The Ministry of Happiness

What makes you happy?

Posted on April 28, 2018 by Michael Kane

What makes you happy?

Only one thing has to change for us to know happiness in our lives: where we focus our attention~Greg Anderson

We talk a lot about the elements of overall happiness here but sometimes you just want to do something that makes you happy. As easy as that sounds often we default back to laying around, a movie or eating food that we like but isn’t all that good for us. Most of this things provide a momentary bit of happiness but leave us feeling a little less happy in the end. So we should do something that makes us happy that truly increases our overall happiness. So as easy that should be, how do you determine what makes you happy?

Here’s a good piece from a wiki on determining What makes you happy? I think the questions are really good especially the ideas about paying attention to what raises your level of energy and what activities help you lose track of time. Currently I’ve been engaged in one of the activities that does this for me, gardening, harvesting and canning what I produce from my garden. This weekend I’ll be canning salsa, freezing and making pasta sauce and finally making a little pumpkin – bacon soup. Really excited to make this in the morning and thought I’d share the recipe with all of you so that you can make a little pumpkin soup for yourself and truly have a delicious and happy day. ~ Rev Kane

Pumpkin Soup with Bacon
makes about 8 cups

1/2 pound of bacon
1 yellow onion, chopped
1 clove of garlic, minced
3 # of squash or pumpkin flesh, seeded, peeled and cubed
5 C of water
salt and freshly ground pepper
2 T fresh thyme leaves
2 thick slices good bread, torn into small, rough pieces.

Fry up the bacon in a soup pot. When it’s done, remove the bacon and drain. Pour off one tablespoon of the fat into a medium-sized frying pan, leaving the rest in the pot (unless it seems like too much, in which case you can spoon off some more and save it for another use.) You should have enough to coat the bottom of the pan.

Fry up the onions in the bacon fat until they are translucent. Add the garlic and cook gently for about 2 minutes or until it is fragrant. Add a few pinches of salt and a few turns of the pepper mill. Add the squash and water, bring to a boil and lower the heat to a simmer. Cook until the squash is very soft, about 20-30 minutes. Puree the soup until very smooth. I recommend using a stick blender. Otherwise do it in batches in the blender, being careful not to splatter the hot soup.

While the soup is simmering, sauté the bread in the bacon fat, crumbling in the reserved bacon until the bread begins to color and crisp. If the mixture seems too dry, add a splash of olive oil. Season with salt, if needed, and pepper.

To serve, ladle the soup into bowls and sprinkle on about 2 tablespoons of the bread/bacon mixture in each bowl. Garnish with the thyme leaves.

Eight Characteristics of Happy People and How to Become One

Posted on April 26, 2018 by Michael Kane

Eight Characteristics of Happy People and How to Become One

So tonight we start with 8 characteristics of happy people as presented by The Happiness Institute. Characteristics are great, but how do you get to have these characteristics, so I’m linking you back to some posts on the Ministry of Happiness where we’ve discussed these. Enjoy, and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Like themselves – no one is perfect (Happiness and being perfect) and (Happiness and acceptance)

Believe they’re in control of their lives – being in control means you can take a Happiness Day when you want or need one.

Are more optimistic – step one stop being so cynical (Happiness and Cynicism)

Tend to more socially outgoing – one way to interact more with the world and be more special is to travel, Happiness & Travel

Have more and better quality relationships – this starts with first selecting who will be in your life (Happiness and Selected Families)

Believe in something greater/bigger than themselves – for me this is my selected family and friends here’s a little taste of why, a story about the Dude.

Feel that their lives are in balance – How to bring your life into balance

Are more curious and creative – Happiness and being child-like

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged balance, creative, extrovert, family, happiness, optimism, selected families, travel | Leave a comment

The Importance of Balance in Losing Weight

Posted on April 25, 2018 by Michael Kane

The Importance of Balance

Balance and Happiness

Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony. ~ Thomas Merton

The Importance of Balance in Losing Weight

We have talked about balance many times on this blog. Normally I’m writing about things like the balance between work and play. Encouraging you all to make sure you find time for yourselves in between of all of your life responsibilities. One of the things balance helps with is reducing stress. When things are in balance you have a tendency to not be so stressed.

Losing Weight

Although I have a pretty thorough understanding of balance and in fact am someone who writes and does talks on life and work balance, even I forget sometimes how important balance can be. Last year I decided to try to lose some weight and I was pretty successful. I dropped about 30 pounds and got down to around 190. Over the last year I put about 10 pounds back on and recently I decided that I’d like to drop another 20 pounds and get down to 180.

How I lost weight

So, I did what I normally do to drop pounds. First, I started eating like I should in the first place given that I’m a borderline diabetic. So, I cut out my more than occasional coke. I control my portion sizes better and really start to be careful about the number of carbs I eat on a daily basis. So basically focusing the majority of my diet on protein (meat, beans and nuts) and vegetables, I eat at least one bowl of salad each day. That’s pretty much the recipe, and I know, you’re wondering where in this is the workout piece? The fact is I work out 4-5 days every week, so in fact my weight really isn’t related to my workout schedule. Sure, if I wasn’t working out, it would be harder to lose and certainly easier to gain weight, but working out is such an integral part of my life now that it’s not really a factor in this process.

So I initiated this process, I was at about 204 the first morning and very quickly started losing weight. My goal was to hit 180 by my birthday at the end of August. That meant I needed to lose about 2 pounds a week over the period of time I had left. I started out really well and quickly got down to about 194. I was feeling pretty good about having dropped the 10 pounds. Well then things kind of stalled for a couple of weeks, that happens and I unfortunately wasn’t patient like I should have been. So I pushed a little bit, mistake, I did some fasting, not for the right reasons, but just to cut calories. It worked a bit, I dropped another couple of pounds but I stalled again Then it happened.

Being an Emotional Eater

I’m most certainly an emotional eater, I could explain the connections back to my childhood and how that developed but my purpose is not to bore you to tears in this post or to make you feel sorry for me. Unfortunately, some things went wrong in my personal life, some shit piled on at work and my mood shifted. I gave myself a small break and let my eating slide a bit, but the stress I was under didn’t let up. So, I continued to slip and eventually just gave in. The crazy thing about weight, as hard as it is to lose, man it comes back fast and within a couple of weeks I’d put most of the weight back on.

My mistake was that I pushed to hard, I allowed things to get out of balance on a number of fronts and things spiraled. I finally got my head right a couple of weeks ago, and I’ve changed my goals, I’m hoping for 180 by the end of the year. That means that I’m back to a much more reasonable pace of about a pound a week. Not easy, but much more manageable than what I’d been doing.

Hopefully focusing on the importance of balance will help me in losing weight the way I want to. More importantly staying balanced in your life helps you be happy. So keep yourself balanced and have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Happiness Resources: Balance

Happiness, Health and Balance

Getting back to Basics to be happy

Happy Anniversary – Ministry of Happiness: Our Best Posts

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged balace, balance, be happy, emotional eating, gaining weight, happiness, losing weight, stress, weight loss | Leave a comment

Think like a millennial

Posted on April 23, 2018 by Michael Kane

Think like a millennial

Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life ~ Dolly Parton

I heard it again at a meeting this week. Something I hear quite frequently, “millennials are concerned with life/work balance.” The thing is, the sentence is always said with slight disdain and I’ve even heard it said even more directly and derisively. It seems to be a statement suggesting that there is something wrong with millennials because they think the idea that they should enjoy life and be happy. That somehow, they are lazy, or weak that something is lacking in them for not wanting to work like a dog but to actually balance their work life with a fulfilling and happy personal life.

Delayed gratification is a fickle mistress

I’m always a little shocked when I hear this, then I remember that in America we have always been concerned with the idea of the American Dream. That dream involves working hard, moving up the corporate ladder, buying a house, getting married, having children and educating them in the same dream, and then someday when you retire taking some time to travel and go fishing. Nothing in the American Dream talks about being happy or keeping balance in our lives. We are supposed to work until retirement and THEN worry about our own happiness. The problem with that plan of course is that many people don’t make it to retirement, many who do are not physically able at that point, to do the things they would like to do. Deferred gratification can be a fickle mistress.

A slower pace of life can make you happy

The first millennial

So it seems that the parents of the millennials, younger baby boomers and older Gen Xers have failed the American Dream and produced a generation that believes that they should both work hard and be happy, perhaps a realization of the ephemeral nature of our lives. And what does our society do, in general we look down on them for this attitude. I don’t, hell I think like they do, which is why lately, although a baby boomer by birth year, I’ve started calling myself the first millennial.

Work life balance

If you have read this blog for some time you know that I’m a big proponent of work life balance. I’ve done keynote talks at conferences about this idea, I try very hard to make it work this way in my life. I personally feel that given the fact that we are guaranteed nothing in this life, that you should try to enjoy every single day. Some of you are blessed, what you do for a living brings you incredible happiness and joy. Unfortunately most of us are not in this position so we have to find ways outside of our working lives to find our happiness.

So keep things in balance my friend and have a happy day. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged baby boomers, balance, balance in life, be happy, happiness, happy, millenial, millenials, work, work life balance | 3 Comments

Make some happiness today

Posted on April 22, 2018 by Michael Kane

Make Some Happiness Today

Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it. ~Fyodor Dostoevsky

Hello my friends, as I’ve documented recently I’ve been having a particularly hard month, the details are absolutely ridiculous and not worth relating. Out of every situation it is always important to learn, to take something other than the emotion out of the situation. In the midst of this month this thought hit home for me pretty hard. It is has not been a happy month, but I’ve been writing for a couple of years now about how to live a happier life, perhaps it was time to put my proverbial money where my mouth has been. So I’ve done some of the things that I’ve been recommended, I keep reminding myself that it is my choice how I feel. Sure, bad things have happened, people have passed away, become ill, and that is sad, but it’s my decision how I respond to all of this. So I’ve been trying to find the silver linings in things, I will not lie it has not always been easy, but at times it has worked.

I’ve accessed the happiness jar I wrote about some months ago and read some of the entries, some of the really good things that happened so far this year, and that helped. I’ve tried to express as much gratitude as I could about the things I have in life. I’ve reached out and talked to friends who have perspective. However the thing that has helped the most this month has been giving to others. It’s a counter intuitive approach, you feel bad so you try to make others feel better, you might think of a parallel, so if I’m broke I should give my money away? But we’re not talking here about a tangible asset but our emotional well-being, emotions and feelings are not subject to the laws physics or capitalism.

So I’ve done some favors for people and it made me feel better. But the one thing that worked the best was an idea I had the other night when I couldn’t sleep. This happens a lot to all of us, we have great ideas, nice things we can do for people, but we don’t often enough act on them, but happily I didn’t let this opportunity go by. So the other night I blasted through my Facebook friend list and sent out about 80 messages to people, the preface of the messages looked like this:

So as many of you are aware I’ve had a pretty lousy month, so in taking some of my own advice from the Ministry of Happiness I’ve decided that one of the best ways to feel better is to make other people feel better. So I’ve decided to write each of my friends on Facebook and pay each of you a compliment.

I don’t want a compliment in return, if the compliment made you feel good made you smile, pay it forward, send one or more of your friends a compliment and make them feel the same way and have a happy day my friend. ~ Michael

I followed this preface in each case with a compliment, something nice I could say about each of the people I wrote to and most importantly asked them to pay it forward. This act made me feel good for a number of reasons. First, there is something positive and uplifting about recognizing the good in people around you. Second, particularly when you do this at scale, you are bound to hit a few people at a particularly ripe time for them to receive this. In these instances your message will be much more timely and precious than you could ever imagine. Finally, asking folks to pay it forward, and some truly will, spreads some of this goodness out into the world and that is a great feeling.

So my friends, if you are reading this today let’s keep this going, even if you received one of my messages, pay another one forward. Find a friend, a loved one, a colleague and with no expectation of return and let them know that, pay a compliment, make them a little bit happier, ask them to pay it forward, make the world a little bit happier and in the end, albeit quite selfish, you’ll make sure you have a happier day my friends and thank you all for your attention and support for the Ministry of Happiness ~ Rev Kane

Happiness and Hypertension (High Blood Pressure)

Posted on April 19, 2018 by Michael Kane

Happiness and Hypertension (High Blood Pressure)

Check your blood pressure

We often busy ourselves in order to forget the poignant and ephemeral nature of our lives. ~ Rev Kane

High Blood Pressure

In some ways, blood pressure is the bane of my existence. I suffer from hypertension and have been on medication now for over 20 years to deal with the condition. It’s a genetic thing for me, my blood pressure is worse now that I’m 190 pounds and in good physical condition than it was when I was a 250 pound couch potato. High blood pressure is a serious condition, they call it the silent killer because very often people have no idea that they have high blood pressure and the condition can lead to heart attacks or strokes. If you have anything else going on, diabetes, high cholesterol or being overweight it magnifies the risks of those conditions. I check a couple of those boxes as well, so it’s a serious deal for me. I’m working on the other boxes, I’ve lost 16 pounds this year, my blood sugar is getting back under control and I eat better, exercise regularly and try to do things to reduce stress.

High Blood Pressure can run in your family

My blood pressure issues are primarily genetic and there is an unfortunate family history on this front. You see my maternal grandfather passed away at 49 when I was 5 years old from acute hypertension. Excessive high blood pressure caused brain damage and likely a stroke. Almost everyone in my family is and has been on blood pressure medication for most of their adult lives. But happily, due to modern medicines, we have all passed our 50th birthdays without suffering the same fate. It’s funny, one of the things I think about, if the apocalypse ever occurs, while people will be looting pharmacies for pain killers and antibiotics, I’ll need to loot for my blood pressure medication.

Defiant and having fun til the end

A health scare

Recently my blood pressure had been increasing because my medication was no longer working for me the way it should. I went in for an elective procedure and my blood pressure spiked and I ended up getting cancelled out of the surgery. Then they sent me to a cardiologist to get cleared for surgery. He ended up getting me some new meds that have gotten my blood pressure back in line. He also ordered an Echocardiagram and thats when a giant rollercoaster of an afternoon happened that I wrote about in last weeks blog post that at one point looked like it might lead to open heart surgery, happily that wasn’t the case, but it illustrates why it’s important to keep these things in line.

Living a full and normal life

The thing is, given the medications available, you can lead a completely normal life with high blood pressure. As you know if you read this blog regularly I workout, I travel (Petra, Havasupai Falls) extensively and go on adventures (Mt. Everest, photographing Polar Bears in Canada) and even hiked a 1000 miles on the Appalachian Trail. I also write poetry as a way to relax. So there really are no limits to what you can do.

Take Care of Yourself

For most people blood pressure can very much be controlled and it comes down to some of the very basic things you might imagine.

Keep your weight under control
Exercise
Watch your salt intake
Don’t smoke
Drink in moderation
Keep normal Vitamin D levels (another way hiking can help

Of course the big thing is to regularly check your blood pressure so that you know where it is, there are lots of charts that can show you what normal levels are for blood pressure. So take care of yourselves my friend and you’ll have many happy days. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged adventure, blood pressure, family, happiness, health, high blood pressure, hypertension, lower your blood pressure, travel, wellness | Leave a comment

Living not just existing

Posted on April 18, 2018 by Michael Kane

Living not just existing

At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want. ~ Lao Tzu

We focus here at the Ministry of Happiness on how to live a happier life. Recently, while talking with a friend we started talking about a person we know who lives a less than wonderful life. The crux of it seems to be that this person is no longer living, they are just existing. As far as I understand life it is a one-way, one-time trip and from my perspective that means we should get everything we can out of this experience.

I get why this doesn’t happen for so many people, thinking about the nature of life and death can be terrifying. We get distracted with the day-to-day necessities of life, work, family, bills, and groceries. It’s easy to focus on this day-to-day until years have passed by. We constantly realize again and again that we haven’t talked to old friends for years, that our dreams haven’t been realized and that our bucket lists aren’t getting any shorter.

THIS DOES NOT HAVE TO HAPPEN! It is our choice my friends, our task and responsibility, our duty to ourselves to sit down and right this wrong. It is one of the most important ways in which we can make ourselves happy, a responsibility we owe to ourselves. This is one of the best ways to make ourselves happy, and if we are happy then those around us are happy as well. So give it a shot my friends, give someone a call, check off a bucket list item or make plans to do so. Go full on cliché and actually stop and go smell some roses, live my friends and make it a happy day ~ Rev Kane

National Poetry Month: A Eulogy to Amuse the Penguins

Posted on April 17, 2018 by Michael Kane

National Poetry Month: A Eulogy to Amuse the Penguins

Age is just a number. Life and aging are the best gifts we could ever have. ~ Cicely Tyson

So given it’s national poetry month I thought I would drop one of my poems. It’s about my grandfather, in his later years he lived near the convent my aunt lives at and took care of their gardens. He spent a lot of times with the nuns and they knew him very well. I’ve also included some links below to the work of some of my favorite poets. So enjoy my friends and I hope you are having a happy day. ~ Rev Kane

A Eulogy to amuse the penguins 2006

People don’t want the truth
particularly not when death is at hand
they don’t want to know a life
can’t stand to see the warts
they want disneyanna
where at the end of the day we gather
and have a parade down main street America

My grandfather was a man
a hard man
a cold man
but he mellowed with age
hard jagged lines on his face
fading soft with his laughter
eyes lit as he talked about back in the day

He died in 2000 and I was asked to do the eulogy
wanting to speak his life warts and all
but my sister ratted me out
ratted me out to my aunt the nun
I suffered through the speeches
sister, aunt, father oh my
to my shame I acquiesced

But I was on the hook my friends
had to stand up in front
relatives, family, friends, nuns
So I chose to pick a slice
grab a day in the life
and this is the one I chose

My grandfather loved tomatoes and roses
and in the neighborhood was a challenged boy
a boy of 32 with a dad in his 50’s
the boy had trampled grandpa’s plants and he was pissed
he had the opportunity to see the boy’s father
never given to silence, he spoke
of course grandpa spoke with his fists
like an 87 yr old warrior from the WWF
he came off the top step with a right cross
Grandpa went to scrappin in the street
he lost, hitting his head on the curb

I found my way to the hospital the next day
and asked him what happened
he said that guy had a roll of nickels in his hand
yeah grandpa, he was waitin for you
then he grew stone faced and paused
looking at me seriously, he said
I hit that guy in the gut with everything I had
and he didn’t go down, I might be getting old
and I laughed at the coolest thing I’ve ever heard
that day,
my 87 year old grandfather
just started to consider that he might be getting old.

People in the church smiled,
but the penguins rolled in the aisles,
because they knew him best

Life is a roller coaster, hang on and enjoy the ride

Posted on April 16, 2018 by Michael Kane

Life is a roller coaster, hang on and enjoy the ride

Defiant and having fun til the end

Life is 10% what happened to you and 90% how you react to it. ~ Charles R. Swindoll

So it was a bit of a roller coaster of a week. Well, actually, it all started a few weeks ago. I’ve been having some issues with regulating my blood pressure and needed to up my medication dosage. At the same time I was also in the process of scheduling a small elective surgery. Well, the day of the surgery my blood pressure spiked to frightening, stroke type levels, at one point 233 over 105. So they both cancelled me out of my surgery and then sent me to the cardiologist to get cleared before I can reschedule.

The cardiologist happily put me on some new medications that have my blood pressure back into the normal range. He also heard a heart murmur so he scheduled an echocardiagram and a stress test. So on Thursday, I went in to have pictures taken of my heart. About half-way through the echocardiagram the technician got obviously twitchy and asked me if I had recently had an illness with a high fever. I hadn’t and she continued on.

When she finished, she asked me to sit in the hall and not leave. She then hurried off to what I assumed was my cardiologist’s office and then came back about 5 minutes later. She sat down next to me the same way funeral directors sit next to you at the funeral home. Hands folded in her lap, soft voice, uber serious and she said, “we’re concerned.” We saw something on the echocardiagram, an infection of your aortic valve and you are being immediately admitted to the ER for endocarditis. I started to get up, she stopped me and made me wait for a nurse. Apparently she was too afraid to let me walk the 45 feet to the admitting desk. The nurse, who was somewhat confused asked me how I felt (great) any chest pains (no) any shortness of breath (no). Then I asked if I could run out to my car to get my phone charger and he said yes, although it turned out to not be in my car.

So I was admitted, injected, inspected and detected including taking a good deal of blood. I was hooked into the monitors like a cyborg and left in the ER to envision the idea that in the next 24 hours I was likely about to have open heart surgery. I have to admit, the thing I was most upset about was the idea that heart surgery might screw up my plans to soon be unemployed and move to Mexico. After a small 2 minute freak-out, I hit the point of acceptance and relaxed. At least I was wearing cool socks although I forgot to take a picture of them in the ER.

My alien socks

The cardiologist came in an explained that I likely had a severe bacteriological infection on my aortic valve that would destroy the valve and that they needed to immediately do an internal ultrasound of my heart by doing a procedure that feeds the emitter down your esophagus. Unfortunately, being a small rural hospital they don’t have the equipment here so I would need to be transported two hours away to another hospital. So that process started and I have to say the ER doctor and nurses in the ER were absolutely fantastic.

Eventually I heard the nurse talking to the ER doctor, my blood work was back and I over-heard, wow, these look great. Then a quick discussion about how I looked good, was alert and joking around. Eventually the ER doctor came and talked to me, if I had a massive infection on my heart valve my white blood cell count would be through the roof. It was below normal, so there was no infection. From there, everything started spiraling down to less excited levels. The fact that I had an echocardiagram 35 yeas ago that showed an abnormality was probably the cause of the issue. To be safe, I’m still going to have the trans-esophageal procedure in a couple of weeks to check everything out. Of course my cardiologists is still scared. His office calls me each day to see if I’m alive and how I’m feeling. Of course, I have never felt bad. So almost certainly I’m fine, just a congenital valve defect that I’ve been dealing with for over half a century.

But it will be good to know for certain, get my stress test done and then have my elective surgery rescheduled and done. So hopefully, my move to Mexico, is still on full steam ahead and I’m looking forward to happy days south of the border. The quote I used tonight is really pertinent, Thursday could have been a truly awful day. I could have gotten angry about the unfairness of it all, and even angry when it turned out not to be an emergency and upset that I’d been hospitalized. But that would have accomplished nothing. One thing that writing this blog over the last 8 years has really taught me is it’s not what happens, but how you deal with it. So I try to always deal with things positively, it’s not always easy, but it’s always a good choice.

As always I hope you have a happy day as well my friends. Oh, and get your blood pressure checked, they don’t call it the silent killer for nothing. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged attitude, happiness, heart problem, high blood pressure, hospital, hypertension, life, mexico, travel | 3 Comments

Happiness and being Child-like

Posted on April 14, 2018 by Michael Kane

Happiness and being Child-like

Happiness and Being Child-like

It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. ~Berkely Breathed

Good morning friends, first off today please read the title of this post carefully, Happiness and being child-like, not childish. One of the things that has always struck me about the Eastern philosophies (Buddhism, Taoism) is the idea of returning to your inner child. I think very often in the West this idea gets laughed at because when we hear or read this we think that means returning to acting like a child, it does not. This idea is not about becoming selfish, immature or escaping the responsibilities of life, not at all.

What this idea encompasses is the idea of returning to the joy, the wonder, the happiness of when life was innocent. Life is hard and eventually we all grow up, many of us, due to how hard life can be, grow up much, much too early. Returning to the inner child is to return to the time before that moment you grew up. Most people can’t identify that single moment, I’m one of the unlucky ones, I can. I can see it in my mind’s eye, remember the sounds, the smell, the feel of that very moment. It wasn’t until years later that I realized the significance of that night but I still remember it like it was last night.

Returning to your inner child is returning to the moment when you could spend an entire afternoon running and laughing in the sun. When laying on your back and looking at clouds felt like a day full of accomplishment. I often have moments, when I hear a child laugh, or catch the smell of cotton candy or baking cookies, when I truly feel, just in that moment like I did before that night, before I lost my innocence. If you can feel it for a moment, you can feel it for longer and that is what it means to return to your inner child and it is my greatest quest and I hope yours as well. Good luck on that effort and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

So smile and have your own happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

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