Happiness and old friends

Happiness and old friends

“I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar ~ Robert Brault

tubb

So the Reverend is on the road, doing a little southeastern tour for work but also having the opportunity to connect with a lot of people I haven’t seen in some time, it varies, anywhere from two to nearly twenty years.  It has been and will continue to be a good trip.  Spoke with my a long-time friend for the first time in over a year, saw a couple of my former students, dinner tomorrow night with another who I haven’t seen in nearly twenty years.

I’ll get to see some good people I’ve worked with who have become good friends, I even share a birthday with one.  I’ll get to see a couple of ex girlfriends and that has its own special flavor.

Beyond just the good memories and reminiscing there is so much more to reconnecting with meaningful people from your past.  These people are windows into who you were and mirrors to who you are currently.  If they are truly good friends they are true mirrors that show you not just your beauty, but also your faults, and then do the most amazing thing and accept you anyway.  This to me is the truest and most beautiful thing about old friends, you can be the real you warts and all with no fear of rejection.  That makes for relaxing and very good times with the space for good conversation, throw in some good food and life doesn’t get much better.

So I continue my tour in the morning, on to more friends and wish for you that you will be having a similarly happy day my friends.  ~ Rev Kane

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The Wisdom of the Dalai Lama

The Wisdom of the Dalai Lama

Tonight some words of wisdom from the Dalai Lama, enjoy ~ Rev Kane

dalai lama taoism

Satisfaction

We have a largely materialistic lifestyle characterized by a materialistic culture. However, this only provides us with temporary, sensory satisfaction, whereas long-term satisfaction is based not on the senses but on the mind. That’s where real tranquility is to be found. And peace of mind turns out to be a significant factor in our physical health too.

Living a Happy Life

We all want to live a happy life and have a right to do so, whether through work or spiritual practice. I’m subject to destructive emotions like anger and jealousy the same as you, but we all have potential for good too. However, our existing education system is oriented towards material development; neglecting inner values. Consequently we lack a clear awareness of the inner values that are the basis of a happy life

Helping others

It’s in our interest to take care of others. Self-centerdness is opposed to basic human nature. In our own interest as human beings we need to pay attention to our inner values. Sometimes people think compassion is only of help to others, while we get no benefit. This is a mistake. When you concern yourself with others, you naturally develop a sense of self-confidence. To help others takes courage and inner strength.

Compassion

If someone behaves negatively towards you, it helps to remember that he or she is a human being like you and to distinguish between an action and the person who does it. If counter measures are needed to prevent someone doing harm, it’s always better to do it with a calm rather than an agitated mind. If you act out of anger, the best part of your brain fails to function. Remember, compassion is not a sign of weakness

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Happiness and Silence

Happiness & Silence

“When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs. When images become inadequate, I shall be content with silence.”~ Ansel Adams

buddha

Sometimes the universe taps you on the shoulder and say hey, pay attention to this or that concept and it’s important to listen.  That seems to be happening with me right now in relation to the how happiness relates to silence.  So today I did a little surfing and came up with some interesting resources on happiness and silence to share with all of you.

A few months ago I did a 3 day silent retreat, it was really wonderful and as verbal as I am it really was quite easy to accomplish and helped me with working on being more mindful.  Silence, meditation and mindfulness can go a long way to helping all of us have happier days my friends ~ Rev Kane

Silence is the birthplace of happiness ~ Deepak Chopra

Sir Ramana Maharshi’s teachings on silence

Silence is golden for healing ~ Gertrude Lawler

The Art of Silence ~ Psychology Today

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Happiness in a moment of serenity and beauty

Happiness in a moment of serenity and beauty

burning man love

Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is. ~ Thomas Szasz

Our world is hectic, noisy, chaotic and filled with stress, so it is important every day to take a little time and grab a little serenity.  Although I have to admit I can never say the word serenity without thinking about Seinfeld’s episode, Serenity Now!  Today Google did something really amazing for its doodle to commemorate Claude Debussy’s 151st birthday.  Debussy is the composer of Clair de Lune, and if you’re not a big classical music fan the name may sound familiar, but as soon as you hear the tune you’ll know it.  My recommendation is take a few minutes, shut off the lights and bring up Google’s Debussy Doodle and just experience a couple of minutes of beauty and serenity.

I was inspired to do this today after encountering this particular doodle and realized this is something we all need to do each day.  Just find a couple of minutes and let the world slip away and look at or listen to something really beautiful and calming.  The trick here as described in this piece from Help Guide, is to engage your senses, sight, hearing, touch or smell.  Some suggestions from the article that I really like in order to create a little serenity are:

1.  Take some time to look at a favorite photo or painting

2.  Listen to some calming and pleasant music

3.  Buy a desktop fountain and close your eyes and listen to the water

4.  Engage in some aromatherapy from a scent infuser or just a scented candle

5.  Use your touch to hold a cherished item, or wrap yourself in a soft, warm blanket

6.  Take a few minutes to slowly and completely enjoy a cup of tea or a piece of chocolate

7.  Even just take a few minutes and let yourself day-dream

The really important piece to all of this is that you close your office door or find a quite place where you won’t be disturbed.  Take these minutes in relative silence and without interruption and most of all be mindful of the moment and what you are doing.  Most of all while doing this, focus on having a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

Happiness and the Benefits of Gratitude

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Happiness is a Choice

Writing Away the Darkness

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Happiness, focus, planning and goals

Happiness, focus, planning and goals

Maybe your goal is going to Mount Everest

Maybe your goal is going to Mount Everest

Man must search for what is right, and let happiness come on its own.  ~Johann Pestalozzi

So I think we can award tonight’s title as the least exciting title I have ever posted, which of course goes against everything the “blogging gurus” will tell you to do.  Of course the only focus for them is number of hits, they always say, make sure you have quality content, but 90% of those articles are all about getting people to click the title link, regardless of its relevancy to the piece.  But that is not what I’ve ever wanted the Ministry of Happiness Blog to be, this is about helping us all find a little more happiness, not about the number of hits on the blog, so I’ll live with a bit of a boring title.

Tonight I want to talk about one particular aspect of being happier and that is having goals.  These do not have to be Miss America Pageant goals, you know, world peace, ending hunger, or looking really good in a bathing suit.  The goals can be as simple as fewer cups of coffee, making the gym a set number of days each week, or as large as checking off 3 bucket list items this year!  What happens when we don’t have set goals to achieve is that we languish; we start to fall dangerous close to existing instead of living. 

As humans we all need a little fire in our bellies, a little passion in order to truly feel alive, to feel like we have a purpose, this feeling leads to living a happier life.  We all need periodically to sit down and re-examine our lives and see if the goals we have still make sense and make sure we have goals we can be passionate about.  This is personally pretty relevant to me right now, I’d hit a bit of lull in my life as I come upon a milestone.  Very soon I’ll turn 49 and that turns the mind to becoming 50 and identifying if what I’m doing, and if the goals in my life are as relevant as they could be.  So, I’ll be turning to my favorite tool for thinking things through, being fortunate enough to live within a couple of hours of the ocean, I’ll be heading to the coast, to sit and listen to the waves and let my mind work through what it has to.  We all have our own ways and techniques to do this, and there are many more ways to get there,  here’s a piece from the site feelgooder to help out, so take some time, pick you method and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane 

 

 

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Happiness Resources

Happiness Resources, August 4, 2013

massage

Hello my friends, tonight some links from around the web to help you have a happier life ~ Rev Kane

A really great piece on how to do a truly relaxing vacation

How to be happier at work

A little more academic take on who is happiness at work

Increasing happiness day to day, find three good things each day

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Happy News – February 2, 2015

Happy News – February 2, 2015

kindness

I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires. ~ Kahlil Gibran

Our semi-regular tour around the web to give you some readings about happiness, enjoy ~ Rev Kane

Amazing story about people doing random acts of kindness in honor of two young girls who died in an accident.

Story about an Estonian Happiness Bank

A story on the American Pursuit of Happiness

A discussion of happiness from PBS, This Emotional Life

Finally tonight a radio piece from This American Life on the Pursuit of Happiness

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Deng Ming-Dao on Beginnings

Deng Ming-Dao on Beginnings

We talk a lot at the Ministry of Happiness about our journey toward happiness, it’s the beginning of the year and new day for all of us and for some that journey is a new beginning. Here is a piece from Deng Ming-Dao on starting out, good advice no matter what the journey is, have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Beginning

This is the moment of embarking
All auspicious signs are in place

In the beginning, all things are hopeful. We prepare ourselves to start anew. Though we may be intent on the magnificent journey ahead, all things are contained in this first moment: our optimism, our faith, our resolutions, our innocence.

In order to start, we must make a decision. This decision is a commitment to daily self-cultivation. We must make a strong connection to our inner selves. Outside matters are superfluous. Alone and naked, we negotiate all of life’s travails. Therefore, we alone must make something of ourselves, transforming ourselves into the instruments for experiencing the deepest spiritual essence of life.

Once we make our decision, all things will come to us. Auspicious signs are not a superstition, but a confirmation. They are a response. It is said that if one chooses to pray to a rock with enough devotion, even that rock will come alive. In the same way, once we choose to commit ourselves to spiritual practice, even the mountains and valleys will reverberate to the sound of our purpose.

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Happiness & following your arrow to yourself

It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell. ~ Buddha

 

Z Deacon Blue

When my arrow pointed to Mt. Everest

There is a new singer whose music I like quite a bit her name is Kasey Musgraves and there is a song on her album entitled Follow Your Arrow.

I like the idea behind the song, that you only have one life to live so be who you are and don’t worry about what others think, because if someone wants to think ill of you they will regardless of what you do or who you try to be.  Great advice and something I’ve written about before here at the ministry.

Today though I want to take the idea of following your own arrow in a slightly different direction.  You see sometimes our arrows point in the wrong direction.  The world can get to you, I recently talked about a bad month I’ve had, and when it does your arrow can point down the well.  When it does, you need to reboot, very much like when your computer freezes up if your arrow is pointing the wrong way reboot it.

So how do you do this?  First, you need to make sure you’ve felt and dealt with whatever is happening to you, whether it’s anger, disappointment or grief.  Truly feel what has happened to you, let it wash over you, do what you have to do to get closure.  The worst thing you can do is avoid feeling what has happened to you, suppressing emotions and bottling them up is a sure recipe for an explosion or meltdown later when you least expect and can afford for it to happen.

Once you’ve gotten closure the best way to reboot is to take a couple of days and shut out the world as best you can.  Take a down day or two to be mindful all day, to be quiet, leave the television and the radio off, read, swim, take a walk or work in the garden.  Do something most of us never make time for, take a nap, hell regress to kindergarten and have milk and cookies before your nap.

Personally I like to fast for a couple of days over this period and literally try to reset my body and my mind.  I know a lot of you will say, I’m too busy or sheesh try this when you have three kids running around.  However, this is not something to take lightly, when you need this, you need to find a way to make this happen.  What good are you to your partner, friends, family, your children if you are running at half speed and just running down.  How quickly will you snap at people and be unavailable if you having fully recovered yourself.  So find a way, get someone to watch the kids, go to a hotel room for a day or two, whatever it takes.

I’ve just finished a reboot myself over the holiday weekend.  For the Fourth of July I took three days to fast, to shut out the world, to recharge myself.  I didn’t do much, some reading, some writing, I watched some movies, watered the garden, obsessed about food a bit more than I would like but mostly I rested both my mind and my body, I took a lot of naps.  I’ve just broken my fast with a couple of veggie burgers and am looking forward to having a tomato and some basil from the garden with some good mozzarella cheese, balsamic vinegar and oil for dinner.  I nice quiet meal to end my reboot.

Tomorrow it’s back to the routine hopefully with more energy and positivity than I’ve had for the last couple of weeks. Looking forward to getting the wheels moving again and being more of myself and of course, to having happy days my friends, hope you have some too.   ~ Rev Kane

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Videos on Happiness

Videos on Happiness

happiness

 

I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires. ~ Khalil Gibran

 

Graham Hill: Less stuff more happiness (5:50)

Happiness and it’s Surprises: Nancy Etcoff (14:22)

Can happiness be bought? A TED talk by Benjamin Wallace (14:36)

A TED talk by Chip Conley: Measuring what makes life worthwhile (17:39)

Carl Honore: In praise of slowness (19:18)

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