The Ministry of Happiness

Holiday Happiness: Christmas Eve Traditions

Posted on December 24, 2020 by Michael Kane

Holiday Happiness: Christmas Eve Traditions

There is no ideal Christmas; only the one Christmas you decide to make as a reflection of your values, desires, affections, traditions. ~ Bill McKibbon

The holidays are a very stressful time for everyone and an exceptionally hard time for some. So, until the New Year I’ll be posting a Holiday Happiness post each day to try help folks out who are struggling. As always you can reach out to me at Happinesskane@aol.com for a kind word or someone to listen. ~ Rev Kane

So Christmas Eve can be one of the loneliest nights of the year. It’s that night where families typically gather, it’s a more intimate night than Christmas Day and Christmas Dinner. It gives you time to think about way too much, and if there is nothing coming Christmas morning, well, thinking about that can weigh heavily on your mind.

If you read this blog you know I’m a loner, and generally live a fairly solitary life. As much as I enjoy Thanksgiving, I rarely have Thanksgiving with other people. So, one of the things that I created for myself was a new solo tradition for Thanksgiving Day. For some reason, I’m not sure why, I haven’t done the same for Christmas or Christmas Eve. Likely it comes from my utter dislike of the holiday. As I’ve talked about before, I love giving gifts, love watching kids experience Christmas but when you don’t have that, all you have left are your memories of past Christmases and in my case a lot of those are bad.

So tonight I have come up withsome Christmas Eve traditions that you might be able to incorporate into your own life to make Christmas Eve a bit better. Enjoy and I hope you find one that works for you. ~ Rev Kane

Christmas Eve Cocoa and meditation

This one is pretty self-explanatory. Cook up some cocoa, not with booze. Booze is a depressant and remember we’re trying to avoid being bummed out. But you can get real fancy with cocoa, there’s real expensive cocoa, marshmallows, mini-marshmallows and all kinds of funky, peppermint and chocolate spoons.

I know the term meditation messes with some people, so meditation or quiet reflection. If you want you can look up some guided meditations on the web and listen to them. Or sit quietly sipping cocoa and listen to your favorite music or podcasts. Basically, the goal for this idea is a nice quiet relaxing night.

Anti-Christmas Movies and Cookies

For those who don’t particularly love Christmas, there are a number of movies out there that are either about, or occur at Christmas that are what I would consider anti-Christmas movies. Here’s a list, so how about you bake up a batch of your favorite cookies, they don’t have to be Christmas cookies. I’d opt for oatmeal chocolate chip personally. Then sit down with a bunch of cookies, milk and some really awesome anti-Christmas movies. You could do fancy popcorns instead but I prefer cookies. Here’s a lits of movies:

My personal favorite is Gremlins, it’s not just a great movie but Phoebe Cates’ character has a speech about why she hates Christmas that will validate any negative feelings you have about the holiday and why people shouldn’t get down on people about it.

The Ice Harvest, a good Christmas caper movie including Billy Bob Thornton the king of anti-Christmas movies.

Sticking with Billy Bob, Bad Santa, is about as anti-Christmas, while still being a little heart-warming in a hilarious way, that you can get. There is so much to love about this movie, but make no mistake, it’s rude, crude and socially unacceptable in almost every way.

Krampus, can’t get much more anti standard Hallmark Christmas than Krampus, a movie about a really bad form of Christmas visitor. It’s a pretty standard monster movie in a lot of ways, but a lot of fun to watch.

There are other movies worth mentioning, Trading Places has some funny Christmas action, the Ref is a good anti-Christmas film but if you’re trigger around Christmas is shitty family, stay away from it. Die Hard of course happens around a Christmas party and has some great lines. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang features Robert Downey Jr and is a good film. I hesitate but I guess I should include National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, just for the sheer disrespect it shows for the holiday. My last one is Reindeer Games, an ok movie you’ve likely never seen about a robbery and featuring very young Ben Afflek and Charlize Theron.

Bake and wrap presents for the homeless

This one is really self-explanatory, altruism makes us all feel better. So do some giving and spend Christmas Eve backing cookies, and creating holiday bags, socks would be huge for homeless people. Then Christmas Day, drive around just randomly handing out the bags.

Do an art project

This can be something you already do or you can spend the night trying something new. Pinterest is a great site for finding ideas and this link has over 2000 different ideas. So a few days earlier find a couple of ideas, get your supplies, crank the tunes and do some art.

Christmas Eve Astronomy

One of the nice things about cold December nights is that the dry cold air is likely to yield beautiful cold clear skies. So, do a little astronomy. Gear up, hot beverage, sleeping bag, binoculars, get a sky map and go out and teach yourself some constellations. Or take your camera and do some night photography. Even better, borrow a friend’s telescope and take a good look at the stars.

I hope one of the ideas works for you and gives you a way to spend a happy Christmas Eve and a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in Holiday Happiness | Tagged be happy, Christmas, christmas eve, depression, happiness, holiday, holiday depression, holidays, tradition | 4 Comments

My COVID Times Diary: Our Values

Posted on December 23, 2020 by Michael Kane

My COVID Times Diary: Our Values

If you don’t stick to your values when they are being tested they aren’t values: they’re hobbies. ~ Jon Stewart

Here in America, we have lived with the COVID pandemic for over nine months now. Correspondingly we are living through a period of extreme political partisanship. This period of time has had an interesting and revealing effect on our society.

Let’s talk about stress and pressure. Something that I have observed over my lifetime is that people’s true nature is often revealed when they are under pressure. Much like people when they are drinking, being under pressure seems to knock off their inhibitions and masks. This means that people often react and act in ways that they wouldn’t, if they were carefully hiding behind their carefully constructed masks. Ways that have a tendency to reflect what they truly think, believe and value.

COVID has certainly been this type of stressful time. I have seen it at work, people I work with have been revealed in interesting ways. There are people who have stepped up and into roles that I had not thought previously capable of, and of course the opposite has happened as well.

The place I have seen it the most has been on social media in relation to politics and COVID policies. The political revelations have not been surprising, but they have been deeper than I had previously encountered from people. There has also been so much more noise around these issues than normal, so much so that I have begun to limit my social media connections. But the most disturbing revelations have been around COVID safety.

People often profess that they care about the welfare of their fellow human. Many have religious beliefs that also profess to have the same type of core value of caring. One of the reasons I like the Jon Stewart quote above is that COVID has truly tested our values, particularly how much we care about of fellow human.

Let me apologize for the soap box I’m about to climb up upon. I don’t believe a lot of you. You see I see your posts and rants about this or that idiot who isn’t taking COVID seriously, or called it a hoax, or thinks it’s not anymore dangerous than the the flu. But then I also see your rage when measures are put into place, for safety, that inconvenience you. I see your photos on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter where you are clearly either not wearing a mask in a crowd, in a crowd, or taking a picture with the friend you haven’t seen for years. In all of these situations you are putting yourself at risk for contracting COVID, you’re not following safety recommendations, or you are, but only when it’s convenient, or when you want to and by doing so are putting other people at risk of sickness and/or death.

Around Thanksgiving I kept having the same conversation with people, right after they told me how careful they were being for the holiday because they take COVID seriously, they would soon follow up with a list of all the people coming to their house for dinner. Recently, people keep asking me if I’m going to visit family for Christmas, or hoping, since I live alone, that I’ll be with people at Christmas. Obviously, if I were to do that, I wouldn’t be following COVID precautions. What that tells me, is that these people are going to make sure they are with people for the holidays and will not be taking the level of precautions that they should. This is simply the biggest reason that the United States is one of, if not the, highest infection and death rate on Earth.

It makes me sad for two reasons. First, it clearly shows me that the core value of caring for your fellow human isn’t very strong. It can’t be, if it can’t overcome by simple inconvenience. Second, it also shows that understanding science isn’t relevant to Americans. If we can’t overcome inconvenience to save others, if we so highly doubt scientific fact and research, particularly when there is a clear an imminent threat to our lives. Then how will we ever tackle an issue like global warming that is long-term and highly complex. Honestly, it all just makes me terribly sad and really decimates my remaining faith in humanity. All I can personally do, is to do my best to stick to my own core values. However it is having another impact on my life. I’m finding myself drifting away from those people who have shown to not to be true to their values, or who don’t have them in the first place. I’ve never felt that I can only be friends with people who have identical values to me, but I find that I have less affection for people who know what their values are and stick to them.

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged caring, core values, coronavirus, COVID, humanity, political division, values | 2 Comments

Holiday Happiness: Being Mindful During the Holidays

Posted on December 23, 2020 by Michael Kane

Holiday Happiness: Being Mindful During the Holidays

Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy. ~Robert Brault

Tonight a couple of pieces both focusing on staying happy in the moment:

Living in the moment really does make you happier

Thich Nhat Hanh on Mindfulness

Posted in Holiday Happiness | Tagged be happy, Christmas, depression, happiness, holiday, holiday blues, holidays, mindfulness, thich nhat hanh | Leave a comment

Holiday Happiness: Inspirational Quotes

Posted on December 22, 2020 by Michael Kane

Holiday Happiness: Inspirational Quotes

The holidays are often a very stressful period for people so for the next 34 days (Thanksgiving through Christmas) we’re going to do a post a day, something happy and uplifting each day, perhaps an image, a poem, a quote, a moment of happiness or some bit of wisdom all in an effort to boost everyone’s happiness a little bit. You can do your part by paying it forward, send these little bits of happiness on to others and ask that they do the same and as always, have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

75 Inspirational quotes on life and happiness

Holiday Happiness: Funny Holiday Stories

Posted on December 21, 2020 by Michael Kane

Holiday Happiness: Funny Holiday Stories

A day without laughter is a day wasted. ~ Charlie Chaplin

Tonight a few funny holiday stories to brighten your day, the first, is by far the best. ~ Rev Kane

Funny Christmas travel stories, jokes and news items

Holiday pet stories

Happy Holidays: 2020 Silver Linings

Posted on December 21, 2020 by Michael Kane

Happy Holidays: 2020 Silver Linings

I would do my damn best to be more happy than not. You’ve already experienced so much bullshit so you can always look back on how things could be worse. That’s my two cents. ~ Adam Silvera

There are only two Sunday nights, so two new Ministry of Happiness weekly posts left for the year. While most people would likely pick this post to talk about the wonders of Christmas, and the last to review the year, I think you all know by now I don’t do things like other people do. The simple thing is I don’t like Christmas, it’s never been a happy holiday for me. I make the most of it, find my joy in being a good gift giver, particular for the children in my life, my little nieces and nephews. But given that I live quite far from them, those gifts have long since been bought, wrapped and shipped.

Heck some of them have already been snooped. One of my nieces partially unwrapped her gifts to figure out what they are, and so her parents wouldn’t know she did it, she re-wrapped them. Of course, I used clear scotch tape, she used duct tape to re-seal them which is what got her busted. The whole incident gave me a pretty good chuckle. So really for me, Christmas will just be another Friday, albeit with a nicer meal than normal. This year planning on a little surf and turf, T-bone steak and a baked shrimp dish, all the fixins and some homemade desert. A check-in with the little ones as well, although they are always completely overwhelmed on Christmas morning so it’s usually brief.

So tonight, I want to review the year a bit, particularly with a positive lens. It’s been a hard year in so many ways for so many people, I think it’s important that we all find some time to reflect on the silver linings for 2020.

Silver Linings for 2020

First and foremost it’s important, in a year where so many people became sick and died, when so many people lost jobs and business that I give thanks for where I am in life. At this point in my life, after a lot of hard work, I’m privileged to be in a place that when the pandemic erupted my job was secure. I live alone, so working from home was not a burden, in fact as a pretty heavy introvert, in some ways it’s been pleasurable not to have to be face to face interacting with people all day. Also living alone, it’s meant that I was only responsible for keeping myself from getting sick. So it was all on me and so far, so good I have been fortunate enough as far as I know, to not have been infected with COVID.

On the health front other things have gone well this year as well. Not having access to a gym pushed me to buy a bench, some hand weights and to take up running. I’m actually lifting weights more regularly than I have ever done before. I’m also running several days a week and recently, for the first time in my life, ran over two miles. This has helped be keep my weight consistently around 190 pounds. Over the last couple of years I’ve stayed under 200 pounds for the first time, typically around 195 and now, I’ve moved that to 190 pushing toward my eventual goal of 175. My blood pressure has stayed consistent and my heart conditions have made no negative progressions. I’m still struggling with my blood sugar, but I stress eat and it’s been a stressful year, but I’m working on it.

At work, our new realities put me under a lot of pressure but also gave me an opportunity to highlight my abilities. I do well under stress, and the stress of the last few months have allowed me to create and collaborate on new policies and for my area to be the test subject through several new district processes. Handling those things well has given me the opportunity to show my abilities to folks working at the district office level, something that likely wouldn’t have happened for some time without COVID.

In all stressful times we learn a lot about the people we interact with. I’ll be writing a post later this week about how our COVID times have revealed people’s values. The extra pressure of the last nine months has done a lot to reveal people. Partially as a result, I’ve significantly reduced my social media presence, had my opinions of some people really changed and mostly just wanted to turn down the noise in my life. I find myself focusing more and more on the people who are real in my life. The people I physically see and talk to off of social media. I’m trying to focus on the quality of my relationships while reducing the quantity of my relationships. This has also meant letting go of some people I’ve hung on to for some time. It’s not easy for me, if you meant something to me at some time, my nature is to hang on to you, work at keeping connection, even if it’s somewhat or even really one-sided. This year has allowed me to make the move to letting go, and focusing down to the quality connections in my life.

So 2020 has certainly had it’s challenges, but I think for all of us right now, it’s important to realize it also gave us all gifts, brought us all some kind of happiness. Especially during the holidays, as the year wraps up, focusing on and staying positive is really important as the holidays are often the most stressful part of the year. So happy holidays my friends, whatever or however you celebrate, may you find joy and peace as we end one year and move on to the next. Have a happy day ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged 2020, Christmas, coronavirus, COVID, health, new year, positivity, silver linings, staying positive, year in review | Leave a comment

Happiness Podcasts

Posted on December 20, 2020 by Michael Kane

Happy Holidays: Happiness Podcasts

Each year during the holidays I try and provide some additional posts about happiness to help keep people’s moods positive during the holidays. I do this, because for many people like myself, the holidays are often the hardest times of the year. ~ Rev Kane

Recently I’ve started listening to a lot of podcasts, so I decided tonight to look around the web for some podcasts on happiness. So a few suggestions tonight on some podcasts to listen to in order to help you on your happiness journey.

The ten percent happier podcast

Consider Dan Harris your personal meditation coach. Launched from his best-selling book of the same name, the Ten Percent Happier podcast goes beyond meditation and equips listeners with the emotional and mental skills they need to boost their sense of fulfillment, relaxation, and peace of mind.

The Wellness Mama podcast

If you’re looking to reduce stress, fill your life with more optimism, and create a healthier home environment, give the Wellness Mama podcast a download. Host and founder Katie Wells, a certified health coach, mother of six, blogger, and author, turned her personal health research into a weekly podcast where she and top experts unpack topics including nutrition, sleep, natural life hacks, mental health, and parenting.

Positivity podcast

The Positivity Podcast is hosted by Paul McKenna, the author of several self-help books. McKenna makes use of his experience as a television and radio broadcaster. In this podcast, he interviews some of the world’s most interesting people including film stars, entrepreneurs and entertainers, with the non-journalistic format making you feel like you’re listening to a conversation. From there, you will gain insight into the tricks, hacks, and ways that his guests use to stay positive.

The Positive Head podcast

Brandon Beachum, the host of The Positive Head Podcast, believes that it’s a daily conscious effort to maintain a positive mindset. His podcast is ready to help you with that.

Happier with Gretchen Rubin

If you’re already happy, Gretchen Rubin wants you to be happier. Rubin is the author of bestsellers, The Happiness Project and Better Than Before. In this podcast, Happier With Gretchen Rubin, which Rubin co-hosts with her sister Elizabeth Craft, they bring you advice on good habits and how to live a happier life.

The Good Life Project

Start your week right by listening to The Good Life Project hosted by Jonathan and Stephanie Fields which airs every Monday. Join the couple’s raw, intimate, and honest conversations on life, including how to live life to the fullest and how to live with a sense of purpose. They also interview different interesting personalities including Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love and even Gretchen Rubin, the podcast host of Happier With Gretchen Rubin.

Posted in Holiday Happiness, personal happiness | Tagged be happy, Christmas, Good life, gretchen rubin, happiness, holidays, new year, podcasts | Leave a comment

Holiday Happiness: Holiday Mood Improvement Resources

Posted on December 19, 2020 by Michael Kane

Holiday Happiness: Holiday Mood Improvement Resources

Normality is a paved road; It’s comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow. ~ Vincent Van Gogh

So tonight I thought I would provide some resources for thinking about and improving your mood during the holiday season. First off a really nice article from WebMD on Holiday Blues, and some tips on how to deal with them.

Similarly a piece from the Mayo Clinic, some information about causes, reasons and tips for helping you cope.

9 Tips on dealing with Holiday Depression

Finally as some one who has dealt with this issue much of his life I have some personal tips as well. First of all, acknowledge the reality of who you are and how you feel. You don’t have to put yourself into situations that make you feel bad. It’s ok to skip the office or even family holiday party if all it’s going to do is make you feel shitty. If holiday decorations are just a reminder of what you don’t have in your life, don’t decorate, or even better decorate in some offbeat and fun way.

For me, as much as I don’t like the holidays, I like gift giving. So I start early and take extra time to buy really good gifts for people. It gives me joy and improves my mood to give those gifts and see the joy I bring to others. I’ve also written about the benefits of giving and kindness and their positive impact on mood.

Also, find some time to get outside to go for walks, to hike, to just spend some time in nature and clear your head. Essentially, if this time of year is hard for you, do things that make you feel better, make them a priority, and give yourself permission to avoid the things that make you feel worse and have happier days my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in Holiday Happiness, personal happiness | Tagged Christmas, depression, holiday blues, Holiday Happiness, holidays, resources, van gogh | Leave a comment

My COVID Times Diary: Hope and Death

Posted on December 18, 2020 by Michael Kane

My COVID Times Diary: Hope and Death

We have always held to the hope, the belief, the conviction that there is a better life, a better world, beyond the horizon. ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

Pale death beats equally at the poor man’s gate and at the palaces of kings. ~ Horace

We’re nine months into the pandemic in the United States. I know there is no official start date, but for me it will always be March 12th, the day we closed the college I work at in the Bay Area of California. There has been an ebb and flow to the whole thing here in California. When the virus hit we went into a pretty extreme lockdown, it hurt businesses but it worked. The Bay Area lagged behind the state and many other urban areas in America in terms of infections and death. The mantra in the beginning was flatten the curve, in other words, be careful and stretch out the infections so that our hospitals wouldn’t get overwhelmed, thus saving lives. It worked, the curve flattened and the Bay Area did well, that was phase I.

Phase II was us letting our guards down, we re-opened business, salons, bars and people dropped their guards. The inevitable result was that over the summer, particularly around the holidays cases began to spike again. In California like many other places around the country we started this game of tiers, stages, color coded alert levels. Governments tried to tie the level of open business to the level of infection in the community, most places. But Americans are a stubborn bunch and places like the Dakotas, who were relatively unscathed in the early going ignored the precautions. Hell, they even held the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally with thousands upon thousands of people gathering from around the country. The results were inevitable and cases exploded in the Dakotas to some of the worst rates of infection in the country, likely in the world.

After the silliness of people gathering all summer for barbecues and parties, ignoring mask wearing and social distancing protocols, rates first spiked and then started to drop again as the fall approached. But then came phase III – the holidays, Halloween, four weeks later Thanksgiving and four weeks after that, two weeks from now will be Christmas and New Years. Public health officials warned us that if we gathered there would be a spike, there would be deaths. But we didn’t listen, we went to Halloween parties and trick or treated. How do I know? Well my social media feeds were full of pictures of people, maskless, at parties, gathering with friends. So cases rose accordingly. Then we gathered for Thanksgiving, went to sporting events etc… and we got a spike on the spike. Currently, 3000 people are dying every day, that’s two people every minute, every day. You would think this would scare people into changing their behavior but it won’t. How do I know? People have been reaching out to me and many say, “I hope you’ll be with people for Christmas or are you visiting family?” Since I live alone, and they know this, this means they think it’s perfectly reasonable for the holidays to visit family and friends. So expect a spike, upon a spike, upon a spike. We’re talking about hundreds of thousands of cases per day, 3000+ deaths daily or more.

Yes, there’s hope on the horizon, but before that hope can be realized we will massacre ourselves in droves and droves like suicidal lemmings going off a cliff. I’m so incredibly disappointed in my fellow Americans. So disappointed that people are not willing to inconvenience themselves to ensure the survival of others. My heart breaks for the people like nurses, doctors, supermarket workers ad others who are risking infection and death daily because they have to, while others so carelessly ignore the reasonable recommendations of public health officials.

There is hope of course, multiple vaccines are approved, or in the approval process. In fact, here in a America we started vaccinating people, mostly healthcare workers this very week. It’s not unreasonable to think by the the fall of 2021 that most of us will have the chance to be vaccinated. But between vaccine hesitancy, and people stopping precautions because they think it’s over, we’re a long way from being past this. I know everyone is tired of the precautions but it didn’t have to be this way. We could have masked up, we could have social distanced. That would have gotten businesses, schools open permanently sooner. How do I know? Well, other countries have done just that, but we haven’t. So we’ve got lots of death and now, with the vaccines, lots of hope. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in Life in Covid Times | Tagged coronavirus, COVID, covid times, death, FDA approval, hope, social distancing, vaccine | Leave a comment

Holiday Happiness: Elf on the Shelf Ideas

Posted on December 18, 2020 by Michael Kane

Holiday Happiness: Elf on the Shelf Ideas

One of the things I do actually enjoy about Christmas is watching children experience the wonder and amazement of it all, their expressions while opening presents. If we could bottle that kind of joy we’d really have something. One of the things I’ve really thought was cool has been the Elf on the Shelf bit that has popped up over the last few years. So tonight, if you’re doing the Elf on the Shelf, I thought I’d consolidate a whole bunch of ideas for you in one spot. Enjoy and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

This first set is incredibly awesome, 31 great ideas

50 Elf on the Shelf Ideas

66 placements for your Elf on the Shelf

A site dedicated to just this, Elfontheshelfideas.com

7 Non-Messy Elf on the Shelf Ideas

Ideas from Pinterest

A lot of ideas on this one but you have to link out to the pics

The Ministry of Happiness

Holiday Happiness: Christmas Eve Traditions

Holiday Happiness: Christmas Eve Traditions

Christmas Eve Cocoa and meditation

Anti-Christmas Movies and Cookies

Bake and wrap presents for the homeless

Do an art project

Christmas Eve Astronomy

My COVID Times Diary: Our Values

My COVID Times Diary: Our Values

Holiday Happiness: Being Mindful During the Holidays

Holiday Happiness: Being Mindful During the Holidays

Holiday Happiness: Inspirational Quotes

Holiday Happiness: Inspirational Quotes

75 Inspirational quotes on life and happiness

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

Holiday Happiness: Funny Holiday Stories

Holiday Happiness: Funny Holiday Stories

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

Happy Holidays: 2020 Silver Linings

Happy Holidays: 2020 Silver Linings

Silver Linings for 2020

Happiness Podcasts

Happy Holidays: Happiness Podcasts

Holiday Happiness: Holiday Mood Improvement Resources

Holiday Happiness: Holiday Mood Improvement Resources

Holiday Happiness: Elf on the Shelf Ideas

Holiday Happiness: Elf on the Shelf Ideas

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

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