual whose actions are motivated by the wish to bring others happiness necessarily meets with less misfortune that one who does not. Sickness, old age, mishaps of one sort or another are the same for us all. But the sufferings which undermine our internal peace – anxiety, doubt, disappointment – these are definitely less. ~ Dalai Lama

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