Happiness in Times of Madness

Posted on June 23, 2025 by Michael Kane

When authority is total, so too is the madness of the man who declares it, and the potential for abuse of power. ~ Rick Wilson

Happiness is Times of Madness

The world has gone mad in so many ways. We all live with daily stress and some level of madness in our lives, but right now, things outside our individual control seem to be ramping up at an extraordinary level. A lot of people will tell you to ignore it, shut off the news, shut off your social media and stick your head in the sand. I am not one of those people.

I’m someone who truly believes that knowledge is power and so to deny yourself an understanding of what is going on in the world around you seems quite ridiculous to me. But of course, as with all things, moderation is the key. So staying informed is one thing and advisable, but doom scrolling social media for hours at a time is not advisable at all.

So when things go insane what should you do? Tonight I’ll give you my take on how to remain happy during this shambling apocalypse we’re dancing through. First of all, stay informed, know what’s happening and legitimately how it might impact you. Second, always be reasonably prepared, if, like me, you live in earthquake country, have an earthquake kit. Know how to do the basic things around your home, turn off the breakers, the gas, the water. Always have some idea, if something goes wrong, what your options might be. Once you’ve done that, don’t obsess about things, know you’ve done what you can do and move on with your life.

Then, do all of the things we have talked about on this block for the last fifteen years. Enjoy your friends and your family, practice self-care, find times to enjoy the simple things in life like nature and finally have some fun. It’s important, particularly if you’re a parent, that you keep yourself as calm and happy as possible. Your children, your pets and others will intuit the energy you’re putting out, if you’re nervous and anxious you’ll feed that into them.

It’s always important to remember to control what you can, be aware but not overly worried about what you can’t, and finally find ways to de-stress and make yourself happy, happy days are the best we can hope for my friends, and it’s up to us to make them ourselves. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rev Kane’s Wild Ride: Normalish

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Michael Kane

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. ~ H L Mencken

Rev Kane’s Wild Ride: Normalish

It’s been 6 full weeks since my surgery, which is the half-way point between surgery and returning to my god awful job. I really targeted 8 weeks after surgery as a major milestone for a couple of reasons. First, it was when my doctor said I could travel, and second the first stage of healing for your breast bone is 6-8 weeks. Think of this as the point they would cut the cast off of a broken arm. Your arm isn’t fully healed but the bone is knit back together and you can gradually begin to use your arm nearly normal or as I prefer, normalish.

The 8 week mark is when I’ll feel comfortable making some changes, sleeping a little less, head up, expanding my mobility and stretching. I can’t do any resistance work until after 12 weeks and it will be 4 – 6 months before my chest will be back to what I’ll feel comfortable calling normal. I’ll get a lot more details on this when I start my cardiovascular rehab class and program in July.

But here in week 6 we’ve entered the dangerous land of normalish. Meaning that I feel really good and at times feel completely normal. At other moments I am reminded my chest was recently sliced open and then cracked open like a lobster, mmm lobster, I really need to get some lobster soon. For instance, I woke up to go to the bathroom the other night and normally got up out of bed. As soon as I stood up I thought, “shit, I’m not supposed to do that.” I had used my arms, just slightly to get up.

So, I’m doing a few things to remind myself I’m not back to normal yet. As you can see in the picture, I still have my hospital bracelet on, it’s just a subtle way to remind myself I’m not that far out from surgery. It’s easy to remember in the bathroom or shower or any other time I’m parading around topless (you’re welcome for the visual), as there’s this very noticeable scalpel line that runs down the center of my chest. They’ve done a great job with the wound, to the point that it looks like I’ve been freshly cut and just haven’t started to bleed yet. Without the blood it kind of looks like what you’d see if you sliced an android’s skin and that absolutely fucks with my mind a bit.

My days have gotten much more normal, there are far fewer people visiting, by design. I will say again I’ve been humbled by the help and support people have provided. Although it’s interesting, not a single one of my bosses has reached out to see how I’m doing. But this week I did a magazine interview on Monday and coordinated some others to be part of the piece. Tuesday a friend came over and helped me get the tiny patio garden back into shape.

On Wednesday I had an appointment to get equipment to do a sleep study, today I had to return the equipment and had an diabetic retinopathy exam. Then I treated myself to a Jersey Mike’s sub and some chips, they’re the only chain that does a decent approximation of an east coast Italian sub. Tomorrow I have a home nursing appointment and have to pick up packages at the package locker and basically every time I’m out I do a little grocery shopping. It’s been a busy week, I’ve even started looking at job opportunities and am exploring a couple of positions. On top of things I continue to increase my walks, today I did my first continuous two mile walk, about a third of it uphill, I do a little over three miles a day, but I’m closing in on four miles.

In terms of the vitals that I record each day things have been generally good, the only thing I’m not thrilled with is that my resting heart rate has remained high, this is neither unusual or unexpected but it bugs me. It was quite high for a week, over 100, but happily over the last five days has been trending downward and this morning was 91. If I can get that back into the 80 beat per minute range, I’ll be really happy.

So it’s easy right now to forget things aren’t normal, at least until I drop something on the floor. My great fear is dropping my car keys while I’m out and having to stand around like a dope until someone walks by who I can ask for help, so far that hasn’t happened. When I go for my walks I carry a cane, I don’t really use it, but it signals to people that there’s an issue and to give me some space, because without the cane, I look exactly as I did pre-surgery just with a more raggedy beard and a lot less stressed.

So, 6 weeks out, 6 weeks of easing back into semi-normality and work to go. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness, Rev Kane's Wild Ride | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Fear and Happiness

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Michael Kane
fear, happiness

Fear and Happiness

Fear is an ever constant cloak that we all wear, all the time. Sure, most of the time we tamp it down under our conscious mind. We fill our lives with activity and busyness so that we never have to think about it. But it is always there with us, usually under the surface and driving many of the decisions we make in life. Our fear prevents us from acting, from taking chances and mostly fear prevents us from change, there is a lot of fear in the uncertainty of change.

One of the things that I’m dealing with now as I go through my recovery is that my life is a lot smaller than normal. I’m not working so the space taken up by the mental exhaustion and stress of my job are not there right now. I’m limited on what I can do and with a still broken sternum I can’t exactly extend myself too much at this point. So as my world shrinks, as I start get back to more a solitary day to day existence, my mind gets quiet enough to hear the fear that’s always whispering to us.

People who know me, would likely not consider me a fearful person, in fact a large number of them would probably describe me as relatively fearless. And that’s the key point of tonight’s post, we all have fear, but what’s important is how you address the fear, and what you do with it.

Fear is a liar

Fear is absolutely a liar. Let’s get real and deal with the core fear we all live with constantly and run from as much as we possibly can. We’re all going to die. That idea, that fear, terrifies all of us and there’s a reason we run from thinking about it, because if we think about it all of the time we’d likely go mad. So we bury that fear until it dances up in the quiet of the night, just as your about to fall asleep, or when you’re alone watching a movie, then we get swept in terror and fear. We all have this, it is what both makes life completely pointless and poignant. The real question is, what do you do with that fear? For me, I’ve taken it to heart and used it to motivate and drive me. If I only have one life, and it’s finite, then damn it I’m gonna grab every part of this existence I can get my hands on. I’m going to eat all the foods, go to all of the places and try nearly every damn experience I can with a reasonable level of safety and to be honest, occasionally, sometimes when it’s not all that damn safe if the experience might be worth it.

But I have all of the millions of fears we all have. Hell right now I’m swimming in them. Any bone click in my chest and I’m convinced my sternum is not healing correctly, my heart rate is higher than I like right now so I’m sure it’s a problem, wake up sweating, well it’s obviously night sweats a symptom of afib. A hundred times a day something happens that I wonder is this connected to my surgery, is my heart ok? But logic and information are beautiful things. Taking a deep breath, thinking things through, reading up on my conditions, talking to my doctors are all ways to alleviate these fears. It’s when you don’t address your fears with these tools that you allow your brain to runaway with things and that’s when anxiety takes over and wins.

So my advice tonight is to not hide from your fears. Address them, find ways to use them to motivate you, defeat them with education, logic and information. Find ways to take your fears and have them drive your happiness. For me, my fear of death has driven me to travel, take chances, have experiences and to make sure I tell people what they mean to me. It’s what pushes me to do random nice things for people, to pay a compliment someone doesn’t expect. We’re guaranteed nothing, so make the most of everyday as best you can. As someone who just went through open heart surgery, who now is on the clock for how long his replacement valve will last, this drive is even more intense for me. Which is part of what is driving me a tad bit crazy right now, I have things to do, places to go, changes to make, but for the moment I’m harnessed and need to take it easy until I’m healed. We all have these things from time to time, but if you don’t, or you can find a way to move forward in spite of them, then let your fears drive you instead of paralyze you and you’ll have happier days my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Happy Father’s Day

Posted on June 15, 2025 by Michael Kane
happiness family
My maternal grandfather looking quite dapper with my mother

It’s a wise father who knows his child. ~ William Shakespeare (Merchant of Venice)

Happy Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there, both conventional and non-conventional. Every year I wish my mother a happy Father’s Day. If you do both jobs, you should get both holidays. I’m happy to say that I know a lot of great dads. I have a number of friends who have done a great job raising their kids. Hell a couple of them have even done it through divorce, co-parenting is not an easy gig but I know a few of them really pulling it off. My brother I’m happy to say is also a great dad, more proud of him than I can express for that. One of the best dad’s I know is my friend Rikki, she’s raised an amazing kid, just graduating from high school, and like my mom, very much did both jobs.

So happy Father’s Day to all the dads, take a moment to congratulate yourself and have a happy day. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in Holiday Happiness | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rev Kane’s Wild Ride: 30 Days Past Surgery

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Michael Kane

Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it’s how we behave while we’re waiting. ~ Joyce Meyer

Rev Kane’s Wild Ride: 30 Days Past Surgery

Yesterday was one month since my surgery, this is the fifth day of the fifth week of my recovery. It seems like there’s always one small issue or another, and this week I’ve been dealing with a pulled muscle in my neck. I pulled it, then when I massaged it out I think I hurt it even worse. So my neck is sore as shit and there’s even some swelling. If the swelling doesn’t subside in a couple of days I’ll be getting an ultrasound, but tonight finally it feels like it’s starting to improve.

I’m officially cleared to drive but my apartment complex is painting the outside of our building and parking structure. They were supposed to do it three weeks ago, but par for the course in corporate apartment living. Hopefully this week sees my first driving, the return of the patio garden and my neck gets better. It will go a long way to starting to feel more normal.

I’ve truly been blessed with people helping me out over the first month since I’ve been home. They’ve honestly been great and I know I’ve said it before, but I’m humbled and honored by the help.

Overall I’m doing well, I’m eating ok, and am up to walking three miles a day. The combination of fewer calories and the walking has led to me dropping some weight since I’ve come home. I’m actually about seven pounds less than I was the day of my surgery and about two pounds under where I’d been for some time.

The tough part now is just being patient, something I’m oddly both terrible and amazing at, depending on the reason. I’ve got a good solid daily routine going and I’m starting to get the itch to write a bit, I’ve finally also started reading again. So, one month down, two to go!

Have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness, Rev Kane's Wild Ride | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

D-Day: Always Remember

Posted on June 6, 2025 by Michael Kane

So much of the progress that would define the 20th century, on both sides of the Atlantic, came down to the battle for a slice of beach only six miles long and two miles wide. ~ Barack Obama

D-Day: Always Remember

The anniversary of D-Day always makes me pause and think about my grandfathers. On that day in 1944 my mother’s and father’s families had never had any contact. On that day, my two grandfathers would end up passing within ten feet of each other.

happiness family
My POW and I in 1966

The pictures above show Grandpa Kane on the left and Grandpa Cordato “POW” on the right. These two men were incredibly important in my life. POW would die when I was only five years old, but as a toddler I was attached to his hip, I idolized him, followed him around, spent a lot of hours with him and he was thrilled about it. My granny would tell me many times growing up, that I was the only baby whose diapers he ever changed. The picture shows us doing shots of beer together. He would fill up his mug with beer and fill a shot glass for me with milk. We’d drink our shots, slam down the glasses and I would yell, “more beer POW.” I have tons of memories of being with him, but not a single memory of his death or funeral although I was there, my brain has apparently buried that pain.

My paternal grandfather, Grandpa Kane was a hard man. Wasn’t the greatest parent but mellowed with age and became a great grandfather. He taught me to plant roses and tomatoes, walked with me in the woods, told me stories about the Indians in the woods (they didn’t exist), gave me my one and only taste of chewing tobacco that I never touched again, gave me my first outdoors book with swearing in it and would go deer hunting with me. But more than anything else we would talk and tell stories for hours. He led an amazing life.

We often here the sentiment expressed on the D-Day anniversary about the brave 19 year-olds who stormed that beach, but that’s not the whole story. The draft missed my grandpa first time around, by time they got to him, he was 33 and had four children. They didn’t care, his first beach head was on D-Day, he was 34 years-old. He only ever told me the story of that day once and suffice it to say, if you saw the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan, you’ve pretty much got it. He cut off his pack, flipped over the side of the landing boat, stormed the beach, made it to the rocks, climbed them, lobbed grenades into the bunkers on top. The fact he survived is utterly amazing to me, he was a complete badass.

After the battle had wrapped up, my other grandfather, who was out on the ships off shore with the first army’s armor came rolling to shore. Grandpa Kane was directing traffic at the first intersection, so almost certainly POW rolled right by him in that intersection. An amazing little nexus point in my life, twenty years before I was born.

So today I think about both of them, and honor them with food. I’ll eat a homegrown tomato for Grandpa Kane and I’ll make a buster burger for POW. POW loved mixing ground sausage and hamburger and topping it with tomato sauce. So dinner is set for tonight. What those men did on that day and for the whole of that war forever changed the world and all of our lives, we can never forget their sacrifices and bravery. Have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in Holiday Happiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I haven’t worn pants in weeks!

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Michael Kane

Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life. ~ Marilu Henner

I haven’t worn pants in weeks!

First a sidebar, tonight’s quote is from an incredibly interesting person. Most of you probably remember her as the red-head from the TV show Taxi. But she’s also a real life Sheldon Cooper, by that I mean she’s one of the very rare people with an actual eidetic memory. Must of made memorizing lines easy, but she’s a talented actress, beautiful incredibly smart and possesses this memory gift.

Back to our regularly scheduled program. For a guy who is not vain, I had a little vanity streak run through me a couple of years ago, but I’m passed it now, this experience has been interesting. I really don’t care what I look like. Tomorrow will be four weeks since my surgery, since before the surgery, I’ve not shaved, my beard or my head. I currently have the hair style of every Eastern European prisoner in Nazi death camp movies, but I’m much fatter. Not that I’ve put on weight, in fact, the stress of the surgery led me to put on about seven pounds, I was right around 187 before that and as of today I’m at 188. So for the most part, I’ve lost my pre-surgery stress eating weight.

On the walk I’ve just returned from, I was quite a sight, tiny colorful socks, grey hush puppy looking slip on shoes, gym shorts, gleaming white legs that could save ships in a storm, a black cotton shirt over a tie-dye shirt, topped with my psycho bunny hat, accompanied by lovely oak cane, stained cherry. But it doesn’t matter, the fact is modesty went out the door on surgery day one.

For a week I walked around in the hospital in that damn gown with my ass hanging out for all to see. When Gina, one of the patient care staff, came to assist me with my first shower she brought me “modesty” underwear. Gina was easily in her late 40’s or early 50’s, so I asked her, “how long have you been doing this?” She said 18 years, I looked at her, “is there anything you haven’t seen?” She shook her head no as she laughed and I dropped the gown right there and walked into the shower. She also came in and washed my back, that’s the most action I’ve had in years, she was incredibly nice.

I have no idea what I’m going to do with my hair and beard. Semi-bald afro, old hippy pony-tail, back to bald? As for the beard currently it’s a angry, old sea captain kind of style, maybe I’ll trim it back, maybe I’ll go full Gandalf as my nephew suggested. Hell, I’m still wearing my hospital ID bracelet. And seriously, I haven’t worn pants since before the surgery.

The thing I’m really not wearing right now is stress. I heard some extreme bullshit from work today and laughed it off. While I’m recovering and nervous about my heart-rate, blood pressure, blood thinners, all of it is at least working ok, if not well, my doctors aren’t nervous, so I’m pretty damn relaxed. Just more to convince me never to return to the toxic stress hellhole that is my old job, at least not for very long, it might be fun to reign hell down on people who drove my replacement nuts for a few weeks before I pull the plug.

Honestly, take your pants off, lose the stress anyway you can, it is literally killing you. So get out from under it and have happier days my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness, Rev Kane's Wild Ride | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rev Kane’s Wild Ride: The Doldrums

Posted on June 2, 2025 by Michael Kane

The two enemies of human happiness are pain and boredom. ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

Rev Kane’s Wild Ride: The Doldrums

Well, we’re quickly coming up on a month since my surgery (4 weeks to be more accurate). I knew the first four weeks were going to be tough because of pain, lack of independence and a need for a lot of help. Happily, things have gone better than expected, I’ve had no major complications, the pain has been far less than expected (I haven’t even had any Tylenol today), people have been incredibly supportive and I’ve had a lot of help from a lot of great people and have been able to be more mobile and independent than expected.

A lot of the literature talks about the mental state after surgery, people often go through some heavy emotions and a lot of folks get depressed. Given my history with depression, this is something I was a bit concerned with during my recovery. I’m happy to say none of that has been an issue so far. One of the things I was concerned about in recovery are the next three weeks. We’re coming up on a weird time, colleagues from work are between semesters and many are leaving for the summer, the heart surgery thing gets old. By that I mean, people thought that how they would need to support me would be to literally walk with me, cook and clean for me, etc… I’ve been mobile enough that really they’ve been mostly conversation and company (which I highly value) with moving some plants and some grocery runs involved. So, it’s not quite the imagined emergency they thought it might be, I look and am doing well so a little motivation falls off. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve still got plenty of help. But at this point, my old friends have all reached out, we’ve had our long conversations and things are about to get a bit quiet.

So for the next few weeks I imagine things will slow down, I’m still not back to normal and I expect things to get a bit boring over the next few weeks, we’ll see how it goes. My hope is that as I continue to feel more normal, my interest in reading and writing will come back stronger and that will be what gets me through the next couple of weeks. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness, Rev Kane's Wild Ride | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Happy Day

Posted on May 29, 2025 by Michael Kane

Remember this, folks – I am a Hillbilly, and I don’t always Bet the same way I talk. Good advice is one thing, but smart gambling is quite another. ~ Hunter S Thompson

A Happy Day

It’s been a really good day. Today I had the final appointment with my surgical team and they were very happy with my progress. They gave me some interesting and some good news. My sternum is double wired together with steel wire, and they said that while I’ll possibly set off airport metal detectors, I can still have an MRI, but I need to research that last bit some more. They approved my walking plan and how I hope to continue to expand that as well as telling me I can lift up to ten pounds. Finally, they confirmed that after next week I can drive. So think about this, after this week I can drive and lift 10 pounds, except for Chicago deep dish, there are no ten pound pizzas!

Secondly I got a big surprise today. I have a really wonderful business teacher who teaches business statistics, a class that these students really don’t want to take and she does a great job of making the class interesting and engaging for them. One unit she does is on the probabilities of gambling in which among other things she discusses roulette and craps. The first time I heard this lecture I pulled her aside and mentioned that her craps discussion was rather rudimentary and could be a lot more interesting. So she said great, next time come in and you can do the craps part. This has grown into, if I’m available, me coming in and doing the gambling lecture and teaching the students how to play craps. It’s a lot of fun, has a legitimate basis in probability and so they learn while they are having a good time. We also talk about lottery odds and what those really mean.

So today my assistant stopped by and said a student brought me a gift, the dice you see above. After reading the card I realized it was a student I’d encountered in a couple of different business classes and who is very nice and I’ve had some really good discussions with, she also dug the craps lesson, hence the dice. Her words were incredibly kind and really made my day, hope you had a happy day as well my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Happy Time of Year

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Michael Kane

Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. ~ Garry Trudeau

A Happy Time of Year

This is one of my favorite times of the year. After nearly forty years in higher education graduation is really special to me. First, if you know about all the madness that happens behind the scenes, it’s a damn miracle anyone ever graduates. So I call it the miracle of graduation. It is both for the students, faculty, staff and administrators the culmination of the student’s journey, or at least this stage. I am incredibly proud of every student that walks across the stage every year.

Due to my surgery I missed graduation this year, but have been happy to have reports, see photos etc… of the ceremony and of students celebrating their achievement. It’s not just their achievement though, like any achievement, almost no one does it truly alone, it truly takes a family, a village a community for people to get to this point.

One of the things I remind my staff, that is true at any level, but especially true at the community college level is that we don’t just change lives, we change the trajectory of families. For community college students, so many are first generation college students. So many are overcoming a wide-array of barriers from finances, to family responsibilities and at times even homelessness and food insecurity. At our college we have programs to support first generation students, historically under represented students, veterans who often have PTSD and other issues, former foster care students and even formally incarcerated students. In community college we truly change people’s lives and by extension the path of their families and often for people who at some point, so no future.

Watching mommy or daddy get a degree will make a kid want to be educated. Being able to get a degree or certificate that leads to a good job can change the trajectory of generations. And nothing beats the feeling of confidence from achieving these things.

My nephew Mikey is graduating this year, massively proud of this kid. I congratulate and wish all students who are making the next step good luck. Now more than ever, we need a more educated populace. Have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment