Some quotes to help you have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane
Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony. ~ Thomas Merton
Tonight a little twirl around the web to find you all some resources on one of my favorite subjects, balance. One of the things that I frequently see people do is lose balance in their life. This typically comes in the form of working too much, or at least losing the understanding that work is not your whole life, that other things are more important than work. Is this you? Well if you think you can’t take a vacation, or when you are home or on vacation if you can’t unplug from work you may fall into this category. It’s not easy the first you truly unplug on vacation or at home, but unless you’re a medical professional or someone similar no one dies if you don’t answer the phone, but remember my friends you only get one shot at life, one shot to hang with your kids at the age they are at right now, so wind down, unplug and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane
From our friends at Zen Habits, 5 Essential Zen Habits for Balanced Living
From the folks at life hack, 10 Simple Ways to find Balance in Life
A nice piece from Whole Living, How to find Balance
Finally a TED talk, How to make life-work balance
Patience is not just the ability to wait, it’s how we behave while we’re waiting. ~ Joyce Meyer
So a few weeks ago I wrote a post about some decisions I was trying to make related to my current job search. This time around is a little bit different for me. Normally, as my regular readers know, I typically work three or four years and take off to travel for a time before returning to work. However this time around, there’s an interesting convergence shaping up. You see, I need twenty years in the retirement system to get the retirement I want, and I need to be at least sixty to collect it. I turn sixty in six years and if I work the next six years I will hit twenty years of service at the exact same time. So this time around I’m looking at staying in a position for six years. I’m always fairly careful about my job selections, but this time I need to be extra special careful and there are some things I need to get out of this trip.
I do need this time to make sure I hit salary goals that will set my retirement at the right level, effectively I’ll get 50% of the my next to last year’s salary when I retire. So I need to make sure wherever I start on the next salary schedule, that by year five I’m at a level I want to be at for my retirement. I also need to be in a job that will be able to give me enough of a sense of accomplishment that I can happily stay in the position for six years.
So I’ve started the application and interview process, I’m happy to say that I’ve been offered interviews for four out of the five positions I’ve applied to so far and the fifth one, is the one I’m most sure I’ll get an interview for. There’s a sixth position that doesn’t close until the end of this week and I’m confident I’ll at least get a first round interview for that position as well. So things are going really well at this point.
I’ve done a first, second and third interview for one position, and it’s a position I liked of course, that’s why I applied, and it is a position that has seriously grown on me through the interview process. I think I have a shot at getting an offer and it’s something I will seriously consider. Here’s the wrinkle, I also have interviews for two positions, one is the position I’m most interested in, that will pay significantly more. So I may soon have a Cornish game hen in hand, with a turkey in the bush and I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.
Fear is killing your happiness
It’s funny when I started this process again I was initially a little gun-shy. My brother had just been through a horrible job search process. And as I started mine, and as things always take longer than you expect my self-confidence started to wane a bit. It’s nice now, to have had interviews and have interviews coming up to start feeling that the self-confidence I normally carry in relation to my work is being validated. Who knows how all of this will work out, it will be interesting if I decide to pass on an offer. As a blue-collar kid, I’ve never passed on a full-time professional job offer, and it will be interesting to see if I’m willing or able if I’m in that position given it will be for the highest salary I’ve ever earned.
My friends what I want you to take out of this, is that first of all, fear is a liar. We all spend time afraid of things that we shouldn’t. It’s important to believe in yourself, to have confidence and to take risks. Never sell yourself short, and sure, you may fall down once in a while, but you won’t die from a miss or a little failure. And once you reach a little further than you think you are able, and succeed, well it will make for a very happy day my friends, so take the leap. ~ Rev Kane
George Carlin on stuff
George Carlin on worrying and arrogance
George Carlin on Airport Security
George Carlin on traffic and driving
Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. ~ Carol Burnett
The end is near, the end of 2017 that is. All endings bring new beginnings. That is the one thing I like about this time of year. It is an excellent time to take stock of where your life is, get a little perspective and plan for what’s coming. Of course it is also important to celebrate your successes and lessons from the previous year, we’ve all had both.
So for me over the last year there were absolutely successes. I published my first book, Appalachian Trail Happiness. Not only was it a short-term goal related to my time off but it had been on my bucket list for a very long time. Along the lines of my goals on this front I also did my first keynote for a statewide conference this year and am currently in talks to do another in March. I’ve come really far in rehabbing my knee this year, working out 5 nights a week most weeks this year and recently have upped it to six. I did a really great hike to Havasupai Falls, it was a good test of my knee with a full pack and my knee performed really well.
Havasupai Falls
I moved, both a lesson and a success, I relearned how little space I need and in turn the move is saving me over $500 a month. This has also motivated me to work on minimizing my possessions, over the last year I’ve liberated myself from about 25% of my possessions and I’m hoping this year to liberate at least 25% more. When I head out for my next adventure I’m really hoping to have very little in storage. One of my learning experiences this year has been that I realize I’m way more attached to the art I own than anything else.
My favorite DOTD painting by my favorite artist Heather Calderon
I’ve learned a massive lesson this year, or more honestly I’ve finally admitted and accepted something I’ve known for a long time. But isn’t that the way it always is, it has been that way for me. I learn, I deny and it’s only when I finally come to acceptance that I truly move forward. The deeper I’m invested in my belief, the longer and the harder the denial. This one has been a doozy! But I’ve arrived, the lesson is an old one, don’t invest significantly more in another person than they are willing to invest in you. There’s a great quote that sums it up and is my big lesson for 2017.
My 2017 lesson
So my friends, take some time at this point in the year to take stock, evaluate and plan for what’s next and have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane
Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. ~ Kurt Vonnegut
So the other day at the office I was having one of those days. You know, the kind of day where you finally get to your morning to do list at about 4:30 in the afternoon. The day starts innocently enough, then fire after fire erupts that you have to put out. You had a project to work on, but 2 others suddenly take precedence. Of course there is data/information that you need, if only that person would just email you back you could actually get something done. By the third email, well you feel like this.
And of course it’s Monday.
So how do you keep it together, retain some semblance of your happiness on a day like this, you go back to the basics. First, remember to breathe, literally, take some breaks throughout the day for a couple of minutes to just do some deep breathing. It will calm you down, clear your head and loosen up those shoulders for a couple of minutes.
Remember to move, find ways to get up out of your chair and walk around. We all know that sitting down all day is killing us. But on a tense and stressful day it’s doing it a little bit faster, we have to work, our jobs are in an office but we’re not chained to the chairs. So move, get your circulation flowing, instead of calling the office 50 feet away, take a quick walk and have a conversation. In addition to the benefits of walking, some face to face human contact will do you good.
Take a break, not just to do some deep breathing, or walk down the hall but an actual break. Too many of us hunker down, eat at our desk and work like prisoners in a cell. Even if it’s only for 15 or 20 minutes, get out of the office, go for a walk or a drive. Go sit on a bench and stare at clouds. Taking a break has even bigger benefits long-term for both you and your employer.
Finally, find a way to laugh, a favorite video clip or some reading material to get you to crack a mile. Getting back to basics can actually help you have a happier day my friends ~ Rev Kane
Accidental Happiness: Chinese Lantern Festival
The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls ~ Pablo Picasso
Off on a business trip and stopped in Spokane, WA to see a friend and it turns out will get to see two, so an auspicious day to start with. One of my friends says to me you should go check out the Chinese Lantern Festival down on the river after dark. She made a great call on that one and below are a set of pictures that show just how right she was. The festival was beautiful and a little bizarre, the river walk was quite nice.
But what the heck does this have to do with living a happier life? The answer is a very simple little suggestion on how to be happier and that is to be open. For a second after my friends suggestion I was heading towards blowing it off, we get these types of suggestions all of the time. But tonight, I decided to say yes, to be open to trying something out. Sure, it’s not like I climbed a mountain or anything but the concept is the same. Be open, be available, be willing to say yes when you might ordinarily say no, it might lead to something wonderful, like a Chinese Lantern Festival. Enjoy the photos and have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane
Warning the next image you see will be poop, spoiler, it’s kind of blue-green.
Wow, recently my life has changed in oh so many ways! As I have chronicled here recently I cut short an extended road trip to come back to NY to help out family as my mother has been very ill. Up until that point I was a rubber tramping, gypsy hiker training for an Appalachian Trail thru-hike.
Now, well, now I’m basically a home health aide living in my sisters back room and having to take photos of poop. You see, my little niece Rooney is potty training and she was successful this evening, you’ll see her little trophy below. However Uncle Mike needed to pee, but daddy wasn’t home yet and the little trophy couldn’t be disturbed. Unfortunately, my bladder was going to explode and it’s really, really cold outside, so I needed a plan. Fortunately, cell phones have cameras so I was able to photo and text the image to her dad and with her approval flush her little trophy away. Here’s the accomplishment, I thumbnailed it, but for whatever reason you feel you need to see it in all of it’s glory, you know potty training nostalgia, whatever, just click on the picture for the full-size and glorious technicolor image.
Yes, I said technicolor, it’s blue or blue-green or some other unnatural color for a bowl movement, who poops blue? I asked her if she was an alien, she said yes, I’m going with that.
May you have a healthy bowel movement and a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane
Tonight another recommendation from our friend Hosho McCreesh, tonight we feather Chris Cunningham – read, enjoy, have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane
When did you know you hated him?
Was it the cape? the tight red undies?
the way that Lois said your name
or the smell of urine and cigarettes
in phone booths? Was it he who insisted
on glasses and hair oil? he who suggested
the awkward bumble of your gait,
the pratfalls, the befuddled, stumbling
stutter? Of course, the newspaper bit
was his idea: he wanted you
to hear about him, read about
him, see his picture. Although
he must have known you’d never write
a big story. How could you? He—
the man that you could never meet—
would always be the only story.
When did you suspect that he
preferred it that way? Still, he worries,
nervous that someone will notice
your mutual exclusivity,
your perfect anti-coincidence,
coaches you on explanations
inane and implausible,
and yet you know these lame evasions
are unnecessary—know
why no one ever puts the zero
and one together, because you know
no one ever notices
that you’re not there. At night, while he’s
out flying through Metropolis,
you lie in bed and try to convince
yourself of the invisible
heroism of your silence,
retelling to the darkness all
the secret things you can’t have done.
And when did you begin to tell
this new kind of secret? After he
has gone to sleep, you whisper it
into your pillow, quietly,
so soft your lips don’t move, your thought
dissolving just before it takes
the shape of words. But there, shut tight
in the lead-lined safety of your soul,
the one he doesn’t know you have,
you tell the dark, ironic tale
of how the man of stainless steel,
the speeding-bullet, leaping-buildings
man will finally fulfill
the fate his parents saved him from,
fulfill the end you dream for him.
***************************************
A pear, yellow-skinned,
bruised, sits in a shallow pool
of its own syrup,
its blunt-ends flattening,
slowly splattering in bone
china (a pattern
of pallid purple
lilacs blooms unendingly
around an edge kissed
with gold), resting, if
not yet at rest, at the end
of a long, winding
fall from a tree whose
white blossoms once shuddered and
danced in the cold rain.
*******************************************
I.
Their knees are touching, but he’s across
the room with his friend the barkeep.
He’s flirting with the waitress.
He’s at home asleep, on the street,
under a woman, he’s in a different bar,
or the same one the next night,
or the night before. We don’t know
where he is. Their knees are touching.
He’s her brother and their mother has died.
He’s her lover, and he’s leaving her.
He’s her husband, their baby has died.
He’s the man sitting next to her,
whose knee her knee is touching,
and she doesn’t know he’s there.
II.
Her hands trail off into wispy gestures
of brushstroke, as if she doesn’t exist
at the ends of herself, less real
than the froth of bows on her shoes
or the yellow absinthe in the goblet
before her, its lips rimmed with light.
Dark bangs hang down
to thick eyelids, hanging heavy
over heavy eyes gazing at a spot
on the floor. She’s thinking about
her mother or her brother or the bread
she will buy and eat with cheese
and red wine for dinner. She’s thinking
about the pattern of the tiles on the floor
and the slow blur of her days.
She’s thinking about the darkness
of the city at night and the coarse ricochet
of voices in the street outside
her window when she can’t sleep.
But she’s not thinking about her hands,
which sometimes don’t exist.
III.
Lips, painted and straight, chin
withdrawing into neckflesh. Slouched
with shoulders slack and round,
arms hanging to lose themselves
under the table, the right knee
swung wide, foot tipped on its side.
When they see her in London
and hang her on the walls of the gallery,
she ignores them, looks right past them
at the same spot on the floor,
and they call it absinthe, The Absinthe,
a moral as pretty as the bow
on her hat, filling her empty eyes
with the potable emptiness of wormwood.
IV.
Later, when the artist leaves
with his paper and ink, she looks
down into the cloudy drink sitting
untouched on the table before her,
and she smells anise. And then
she drinks it, sweet and yellow
and sharp, the glass cold
and reassuringly solid in the hand
she discovers at the end of her sleeve.
Your success and happiness lies within you. Resolve to keep happy and your joy and you will shall form and invincible host against difficulties. ~ Helen Keller
We are all, well most of us, at some level addicted to a form or two of social media. Many of us check our Facebook page more times than we would like to admit each day. The innovation of smartphones, this wonderful device that connects us to nearly the entirety of all knowledge, has also turned into a form of an electronic leash. Smartphones are wonderful, in addition to being a link to the web and all that means, it also has the opportunity to make us more effective and efficient humans. Sitting in waiting rooms, waiting on people, sitting in a taxi or on a train is now time that we can use to conduct business, return correspondence, make appointments, etc… However, many of us utilize this time frivolously, checking on what are friends are doing, reading celebrity gossip, getting sucked into the news cycle. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for downtime and relaxation and keeping up on friends and relatives, that’s been a wonderful of benefit of social media. But honestly, that feels like a small part of what we do, myself included.
People are cognizant of their own image and because others are viewing us, most of us make an effort to put our best foot forward on our social media accounts. We get a good feeling when we get likes and comments, so we focus our posts on the cool things in our lives. There is an interesting piece I read recently on the effect of social media and how it can increase envy, comparison, anxiety and depression. I really like this quote from the article.
Through social media we have a continual window into the lives of friends, pseudo-friends, and celebrities. And what we see is not some unvarnished peek into their world but a highly idealized image that they present. We see only the most exciting images from their vacations, the happy faces of their friends, and children, accounts of their continual self-improvement, the fascinating people they are meeting, the great causes and projects they are involved in, the example of success in their endeavors. — Robert Greene, The Laws of Human Nature
The article is a great read and it describes how we naturally compare ourselves to the people we follow on social media. It talks about how this can fuel envy and especially how we often compare ourselves to the posts that we see. Not thinking about the fact that we are only seeing the glossy, photoshopped version of other people’s lives, we compare that to the reality of our own lives, warts and all and we feel bad.
In addition to the envy created by watching others on social media, there is another thing that really impacts our happiness. In an ever polarized political world, social media is the place where we are constantly exposed to political ramblings, arguments, and lots of information that causes us anxiety. Particularly when we get into one-on-one arguments over political issues, our happiness takes a hit. And it’s nearly impossible to avoid all of the political memes, statements and rants that are out there. We’re all guilty of it one way or the other, particularly because posts about happiness and good news, get far less interaction and likes than the political stuff. This tells the algorithms used by the platforms to prioritize those posts more, it’s a vicious cycle that we are complicit in encouraging with our choices.
There are very few times when our happiness is not under our control. As I just mentioned, our interactive choices on social media impact what types of posts get prioritized and shown to us. So, the more you like, comment on and share things like the Ministry of Happiness posts, or good news items, the more those things will show in your news feed or on whatever platform you’re using.
Also, controlling your time on social media can help. Even though it’s become a habit for most of us, instead of checking our phones constantly, pick certain times to review Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and others. Or, like some people, you can take the big leap and delete the apps off of your phones and only access social media at set times on your laptop or desktop computer.
Finally, and this will be no surprise to longtime readers, read a book or some poetry, get outside, take a hike, go to the gym and during those times keep your phone off. We need these breaks from social media and especially if you can do that by going outside you’ll have happier days my friends. ~ Rev Kane
The Ministry of Happiness 