Don’t Lie to Yourself

Don’t Lie to Yourself

lie to yourself quote

I fell into a conversation the other day, a very interesting conversation.  It was about the internal dialogue we all have with ourselves.  You know, the conversation inside our heads that we are constantly having with ourselves.  When I end up talking with someone about this, the focus is usually on how we can use this voice to make us happier.  An exercise I often ask people to do, is to work on changing their internal dialogue, particularly in creating a more positive self-image.  I ask people, three times a day, to look in the mirror and tell themself how awesome they are.  I ask them to do this to counteract the negative messaging we all get both from external sources and from our inner dialogue.  As you all know, internally we are often our harshest critics.

But this conversation the other day was a bit different.  We were discussing the level of honesty we possess in our own inner dialogue.  I have often said that human beings possess two superpowers, rationalization and denial.  We seem to be able to rationalize anything we do to protect our own well-being.  In the process we are also seemingly able to deny almost anything, even reality.  We all know people who have issues, who no matter how plainly they are confronted, are able to first deny that they have an issue.  Then seemingly incredulously, if you can get them past the initial realization, can fully rationalize how their behavior really is ok.  Addicts are the true masters of this ability.

But that’s not the type of internal lying I’m talking about tonight.  I’m talking about the lies we tell ourselves to avoid telling ourselves the whole truth.  For example, we end a relationship because the other person is not right for us.  However, the real truth is that it really is you, not them.  The real reason the relationship had to end was that there is some issue you need to resolve within yourself, not something they needed to do different.  That deeper realization is what we really need to understand in order to help ourselves become happier.  That’s the real work that you have to do in order to improve your life.

Getting to that truth is not easy, it often takes accepting things about yourself that you’re not proud of, or make you highly uncomfortable.  It’s important to take time to face and address these issues for they are at the core of the things that can destroy your happiness.  It may seem a daunting task to discover what they are, but it really isn’t that difficult.  These are things we already know about ourselves, it just takes some quiet time, and some honest reflection about who we are and why we do the things we do.  Give it a try, take some time, focus on the why of your decision making and tell yourself the truth, I think the effort will be illuminating and bring you happy days my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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My COVID Times Diary – Living our values

My COVID Times Diary –  Living our values

values, covid times

I’m frustrated and angry.  My anger and frustration comes from seeing how few people in our society understand basic graphs and data.  How simple scientific concepts just seem to elude people.  Even worse, and the most frustrating thing for me, is watching how easily people are willing to utterly devalue human life.  Over the last week something has become very clear to me.  In America, we are willing to sacrifice people’s lives for the sake of the economy, but are not willing to sacrifice any part of the economy for people’s lives.  Let that sink in, we are clearly saying in America, businesses making money is more important than your life.  I’m not some bug eyed optimist, I know there is a point where a crashing economy can cause the death and destruction of people’s lives beyond what the virus is doing.  But really, is that only six weeks?  Is our economy so fragile that in six weeks it totally falls apart?  If so, we have bigger problems than the virus.

We did social distancing to flatten the curve.  That means we have been staying inside and avoiding social contact in order to make sure the hospitals weren’t overwhelmed and even more people died.  We’ve done a pretty good job with this.  But there was a second reason we did social distancing and that was to buy time for us to prepare for re-opening the economy.  That means time to develop and produce enough testing, to hire and train enough contact tracers and to set up quarantine rules for people who are exposed.  When they are properly deployed we can safely open up.  Unfortunately we’re not ready and so that likely means opening leads to bigger outbreaks.  We need these things to live with the disease in our new normal.  Instead, the decision we’re making is not to protect the economy, but to accept more needless deaths.

In America, our values are being clearly demonstrated by our actions.  We value capitalism over the health and welfare of the majority of the people in our society.  We have seen this in the hesitancy for America to create significant and dependable social safety nets like universal healthcare or any other affordable health care plan.  What we value is coolness, we love to brag that we have the best MRI machine or the newest but massively expensive new treatment for disease X.  Yet, the richest, most powerful and supposedly best country in history has the 55th lowest infant mortality rate in the world, worse than Bosnia and almost every country with universal health care on Earth.  Given this reality, it is not even surprising we’re prioritizing the economy over people’s lives.

People in America are selfish and value comfort and convenience over the lives of their fellow Americans.  Whenever the public is interviewed about businesses opening you almost immediately hear about people needing their hair and nails done.  People have threatened violence over mask rules and have actually shot people in America for being told to wear a mask, or that they had to have take out instead of sit in dining, AT A McDONALDS!  I’ve personally seen two near fistfights break out over people not wearing masks and being too close to others.

On my walk today, I counted the number of people I saw wearing masks.  I walk through a business district where there are lots of markets and restaurants doing takeout.  So people waiting to enter those businesses have to wear masks.  So with them included, I counted and 48% (53/133) were wearing a mask.  On the return trip I didn’t count the people who were in those lines but only people walking on the streets, and only 11% (8/72) were wearing a mask.  Why would people not wear one, simple, it’s inconvenient, uncomfortable, it gets hot or they don’t like the smell of their own breaths.  People are not willing to be inconvenienced to protect their fellow citizen from a deadly disease.

People are highly adept at using the two superpowers all humans possess, rationalization and denial.  We absolutely value the Disneyized version of our lives over reality and will act accordingly.  People who I know are intelligent enough to understand what’s going on, who I know don’t want to get ill, continue to act contrary to their own best interests.  They will rationalize that it’s ok to visit someone because they don’t go out much, or that they haven’t seen their family in so long, they are of course always being careful.  But when I hear people tell me about having sustained personal contact, the thing we absolutely know is the worst thing you can do with coronavirus, I’m absolutely baffled.  But they deny they are putting anyone at risk, or rationalize that they are being safe.  We’ve see this behavior across the entire country and as such, we will extend the length of this outbreak, and we will increase the number people who will die, who didn’t have to.  Hopefully that won’t include you.

Perhaps we just don’t care because most of the people who get ill and die will likely be elderly, large numbers of nursing home residents, obese people, and people with high blood pressure or diabetes.  To say it plainly this will mean old people, fat people, poor people and people of color for the most part.  The types people who we value least in America.

I’ve been angry for a week over all of this, I don’t know what to do.  I worry that people I know and love will die because of people’s lack of understanding or caring.  A colleague told me the other day that they’ve lost two family members to coronavirus already.  I just found out someone I used to work with died yesterday but I don’t yet know if it was COVID but it seems likely.  It angers me that people seem to need to have someone very close to them die, before they can care for others.  I woke up angry about this today and honestly it seems very few people seem to truly care.

We have to change people, America has to change, but I’m angry because everything I see and hear in this country right now seems to indicate that we are nothing but a country of selfish, convenience obsessed narcissists who could care less about the health and welfare of their fellow man.  I hear so often that this is a Christian country, well, these seem like very unchristian values.  We have choices to make, I hope we make the right ones, I don’t want you dear reader, to die needlessly because someone couldn’t be inconvenienced.

 

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We all have to stop being afraid

We all have to stop being afraid

fear, happinessCuriosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will. ~ James Stephen

Everyone is afraid

There is a lot of desolation out in cyberspace, a lot of destructive language.  I mean the idea that Trolls exist is really amazing and horrifying to me.  Think about it, there are large numbers of people in this world whose sole form of connection to the rest of us is to write horrible things on the internet for the sole purpose of getting reactions and hurting people’s feelings.

We are constantly subjected to language and information whose sole purpose is to divide us from our fellow humans.  For political gain political parties, political candidates and apparently even foreign governments put out divisive material.  Under this onslaught of negativity people fall prey to faulty thinking, silly ideas and their own prejudices.  We all know this, we all see it in the comment sections to news articles.  At the center of a lot of this is just fear.

love more fear less

Love more Fear less

I get it, life is hard and there are so many things that you can worry about out.  Disease, war, crime, terrorism, losing your job so many things can go wrong in life.  People can be absolutely awful and often you don’t get treated the way you should be.  So we’re afraid, afraid to die, afraid to fail, hell we are even afraid to succeed.  But fear is a liar.

fear happiness

Fear is killing your happiness

Overcoming your fears

It is important in life to overcome our fears.  Our fears are solely dependent on us for their very existence.  Past our fears is where our dreams live and so to get to your dreams you first have to beat back your fears.  It’s not an easy thing, I know that, but it’s a necessary thing if you want to find happiness.

fear, happinessIf you read this blog regularly you know about the things I’ve done, traveling to the Middle East for vacation, doing a 1000 miles on the Appalachian Trail, and photographing Polar Bears.  I was afraid in some way to do all of those things.  There were legitimate terrorism fears on my trip to Jordan and an ISIS attack occurred when I was there that killed over 30 people.  Polar bears, well hell, they will eat you.  And before I started my hike on the Appalachian Trail I’d never done an unsupported hike of over two days.  So there was fear before every one of those adventures and that’s ok.  But overcoming those fears led to some absolutely amazing life experiences, that’s what overcoming your fear can do for you and why it’s so important. Life is a one-way, one-time trip and you have to make the most of it and find happiness wherever you can.

There is no mystical, magical formula to overcoming your fears, I wish there was.  At the end of the day you just have to have courage.  A quote I’ve seen recently that I really like,is that being fearless when your most afraid is the greatest life hack.  Sometimes you just have to jump, I know it’s hard but it’s worth it in the end.

So my friends, attack your fears, have courage, jump and have a happy day. ~ Rev Kane

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Things happy people do differently

Things happy people do differently

happiness nature

Beautiful fall lake

Happiness is a form of courage. ~Holbrook Jackson

Originally posted May, 2012

Via a good friend of mine, I found a piece on the 15 things happy people do differently.  Basically the article focus on the characteristics happy people have and the choices they make like accepting new things instead of resisting change, forgiving instead of holding a grudge.  A great piece, enjoy and have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

1. LOVE vs. FEAR.
2. ACCEPTANCE vs. RESISTANCE.
3. FORGIVENESS vs. UNFORGIVENESS.
4. TRUST vs. DOUBT.
5. MEANING vs. AMBITION.
6. PRAISING vs. CRITICIZING.
7. CHALLENGES vs. PROBLEMS.
8. SELFLESSNESS vs. SELFISHNESS.
9. ABUNDANCE vs. LACK/POVERTY.
10. DREAMING BIG vs. BEING REALISTIC.
11. KINDNESS vs. CRUELTY.
12. GRATITUDE vs. INGRATITUDE.
13. PRESENCE/ ENGAGEMENT vs. DISENGAGEMENT.
14. POSITIVITY vs. NEGATIVITY.
15. TAKING RESPONSIBILITY vs. BLAMING.

Other Happiness Posts You Might Enjoy!

Holiday Happiness: Overcoming Worry

Happy Christmas? Thoughts on the Holiday Season

Holiday Happiness: Family, Friends & Environment

Holiday Happiness: Funny Holiday Stories

Holiday Happiness: Resources for Fighting Depression

 

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Happiness is Dina’s Daily Dose

Happiness is Dina’s Daily Dose

happiness, happy

The miracle is not that we do this work, but that we are happy to do it.             ~ Mother Teresa

So we’re all facing some hard times, I can tell with the folks I work with, there hasn’t been a week since shelter in place started that I haven’t had to talk someone down.  It’s not surprising, people are stressed, afraid and living in uncertain times.  I’m starting to feel like I should put counselor on my resume under my list of job duties.   When this all first started I made a point of reaching out to people.  I first reached out to the people I don’t talk to real often, then transitioned to my closer friends.  It came as no surprise that the deepest contacts in this process were with my old friends from Plattsburgh.

After I had failed out of college, pretty much crashed and burned my life, I started to put things back together.  That process started at Columbia-Greene Community College, their help is one of the reasons I today work in the community college system, it gives me a chance to do for others was that institution and the people their did for me.  My next step was to transfer and as I was starting the process of evaluating colleges I took a tour of the college my sister was attending, the State University of New York at Plattsburgh.  On the tour, the tour guide talked about how SUNY Plattsburgh was a special place.  I was significantly more cynical back in those days and I rolled my eyes so hard it drew a comment from someone else on the tour.

desert sunsetAfter going through my search I did finally decided to go to SUNY Plattsburgh, a small college in the Adirondack Mountains on the Canadian border sixty miles south of Montreal.  It became apparent really early on that in fact it was a special place.  At transfer orientation, even though I started out feeling like a complete outsider, I quickly found people I felt comfortable around.  In fact, I met a guy from Pennsylvania named Bryan, he would soon become my best friend on campus and now, almost 35 years later, we are still close.

I’m a person who keeps a small circle of close friends.  And although over my 55 years of life I’ve been and lived in a lot of places, done a lot of things and met thousands and thousands of people, I have very few close friends.  What’s amazing  is that a large percentage of those people that I’m close to, are people I met at SUNY Plattsburgh.  Tonight I want to talk about one of them, my friend Dina.

One thing that I have always admired about Dina is her big heart.  Of course like all big hearted people, she’s been hurt more than a few times, but what amazes me about her is she keeps coming right back and putting her heart right back out there.  So, it didn’t surprise me at all when I reached out to her that I found out she was doing something amazing for her colleagues.  Like me, she also works in education, and experiencing like I have that people are stressed and edgy, she started sending out little daily pick me ups.  She calls them Dina’s Daily Doses of …. and each day that sentence is ended with another little bit of positivity and happiness.  Now I do one of these blogs each week, even though Dina’s Doses aren’t long, I very much know how much work it is to come up with something like this every single day.  But it doesn’t just take work, it takes a lot of heart to work this hard to help people feel supported and cared for, she’s doing something really amazing and I’m happy and proud to call her my friend.

So below are a few of Dina’s Daily Doses of …. I hope you enjoy them and they help you have a happy day my friends.  ~ Rev Kane

 

.. Chocolate!

For those of you who don’t know, we love our chocolate at Central Office! In particular, our Dove chocolate which, by the way, have sayings on their wrappers. So, here are a few:

“When life isn’t going right, go left!” Haylea S.-South Dakota

“Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations!” Jetta L.-Massachusetts

“Your vibe attracts your tribe!” Libby W.-California

For the sake of unearthing more sayings, I solemnly swear to eat two pieces of chocolate each day. Feel free to make the same commitment! After all, it is for the greater good! 😂

 

…. Happy!!!

It’s Friday… it’s 5 o’clock somewhere… it’s Happy Hour!!!

Here’s a cocktail perfect for the sugaring season… the Old Vermonter!
1 1/2 ounces gin
1/2 ounce pure maple syrup
1/4 ounce freshly squeezed lemon juice or straight from the bottle
2 dashes of bitters (if you have them)
Pour all ingredients over ice and give it a couple of shakes..
pour into your favorite glass and garnish with an orange rind.
Savor!

Now, if you prefer a non-alcoholic beverage… enjoy a Shirley Temple!
1/4 cup lemon-lime soda
1 1/2 tablespoons grenadine
1 maraschino cherry (or, if it’s been a rough day, 2 or 3 or 4…)
Pour the soda and grenadine over ice. Stir. Pour into your
favorite glass and garnish with the cherries.
Enjoy!

And for an added bonus, enjoy this video of a 6-year-old who is a
connoisseur of the Shirley Temple!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5R0fqUIkXE

 

…. Cartoons!
What? Did you think it would have to do with Cinco de Mayo and margaritas??? That was too easy!
Happy National Cartoonists Day! Of course, you can always fix yourself a margarita to enjoy while watching these amazing animated short films 😁 And, as a precautionary measure, you might want to have some tissues too…

 

… Avians!

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTevoLkcFdI); so much better than singing in the rain (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1ZYhVpdXbQ)!!

While you’re enjoying the sunshine and taking a walk, listen for our avian friends singing in the sun!   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHnzqKfxSQw

Or, enjoy some time at the picnic table drawing our harbingers of spring..I ‘ve included two drawing levels… advanced and beginner 😁

https://johnmuirlaws.com/drawing-birds/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzxRWTv237M

Or, follow their lead and rock out!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exIYiwbyJU4

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Happiness Resources: Happiness Podcasts

Happiness Resources: Happiness Podcasts

happiness

Tonight a collection of multimedia pieces about happiness, enjoy and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Happiness podcasts from Robert Puff, PhD podcasts on a range of topics related to happiness.

Spread Happy – a site with a number of happiness related videos to check out

How to be happy podcasts – a series of podcasts on life, relationships and happiness

Does having children make you happier? – a piece from NPR

What you need to be happier –  10 minute video lecture

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My COVID Times Diary – Back to “Normal”

My COVID Times Diary – Back to “Normal”

coronavirus, covid

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. ~ Lao Tzu

So there’s been a lot of talk lately about getting back to “normal”, as if at some point we flip a light a switch and everything is suddenly like it used it to be before Covid Times.  First of all, let’s talk about the changes because the world has certainly changed since March.

Let’s get right to the heart of it, since most of us came under shelter in place orders over 65,000 Americans have died and that number continues to climb.  One of the favorite things the “coronavirus is no big deal” crowd love to say is that the flu kills more people.  Most years somewhere between 4,000 and 50.000 die per year from the flu.  Covid has killed 65.000+ in a couple of months, so let’s put that bit of misinformation to bed.  And that’s WITH massive socially distancing efforts, without a doubt had we not done what we have, and continue to do, that number would be far higher.

We have been sheltering in place, learning how to do everything virtually.  We have become familiar with lots of new terms like, flattening the curve, hell I even worked it into a presentation last week.   Many of us have learned how to be elementary school teachers or at the very least assistant teachers.  We’ve been learning how to entertain ourselves at home, workout at home, socialize from home, I even attended a birthday party in Spokane, Washington from home.

Milestones are being missed, lots of high school seniors are missing out on proms and graduations.  They are teens, they are understandably upset but as I discussed with one of them, its not unreasonably to be said that the choice could be between the prom and your grandma living another ten years.  I realize that’s a harsh thing to say, but it’s also the truth, sure, might not be their grandmother, but it would be someone’s granny.  Here are some images of how life has changed in just the last two months.

coronavirus, covid

You see face masks hanging in cars

  People are understandably antsy after six to eight weeks of sheltering in place and having their comfortable lives greatly disrupted.  Add to this fear, stress, the unknown, lack of certainty or knowledge and all of that really eats at people.  Throw into it people, their family and friends losing or being in fear of losing their incomes through their jobs or even businesses they’ve built and it’s hard on people, really hard.

We have a really difficult decision in front of us as a country, what’s more important economic health, or human health.  In our capitalist society we have typically chosen economic health at the expense of the health of people at the margins of our society.  However now, those margins are far broader and choosing economic health means that we are choosing the economy over the very lives of the elderly (particularly in nursing homes), diabetics and people with other underlying conditions like high blood pressure.  None of these conditions are rare, ten percent of Americans are diabetic, thirty percent have high blood pressure and 16% are over 60.  The numbers are far worse in the African American community, 19 and 41% respectively.  You see we’re not just choosing the economy over health, we’re making a decision that will have a much higher impact on minority and vulnerable populations.  Obviously, there’s a point when the economic harm will outweigh the damage done than the virus is doing.  Before reaching that point, we need to reopen the economy and make a move toward normalcy.  The problem is that we don’t know enough about this virus, or the economy you might argue, to be certain about any of this.

However we do know what the best practices are in taking this action.  The best practices suggest that we have to have a high level of accurate testing capability both for active cases as well as antibody testing to see who has had it, and give us an indication of what their immune status is at this time.  Next, we have to have a high level of contact tracing ability.  What this means is that if these things are in place, we can determine who has immunity and who is actively sick.  We can quarantine the sick and quickly track down those they have been in contact with and have them self-quarantine.  This is the only reliable way to keep the virus in check while re-opening the economy, it also means publicly maintaining social distancing.  The problem is, is that we’re not ready to effectively do any of this.

What happens if we open without those capabilities is place is unreliably predictable.  What do I mean by that?  Well, in some places if people aren’t tested and tracked and people violate social distancing recommendations, the virus will rebound and we will see flare ups and even widespread outbreaks.  But this is wholly unpredictable, and in some places you may get bigger flare ups than in other places.  It’s based on random chance and luck, the number of asymptomatic carriers (think Typhoid Mary), and even the ways in which people ignore social distancing recommendations.  I have no faith people that people will follow social distancing guidelines.

How do I say that with such certainty.  Well, strict social distancing and shelter in place guidelines are in place right now and here’s what I saw just today.  At the grocery store this morning, people ignoring all of the signage, going in the exit, not following directional arrows, standing too close to the person in line in front of them.  I saw people everywhere with no masks, or masks around their necks.  I saw a father and son walking down the street and an older man stopped to talk with them and asked and received a high five from the kid, it wasn’t sufficient, so he had him do it again.

I saw a group of six men talking two feet apart from each other.  Some with masks, some with masks covering their mouths but not their noses, others without, just chatting away.  Californians took great joy when the governor of Florida reopened the beaches near Jacksonville and people flooded those beaches.  The hashtag #floridamorons was very popular on social media.  Then it got hot in Southern California and tens of thousands flooded the beaches of SoCal, pictures in California were indistinguishable from the Florida pictures.  A Norther California County opened this weekend, a restaurant in El Dorado County opened and packed it’s tiny dining room.  This is what’s happening with the restrictions fully in place, I have no faith in people to do whats smart and right, once the restrictions are lifted.  Oh, without a doubt businesses will make more money, unemployment will start to reduce and more people will die.  We will clearly have chosen economy over humanity.

I’ve heard a lot of people say that the corona virus outbreak is our next 9/11.  I don’t think that is a terrible comparison, especially for the point I want to make about returning to “normal.”  You see 9/11 was an acute trauma for America, in a single day thousands of Americans were killed.  It damaged us, not just physically, but it drove a stake through the center of our psyche.  That day and the acts that followed over the next years have permanently changed America.  Now, almost twenty years after 9/11 we’re back to normal.  But think about what normal is now.

If you’re old enough, you remember when returning home from a trip meant meeting friends or loved ones at the gate right off of the jetway.  When you went to the airport you could get there 30 minutes before a flight, hustle and make your flight.  But now, no one but ticketed passengers can get past security.  You have to partially disrobe on your way through the checkpoint, you can’t carry on any liquids or even a big tube of toothpaste.  The whole process means now arriving a recommended two hours before your flight.  It used to be your lazy friend who didn’t want to come to the gate would sit in their car outside of baggage claim.  You can no longer loiter at the curb in your car without the police asking you to move on.

In the late 70’s my uncle thought he was funny on a trip with his friend to Mexico.  He let his friend get in front of him on the way to the plane and then yelled, “Hi Jack.”  Yes, his name was Jack and that little prank earned him some dirty looks and a quick word from the flight staff.  Now, a prank like that gets you kicked off the flight and some time with TSA with the possibility of federal charges.  People of Arab descent, men in particular, and Sikhs, seem to very frequently get pulled for “randomly selected” additional security screening.  This is what we now consider normal.

What will our new normal be like?  This question is really relevant to me in my job.  I’m part of an administration that will need to figure out how to reopen campus.  How to bring students into classroom with social distancing, how to operate a division office, how to appropriately run labs under the new “normal.”

Think of how deep this goes.  How do you open schools where you need young kids to not touch each other, to wash their hands often, to cover when they cough and not to touch everything?  As a friend said on social media recently, you can’t put two little kids together and have them not touch each other, now scale that up to 25 or 30 kids.  Think about pre-school and day care where small children and toddlers need hugs and other contact to feel safe and loved.  Sure, children seem to be doing better when they get the disease, but they do still get the disease.  And what about the custodians, teachers, cafeteria works, aides, principals, office workers, school nurses and counselors?  I guess we finally designate educators as heroes, like grocery store workers.  If you’ve had children you have no doubt experienced how much more often your children and you yourself got ill after they started school.   Small children are fabulous disease transmission vectors, COVID transmission will be no different.  I’m not saying don’t open schools in fall, I’m just saying lets not pretend there are no consequences or that things will be our old version of normal.  Children eating lunch in their classrooms, will they have PE or recess?

Grocery stores have already showed some of the changes that will occur in the shopping environment and that will continue.  Taped down lines to help people understand what six feet apart means.  Limiting the number of people in stores, in the dining room of restaurants, paper plates and throw away utensils in restaurants.  No more buffets, servers wearing masks and gloves and what else?  Will we ever shake hands again or hug, we will, but should we, before this is over?  Particularly if there is no vaccine and no solid curative agents, how we will date in Covid Times?  The definition of bravery will be going to a new therapist for a massage, sustained close quarter contact is the perfect method of transmission.  Our new “normal,” will not be the normal you saw in November of 2019.  You will never be the same again, the world will never be the same again.

I said when all of this began that this would be a far bigger economic than health crisis.  I stand by that assertion, it’s horrible that likely 100,000+ people will die from this illness this year, that millions will become ill, maybe even you or me.  But 30 million are already filing for unemployment which means like 40 million are already out of work or have had their incomes seriously impacted.  Millions more are stressed wondering if they will be laid off soon.  The economic impact has been acute, reaching Great Depression levels in a very short period of time.  This will be the worst economic pain we have felt in almost 100 years as a society and very likely the worst of our lives.  Now the only good news is that the path to recovery is clearer than it was for the Great Depression or the Great Recession.  It doesn’t mean that there won’t be long lasting impacts from this disease, there will be.  So there’s not just a battle against a disease but also an economic recovery that has to happen before we even get to our new “normal.’ ~ Michael “Rev” Kane

Other Posts about our COVID Times

Is this the End?

Travel memories in COVID Times

The Great Pause

Inequality in COVID Times

Fear in COVID Times

 

 

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Happiness is Making Progress

Happiness is Making Progress

declutter, happiness

Humanity may endure the loss of everything; all its possessions may be turned away without infringing its true dignity – all but the possibility of improvement. ~ Johann Gottlieb Fichte

So about five years ago I set a goal for myself, I talked about the desire of simplifying my life.  My overall goal was to get rid of 75% of everything I own.  My desire was to get a greater focus in my life by starting with my possessions.   At the time I was living in a four bedroom house and although I didn’t have enough possessions to truly fill that house up, in fact it looked a bit bare, I still lamented the days when I could put everything I own into my Volkswagen whenever I moved.  A year later I had started the process and moved into a two bedroom condo.  When I left the desert for my latest walkabout my possessions very much filled every available inch of space in a 10 x 10 storage space plus a pretty full car.  This was in fact a decrease from where I had been, two years earlier when I left for that walkabout I had a pretty full 10 x 15 storage space and a really full bigger vehicle.  So the 10 x 10 was actually progress.

As I made the move to my current location I decided to move into a 600 square foot studio apartment.  I also needed two 5 x 10 storage spaces to contain everything I own.  I took the three weeks I had prior to starting work to work on my reduction goal.  I was really happy that within that time I did a lot of work and actually was able to eliminate one of the 5 x 10 storage spaces.

I had continued to work on the process over the last nine months and I’m excited to say that this weekend I released my last storage space.  That means that everything I own now fits into a 600 square foot studio.  And it’s not even horribly crowded, sure my sleeping area now has a box stacked fake headboard.  I’d be further along in this process if I wasn’t a sports card and book collector, but I’m getting there with that piece of the puzzle.  I’ve also done a pretty good job in trimming down my hiking and camping gear.  Not to mention getting rid of most of my Burning Man gear.

At this point I’ve probably gotten rid of 50 – 60% of everything I owned when I started this process.  I’ve replaced some things with more space efficient substitutes, I’ve also significantly reduced my wardrobe and have instituted a rule that if I add to my wardrobe, something has to go.  So now I need to just Marie Kondo the hell out of the rest of my stuff, sells some sports cards and some books and I’ll be good.  You can all participate, I have a good supply of my own books to sell, drop me a note, I’ll make you a deal.  While that may not get me back to the old, everything in the Volkswagen days, it’s a good place to be.  I’m hoping to get there in the next couple of months, hopefully by my birthday at the end of August I’ll accomplish this and several other goals I’ve been working on.

No real lesson tonight friends, just a chance to talk about some work I’ve been doing.  And hoping you’re accomplishing the same and having happy days.  ~ Rev Kane

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Good Friends and Getting Older

Good Friends and Getting Older

rev kane, happinessWe can’t avoid age.  However, we can avoid some aging.  Continue to do things. Be active.  Life is fantastic in the way it adjusts to demands; if you use your muscles and mind, they stay there much longer. ~ Charles H Townes

Not so much of a plan for tonight’s piece.  Just an expression of gratitude for the opportunity to interact with a lot of my friends recently.  I’m not a person a who keeps a large circle of friends.  Honestly, there are less than ten people in my life who I would consider close friends.  It’s been a really good week this past week because over that week I got to have a meal with three of them and have a long phone conversation with a fourth.  A couple of these folks I’ve known for thirty-five years, a couple for only five.

Now I know some folks who know me well might argue with my math, I have a large number of acquaintances and colleagues who I’ve known over the years.  I’ve even had a colleague once take great offense at me using the term acquaintance and I get that the term may hurt some people’s feelings.  What I consider to be a good friend is someone who I can call at four in the morning, someone who if I say, I need you here is coming.  You see I’m not someone who asks, I rarely need anything, I solve my own issues and these people know that, and know that if I’m asking, I need them.

happiness, friendsThese are people who I would respond to in the same way.  If they called, if they asked I’m on the move,  I don’t have to ask why, if they ask I go.   I have people in my life who I like and interact with, good people who would come if they could, people who would want to come, but in the end, they likely wouldn’t.  These are the acquaintances, lot’s of them good people, fun people but in the end not someone who I could truly depend on if my back is against the wall, and that’s ok.  I think we do ourselves a disservice if we elevate people in our minds to a level they don’t really exist at.  When we do this we inevitably get disappointed when people’s actions don’t meet our expectations.  That’s why I choose to hold some people, in my mind, as acquaintances who might actually be more.  That decision though, protects us both from disappointment.

But in this past week, having the opportunity to spend time with some of those people who I love and respect the most in this world made this a very happy week.  One of the things we talked about, all of us, was aging.  It’s happening to all of us and it brings with it funny discussions of developing things like old man skin and assorted ailments and hair growths.  Discussions of the limited time we have left and what we’re going to do with it.  Laments over those who have left us or are no longer in our lives.  There are stories, always stories about the times we have shared.

appalachian trail, hiking

Awesome, Backtrack, Rev Kan, and the Kingfisher

I find these opportunities for good conversation to be the most satisfying thing I do.  I would literally trade a week in the arctic photographing polar bears for a couple of long conversations with these people.  As we age, as I move around, I have fewer and fewer opportunities for this type of interaction so they have become utterly precious to me.  Having four in one week made it a precious week.

Pausing in front of a pretty stream on our last day!

Not much advice tonight, not a very well-organized piece but there is a very specific takeaway.  I have become utterly obsessed with a song, it’s called, Come Along by Cosmo Sheldrake, click the link, it’s a lovely 4 minute experience.  I encountered it first in a commercial, you’ll likely recognize the tune.  I’ve come to believe that heaven sounds like this song and smells like Cinnabon and tastes like a great slice of pizza and a coke.  In the song there are a couple of great lines, ” Don’t let moments pass along and pass before your eys,” and “there is no such thing as time to waste or time to throw away.”  Don’t forget that, make the time necessary to be with the people closest to you, it’s important and will bring on many happy days my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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Happiness Resources – Deeper Reading

Happiness Resources – Deeper Reading

happiness, peaceful

Tonight a tour around the web to give you some deeper reading resources on happiness.  Usually we give you smaller pieces that you can read quickly, so tonight some deeper pieces, articles you can sink your teeth into or read while on your commute tomorrow.  Enjoy my friends and have a happy day ~ Rev Kane

 

Love People, Not Pleasure – a really nice piece from the New York Times, Sunday Review

The Science of Happiness – an in-depth piece on Positive Psychology from the Harvard Magazine

There’s More to Life Than Being Happy – A great piece on meaning and happiness from the Atlantic

Lottery Winners vs Accident Victims, Who’s Happier –  long-term study piece from The New Yorker

The Habits of Supremely Happy People – Huffington Post

 

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