The Beauty of Christmas

 

Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys.  If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it.  ~Fyodor Dostoevsky

Hello my friends, as we come to the end of the year and move into the holiday season it’s always a good idea to look back on our journey and see what progress we have made.  We’ll do that a little more in-depth next week but today I want to talk about the beauty of Christmas.  While many people will find joy in this season related to its religious nature, or the gifts they receive, or even a coating of snow on the morning of December 25th I of course would like to talk about how the holiday can help on our quest to be happier.

We’ve talked about a lot of ways to increase our happiness this year and this holiday season allows us to do a number of things that make us happier.  Christmas allows us to do many of the things we have talked about before and one large one we have not, spending time with the ones you love.  Love and acceptance are what we expect from the people who are dear to us.  Hopefully the holidays allow you to both give that to, and receive it from others.  Christmas and family gatherings can be very stressful and it is easy to fall into old patterns of behaviors and old arguments, but that is a choice you make.  When you feel that beginning, step back, breathe and make the choice to be the compassionate and kind one in this relationship, however unfair that may be.  That choice, even if it is just for the holiday can be your greatest gift to yourself and your family.  Remember to hug everyone, that physical act of love and acceptance is more powerful than you realize.  Happy Christmas and as a reminder of all the ways you can continue your journey to a happier life, I’ve linked back to several that we have presented and that you can practice over the next few days.

To be present and be in the moment and not thinking about work or responsibilities:

https://ministryofhappiness.wordpress.com/2010/11/22/on-being-present-in-your-life/

Focus on the good things, forget, at least for the day, the old rivalries, fights and slights:

https://ministryofhappiness.wordpress.com/2010/11/15/111/

Notice the small things, pay attention to the smile in a child’s eyes, or the lights of the tree reflected in the window:

https://ministryofhappiness.wordpress.com/2010/12/06/happiness-exercise-and-holiday-depression/

Be grateful that you can be where you want to be:

https://ministryofhappiness.wordpress.com/2010/11/03/being-grateful/

Slow down and take it easy breathe and relax, don’t spoil your happiness rushing around:

https://ministryofhappiness.wordpress.com/2010/10/25/slow-down/

Exercise, yes, exercise, even on Christmas go sledding or skating with the little ones or just take a quiet walk on Christmas day:

https://ministryofhappiness.wordpress.com/2010/12/06/happiness-exercise-and-holiday-depression/

 

The art of living does not consist in preserving and clinging to a particular mode of happiness, but in allowing happiness to change its form without being disappointed by the change; happiness, like a child, must be allowed to grow up.  ~Charles L. Morgan

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The Dalai Lama on Attitude

People often expect the other person to respond first in a positive way, instead of taking the initiative to create that possibility. I feel that’s wrong; it can act as a barrier that just promotes a feeling of isolation from others. To overcome feelings of isolation and loneliness, your underlying attitude makes a tremendous difference – approaching others with the thought of compassion in your mind is the best way. ~ Dalai Lama

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The Internal Minefield

If you regularly read this blog you know that I post weekly each Monday on our mutual quest for happiness and then occasionally bring in other small posts particularly from the Dalai Lama or Deng Ming-Dao.  As it happened today I experienced a small piece of synchronicity as I encountered a new statement from his holiness that matched up very well with today’s daily meditation by Deng Ming-Dao, so I thought I would provide them both together. 

Both are expression of acceptance of what is inside each of us, the good and the bad.  The Dalai Lama asks us to eliminate the negative. Deng Ming-Dao guides us just a bit further by explaining that we must express the negative to remove it.  I will humbly add my own advice to this esteemed company and talk a little bit about how to do that. 

First the Dalai Lama:

True happiness comes from having a sense of inner peace and contentment, which in turn must be achieved by cultivating altruism, love and compassion, and by eliminating anger, selfishness and greed. ~Dalai Lama

 

Now Deng Ming-Dao from Daily Meditations: The 365 Day Tao

Express yourself
That is meaning

Ask yourself each day, “What remains unexpressed within me?”

Whatever it is, bring it out.  But be judicious.  The rantings of mad people do not yield greater freedom.  Those who are with Tao use expression to find greater understanding of themselves and so find liberation from ignorance and circumstance.

All that is good and unique in you should be brought out.  If you do not do this, you will be stunted.  Never hold back, thinking that you will wait for a better time.  The good in you is like the water in a well:  The more you draw from it, the more fresh water will seep in.  If you don’t draw from it, the water will only become stagnant.

What is dark, perhaps even evil, inside you must be expressed in a proper way too.  Lust, hatred, cruelty, and resentment – these must all be carefully taken out of yourself, like finding a bomb and taking it to be detonated harmlessly.  Your heart may be quite a mine field, but you must persevere in clearing if you are to plant crops and frolic without concern.

Ask yourself each day, “What remains unexpressed within me?”  Unless you can express it, you will not clarify your inner nature.

And finally me:

I love the daily meditation above, but it raises an immediate question, how do I do this?  How do I take those negative and frightening things out of myself like the bombs that they are and diffuse them?  For me there have always been two mechanisms, fantasy and writing.  First I think it’s ok to allow the negative within you to be expressed in your mind, fantasizing about screaming at your boss or the rude waiter is ok, this is particularly good for those things that may be considered evil within you.  As long as it doesn’t transition from fantasizing to planning.

A more effective way for me is writing, many writers explain that when you write you remove the energy behind what you write as you lay it down on paper.  It is similar for me, when I put my thoughts, this energy down on paper it gives me the chance to rethink it, analyze my emotions and come to a better understanding.  This is what works for me but there are many ways to deal with the negative; some remove this energy by being physical, through exercise or recreation; others through meditation, tai chi or yoga; and finally many others through art.  The method is irrelevant, what is important is to find a method by which you can express yourself, that also allows you while in the process, to find the mental space to consider your thoughts and come to a happier place.   Of utmost importance is that you come to know what is within you, cultivate that which is good, and work to remove that which is not.  Have a great day.

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Notice the Small Things

Notice the Small Things

We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop. ~ Mother Teresa

happiness calvin hobbes

It’s a rainy cold day and I’ve bundled up on the couch, so it’s a good time to talk about noticing the small things.  As we grudgingly roll out of bed and blast into our daily routine, commute, and start our work day, it is all too easy to do this in a haze; after all it’s just a another day.  But tomorrow, is another day you’re alive, another day that this magic thing that is life is occurring and we should be thankful and enjoy it.  We need to find the joy in the standard and the routine for that is the majority of our time.  One way to do that is notice the small things.  Take a second to return the smile of someone you encounter, notice the sunrise/sunset during your commute, or take a moment to see the new hairstyle someone is wearing in your office.

Noticing these things may not do anything in themselves to increase your happiness, but may increase the happiness of others, which in the end will increase yours.  So have a happy day my friends, take your time, remember to breathe, stay positive and notice the small things. ~ Rev Kane

Do not consider any act of kindness insignificant, even meeting your brother with a cheerful face. ~ Mohammed

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How Travel Makes You Happier

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Our Best Happiness Posts of 2015

My favorite Appalachian Trail Photos of 2015

Why I’m Happy Right Now!

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Why Thanksgiving is my Favorite Holiday

Why Thanksgiving is my Favorite Holiday

I am grateful for what I am and have.  My Thanksgiving is perpetual. ~ Henry David Thoreua

I love Thanksgiving, it may be the only holiday I truly love.  Why?  Well mostly because it’s unaffiliated, it’s not a religious holiday or a patriotic holiday, there is no abstract reasoning to this holiday.  This is a holiday that is solely about what is near and dear to us and an opportunity to say thanks for all of it.  I would point out that I’ve hosted, and been part of a lot of orphan Thanksgivings in my time, but never an orphan 4th of July or Christmas.  One of the beauties of Thanksgiving is that you chose who is your family that day whether they are blood relatives or not.

Another reason I love this day are the traditions that exist, happy get togethers, food, lots of food and football.  For me when I was young the tradition was just a little different in that it started with deer hunting, and particularly when my grandfather was still alive, it was a day to go out and spend some time in the woods with him.  Now I know those of you opposed to hunting won’t get this, but a big part of the reason you’re out there is the quiet moments of the early mornings out in nature, and to have my grandpa along, so much the better.  So we would wake early, go out for a couple of hours, come home and eat a huge breakfast.  Then we’d walk in the mid-day and come home to warmth and football and a feast.  Being an Irish-Italian family that meant the standard Turkey dinner with  the addition of lasagna, meatballs, sausage and maybe a bit of venison thrown in, heaven.

I know that a lot of folks don’t like the excess of Thanksgiving and think this day of what might legitimately be called gluttony is obscene when people are homeless and hungry.  I disagree, I think if we always stay focused on people less fortunate you remain perpetually unhappy.  In my opinion taking one day a year to spoil yourself, eat too much and revel in whatever excess you have is not only sensible but necessary.  We have 364 additional days to help others, what would be wrong is if you didn’t take any of those other days to help.

rev kane, slower pace of life, can make you happy

A slower pace of life can make you happy

So Happy Thanksgiving friends, enjoy your day, your family, your friends and your feast, relax and have a happy day. ~ Rev kane

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Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving and on this day of thanks and community a few words by the Dalai Llama on community:

The compassionate mind is very important. Fear, anger, jealousy are based on a self-centered attitude. By developing a sense of caring for others’ well-being your heart automatically opens and that brings transparency, straightforwardness and honesty, which leads to friendship. We are social animals, and one individual’s survival relies entirely on the rest of the community. ~ Dalai Llama

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Thoughts on Peace of Mind, the Dalai Llama

If you have peace of mind, when you meet with problems and difficulties they won’t disturb your inner peace. You’ll be able to employ your human intelligence more effectively. But, if your mental state is disturbed, full of emotion, it is very difficult to cope with problems, because the mind that is full of emotion is biased, unable to see reality.  So whatever you do will unrealistic and naturally fail.  ~ Dalai Llama 

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On Being Present in Your Life

On Being Present in Your Life

Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.  ~ Cherokee Indian Proverb

mindful

So I sat down to work on my Ministry of Happiness post and decided tonight to work on talking about a very important concept, being present in your life.  As with all of the topics I write about I take some time to peruse the web, to see what others have written, to see if there are resources that I can recommend to help you on your journey to a happier life.  As will often happy I bumped into the Zenhabits site, and I do believe it is the one of the best sites on the web.  At times I’ve referred you to the site to check out a particular resource or item, however tonight I find myself utterly impressed with their post on being present.  So, because there is wisdom in knowing when someone has done something better than you can, I will refer you to their amazing piece on being present.  And in the spirit of being present in our over stimulated, multitasking world, take a few minutes to do nothing but focus on the article and let it sink in, great way to start a shortened holiday week, here’s the link:

A simple guide to being present for the overwhelmed and overworked

You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.  ~ Jan Glidewell

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Remember the Sweet Things The best story you’ll ever hear!

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Stories of Kindness

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Materialism and Happiness, the Dalai Lama

Material progress and a higher standard of living bring us greater comfort and health, but do not lead to a transformation of the mind, which is the only thing capable of providing lasting peace. Profound happiness, unlike fleeting pleasures, is spiritual in nature. It depends on the happiness of others and it is based on love and affection.

~Dalai Lama

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A few words from the Dalai Lama

According to my own experience, the highest level of inner calm comes from the development of love and compassion. The more concerned we are with the happiness of others, the more we increase our own well-being. Friendliness and warmth towards others allow us to relax and help us to dispel any sense of fear or insecurity so we can overcome whatever obstacles we face. ~Dalai Lama

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