‘Imposter Syndrome’ is the feeling of wearing a mask and playing a role that one does not feel at home in. It is when you feel like you or your work is a fluke and that you’re a dwarf amongst giants. Many of us have this, especially when we’re in some sort of creative industry. ~ Luvvie Ajayi
It seems that lately I’ve had a lot of conversations about imposter syndrome with folks. I find a lot of folks, particularly in their work environment, feel like somehow they’ve ended up in a position that they are not qualified for, or not ready for. I really hear this from students who have just graduated and are in their first professional position. We all know the feeling, it’s something almost everyone feels that first day in a new position. You’re sitting at your desk and you’ve been given a bit to read, or a website to review, and you’ve gone through it and then you have nothing to do. It’s that disconcerting feeling you get sitting there, not knowing what to do next, then you start wondering what am I doing here, I have no idea how to do this job. We all go through this every time we step into a higher position, or change careers.
What imposter syndrome means for a lot of people is never being able to shake that first day feeling, that no matter how long you stay in the job, or how accomplished you get, you can’t shake the feeling that someone is going to show up and uncover the fact that you really don’t know what you’re doing, that you’re an imposter. The fact is we all feel this way to a degree and most of us, at least in the beginning, are truly just winging it. And I can tell you, even after 35 plus years working in higher education and twenty years as a dean, there are still moments when I am absolutely winging it and hoping for the best. The only difference is that I have a lot of experience to base those guesses on.
It doesn’t only happen at work, you can also feel that way in a relationship. You find yourself in a relationship with someone amazing and you start to wonder if you really deserve them. You wonder why they would want to be with someone like you? This is another form of imposter syndrome.
Like many negative things in life it’s important to change the frame of reference. Instead of wondering if you deserve to be in your job, or in your relationship, you have to change that message. One of the ways that you can do this is to provide yourself with positive self-affirmations. It may sound silly, but starting each day by looking in the mirror and saying to yourself I deserve to be where I am, in the job or the relationship I am in. Changing the message you tell yourself, starts to work on your internal narrative. It starts to dampen down that voice inside you telling you that you don’t belong. Do it long enough, consistently enough, and you can begin to change your perspective. And maybe start to see yourself in a more positive light, and start to truly believe you belong.
This little exercise is important because you do belong. If you logically look at your situation, you’ll see the evidence. But sometimes that internal negative dialogue can put blinders on you and not let you seen what’s right in front of you. You wouldn’t be in the position you are in if you didn’t deserve to be there, if you hadn’t accomplished all of the things you have previously done. Your person would not have picked you if you weren’t worthy of being picked.
My biggest fear for people dealing with imposter syndrome is that it’s self-limiting. If you don’t feel you deserve the job you have, you’ll likely find it hard believing that you’re ready for the next. And often people will not take that next big chance and by not doing so, they can get stuck in a position they’re no longer happy in.
So my friends, if you’re feeling like an imposter change your narrative. Talk to yourself and work on truly believing in yourself, work on your self worth and belief in the fact that you do belong and have happier days my friends. ~ Rev Kane
Navigating the Festive Season: A Guide to Overcoming Holiday Blues
The holiday season is often hailed as a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness. However, for many individuals, it can also bring about a sense of melancholy and loneliness known as the “holiday blues.” Whether triggered by personal circumstances, social expectations, or memories of loved ones, these feelings can cast a shadow over what should be a festive time. If you find yourself grappling with the holiday blues, fear not! This post offers detailed tips to help you overcome these emotions and embrace the season with a renewed sense of positivity.
Acknowledge and Accept Your Feelings: It’s crucial to recognize and accept that feeling down during the holidays is a valid and common experience. Rather than suppressing these emotions, allow yourself to acknowledge them. Understanding that it’s okay to feel this way is the first step towards finding relief.
Reach Out for Support: Don’t hesitate to share your feelings with friends, family, or a trusted confidant. Sometimes, expressing your emotions can provide a tremendous sense of relief. If you’re comfortable, consider attending holiday gatherings or seeking companionship to alleviate feelings of isolation.Recommended Reading: Coping with Loneliness During the Holidays
Create New Traditions: If the holidays evoke painful memories or are a reminder of loss, consider creating new traditions that bring joy and meaning. This could include volunteering, exploring festive events in your community, or starting a personal tradition that reflects your interests and values.Recommended Reading: Building New Holiday Traditions
Set Realistic Expectations: The pressure to create a perfect holiday season can contribute to the blues. Be realistic about what you can accomplish and focus on the aspects of the season that bring you genuine happiness. Don’t be afraid to scale back on commitments and prioritize self-care.Recommended Reading: Managing Holiday Expectations
Practice Self-Care: Take time for yourself amidst the holiday hustle. Engage in activities that promote well-being, such as exercise, meditation, or reading a good book. Prioritize adequate sleep and nourish your body with healthy foods to support your overall mental health.Recommended Reading: Self-Care Strategies for the Holidays
Seek Professional Help if Needed: If the holiday blues persist and become overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek professional support. Therapists and counselors can offer guidance and coping strategies tailored to your specific situation.Recommended Reading: When to Seek Professional Help for Holiday Blues
The holiday blues can affect anyone, but with proactive steps and support, you can navigate this season with resilience and a positive mindset. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help and prioritize your well-being during the holidays. By implementing these tips, you can overcome the holiday blues and create a more enjoyable and fulfilling festive experience. ~ Rev Kane
It’s never too late to be who you might have been. ~ George Elliot
Happiness in the Next Act
This time of year has a tendency to be a highly contemplative period for me. It’s a combination of my normal dropping mood (see last week’s post), the early darkness and the year ending. So what I’ve been really thinking about is the transition to what’s next, there’s a plan, you knew there was a plan. The first part of the plan is of course my retirement date from my current position. The second piece is to head back out on the Appalachian Trail, my second run at doing all 2,000 miles of the trail, or at the very least, finishing the 1000 miles I haven’t done, or some combination of both. And likely a sequel to my first book, Appalachian Trail Happiness. It’s also a different time, 10 years later so the social media component of the hike will be far different than the first time, stay tuned, my training starts in a few weeks.
But the next phase is somewhat of an open story still. I know for the next five years I’ll need to work and I’ve got a lot of that worked out. I want to be at a four year school, I want to work with students and I don’t want to manage people, or very few. I’ll be looking for a property to make my own. It’s the edges and the rest of the time that I’m still playing with and that’s where the quote in the image sort of fell today like a quote from above. My next act, and really anyone’s next act is a story they get to create for themselves. Sure, we’re not guaranteed any set amount of time in life, but you have to both live like there’s not much time left, and also plan like there is. One of my favorite Taoist parables is about a man who in retirement decided to plant an apple orchard. He told his friend that he never expected to harvest a single crop due to his age, but that it was something he always wanted to do. In fact, he did live to see the orchard produce many apples and each year shared with his friend. The thing I’ve always taken from this parable is exactly what I said above and as such I’ve been thinking about lately is what big thing I want to do.
In fact planting a fruit tree orchard is something I want to do. But I consider what I want to do in terms of property and doing things like making, ciders, wines, soap and learning much more about foraging as mid-level things that I want to do. But what is the big thing, is it a focus on my writing and branching out into to fiction, is it working on something political, there are a lot of things bouncing around my mind? But most importantly, at this point in my life, it is to do things that make me happy. While I’ve done a good job of this throughout my adult life, there was always a lot of responsibility, work, family, financial issues on my back. Now that I won’t have a lot of that on top of me, it’s time to cut loose and be who I could have been. A lot of what my 60th birthday means to me is no longer holding back. Now for those of you who know me outside of this blog, that might seem a little shocking. I don’t think most people think I hold much back, but in fact I do and after 60 years of obligation and responsibility it’s time to let it all fly.
I try and find a lesson in each of my weekly posts, and trust me after over eleven years and 1,600 posts that is often a struggle. So I guess tonight I steal one from the Bard of Avon, with a nod to my high school English teacher Francis Sullivan, and to be happier, to thine own self be true. ~ Rev Kane
Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.”— Charles Bukowski
Holiday Happiness?
Well, the worst part of the year has started for me. While I love Thanksgiving and everything about it, Christmas is quite the opposite for me. Throw in days that are getting dark ridiculously early, can we please stop playing with the clocks and stick with Daylight Savings Time? Long cold nights really kick the crap out of my mood. This time of year, with everything going on, the early dark, etc… it just gets harder to exercise as regularly as well. All of this, along with a lot of negative memories of bad Christmases and this year I have to watch my mood really carefully.
Feelings of sadness that last throughout the holiday season—especially during the months of November and December—are often referred to as the holiday blues or holiday depression. The holidays are usually viewed as a time of happiness and rejoicing. But for some people, it can be a period of painful reflection, sadness, loneliness, anxiety, and depression.
Even people who love the holidays can experience the blues during this busy season. The holidays are often a time of high emotion and demands, which can leave a lot of people feeling stressed and exhausted. People with a prior mental health condition may be even more prone to experiencing holiday depression. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), 64% of people with an existing mental illness report that the holidays make their condition worse.
So every year around this time I try to post a bit more often, doing some repeats of my holiday happiness posts in hopes that if you’re not so excited this time of year, perhaps these posts might help.
So how do I personally handle the holiday blues? Well first off, as with any other time you always have to focus on the basics. To be happy you have to be healthy and well rested. So I always fall back to the basics as related by the Taoist masters in regards to the basics of life. This means making sure that you are well rested, well fed, drinking enough water, exercising and feeling safe. So this time of year I really try, and it’s difficult because of the demands of the holidays, to become more regimented about my workout schedule, making sure I get enough sleep every night and making a point of not putting myself into emotional situations that will make me feel more anxious and therefore less safe. The water thing I’ve always got, so that’s not something I personally need to keep in mind. I also try and stay close to eating as healthy as possible, for me, this means minimizing carbs and sweets. This of course is the hardest for me, especially since I really like good Christmas cookies and people have a tendency to give sweets and cookies and gifts and thank yous.
I go a bit further as well, I have some traditions around the holidays. First, as an introvert, I carefully monitor my social time. This time of year there are many celebrations and parties that you get invited to participate in. Even for work there is a significant uptake in attendance at campus celebrations. So I make a point of carefully planning my participation. If I can reasonably pass on the event I do, if not, I make a point of pre-determining how much time I’ll spend at the even and sticking to that schedule. Show up, do my hellos, make a little conversation and quietly slip away, the appropriately named Irish Goodbye. On those rare occasions where an event feeds my personal needs, typically meaning finding some deeply engaging conversation, I’ll stay for that as that is something the helps my mood. But generally, I spend a set amount a time at these events a slip out unnoticed.
I also try and be more giving this time of year, probably the one typical holiday thing that I do. However, I’m not talking about working a food pantry or donating to charities. What I try to do is increase my personal giving. By this I mean increasing things I normally do. So at school, I’ll occasionally pay for a student’s lunch if they are behind me in line on campus. I do a lot more of this, this time of year. The same goes for the small things, holding doors open for others longer. We all of this distance in our head when we open a door as to close a person has to be for us to hold it for them. This time of year I greatly extend that distance. I’m more likely to drop a couple of bucks on someone panhandling this time of year. And especially for the homeless folks who aren’t asking, particularly older folks rummaging for cans or obviously struggling I’ll drop a twenty on them. I do this somewhat for them, but honestly it’s somewhat selfish, as doing these things for others makes you feel better as well.
I also really like giving good gifts. I try really hard to buy people gifts they’ll like and that fit their lives. It’s often a tough task for me given that I also have to ship them across the country and am trying to figure this out at a distance. But I try and when I score a really great gift for someone it makes me very happy.
Finally, I’ve come to really avoid the typical image of Christmas. Snow and cold and being caught in the house with bad weather is the worst possible thing for my mood, especially if I’m trapped with people. So my Christmas ritual has become to head for the desert. At Christmas most years you can find me camping somewhere in the Mojave. The ability to have warmth and sun, typically with cool nights for good sleeping, lots of stars and a camp fire to sit around after hiking all day and eating great food really is one of my happy places. This year will be no exception and I’ll be returning to someplace I went for the first time last year, Valley of Fire State Park in Nevada.
So this time of year my friends, whether it’s the best or worst time of year for you, make sure you take care of yourself. Make sure you find ways to get those basics, rest, space, exercise, time alone to recharge if you need it and drink enough water. Don’t over schedule yourself, try not to over commit to people. Take the pressure off yourself to provide the perfect holiday whether or not that means the perfect meal or the perfect party and remember, alcohol is a depressant. If you have kids, they are simpler to make happy this time of year than you may realize. What matters most to them is not the Barbie Dream House they want, but good food, a calm and safe home and most of all, your time and attention. Often a well thought out stocking stuffer or homemade cookie means more than any toy or money they might get. So do you best, and be well my friends, if it all gets too much please reach out, I’m always available this time of year to help pick someone up a bit. Have a happy holiday season. ~ Rev Kane
Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable.~ Denis Waitley
A Happy Gear Change
So I’ve been talking about it for some time, but finally sat down this weekend and made some decisions, primarily when will I retire from my current gig. So I’ve set the date, February 18, 2025. When I type it out it seems like a really long time away. But of course, when you look at the image below it’s not that far away at all. And in a few weeks it will really mean that it’s just two regular semesters, a summer and a few weeks away.
The really funny thing, as I loaded this app on my phone and saved the image, was that the ad at the base of the picture is where I work. It was a big long weekend of decisions all linked to this date. This date drives what I will due with my next lease. I needed to make a decision as to how I’ll handle my next move, which also impacted what I’m doing in terms of a new vehicle. I was playing with the idea of buying a van, that I could also use as a camping/touring vehicle, and also pack the few possessions I’ll still have next year to do the move. But instead I have decided to likely go with a Subaru, given I’ll be moving back to real Winter, the idea of having something that handles bad weather roads seemed more prudent. Which means that I’ll be using movers to send my stuff back east.
There are of course always wild cards, so I won’t make any official announcement at work or turn in any paperwork until much closer to the date. The biggest one of course being my heart condition, if my open heart surgery is deemed to be close at hand, I may need to hang on because my job has amazing health insurance. But I’m hopeful that won’t be the case and I’ll be able to the gear change to the next stage of my life.
So what does that change include, if everything goes to plan, I’ll have a comfortable pension starting the month after I retire. But my need for good health insurance means I’ll need to continue to work in some fashion until I turn 65. But no longer will I be the boss, or take a position where I have to manage dozens of people, most of whom do not seem capable of doing anything without guidance. I no longer want that responsibility, and I really no longer want the stress. My hope is that I can get back to a level where I’m working with students and can basically hang up my work clothes and forget my job when I’m not at work. Ideally, I’ll find a job that’s a less than 12 month position with full benefits.
The job I take, will determine where I end up settling and begin my search for property and a home. My vision for what the rest of my life looks like is developing the property I’ve been designing in my head for decades. A chuck of land, fruit trees the ability to forage and produce most if not all of my food from the property. The development of a renewable energy component, water collection with an overall sustainability focus. There will be greenhouses and massive gardens, land for walking, access to a waterway and a pool. A place where my nieces and nephews can come and visit and play in nature. Finally, if it happens to be in Bigfoot country all the better.
I want to be someplace where I can go outside and watch meteor showers from the property, set up a telescope and get more connected to my interest in photography and maybe get into a little astrophotography. I want a little lab space to play with some microscopy and photography tied to that as well. I want to produce my own wines and ciders, can foods and make soap among other things.
And I will need to be located near a college, because the fact is, I tend toward being a hermit and social isolation is not a good thing and a real risk for me. So my hope is to be rural but close to a college where I work so that I have sports, arts and cultural events available so that I can connect to some sort of social structure.
Finally, health permitting, and it should, my plan is to utilize the ACA for healthcare initially and return to the Appalachian Trail in late March or April of 2025. I’ll start out from Georgia again, but will likely hop a bit as I do have 1000 miles covered already. My goal will be to pick up the additional 1000+ miles, fill in the gaps I missed and become an AT 2000 miler. That should also allow me an opportunity to do some hikes with people I don’t see nearly enough and cover the parts of the trail I’ve not done. And provide the opportunity for another book.
This of course means there are a lot of things to do. But I’m always at my best, when there’s a definite deadline and a clear to do list. So I’m excited to do, as I have done many times, the planning, the prep and the start of a new adventure. Adventure has always brought me happy days. ~ Rev Kane
Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough. ~ Oprah Winfrey
What’s Thanksgiving Really About?
Thanksgiving, as I’ve mentioned in past years is my favorite holiday. But as some of you know, I work at perhaps the most liberal college, in perhaps the most liberal area of the United States. So it’s not surprising on campus to hear Thanksgiving described as celebrating a colonizer’s holiday. A holiday that celebrates how white people from Europe came to America, got helped by Native Americans and the proceeded to commit genocide on them. Then, the white American school system disneyfied the whole story to happy Pilgrims and Native Americans to the current story we pump into textbooks to brainwash all the bad stuff away.
While there certainly is a lot of truth in that narrative, that’s the what of the history of Thanksgiving, the history of the holiday and the way America operates. And like so many things in life, we have a choice to how we view things. We can choose to hang onto the cynical take and make the decision that because of the origins of this holiday we should shun the holiday, or deride it for the idiocy of American political thought.
But that’s not the choice I’ve made with this holiday, because in that original story of Thanksgiving, in fact Native Americans did help out the Pilgrims. Initially, I’m sure those colonists were grateful and that basic attitude of gratitude to me, is the important thing that has become the central tradition of the holiday. Hell, many people even celebrate November as gratitude month, that doesn’t happen without this holiday.
Sure, we’ve all developed our own traditions around the holiday. For some it’s hunting, for some it’s a huge family dinner, for others a quiet time away from the world or watching football. For me, because I grew up hunting Thanksgiving morning, Thanksgiving day always meant eating a huge breakfast, passing out watching football only to wake up to an early dinner and finish off the day hunting. So as life has gone along, my tradition has morphed a bit, I no longer hunt. So, my tradition is a hike, time outside is critical, I always cook, I always eat a lot. This year the menu includes Cornish Game Hens, lasagna, deviled eggs, stuffed mushrooms, stuffing, potatoes and my standard chocolate pie. There is still football watching, napping and probably a bit of writing.
One of the core reasons for the hike, for the time outside is time to think and time to consider what I’m grateful for, no matter how bad things are at the time. You may have had recent deaths in your family, illnesses, your dog may have recently died, a family member may be going through cancer, you might be super lonely, or taking care of an ill parent.You may be really dissatisfied with where you are in life right now or the things you’re dealing with. But we are all grateful, not just for something, but many things in life. You may be thankful for the family that you have around you, your job, your financial standing in life. You may be thankful for having healthy children, or good friends. You might just be thankful for the fact that you’re able to have a nice holiday dinner. And at the end of the day, in this country, most of us can be thankful for our first world reality. We have food, shelter, entertainment, cell phones that cost as much as computers, we’re blessed and lucky in many ways. So on this one day a year, we make the extra effort to see past the bad, to appreciate the good in our lives and be thankful for it, that’s what Thanksgiving is all about to me and I hope for you. Have a happy day my friends and a happy Thanksgiving. ~ Rev Kane
I found out about Avellino through a website I really respect in regard to NY Pizza in San Francisco and they called it the place that most reminded them of the pizza place they grew up with in Brooklyn. So, although the nearest BART stop was three miles away and over a couple of series hills, I made the trek up to the edge of the Presidio to visit Avellino’s and grab some slices. As you can see from the image above, they look absolutely wonderful and I was excited to try them. I popped out to the outside tables and sat down to hit the slices. First bite and utter disappointment rang through my body, they were terrible. The problem was really the crust, it absolutely tasted like pre-made pizza crust giving the slice an overall frozen pizza taste. It was so disappointing, the fact is that I took a bite of each slice, and then maybe for the first time in my life, I didn’t finish the slices, a seco
I was really excited to check out The Pizza Shop, as I had mentioned in the memoriam section my favorite place had been in the Mission neighborhood of the city. It was super conveniently located near the 16th street BART station. The Pizza Shop is pretty close to the 24
Baseball hasn’t been the national pastime for many years now – no sport is. The national pastime, like it or not, is watching television.~ Bob Greene
Happy Viewing: Best Streaming Recommendations
I often see on social media people asking for recommendations for something to stream. Like most folks, I often shoot off a couple of things I’m currently watching. Recently however, a friend underwent surgery and was immobile for a time. So I took some time to go through and really create a list of streaming shows that I’ve seen that I really liked and would be willing to recommend to folks. I thought about how to lay out the list and initially I thought I would do it by genre, then I realized exactly how I would use a list like that. I’d shoot straight to the science fiction section and possibly miss some really great shows. Then of course there are shows like Bodies that are a mix of genres. Also, if there’s a foreign section and you don’t like subtitles you might skip over things like a fantastic Korean film, Train from Busan. This list, outside of mentioning Train of Busan, will focus on serial shows, not movies and I’ll list them by streaming service, quick summary and location. No need for reviews, if it’s on the list, I recommend it. And I’ll apologize in advance for location, streaming services have started selling off parts of their catalog to other services so some of these may have moved around.
How does this tie into the blog, I like TV, or streaming now. I need novelty and new information to be entertained and living in the golden age of TV has definitely been a happy experience. The shows on this list made me happy by entertaining me and hopefully they’ll entertain you. ~ Rev Kane
Amazon
The Expanse – One of the best shows in a long time, and one of the best science fiction shows all-time.
The Man in the High Castle – This is one of those frustrating series that doesn’t end but the first couple of seasons are amazing. It’s an alternate history series, lots of Nazis, multiple universes but not in a stupid Marvel way.
The Boys – The single most insane series ever, there are scenes that are beyond description. Not even close to politically correct at any level, if you are offendable at all, skip this series. But if you like off the wall, insane, sometimes disgusting, humor with a solid story line and good acting, check it out. It’s basically anti-marvel superheroes.
Wheel of Time – Definitely for the fantasy lovers, great cast, well acted but definitely your mystical forces type of fantasy series, prophecies, powers, reincarnation the whole thing. I’ve really enjoyed it and honestly I think the next season will be ever better.
Reacher – If you liked the Jack Reacher movies even a little bit, you’ll love Reacher. Much closer to the character in the books and I really dig this series a lot.
Lord of The Rings: Rings of Power – Basically the prequel to the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings stories, really well done, interesting, just enough action and you don’t need to know the Lord of the Rings story to enjoy it.
Truth Seekers – This series is stupid and kind of funny.
Falling Skies – A really early on alien invasion story, the story always felt intense and very real and enjoyable watch.
Resident Alien – This show is kooky and funny as hell. An alien comes to Earth and decides to live here, his take on humans and what we do is hilarious.
Fringe – If you liked the X-Files, you’ll totally dig Fringe. Basically, hipper version of the X-Files with a little multiple universe angle, series ran for like five years so there’s a lot to watch.
Counterpart (extra purchase only) – As far as I’m concerned, the best multiple universe show ever, not because of the multiverse angle, but because the acting was incredible, can’t believe this didn’t last longer, there’s only a couple of seasons and no wrap up.
West Wing – The single best political show ever created, there were episodes that will give you shivers down your spine. One of Aaron Sorkin’s early series and it’s absolutely fantastic, one of the best shows ever on television.
Netflix
The 100 – Drop a 100 young people on a planet and make them fend for themselves, fun science fiction and it sure doesn’t hurt that the entire cast is gorgeous. Storyling is engaging, good drama and good action, very much a strong female-centric series.
Lost in Space – The remake of the original series that I watched initially with a lot of trepidation and ended up really digging and they wrapped it decently.
Sweet Tooth – Imagine a super sweet hybrid kid with antlers living his best life in the apocalypse. Sounds ridiculous, kind of is, but it’s also sort of sweet and fun to watch. Also, definitely tween friendly.
Dark – (German) Super cool science fiction, even if you don’t like subtitles check this one out, it’s super engaging and pretty amazing.
Travelers – I love this show, really engrossing, great story, good performances, 3 seasons and no wrap up at all which absolutely sucks. If you dig scifi, definitely check it out.
Squid Game (Korean) – Dystopian madness at it’s absolute best, can’t wait for the second season, the first was absolutely unique and brilliant.
Vikings – What a great show, get’s a bit soap opera like in the last couple of season but the first few seasons, the story of Ragnor Lothbrook’s life is amazing. Great adaptation of one of the classic Norse Sagas.
Vikings: Valhala – A Vikings spin off that I didn’t have high expectations for, especially when they cast a model as the lead. But Frida Gustavsson absolutely rocks! And the show is a really great ride, new season coming out soon I believe.
The Sandman – A series comic nerds have been waiting for, forever! It didn’t disappoint, really well done, just the right level of trippy. I always think of it as a serious live Nightmare Before Christmas vibe.
Midnight Mass – Crazy vampire shit in a small New England town, short series, good watch.
Cowboy Beepop – The live action and the cartoon are both good. The live action only got one season but I really liked it, may not be everyone’s cop of tea, a bit of an anime edge.
All of us are dead (Korean) – Like zombies, fun high school zombie series, think Walking Dead lite.
Kingdom (Korean) – Historical zombie show that absolutely kicks ass, think of every good season of the Walking Dead and this is right at that level.
Sweet Home (Korean) – Korean monster show, but in an incredibly unique way. I LOVE this show, two seasons so far and both were fantastic. One thing that always disappoints me is when I can see things coming, I rarely get surprised by shows. This show surprises and astounds me in every episode, some of the best TV ever made.
Stranger Things – You all know it, it’s great, if you haven’t seen it, check it out.
Santa Clarita Diet – This show has an amazing cast, cool premise, great acting and writing and it’s totally nuts and hysterical in a very bloody and violent suburbia sort of way. Absolutely worth a watch but another series that went belly up without a wrap up.
Mindhunter – Dig shows like Criminal Minds, well this show takes you back to the FBI agents who created how to hunt for serial killers, great show, not enough seasons.
HBO Max
The Wire – The best cop show ever, maybe the best TV show ever. If you’ve never watched it, watch it start to finish, the characters actors played in this show are who they will always be to me. I see Wire actors in other shows but it doesn’t matter how good the new character is, I can only see their Wire character, that’s how iconic and incredible this show was. Cop show about cops in Baltimore, put this at the top of your list.
The Newsroom – Short-lived, great cast, the first episode has one of the greatest speech Aaron Sorkin has ever written for a character and that’s saying something.
West Wing – The single best political show ever created, there were episodes that will give you shivers down your spine. One of Aaron Sorkin’s early series and it’s absolutely fantastic, one of the best shows ever on television.
The Last of Us – One of the few video game conversions that has really worked well, just a season so far, but man it was fantastic. The frustration however, is that even before the actor’s strike this was on a slow roll out schedule with a year or two between seasons planned.
Peacemaker – I’m not a huge Marvel fan, and I have a tendency to like the fringe Marvel stuff way more than the mainstream movies and series. I LOVE Peacemaker, John Cena is magnificent in this series and plays the lunkhead superhero to perfection and in a way that really makes you care for his character. Another slow roll out, another season is coming, eventually….
United States of Tara – Toni Collette at her very best as a person with DID (multiple personalities) also the series where Brie Larson got her start.
Chernobyl – An absolutely kick ass drama with fantastic performances.
True Blood – Did you like Buffy the Vampire slayer, you’ll likely dig True Blood, consider this the R-rated version of the PG Buffy, with a Louisiana Cajun spin and one the single most kick-ass opening songs of any series ever. And like Buffy, absolutely filled with pretty people at ever turn, but also really well written storylines.
Treme – An HBO series you have likely not heard of, but a series about the Treme neighborhood of New Orleans. I love New Orleans which probably pre-disposed me to love this series but it’s really good with a great Crescent City vibe.
Station Eleven – When I read this book, I wasn’t sure what to think of it. But it definitely stuck with me. The series will do the same to you, but is a bit more coherent and wraps up better than the book did.
Six Feet Under – Since it aired this has always been one of my favorite series. Set around a family who runs a funeral home, you’ll recognize every primary actor in the series, they’ve all gone on to do great work. Just a masterful series that will hit every emotional note for you.
Deadwood – They finally did a wrap-up movie, the lack of a wrap up was the only weakness in this series. A spectacular western set in the mining boomtown of Deadwood. Buffalo Bill, Calamity Jane lots of characters and actors you’ll recognize. The one thing I will say, if you’re offended by F-bombs, stay away from this series, they drop F-bombs like breathing. But great acting, great writing, fabulous performances, really satisfying.
The Leftovers – Man this is a damn roller coaster ride. I’ll tell you nothing of the story, it is a series that will get under your skin, screw with your mind and entertain the hell out of you. Intense, extremely well done and mind blowing.
The Boondocks – Animated series about a black family in suburbia. This series is hardcore social commentary, the N-word flies constantly and the show at times, completely on purpose will make you completely uncomfortable watching it. It will challenge how you think about things and it will make you laugh your ass off.
Watchmen – Short run series with no plans ever for another season. This series is the reason that most Americans know about the Tulsa massacre. It’s an amazing series, helps if you’ve seen the movie, or read the graphic novel, but not necessary to follow the story and be incredibly entertained.
Falling Skies – A really early on alien invasion story, the story always felt intense and very real and enjoyable watch.
Fringe – If you liked the X-Files, you’ll totally dig Fringe. Basically, hipper version of the X-Files with a little multiple universe angle, series ran for like five years so there’s a lot to watch.
Game of Thrones – The books are magnificent as well as this series. Easy to get addicted to and take everything you think about the series and how things will go after the first couple of episodes and throw those ideas away, you’re wrong. The twists and turns in this series are absolutely magnificent.
House of Dragon – Game of Thrones spinoff, prequel. Watch Game of Thrones first, if you love it, watch this, if you don’t let this one go. It’s enjoyable if you like the GoT universe.
Boardwalk Empire – A Steve Buscemi lead series that is really fabulous, it’s all about the early days of Atlantic City.
Carnivale – Take a dive into the world of carnivals and sideshows with a cast of absolutely amazing characters. I loved this show when it came out, but like so many, it was cut short with no wrap up. Great cast, great characters, great writing.
Band of Brothers – The most amazing World War II show ever made, follows Easy Company from Normandy all the way through to Germany and the end of the war. Intense, incredibly well acted, historically accurate and characters who will stay with you forever.
OZ – Absolute warning on OZ, it is an incredible TV show. It is also NC-17 or higher. If you can’t handle violence, rape and brutal abusive scenes do not watch this show. It’s a brutal, gritty and incredible series about live in a maximum security prison. If you like the Elliot Stabler character from Law and Order, or the psychiatrist played by JK Simmons, DON’T WATCH OZ, you’ll never be able to look at those actors the same way again.
The Sopranos – Everyone knows this series, if somehow you don’t know the single greatest mob TV series ever, check it out. For the record I hate the series ending episode.
The Stand – I’m a huge fan of the book, The Stand and every version ever made. The most recent is on HBO and it’s very good, go on down to Sweet Home and save the world.
Big Love – The show that taught most people in America about Mormons and Jack Mormons. Super interesting series with an amazing cast, great writing and great performances.
Paramount
Yellowstone – I really resisted watching Yellowstone, figured it was just another over-hyped soap opera masquerading as a western drama. Then I watched the next show I’ve listed 1883. And 1883 was absolutely spectacular. Given that, I decided to check out Yellowstone and yes, it’s primetime TV soap opera-ish drama but it’s a damn good one. Taylor Sheridan is a damn genius and also a pretty good actor with a small role in the show.
1883 – If you ever played the ancient computer game, The Oregon Trail, here’s the live action version with everything you can imagine, mutiny, bandits, Native American attacks and culture, and on and on. All centered around a family and the performances are beyond spectacular.
Tulsa King – Sylvester Stallone as a mobster, fresh out of a long prison stint and exiled to Tulsa. Man I had no expectations for this show and man I love it. Perhaps Stallone’s best performance since the original Rocky and far more nuanced. I really modern and interesting mob story set in Tulsa, Oklahoma of all places.
Halo – Another video game adaptation that actually works pretty well, definitely your basic alien, space battle hero science fiction but well done.
Dexter and Dexter II – Dexter, the show that made people cheer for a serial killer, Michael C Hall is brilliant in this series. He was also one of the stars of Six Feet Under. There is also a sequel series that came out last year, it’s pretty good. The original Dexter is genius and the second benefits from the love of the original series.
Apple TV+
Servant – This is solid M. Night Shyamalan, it’s twisty and weird and intense and at times confusing and creepy and definitely worth a watch.
Invasion – This show was the reason I got Apple in the first place after watching the very first episode on an airplane. Basic science fiction alien invasion in season one and really well done, then season two is an absolute gear change and gets way more interesting. Can’t wait for season three.
Hulu
The Bear – Hulu’s big break out hit during the pandemic, season 1 is a magnificent thrill ride right out of the gate. Season two is a much more nuanced and complex season, it moves along deliberately until the last few episodes that suddenly punch like George Foreman. Two great seasons.
The X-Files – The series that brought UFO’s and the paranormal to the masses, up until the last couple of season an incredible series with a couple of episodes that are some hall of fame level episodes.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – It’s funny, this is a show that really polarizes people just from the title, the premise or the movie and now because of Joss Whedon. People see this show from the surface, pretty blonde girl, surrounded by a cast of pretty people fights vampires and worries about her nails and whether or not she’ll make the cheerleading squad. And yes, all of that is true and makes it seem like an utterly vapid show, but man that surface level read completely misses the boat. This series is not only completely fun, but constantly and sometimes subtly addressed all kinds of relevant issues to teenagers, suicide, bullying, loneliness, being an outsider, losing a parent, sibling rivalry, cultural appropriation, sexual assault, discrimination and on and on and on… All handled incredibly well, made interesting and relevant and yes, pretty people, lots of monsters and witchcraft. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is one of the best shows to have ever been on television, if you never have, give it a watch, you’ll get hooked.
Under a Banner of Heaven – Interesting murder mystery centered around the Mormon culture and if you don’t know much about Mormon culture and history it’s an interesting watch.
Nine Perfect Strangers – Weird little show that absolutely sucked me in, definitely worth a watch with a big time cast.
Legion – As I’ve stated, I have a tendency where Marvel is concerned to be drawn to the fringe Marvel shows. When I first watched Legion I didn’t even realize that it was a show in the Marvel universe. This show is the single trippiest show to ever air on network television and FX absolutely knocked it out of the park. Aubrey Plaza is insanely good in this show, this show is absolutely mesmerizing.
Disney Plus
The Mandalorian – I really loved the first two seasons, it’s slipped as it’s gone on but it’s still pretty good, plus Baby Yoda.
Moon Knight – I watched this mostly because I own a mint first edition of the comic book that I gifted my brother and I couldn’t believe they made it into a series. But holy cow, they did an amazing job, I really loved the first season of this show. I have no idea if they are doing a second season or not, but I really hope so.
Obi Wan Kenobi – I loved Ewan McGregor as Obi Wan in the movies, equally loved him in this mini-series and thought it was very well done.
Boba Fett – Standard Marvel fare, if you love Star Wars you’ll like it, if not, probably meh.
Jessica Jones – I love Krysten Ritter, I love the character and I really dug the show, again an off-brand Marvel product. Jessica Jones is the anti-hero superhero and a complete badass, and a a complete screw up. Always thought is made for a fascinating character and show, apparently it didn’t push the right buttons with the masses.
Wanda Vision – Probably the one Marvel mainstream project that I really dig. This is a great contained series, great arc, great story and really well done, definitely worth a watch.
Hulu
The Tick – Animated series, may not be everyone’s taste, but it’s totally insane and cracks me up.
Firefly – Joss Whedon’s masterpiece space western, show that got way too little air time, they did a good job of wrapping it up with a movie. Amazing characters, beautifully written and amazing cast and performances. If you’ve ever liked any science fiction, it’s a must watch.
Coincidence is the word we use when we can’t see the levers and pulleys. ~ Emma Bull
Coincidence is a Crazy Thing
From early on in my current gig I really hit it off with one faculty member in the Cosmetology Program. She was awesome and loud and a lot of fun. We also bonded over Cajun food and in particular shrimp. So, I would bring in homemade seafood gumbo for her and whenever we had a meeting together she would stop by a shop near her place and bring us both these amazing shrimp burritos, shrimp became our thing. Sadly, she passed away suddenly a little over a year ago.
The past two weeks I’ve been craving shrimp and oddly her name came up a number of times. Additionally, I had a talk with another faculty member where they said, Carmen’s really working for us from heaven this week.
So, I’ve also had a taste for lobster as well and Red Lobster near campus is having their shrimp and lobster feast, so I texted the other faculty and said, lunch in honor or Carmen today, going for shrimp. I was wearing a Skyline College polo and as my server walked up she said, I graduated from Skyline in Cosmetology and then she went, “oh my god you’re the dean.” We caught up briefly and I ordered and I realized while talking to her, she was in the last class Carmen ever taught, the universe works in strange ways. I had a great lunch, thought about my friend and gave the server a very large tip.
Because we have large evening programs in Cosmetology, Esthetics and Barbering, and because there are no other administrators on campus at night, I have shifted my schedule to finish in the early evening four days a week. Tonight when I did my walk through on the way out, I stopped to talk to several staff who all knew Carmen and related my day. They immediately leapt into stories about how over the last two weeks they’d had similar experiences related to Carmen. Who knows how the levers and pulleys of the universe work, but something pulled us all in the direction of her memory this week.
As I related this story out on social media I found the reactions to be varied and very interesting. Some people responded joyfully that I had a positive memory of my friend. Others reacted with hug emojis, obviously feeling that I was sad and needed support. I think likely that each person was reacting in the way that they react to remembering lost loved ones.
But while it is a sad thing that Carmen is gone, a very sad thing indeed, today was a happy day. That feeling that everything is connected, the opportunity today created for a number of us to reminisce and the opportunity to likely have made a former student’s day with a large tip are all good things.
So take a moment today my friends, to have a good memory of someone who is no longer with us, maybe it will trigger the universe to bring you a similarly good and happy day. ~ Rev Kane
Inspiration for my piece each week comes from random places at times. I’m actually writing this a week early, my aunt died this morning, my assistant’s mother-in-law died this afternoon. So aging and life are certainly on my mind and as I came home from the grocery store after the gym, cursing the darkness due to the time change, The Who came on the radio and I got to thinking about the quote I posted above.
Now certainly when The Who wrote that lyric they meant it quite literally. You see the world was in complete cultural revolution. The conservative, very white, very Christian pillars of society were being deeply questioned by young people both in America and in England. Shut up, do what your told, don’t question authority, not your parents, not your church, not your government just wasn’t working for people anymore. The Civil Rights Movement was in full swing, the Vietnam War was raging and making less and less sense every year. For the first time a large number of Americans started to not blindly trust the government. The hippy movement was starting and people were burning their draft cards and some fleeing to Canada to escape the draft.
Cultural upheaval has a tendency to be a great time for art and music. As the boxes people see themselves in begin to change, new ideas more easily find their way to the fore and boom, welcome to the heyday of rock’n roll and those immortal lyrics by The Who.
I’ve always loved that song, and loved that lyric and I’ve always taken it to mean something a bit less literal. You see every one of us has to age, trust me, I’m about to turn 60 and it will happen to you as well. But getting old quite frankly is optional. Old is all about your mentality, I know 20 year-olds who are old as hell. They’re set in their ways, their closed minded, they aren’t looking in any way to make changes or progress in their life. I know people of advanced age, in their 70’s and 80’s who are old, in the same way those 20 year-olds are and they have a tendency to be bitter and unhappy people.
What gives me hope, are all of the people of advanced age I know and have known who aren’t old. My granny’s friend Johanna, at 88 would flirt with me like a young woman, she absolutely had the spirit of a teenager. Currently I have a friend Marv, closing in on 90, plays golf every week, still drives and loves to talk, debate politics and new ideas with an open mind. I’ll never forget when I was attempting my thru-hike on the Appalachian Trail and I met Scrap one night. She was a thru-hiker in her mid-80’s, about 5’2″ with a thick Austrian accent and had an amazingly adventurous attitude. She was an absolute joy to talk with on the trail.
And honestly it’s all about attitude, and your attitude is one hundred percent within your control. Life is what happens to us, we all have tragedy, responsibility, times when things just don’t go right. But our attitude is how we decide to respond to what happens, what story we decide to build for ourselves around what’s happened. The simple fact is we build our own reality with that story, this is why you can encounter two people who have had to deal with very similar tragedies, but one is miserable and the other isn’t. You can build a better story in your life.
There is a bit of a chicken and egg issue here, does a better attitude lead to better story building, or does better story building lead to a better attitude? Here’s the advice for tonight, you control both, but it’s easier to work on building a better story, to help build a better attitude.
So my friends, create the mental space to think about the story you want to construct around what’s happening in your life. Are you stuck in a bad spot, or are you pausing as you prepare to take the next leap. Will you focus on your achy joints and the fact that you can’t sprint anymore, or will you focus on finding long distance walks to find adventure and happy times? It’s your life and your story and you are the sole author, write a story that keeps you young and happy and you’ll certainly die, before you get old. ~ Rev Kane
The Ministry of Happiness 