Nobody is happy all of the time

Posted on September 4, 2021 by Michael Kane

So I missed my Sunday night post for the first time in a quite some time. My apologies to those of you who look for that post on Sunday night or Monday morning. The fact is I was on the road to a funeral in Nevada. The thing is, the last 15 to 18 months are have been tough on all of us. It stacks up, COVID hits, work turned into a 70 hour a week marathon, you lose people to COVID. The pressure and stress get to everyone in one way or another. So in my job, I become the person who reaches out to the people I manage. Some were dealing, some were falling apart, so you get drained doing what you can for them. As a strong person, a person that many people come to when they are struggling, you get drained by being there for them. And after the last 15 to 18 months there has been a lot of that. I’ve been what they call languishing for some time. I’ve written about it here a bit.

This semester at the college has been, as predicted, the most difficult yet. We’ve seen an uptick in COVID case related quarantines and exposures, the faculty and staff have taken to laying a whole lot of blame on the deans, of which I’m one. The normal, half-joking “dark side” comments, have morphed into a full out regular assault at board meetings and anywhere else they can, to let everyone know how “evil” we are. There has been late and limited information that I need to do my job from above, my direct bosses are great, but above them, well, it’s been challenging.

I’m too far into my career, been doing this for too long, I’m worn out. Quite frankly, it’s time for me to find another gig. As a nomad I can tell you the Appalachian Trail is screaming my name right now, as is Antarctica, Scotland, New Zealand all of the places I’ve been or want to see are calling hard right now.

I’ve been blessed to have about three years of very little drama in my life, which has not been the norm in my existence. But the last year and a half has worn down my reserves and the last few weeks have felt like the universe decided to kick me while I’m down. I’ve fallen back into the well of depression for the first time in years. It’s at these times you find out important things about your world. As much as I’m their for so many people, you hope they’ll be there when you do need them. It’s partially my fault, when you take on so much on your own, people can forget that at times you need support as well. Times like this remind you of how alone you truly are in this life.

Now that’s all the bad news, there was definitely some good news in the last couple of weeks because there are some really good people in my life. Some of the people I manage bought me lunch for my birthday, a friend I grew up with and his wonderful family had dinner with me on my birthday. While in Las Vegas for the funeral, friends from New York had me to their house for dinner. That wasn’t the important part, it was the way I was greeted, both of them grabbed me and hugged me, they really and truly asked how I was doing, most importantly they meant it. We had a wonderful dinner and it was a great night. My brother and sister-in-law sent me a really amazing present, I got to Zoom with my littlest niece and nephews.

The other good news is that when I used to fall into this well, it was freefall and the walls of the well were smooth and black, there was no light, hitting the bottom hurt. Hitting the bottom hurt this time as well, the real difference though is the work I’ve done, mostly through writing the Ministry of Happiness. There’s a little light in the well today, and more importantly a ladder on the wall. For so long, when in the well I had no idea how to get out, that’s different now. I know the way out, this long weekend will give me the space to start that climb.

What I hope you take from this tonight is that since we all know these times will come, we have to understand how to be ready for them. We have to develop our own resiliency, whether that comes from building our own internal fortitude, or whether it comes from the careful building and nurturing of our support structures, even better doing both. Don’t wait until you’re in the well before you do the work, do the work now, and if you do that, you’ll sooner get back to happier days my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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A Critical Reminder

Posted on August 23, 2021 by Michael Kane

Forgive me tonight friends as I take a very circular route to get to where I want to go. About thirty years ago, Christ is it really thirty years?! I woke up one morning and headed for the kitchen in my apartment and there was a bum sleeping on my couch. I looked at him, he opened his eyes and said, “who the hell are you?” I replied, “I live here, who the hell are you?!” He smiled, “I liver here too.” That’s how I met my friend Keith, over the last thirty years we’ve certainly had some adventures, he’s one of the few humans who can truly get me to misbehave.

Turned out Keith, who’d just been deported from England, was my roommate Dan’s best friend from high school back in Las Vegas. Dan, being one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, had told him he could live on our couch. We would all go on to be roommates for a while, friends for much longer.

They must have done some kind of standardized testing in fourth grade because in fifth grade a couple of students got split out for advanced math work. There were three, the first two were of no surprise, everyone knew they were the smart kids. Hell one would eventually end up literally being a brain surgeon. I was the third and it was the start of a friendship that has grown and lasted for nearly fifty years. It started with John teaching me how to play chess, getting me into comic books and would continue through me being the best man in his wedding. He lived in the country and I was a street kid living with a single mom in the city. So we were school friends and in some ways led very different lives. As we got into high school he was a nerd, did his smart kid school thing and went home, collected comics, read, went to movies. I was a chameleon, during the day in class I was a nerd, after school I played a varsity sports in all three seasons, at night and outside of school I was a juvenile delinquent street kid. But I collected comics and read and went to movies and in high school John and I bonded around our love of science fiction, Dr. Who, movies including seeing this crazy new movie Star Wars together in the theater. We would see the opening days of the first 6 Star Wars movies together in two different states and three different cities.

The other night the phone rang, it was Keith, I couldn’t answer and he immediately texted call me, I knew something was up. Keith’s had a really tough last year or so and I was dreading what might have happened. Something had happened and honestly it was something that hadn’t in any way crossed my mind, Dan was dead. He died on vacation in Maui, while in the surf, they’re still not sure what exactly happened, but he was gone.

The next night, I was scrolling through John’s Facebook page and noticed a comment from a relative expressing condolences. I messaged him immediately, his mom had died.

At my age, pushing sixty, all of my friend’s parents, and mine are at least in their eighties, so it’s not a huge surprise when one passes. Although, as those of you who have lost parents know, no matter how expected, it’s still never easy. And honestly, I don’t normally get too impacted by these losses, but this one is a little different. John’s mom was one of the singly kindest humans I’ve ever met. She was someone who always made you feel welcome in her home, all ways seemed genuinely concerned about your well-being, always made time for you. There was a definite shortage of people who treated me like that when I was younger, so it meant a lot to me.

My friend Dan was similarly a truly nice person. He was a flaming liberal with a huge heart and more than anything was an incredibly moral person. We say nice guys finish last, but that never applied to Dan, he was highly intelligent and an incredibly talented and successful criminal defense attorney who led advocacy for clients at a level that changed the very system he worked in for the better. His loss has devastated so many people I know, it’s utterly heart breaking to watch all of this go down.

There’s an expression and a song by Billy Joel, only the good die young. If it’s true, you’re likely all going to be stuck hearing from me for a very long time. Whenever really kind, good people pass young I’m always brought back to my first experience with a really kind soul dying around my age.

Bowling was an important part of my life when I was younger. I remember my very first strike, on lane one at Hendrick Hudson Lanes. I was reminded of it often, the locker I shared with my mom was next to lane one. I bowled with a guy named David March, he was a tall, skinny kid with red hair. He was also the nicest person I knew at that time, a truly sweet and kind kid. He got terminal cancer, wasted away and died.

These are where my thoughts are right now as I watch friends grieve, as I grieve.

And there is a message in all of this, and it’s the quote by the Buddha that accompanies the image on this post, we think we have time. You never know, my friend a healthy 55 year old man went into the surf as he’d done a hundred times before and suddenly he was just gone.

You know that person you’ve wanted to call forever, that thing you’ve wanted to see or do, that relationship you need to mend, just do it. I know, we hear this a lot, but we don’t do it, the trouble is, we think we have time. ~ Rev Kane

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Breathe, Make the Best of Things

Posted on August 16, 2021 by Michael Kane

There isn’t a lot of good news available these days. The pandemic is ramping up again in the US with COVID rates, particularly in the Southeast hitting some of the highest rates we’ve seen. This has taken the joy out of what is normally a celebratory back to school time of the year. So while people are still posting images of children heading to school in their next grade, there is also a lot of nervousness around safety, controversy around parental choice and the need for vaccine mandates.

Massive fires are burning not only in the US, but across the globe including whole Greek Islands on fire. The US is leaving Afghanistan, and many feared this would mean the Taliban would come back into power, but no one thought in would happen in a week and Kabul has fallen today. To top it all off the worst IPCC climate report ever released has just come out the same time as the month of July was named the hottest month in recorded history. The cherry on top, two hurricanes are going to hit Florida this week.

It’s easy to spend time on social media doom scrolling yourself into anxiety driven paralysis.

So often the simplest advice is the best, breathe, relax. Even though the world may seem like a total shitshow right now. It’s important to remember that you should primarily focus on what’s under your control. You can’t fix Afghanistan, or solve global warming on your own, you can’t stop the entire pandemic.

So control what you can control.

Nervous about COVID, get vaccinated, wear a mask, wash your hands frequently, minimize your social contacts and don’t put yourself in situations where you will be in enclosed spaces with a lot of people for an extended period of time. You can’t perfectly protect yourself but you can greatly reduce your chances of getting ill, and particularly from getting seriously ill if you follow these certain steps.

Limit your news, social media and doom scrolling. Remember, almost all social media algorithms amplify what you look at the most. So, for instance, over the last year I’ve made a point of each day sharing a couple of pretty pictures off photo sites on Facebook. As a result, my Facebook feed’s suggested posts are mostly pretty nature pictures, by doing things like that your timeline becomes a less stressful place. I’ve also unfriended anyone who adds to my stress on my timeline, yes, even family members.

On Instagram, you only get posts from who you follow, so don’t follow anyone who posts things that increase your anxiety in any way. Also, limit the time you just cruise videos through reels on Instagram, Tik Tok and You Tube. The algorithms track what you stop on, so when you’re on those sites only stop on things that make you happy and as soon as something goes the other way, move on.

On Twitter, anytime I read a post that triggers bad feelings I unfollow the person. If the post is from someone you don’t follow, but liked by someone you do, you can unfollow that person and it will help improve your feed. Also, over the last few months, I’ve been liking and following poetry and writing prompt posts, like the pretty pictures on Facebook this has turned my feed into 80% writing posts, much more enjoyable, far less doom and gloom.

Then of course, as I’ve mentioned many times before, when you feel out of sorts there is some Taoist philosophy I have always found to be profound. It simply says if you feel out of sorts, then return to the basics. Eat good food, get enough sleep, exercise, make sure you feel safe. Make sure the basics are solid and it’s easier to bring everything else in line and have happier days my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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Back to school, go easy and a new project

Posted on August 8, 2021 by Michael Kane

Nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over. ~ Gary Finley

So tonight a grab bag of things to talk about, going back to school, going easy on yourself and a new project I’m working on.

Back to school

It’s that time of year for those of us tied to the school year calendar. So that means students, parents of students, teachers, administrator and anyone else working in education. This is an incredibly confusing and anxiety filled year for all of us and I’ve recently written about it on my Higher Ed Mentor blog in a piece called The Hardest Semester of Your Career. For all of us, there are masking requirements, or not, vaccine requirements, or not. Some of our jobs have changed to a remote status for at least part of the time, or not. Some of our jobs have changed permanently and as it’s being reported in the press, many of us have gone on to new jobs. Something I consider a silver lining for the COVID pandemic is that more people have decided to make happiness a larger factor in their lives and are chasing jobs that put happiness and life satisfaction ahead of money and climbing the corporate ladder.

For me this means a return to full-time or near full-time life on campus. I never fully went remote, I’ve had programs that I manage on campus for the last year. It’s been an incredibly frustrating process of continual change, confusing regulations and lots of moving parts that are often clarified with no recognition of the impact on managers like myself. So I fully expect this to be one of the more complicated and frustrating semesters I’ve ever faced. And with the Delta Variant and COVID cases on the rise again, I’m sure it’s due to get even more complicated. Well, one to three years til my next major life move, so here we go again.

Take it easy on yourself

Really just a reminder for all of us to not only provide grace to others in these tough times, but to provide grace to yourself. We’re all living through a time where we’ve been traumatized in one way or another. We are continuing to deal with lots of uncertainty in our world and lives. This means we are all anxious, we are stressed and as such we are all “off” in some way. I’ve talked here about my difficulty with motivation, something they call a state of languishing, over the last year. Not the get out of bed, or go to work lack of motivation, but motivation for the extra and frankly more important things I do in life, my writing, photography, travel, etc….

So understand that it’s okay if you’re not quite at normal in some ways. None of us are at our best, so be graceful and forgiving with yourself. Take a deep breath and try and put a better step forward tomorrow and if that takes longer than usual to be successful, that’s okay right now.

The Shambling Apocalypse

So on the note of projects that have been languishing, for some time I’ve had a Facebook page called The End is Here. I’ve been meaning to do a broader blog but the project has been languishing. There are a lot of little things to getting a new blog up and running. Picking a name is so much harder than you think, because you also have to consider the availability of domain names and similar names on the internet. My working title was the slow motion apocalypse but there’s a metal band with that name, so I moved on. After the name, you need an image, you need to pick a design theme and with every design theme there are an array of tiny differences from what you have used before that are amazingly frustrating until you get them figured out. I’ve also adjusted the Facebook page to correspond with the blog name.

The blog will center around the idea that we are already in the apocalypse albeit not like the movies but moving in slow motion. Experiencing a pandemic, economic and political instability, falling fertility rates, resource depletion and global climate change. My perspective is always a bit analytical as well as focused on how this all impacts you and what you can do to mitigate the effects on you, your children and the other people you care for and about. So, if you’re interested you can check out the blog at the ShamblingApocalypse.com

Upon learning of my new project a friend commented on Facebook, from the Ministry of Happiness to the Shambling Apocalypse, it’s been a hell of a year, and it has. However, regardless of what is happening in the world, you can always have happy days my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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Build a new better and happier you

Posted on August 2, 2021 by Michael Kane

It’s never too late, to be who you might have been. ~ George Eliot

I love the picture because of the idea of transformation that is encompassed by a ripped and bulked out minion. But I don’t just want to talk about physical transformations, although it’s where I’m going to start.

This post is focused on one single and simple message tonight, continuous improvement. We should all be attempting to get better over time. This does not have be obsessive, or overly taxing, but what’s the point of being alive if you aren’t learning anything from the experience?

So let’s start with our physical health, while yes, we are talking about continuously getting better, that doesn’t mean being in better physical condition at 60 than you were at 20, but it might. What I mean by this is at any point taking an assessment of where you are at and figuring out what needs to change to make you better. Developing a plan to do it and then following that plan. For me personally over the last year that has mean eating better to improve my blood sugar, working out in a different way to keep my cardio fitness outside of the gym and lifting more consistently to build some more muscle.

The goal at no point was to become fully Keto, never eat a pizza, run a marathon or become some kind of body builder. While I think you have to establish goals to give yourself something to aim for, the real win comes from doing better today, this week, this month or this year than you did the last. For me that has meant getting my blood sugar in the normal range, dropping some weight and running a 5k. I’m still not the best eater, I’m still technically overweight and the time for the 5K I talked about last week, wouldn’t even win the 80 and above category at any race. My sister, who just recently was also diagnosed with diabetes has done a much better job with her blood sugar and is regular 40 to 50 points lower than me. I’m proud of her for that and mention it here because she’s particularly happy when she beats me at things, so here’s a little public recognition to make her happy. Hey, it’s the Ministry of Happiness blog after all, we’re all about spreading happiness.

The key and most important thing is to assess where you are currently and simply figure out how to do better. How much? That’s up to you, but even small improvements over time can be beneficial from a health standpoint as long as you continue to make them.

Equally as important as your physical health is your mental health. This is the thing I have written the most about on this blog. And is something particularly on my mind as I officially report back to my office on campus this week.

Working from home has been tough for many people, due to complications with multiple people at home, lack of childcare, technical issues, etc… But for me, it’s been an absolute wonderful change. Now to be clear, I’m only talking about my at home work experience. COVID 19 has been horrid in so many ways for so many people, I’ve lost friends, happily no family members and we’ve all suffered mentally to a degree from the pandemic. However, for a heavy introvert and a person who is to a large degree a homebody, this was nearly my ideal work experience.

As a person whose main job is to manage people it has been nice to have some control over that aspect of the job. You see normally I have little control over interactions, you see people pop in the office, catch you at meetings, stop you in the hall, want to discuss things in the bathroom or while you’re walking across campus. They seem especially excited about talking to you at the exact second you have something due to your boss, or are about to leave campus for the day. Working from home all of those contacts come electronically. I choose when to reply to emails, texts and whether or not answer the phone when someone calls which gives me control over my time and space, an introvert’s dream.

Additionally, I have been able to schedule my time the way it suits me best and in a healthier way. I get to sleep in later since I don’t have get dressed up, eat before work or drive. I can eat later when I actually prefer to and cook food instead of re-heating things in a microwave all the time like I have to at work. At work, lunch almost always means eating at my desk while answering emails in between meetings. While at home I can actually take a break and eat while watching TV and spend 30 minutes away from business. This makes for a less stressful day. Finally, there is so much wasted time in the office, If there’s 30 minutes or an hour between meetings but I get interrupted with three, 10 minute conversations spaced apart, I basically lose the hour. What this means effectively is that I’m far more productive at home than in the office. I also can use the time in between meetings to do a short workout. This has led to me lifting more regularly over the last 15 months than at any other time in my life. Not to mention all of the multi-tasking benefits at home, doing laundry or cooking while I’m also working which has freed up a little extra time every night and on the weekends.

Being face to face with more people on a daily basis both in terms of social interaction and possible COVID contact makes this shift back a bit of an anxiety inducing event. Of course I’m a manager, so my job is to make sure that everyone else is taken care of, comes back in the way that’s best for them, and to help them with all of their mental health needs. Which of course begs the question, who is responsible for doing that for me? And regardless what may be on paper, the answer is also me.

In the end, the answer for all of us is that we are ultimately responsible for our own mental health. So remember if you are in a similar situation you have to stand for yourself. This means understanding your contract, your rights as an employee and how your supervisor works, but also what pressures they are under. You need to ask questions and you need to ask for what you need and want. Suffering in silence doesn’t do anyone any good and you don’t know what flexibility might exist if you don’t ask, so ask.

You also have to do all of the things you’ve always done to reduce stress and anxiety at work, but even more so. Don’t fall into the fallacy that things are as they were before or that you somehow now have to work harder to make up for lost time during the pandemic. Make sure you work when you work and take time off, that you do the things that help you reduce stress and don’t push so hard you burn out. Please take care of yourself my friends and have a happy day. ~ Rev Kane

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Something I’ve never done before

Posted on July 26, 2021 by Michael Kane

So today I did something I’ve never done before and it felt pretty good. I achieved a goal I’ve been chasing for a time. In March of 2020 I went to Mardi Gras, sure we’d been hearing about COVID 19 but it was in Europe and like SARS and MERS there was a pretty good chance it seemed it might be another primarily Asian epidemic. Shortly after returning from another amazing time in New Orleans COVID got real, real fast. A week or so later, we were closing campus, moving most classes online, suspending others, a week later we were working from home and are scheduled to return for the first time August 2nd, almost 18 months lataer.

Given the reality of things the gym was not a safe place to work out. I got a small bench and some dumbbells over time and was able to figure out my weight work, however my concern was with cardio. As someone who has high blood pressure, keeping my cardiovascular fitness is really important to keeping my blood pressure in check. So really there were two options, start jumping rope, which is really an excellent option but one I never seem to get into, or starting to run. I really hate to run, I mean really hate it. As I’ve said for years, I only run if there’s a ball in front of me or a dog behind me. But, given the options, I started in April of 2020 running the track at school. Man, that first night was incredible, I ran a very slow quarter mile on the track, walked a quarter then ran a second. The next day I was amazingly sore, it was a surprise, I typically walk 3-6 miles with no problem, but just this small bit of running beat me up bad.

I progressed over time but then we had to close the track at school down due to COVID. So I ended up finding a park to run in and kept working on it. I eventually even ran 2.4 miles one morning. My goal had been to run an Easter Bunny 5K but that race was cancelled and my motivation for running has flagged from time to time with no clear goal ahead. So a couple of months ago I set two goals, first to hit my goal weight of 175 by my birthday at the end of August, and to run a 5K by Thanksgiving. After my vacation I’ve been slow getting back to my weight loss goals, but I’ve re-entered the gym and the track at school has re-opened so I’ve been running regularly again (2 days a week) and even doing short runs on others day at the gym on the treadmill.

So this weekend I decided to tag a couple of things on my bucket list, the first was to see a great white shark and the second was to try and actually run a 5k for the first time. The shark trip was unfortunately a bust on the shark front, it was a little too cold for the white sharks to be at the surface. But it was a beautiful day on Monterey Bay, we saw a mother and calf set of Humpback Whales really close up and I did get a bucket list animal, I finally saw a sunfish, also called a Mola Mola up close. Didn’t have a chance for a good photo but got to see this giant about 7 feet away from me.

It was a really exciting encounter, I’d been a boat when one was spotted before but all I caught was a fin tip as it disappeared. This time I got to see it right at the surface, dive down a few feet and come back to the surface all on it’s side, only to tip back vertical and dive out of sight. In addition the tour company gave us vouchers for a free trip since things hadn’t panned out well. So a pretty awesome day all in all, as well as getting a slight sunburn while wearing SPF 50, once again proving I’m the second whitest man in America.

So after such a great Friday I was geared up to attempt my 5K on Saturday but I woke up Saturday and decided nope, lazy day, so I read, binged a bit of Killing Even and was basically lazy all day. So today was the day, I got up, ate a piece of coffee cake I’ve been saving, some eggs and a couple of hours later made my attempt.

My standard run right now is 6 laps, a mile and a half but I’m about to tick up to a mile and three-quarters. So today I was heading for 13 laps in order to get the 3.25 miles which is a 5K. Hitting lap seven I felt ok, ten laps would be 2.5 miles and the longest I’ve ever run. Around lap 9 I started to flag a bit and started thinking ten laps would still be a personal best and would be ok. Then my savior showed up, he was about 18 months old, an adorable little dude learning to ride his scooter. As I was doing lap 9 he got really excited to wave and say hi as I went by, it made my day. So we became running buddies, each lap as I came by he would say hi and wave excitedly, I would ask him if he wanted to race, he’d giggle and say no and the next lap we’d do it all over again. It was a nice pickup in my mood on each lap and he helped me hit my goal.

So I did my 5K, at the speed of an 80 year-old with a limp but I did it. My hope is to run one each month and even to do an official 5K race at some point. I grew up with a guy named Buddy, we been friends since little league and Bud runs the Turkey Trot 5K every year on Thanksgiving and I’ve always admired him for that, so I might just have to adopt his tradition.

Here’s a picture of me right after I finished and a minute before I grabbed my water bottle and laid naked in the periwinkle like a dork with the sun upon my nose. Ok, I kept my clothes on and it was grass, it was campus after all and I didn’t want to get arrested and fired.

The point tonight, beyond selfishly celebrating my achievement, is to remind you that you do need goals. Even little successes make you happier so you need to celebrate them. The bigger and more important point is that you should always try to get better. No matter your age or circumstances you can always get better, it just takes the will to do it. So take a deep breath, find the motivation and a way to reward yourself and go for it, get better and have happier days my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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Happy Little Whale Watch

Posted on July 19, 2021 by Michael Kane

I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order. ~ John Burroughs

I’ve written recently about being a bit in a funk, throughout the pandemic I’ve felt a bit lethargic, not really productive in my personal life. So this week I’ve made some more effort to get things rolling, I’ve been clicking off some of the things on my to do list. During the summers we get Fridays off, I really haven’t done much on the Fridays so far and they are running out far too quickly. So this week I put my Friday to good use and did a little whale watch out of Moss Landing just north of Monterey. It was an ok day, cloudy but the water was really calm and the temperature was good. We saw a few sets of humpbacks, a nice couple of pods of Rizzo Dolphins and the normal set of Monterey Bay critters, Pelicans, Otters, Sea Lions, Harbor Seals and some really cool Moon Jellyfish.

Hoping to head out again in a couple of weeks to do a Great White Shark trip, hoping it works out as well, enjoy the photos and have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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My COVID Times Diary: This was a test

Posted on July 14, 2021 by Michael Kane

There’s also some element of coming of age during the Reagan administration, which everybody has painted as some glorious time in America, but I remember as being a very, very dark time. There was apocalypse in the air; the punk rock movement made sense. ~ John Cusak

Please stand by, this has been a test of the Global Apocalypse Response System, this has only been a test. How do you know it’s been a test, well if it wasn’t a test, I’m pretty damn sure you would not be reading this on the internet. There is an amazing book by Laurie Garrett, written in 1995 entitled, “The Coming Plague: Newly Emerging Diseases in a World Out of Balance.” In this book she basically predicts diseases like SARS, MERS and COVID 19 nearly 25 years before they appeared. Is she a witch, a psychic? No, just a rational, logical scientist who looked at the way we’re disturbing the environment, saw the emergence of diseases like HIV and Ebola and did some simple extrapolation. The title really tells you the story of the entire book, but it’s still worth a read.

But those diseases weren’t the apocalypse, COVID 19 has done a decent impression of the 1918 Flu, but of course we have much better medicine, treatments and hospitals than we did 100 years ago. And of course we have recently mastered CRSPR, which combined with a decade of work to develop vaccines for SARS and MERS allowed us to far more quickly develop a vaccine than ever before. You see the CRSPR technique allows for massively faster and easier gene manipulation, which is why we were able to so quickly develop mRNA vaccines for COVID 19. COVID 19 is a good virus, by that I mean it does the right things to survive, sure it kills some people, but mostly it doesn’t, and it doesn’t incapacitate them, sometimes it’s even asymptomatic. All of that means there’s a high likelihood that once it infects you, you’ll likely infect someone else, this after all is the core requirement for a virus’ existence.

So this wasn’t Captain Trips, if you’ve read Steven King’s, The Stand, you know what I’m talking about. This wasn’t that rare combination of an easy to spread, slow to fully develop illness with high mortality. That combination is the death knell of civilization as we know it, the kind of disease that could wipe out 95% of humanity. But the Apocalypse, and I’ll define that simply as events, fast or slow that result in a monumental impact on civilization as we know it, the Apocalypse does not have to be triggered by one thing.

Much like a stacked dominoes tipping into each other until all the dominoes have fallen, a disease could trigger lots of other issues, or be triggered by other issues such as Climate Change. We all live, mostly for reasons of necessary sanity, with the fantasy that this can never really happen. It really is just something in dystopian literature and films. We have even moved people who think about and prepare for the possibilities, “preppers/survivalists” to the margins of society and deem them to be nutjobs.

Part of the stress induced by the COVID pandemic was while it was a test, it was a good enough of a test to pierce through our illusion of the impossibility of the Apocalypse. We’ve gotten a really excellent view into how are fellow humans would react to the real thing. One thing that was absolutely proven to us, is that our fellow humans will NOT act rationally. How can I say that? Let’s start with the first thing that became a really hard to find commodity as a result of the pandemic, toilet paper. That’s right, people starting hoarding, of all things, toilet paper! Sure they moved on to some sensible things like hand sanitizer, but toilet paper was first. At various times, the hoarding hit Top Ramen style soups, then meat, then dried beans, canned foods and this was all in response to virus, that while it has killed 600,000+ people in America, that was out of roughly 35 million infections or about a 2% mortality rate.

We saw lock downs, silent streets and highways, people in some instances didn’t leave their homes for months in any significant way. The way we worked completely changed and continues to have implications. Our economy was heavily impacted and we are still seeing global supply chain issues that are leading to at least temporary inflation. The rich got richer and the poor got poorer and angrier, as did people disenfranchised in so many ways. And the world as a whole got nuttier. Political unrest globally is climbing, murder rates in the US are climbing and the political rift between right and left in America is now a chasm. So much so that one side of the debate has decided to abandon science and health recommendations in order to make it an issue for political gain.

And this was only a test, and the test isn’t over, the delta variant has shown us that. I know it’s scary as hell to think about things like the possibility of the world collapsing. But let’s not be stupid, a test is a good thing, as I always told my students when I was teaching. A test tells you where you are and what you need to get better at. So what did the COVID 19 test teach you?

I’m one of those nutjob preppers, to a degree. When COVID madness hit, I had toilet paper, medical supplies, I have a month’s supply of food, had latex gloves, masks, bleach, hand sanitizer all on hand. Not a year’s worth but enough to get by for a time until I could figure out how things would work during the pandemic. Now I realized I need to do a better job on a few fronts, things like having a longer supply of my medications on hand, I discovered I need to do a better job of rotating my emergency supplies, but all in all, I was pretty prepared.

What my preparations did for me was put me in a position of locking down without having to go without, or be terribly inconvenienced until I had time to assess what the new rules of the world were and that gave me piece of mind when a lot of other people were quite frankly freaking out. But we have the vaccines and for the overwhelming majority of us this all worked out ok. It gave us all some remember when stories we can tell friends when we gather in the coming years.

But don’t let what you learned in the test be a waste. It might not be a pandemic, but a wildfire, a collapsed building, an earthquake, political unrest. All of those things have happened in America in the last year and all of them could domino into something bigger that could force you to be on your own for weeks at a time. One of the things that is pretty common in dystopian literature, is that moment when a character realizes, the police, or national guard isn’t just going to show up with food, water and medicine. That’s the panic reality moment, I’m hoping the test has spurred you into putting yourself into a situation where that panic reality moment can come later than sooner.

This has been a test, a test of the Global Apocalypse Response System, this was only a test. The next time may not be.

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What’s your purpose and passion?

Posted on July 12, 2021 by Michael Kane

The purpose of life is a life of purpose. ~ Robert Byrne

Let’s start here, I have a very good life. I’m thankful for what I have, because even given all the work I’ve done to get where I am, no one gets by without help and at least a little luck. I’m relatively healthy, I have people that care about me and people I care about, even if there’s a bit of geography between us. I’ve accomplished many of the goals I’ve set forward that I wanted to achieve in life. I’ve got a job that pays me well, it provides very little personal satisfaction, but it pays well and in the end the work I do helps people improve their lives so the purpose of it all is fairly noble and that’s enough to get me through another few years to retirement.

What I’ve been realizing lately is that there are two things missing in my life, purpose and passion. Now, it’s not like I’m’ a complete nihilist, although the pandemic knocked me for a loop and left me a bit of a nihilist over the last few months, a condition I’m trying to reverse. But the bigger issue is a lack of purpose. This doesn’t mean I don’t have plans, I do. I have a pretty good path to retirement in a few years and some great plans for after.

And there are things I’m passionate about, I love photography and can happily spend hours shooting just about anywhere. My love for travel and new cultures is quite apparent to anyone who reads this blog regularly. But, like most of you, I have to eat and have a job that provides for me but doesn’t allow me to follow my passions. I do my best to pursue them when I can, and have done better than most in terms of quitting my job every few years and taking time to travel, sometimes for up to two years.

But the piece that is most missing for me is purpose. We all stumble across that existential existence question sooner or later. Why am I here, what has my life accomplished? For a lot of us we answer this question in the very existence of the species, by having and raising children we can fulfill this purpose. But for those of us who don’t have children, there isn’t such a straightforward answer.

So as I get older and start looking at the end of my life, how will I answer that existential question? I think for all of us, our interactions with people are part of our legacy. I would like to believe that for the most part, I’ve had a positive impact on the people I’ve interacted with in my life. I hope that the scales are tipped more in favor of the good I’ve done for people over the harm I’ve caused. We’ve all done a bit of both for sure. I especially hope that I’ve done more harm than good for my nieces and nephews.

What I feel most lacking right now is a purpose I can feel passionate about. For me, my work is work, not my purpose and not a passion. My photography, travel and writing are passions but not a purpose. So I’m on a bit of quest right now, it’s one that has seemed so immense, that it’s paralyzed me for a while. It’s one of those times I’m being forced to look back on the advice I give others while searching for a career path. And the first thing is to lay on a rock and let snowflakes fall on your head and let your mind go. Given the time of year however, I may have to refer to a bit of wisdom from Bloom County, and perhaps it’s far too long since I’ve been a naked dork, lying naked in the periwinkle with the sun upon my nose. Step 1 is set, I’ll keep you posted. ~ Rev Kane

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The Simple Joys of Life

Posted on July 6, 2021 by Michael Kane

The Simple Joys of Life

It’s been a long, complicated and hard year for most people. As life starts to come back to whatever we consider normal, I have found it difficult to figure out what I went to do as I return to pre-pandemic life. Part of the problem I think for me is that I’m over thinking the whole thing. It seems in many ways that I feel like I have to do something big to make up for lost time, and then once I consider the actual realities of where we still are in terms of the pandemic, I end up not doing anything.

Oddly, starting to go to the gym again has given me some insight into this issue for me. I’d almost forgotten how much I like the simple structure of gym time. While I did a good job over the last year of working out with dumbells at home. I was able, due to working from home, to stay really consistent with a lifting schedule and that was great. But it doesn’t compare to having the variety of equipment available as well as being able to combine cardio easily with my lifting schedule. But after a few days in the gym I missed my daily walks and so today, on a particularly sunny day, took a nice long walk after my gym workout.

A big reminder for me in this is how much we need to focus on the simple things in life that make us happy. For me this week, I had a big reminder besides the lovely walk today. My littlest niece got her birthday presents from me and my brother sent me a lovely picture of her holding them all at once. The look on her face was that, I don’t know which one I want to deal with first look. Later that day she sent me an Instagram video with a filter that made her a pickle, and it just repeated with her saying, “look, I’m a pickle.” Made my whole day that she wanted to send me that.

Today I took a nice slow walk by the ocean and really was present during the walk, reminding myself how much I love the fact that I live close enough to do that anytime I feel the need. It’s important to focus on how these little things can bring incredible joy into our lives. Especially given that the little things are so much more accessible and overall likely provide the bulk of our happiness.

Whenever I think about the idea of simple pleasures in my life I think about a particular day I had right in the middle of much bigger adventure. I wrote about this in my book about the Appalachian Trail, and it happened in Virginia. On a really perfect summer hiking day, you know the type, 75 degrees with a nice breeze and big puffy while clouds in the skies. I walked into a county park, it was marked on the hiking maps because there was piped drinkable water and actual bathrooms. So I stopped in the park to eat lunch. On the trail it was always a good day when you had someplace you could stop, sit at a picnic table, not have to treat water and have an actual bathroom to use, maybe even find a vending machine with a coke.

But the most magnificent part of the day was after lunch when I decided to just take a break. So I threw my pack up on the table and laid down in the sun and just watched clouds. I hadn’t done that since I was a kid. And I laid there for about two hours, it was funny, people I knew on the trail would come through the park, say hi, hang out and split but I just laid there. It felt great, it was a moment in my life when I felt absolutely no obligation, and no pressure. It truly felt like I was a kid again. The fact was, I could get up and hike to where I was planning on camping that night, or I could lay there all day and hang my hammock in the park for the night. Those simple, free and unobligated moments in life are few and far between as an adult.

When you find yourself in a moment of simple pleasure, it’s important to slow down, become present and really immerse yourself in how wonderful and special those times are and have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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