Happy Halloween – Part 1

Posted on October 8, 2023 by Michael Kane

So I decided to have some fun this October and watch a horror film every day for the thirty days leading up to Halloween. And I’ve decided to share my thoughts on each film here on the blog. Maybe you’ll find a new film to watch, maybe I’ll save you from watching a bad one. I’m not a huge horror movie fan, but of all of the thousands of horror movies that have been made, there are certainly some very good ones, hoping my choices pan out to be good ones.

  1. The Exorcist (1973) – For me this is the original horror flick. Sure there were certainly other horror movies before this one, but this was my most vivid memory. The film came out when I was nine, I didn’t see it til some time later. But my mom went to see it in the theater, I remember because she made a fateful dinner choice that night, she made split pea soup.

I hadn’t seen the Exorcist in a really long time and the first thing that struck me watching it was the incredible cinematography in the beginning of the film, the scenes shot in Iraq, those initial scenes were filmed by Billy Williams and are truly spectacular. This is a great film, great cast, great direction, and at the time it was released unbelievable shock value. This film is a legitimate R rated film, there are scenes that absolutely shouldn’t be seen by children. A great way to start my horror movie journey.

2. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) – This movie terrified me when it came out and watching it now, I have no idea why. I really didn’t remember as much about it as I thought, it’s badly acted and written and features Johnny Depp in his first role. A tad bit of nostalgia but I’d skip it for something else.

3. Don’t look now (1973) – I picked this movie for two reasons, first it’s on every list of great horror movies and secondly, I’ve never seen it. The movie is best known for the controversial sex scene with Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie, scandalous by 1973 standards, fifty years later, not so much. It’s a well shot film, and it’s one of those film school, film critic loved films. So, as usual for those type of films, it’s a bit boring, not really all that scary. It’s known for recurring themes and the psychological aspects of the film. If you’re really into technical film and dissecting and analyzing movies, it’s a good one, if not, it’s more than a bit slow.

4. The Babadook (2014) – Another movie on all of the best horror movie lists. This film starts slow and for the first half it’s a pretty typical set up for a horror film. You think you know where this one is going and honestly I was on my phone a bit playing out the string. Then it started to ramp up, then it kicked into high gear and turned into a bit of a twisting roller coaster. While this movie didn’t necessarily scare me, it is a very unique and well made horror film, definitely worth checking out and definitely intense.

5. Hereditary (2018) – I was really looking forward to this one, I’d heard it was fantastic, it’s on a bunch of best horror lists and it stars Toni Collette who I absolutely love. What a damn disappointment! Honestly, it’s disjointed and frankly kind of boring. It’s a huge pass recommendation from me.

6. Jeepers Creepers (2001) – I freakin love this movie, I remember the first time I saw it, I found it to be really intense, it helped that it was during a bout of insomnia and I first watched it at about 3AM, but it got to me the first time. I like this movie because it has a coherent story, does a nice job of foreshadowing and plays every horror trope. There’s some jump cuts, scary car sequences, dead bodies, a crazy cat lady, a crazy psychic lady, weird townspeople, disbelieving cops, a high school urban legend and a seriously freaking creepy monster. If you’re looking for an enjoyable horror film, this should definitely be on the list.

7. Poltergeist (1982) – How could I not love this film, it came out my senior year of high school, it’s got a great cast, great performances and the cutest, creepiest little girl in film history, “their heeeeeeeere…” Throw in an old built over cemetery and the perfect actresses in all of horror films, Zelda Rubinstein. And finally of course, the Poltergeist series of films is centered around the creepiest dude in all of film, my namesake, Reverend Kane.

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Back to the Madness on Monday

Posted on October 1, 2023 by Michael Kane

Hello friends, I’ve been on vacation for the last two weeks which explains the lack of posts. I haven’t been back to see my family for an extended trip for almost four years. About two years ago I made a quick appearance at a couple of celebrations that were bookends on brief beach vacation to Rhode Island, so I was due to visit and spend some time. And it’s back to the work madness on Monday!

If you read this blog regularly you know that across my siblings I have a gaggle of nieces and nephews from ages four to twenty-one. They were of course the primary focus of my trip and led to a lot of happy moments. I had promised to take my twelve year-old niece for her first sushi experience and it was wonderful. She was incredibly adventurous, at one point reminding me that we didn’t order the octopus. She did great and really enjoyed the experience. The sushi place was across the street from the candy store owned by the actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Negan on the Walking Dead and my oldest niece is a huge fan. Unfortunately he wasn’t there, but the candy was delicious.

A milestone was hit on this trip, for the first time one of my nephews is actually taller than me, given I was 5’6″ when I graduated high school and am just under 5’11” now, I’m excited for him. My other nephew, about the same height, is also bigger than me, I’m quickly losing ground to the munchkins. My two youngest nephews are absolute madmen and I love them madly, they’re still at the age where we can rough house with each other. My littlest niece, four years-old, legitimately beat me at a video game, multiple times which she thoroughly enjoyed. She’s the boss she reminded me repeatedly and is about as stubborn and she is adorable. She also completely melted my heart. I brought her a snow globe, and she told me, “when I miss you, I shake the snow globe and look at it, then I don’t miss you so much.” Her parents are in so much trouble with her.

I did the family rounds and everyone is doing well, it was good to have some time with everyone and a scheduling miracle that it worked out. On the friend side it was much crazier, some were out of town, some were busy, and three different friends had health issues including coming down with COVID. But I did get to have dinner and coffee with a couple of old friends, including a couple of old geezers I’ve known for over 50 years.

I timed it well, it was a beautiful week in New York, sunny and warm for fall and absolutely beautiful. If you’ve seen the news, the very same places I was at last week have been drowned with rain this week.

I had some time do the things that I miss in New York, while in Brooklyn at one point, I had pizza for five straight meals. I don’t know if I could possibly make you understand how much I miss really good New York pizza. A shout out to My Little Pizzeria in Brooklyn Heights, really good pizza, if you’re in the area definitely check it out.

My Little Pizzeria - Court Street, Brooklyn
Obligatory slice shot, My Little Pizzeria – Court Street, Brooklyn

Spent the last night in the town I grew up in, and it was one of the type of days I absolutely love in the fall in the northeast. It was a warm, lightly raining day followed by a clear warm evening. A perfect night to walk the city streets I grew up on and take a few shots.

My hometown honors veterans this time of year on the main street with posters featuring veterans who grew up there. There are a group of four brothers who were WW2 veterans featured at the top of the street. Three of them are my great uncles:

The fourth is my grandfather who we lost in 1969, I named him POW as a toddler, perfect photo to be the last one I took in town, kind of brought things full circle.

And to perfectly round out the trip, my farewell NY slices at JFK.

Have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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Every Second Counts

Posted on September 18, 2023 by Michael Kane
love more fear less
Love more Fear less

And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. ~ Abraham Lincoln

Every Second Counts

There is a show on FX called, The Bear, it was a runaway hit last summer in it’s first season. The second season came out to great fanfare and I recently watched it. Forgive me for a brief review of the show on the way to my point tonight. I loved the first season of the show, it was fun and absolutely had an underdog feel to it, the main character, totally flawed, is someone you really want to pull for to be successful. It was a high energy rush of good TV. The second season started out really slow, a few episodes in I started thinking the show hit the typical breakout sophomore slump. I was writing and so I kept watching, the next couple of episodes were higher energy but more of the same. The writers were doing an excellent job of exploring the individual characters, but it felt like a letdown after the first season. Then it started to turn, threads started to come together, there’s no shock where the story is going and that might have been part of what left me unimpressed initially. The last several episodes are magnificent, including an Emmy worthy performance by Jamie Lee Curtis. And let me beg a second apology for another turn not on point tonight.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Chelsea Lauren/Shutterstock (12862761bj) Jamie Lee Curtis 94th Annual Academy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA – 27 Mar 2022

I have come to love Jamie Lee Curtis, from a nepotistic lead into the industry, she’s the daughter of Janet Leigh and Tony Curtis, to horror movie scream queen of one of the first horror movie franchise Halloween. She’s a beautiful woman, and with a great figure got roles based seemingly on those two traits. There were some good roles, I’m a fan of the movie and her performance in True Lies. In Hollywood, actresses like Jamie Lee Curtis, once they get a bit older and don’t resemble their 20 something selves, roles start to dry up. A lot of actresses lament this, many unfortunately turn to high levels of cosmetic procedures, it’s unfortunate. But I love how Jamie Lee Curtis has addressed this, she’s come at it straight out. For the film Everything, Everywhere all at Once, she insisted they not hide her age. No girdle to tighten up her mid-section, no extreme make-up but generally let the character reflect her 63 year-old self. She’s really great in the film. It was much the same in season 2 of The Bear. She plays a mother with fully grown children, her performance is powerful, intense and emotional, it will flat out break your heart. Here’s a woman who has embraced her age, and over her career has developed her craft to an incredible level, hopefully Hollywood is watching and awards her appropriately, back to the main road.

There is a phrase that underlies the entire second season of The Bear, every second counts. And watching the show that phrase really resonated with me and it’s what I want to talk about tonight. That very simple idea that we live once and we need to make the most of it. There is also something subtle that’s buried in that phrase, the idea of mindfulness, living in and focusing on the moment. This idea also loops back to my post from last week, It’s All About Love. Becoming happier is about learning how to tie these two ideas together. First, knowing and giving your time and focus to those you love, that act brings you both, but really brings them, happiness. Second, understanding and focusing on how precious every single second is kicks up the importance and impact of that time. So it’s not just about making and giving your time, but the second level is about being completely in those moments. This idea, and mindfulness in general, is a really simple and powerful idea, and I can illustrate it this way. When you read a child a story, you have to be completely there, doing character voices, asking and answering questions, being emotionally in sync with their emotions. You can’t be thinking about work and bills and just reading the words, it’s just not the same thing.

So my advice tonight, to follow on from my post last week, making people happy, and by reflection increasing your own happiness, is a matter of giving them your time and attention, but just not that. It’s about giving them your time and attention while being fully there with them, in the moment, making every second count. ~ Rev Kane

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Happiness, It’s All About Love

Posted on September 11, 2023 by Michael Kane

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. ~ Lao Tzu

I’ve been writing a blog on Happiness now for over thirteen years. As I’ve talked about many times, I was not always someone who could even conceive of calling myself happy. But I’ve done the work and now, generally consider myself a happy person. It doesn’t mean I don’t have my down times, it doesn’t mean I don’t face stress and troubles just like everyone else. What it does mean is that I’ve been able to find ways to move past these things, and not let them derail my overall happiness.

Over the time I’ve been writing this blog I’ve written about a myriad of things that I hope, have been able to help people live happier lives. These have ranged from physical and mental wellness, to mindfulness to removing negative impacts and at times people, from their lives. All of these things are helpful, and you can read a hundred books on happiness, go see a dozen speakers and in the end, for me, it all comes down to one thing, love.

When I say it comes down to love, I don’t mean just the grand gestures of love, or the everyday demonstrations, but all of it. At least all of the acts that are truly done with love in your heart. I often take heat from folks because I don’t finish every interaction by saying love you, but if that phrase becomes a rote and thoughtless ending to every interaction, it no longer feels meaningful to me. I’ve heard people who use the phrase so often they actually slip up and say it at work to a colleague because it had become such a habit. Habitual statements are not a demonstration of love, but often to me seem to be said out of fear that your last words with someone won’t be perfect, fear does not bring happiness.

Fear is a liar

Happiness comes from acts of true love. One of the greatest acts of love I’ve ever received came from my good friend Kara. At what was certainly the lowest point of my life, she was simply there, from thousands of miles away, she simply made a phone call each day and listened. That simple act got me through hell, and I’ll be forever indebted to her. She is simply one of the nicest and most loving humans I know. She shows her love in the simplest ways, a simple message, a statement or just the actual pleasure and joy she shows when we meet, that is the kind of love that brings happiness.

Often the small acts bring the most happiness, last year, my little cousin 3D printed some car jeep toys to try and sell them. Seeing this, I bought a set from him, the opportunity to make him a little happy by giving him a sale, and the ability for me to gift them to the children at my college’s child center to bring them a bit of happiness. The other day in the center, six months after I gave them the little car duckies as they called them, the children were excitedly talking about them to me. The love for my cousin’s child, gifted in toys has spread incredible happiness and connection. This is how it’s done my friends and it was a very simple thing.

I’m very much a loner, but even loners have community. And the love shared within this community is how we create happiness in community. Don’t spend time looking for the grand and amazing gestures, certainly grab them if the opportunity presents themselves. But work for the small and meaningful things on a consistent basis. Cook someone’s favorite meal, gift some cupcakes for no reason, return phone calls and emails, be willing to just listen. This is even more important when dealing with children, it’s not the toys or the trips to Disney that give them long-term happiness, it’s the simplest of things, your time and attention. Just sitting with them, listening to their stories, reading to them, sneaking them a treat or giving a small present, this is what has the greatest impact because your time and attention are of the greatest value. And it’s truly the same with adults. What demonstrates your love more than anything, what brings happiness more than anything, is your time and attention, choosing to share our limited time with someone is a tremendous gift and will make for happier days for all of us my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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Scratch it with your mind

Posted on September 3, 2023 by Michael Kane

Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset. ~ St. Francis de Sales

So over the last thirty years I have taken up meditating a dozen times. I like what it does, it takes some work for me, but there are definite benefits. But it seems that it’s also something I can easily get out of the habit of doing fairly easily. Well I’ve taken up meditating again, each night before I go to bed. Meditation definitely helps me sleep better and is one of the main reasons I return to it, again and again.

As with most things that I do, I try and read up on it, get some deeper insight into how best to do things. So I was reading an informative piece on meditation and it came up with a question, what do I do if my nose itches? The answer was of course you can scratch it, but first, try to scratch it with your mind. This completely pissed me off, I mean seriously, scratch it with your mind? I saw some amazing things when I was studying Qigong. Things that I could not easily scientifically explain. The most basic one was during our Tai Chi training our instructor would bring two scales to class. Before we practiced our forms he would have us step on the scales. Now two scales means that if you weigh 180 pounds, each scale should read 90 pounds. But inevitably it didn’t, people are unbalanced most of the time in the most fundamental sense. So you’d get on the scale and they would be 92/88 or even 95/85. Then we would do our Qigong exercises and practice our Tai Chi forms for the hour and then he’d have us step back on the scale and they would be 90/90 every time, actual physical evidence of the change that had occurred.

Sure, it’s likely related to tension in the body altering and inhibiting blood flow on one side of the body and the exercises and forms releasing the tension to even things out, but it was a pretty spectacular demonstration. Impressive yes, magic no, but still pretty damn cool. But Tai Chi and Qigong are not Jedi mindtricks you’re not using the force, so the line scratch it with your mind just seem to be the infusion of a lot of new age, hippie dippy horseshit and it annoyed the hell out of me.

Then the fact that it annoyed me so much got me thinking, why is this irritating me so much? And I realized that this was a tension deep in myself that I needed to address. I’ve been under a lot of stress at work over the last six or eight months and it has, to use a highly scientific term, made me prone to being cranky. I’ve been way too reactive to everything good and bad, I need to release this tension. And bam, like that I’ve got a very focused idea to use in my meditations each night. So I’ve been working on letting things go, an eternal battle for harmony that we all undertake. The nice thing about being older, is that it’s not my first rodeo and I have the tools to work on this. It’s part of the reason that one of the ways that I celebrated my birthday for the last couple of weeks was to really shutdown for a week and slowly start coming back to my routines.

Those few days of giving myself permission to do nothing and not holding myself to account for doing nothing was a great start. I’ve been able to reduce my reactions over the last couple of weeks. Not letting the idiots in traffic, or in line at the grocery or even at work set me off. Don’t get me wrong, I still speak up for myself, I’ll never be a doormat, but I’m reducing my reactivity. Which in return seems to be reducing my stress and no great surprise, I’m sleeping better.

My sleep routine that has been evolving for a time is now pretty well dialed in and seems to be working for me. Since I’ve gotten into the groove with this little routine I haven’t had a bout of insomnia, hoping I didn’t just jinx myself. But it’s pretty simple, being good about shutting down my work on electronics (laptop, phone) about a half hour before bed. Doing some back and other stretches and wrapping that all up so I can watch a little TV for 30 minutes with no other lights. Then, right before bed, five to ten minutes on my meditation cushion meditating. After that, in bed, reading a chapter of whatever my current book is before shutting everything down. Finally, I use two white noise machines to distract my mind as I lay down. This little routine seems to allow me to fall asleep pretty quickly and it’s been consistently working.

The point of this post is not an exposition on sleep routines or meditation practices, or even how to help yourself become less stressed and reactive. What it’s really about it paying attention to those things that irritate you. Dig deeper into them, because there’s a reason for why they are particularly irritating, there is something deeper there that you should dig out, you’re pscyche is screaming something at your conscious mind, but as your psyche often will, it doesn’t quite send the information in a straight forward fashion. So my friends, take some time to think about those irritations, and scratch them with your mind. ~ Rev Kane

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Looking Back at 59 Years

Posted on August 28, 2023 by Michael Kane

Don’t adventures ever have an end? I suppose not. Someone else always has to carry on the story. ~ JRR Tolkein

Looking back at 59 years

You know turning 40 didn’t bother me, turning 50 didn’t bother me, but I have to admit 60 is getting to me a little bit, but I had a good birthday for 59.

On Thursday, my assistant and a faculty member took me out to one of my favorite local places for lunch. It was a lovely day and a lovely lunch. Thursday night a friend asked me what I was doing for my birthday and in fact, I had no plans. So giving it some thought I decided that since the weather reports looked good, I’d do a whale watch out of Moss Landing on Monterey Bay with Sanctuary Cruises, I’ve been doing whale watches with them for over 20 years.

I definitely found some luck on my birthday weekend, pulled a $100 scratcher ticket and there were open seats on the whale watch. We had a gorgeous day on the bay, even got a little bit of a sunburn through my SPF 50. The temperatures were great, the seas were calm and a whole lot of marine friends decided to show up for my birthday. As we were cruising out we encountered a pod of over 2000 long-beaked common dolphins and we stayed on them for about an hour. We had dolphins everywhere, riding the bow, jumping and frolicking in every imaginable direction.

We then moved on to a couple of different groups of humpback whales and one group was particularly fun. They were obviously diving to feed and a full raft of about 200 sea lions were also chasing and feeding on the same bait ball. Both the whales and sea lions would dive at the same time, diving down and raiding the anchovy school. We’d know when and where the whales would come up as the sea lions would surface blowing and gasping for air right before the whales.

We would see a total of eleven humpback whales, several of them did full body breaches and one lovely tail lob. At one point the dolphin super pod, five whales, all of the sea lions and flocks of birds were all feeding in the exact same spot, it was an amazing display of nature.

I’ve spent this week eating very freely, not worrying about my various conditions or diet. Which meant I’ve been doing a lot of cooking, wrapping up the week this evening by making a big pot of gumbo, with some fry bed topped with maple syrup for dessert. Writing this made me just go and have another bowl.

I’ve also been reflecting this week on my life, a combination of approaching sixty and retirement (17 months, 4 days, but who’s counting). So tonight I want to revisit some of the amazing things I’ve done over my journey. Yes, I’ve been lucky to do these things, but it’s not all about luck, there’s a lot of planning and determination in making these things happen. And they don’t always work out, I’ve just failed at getting a trip to Antarctica set up for December.

I’ve always been a bucket lister, I make and keep a list of 100 things I want to do before I die. So tonight I want to reflect back on some of them and some other big things that have happened in my life.

My first adventure in life, due to the kindness of a work colleague of my mother’s was a trip to Disney World. It was my first plane flight, Eastern Airlines – Albany to Orlando. It was my first dinner at a fine restaurant, Limey Jim’s. I remember being fascinated by the sommelier. It kicked off well, our first day and night in Orlando was at a hotel outside Disney and happened to also be where the Junior Miss America pageant contestants were staying. Talk about heaven for a 14 year-old boy, still my favorite day ever at a pool, I was the only male within 20 years of their age. It was also an amazing time staying at a hotel within Disney, a fabulous experience.

Since then I’ve traveled a lot, I’ve done all 50 states and about 20 countries. I’ve done the Burning Man Festival 8 times, I’ve photographed Polar Bears in the Arctic, hiked in the high passes of the Himalayas in Nepal, had an anaconda swim through my legs in the Amazon, wandered the old city of Marakesh hiked across Scotland, literally fell in love with the woman of my dreams and had her fall in love with me, then had her break my heart and make me lose my mind, only to find out that I have one of the most amazing friends imaginable who helped me hold myself together. I’ve walked a thousand miles on the Appalachian Trail, I’ve published three books, written over 2000 blog posts and a number of scientific papers. I’ve spoken at conferences as a presenter and a keynote at one point speaking to an audience of over 1000 people. I’ve hugged an 80,000 pound Grey Whale!

I’ve met some of the most amazing people on my adventures, people who live full-time in the Amazon forest, former French Foreign Legion soldiers, deep ops special forces, an actual assassin. I’ve had the absolute honor of becoming friends with several Sherpa and the variety of weirdos and fantastic humans I’ve met on hiking trails and in the desert at Burning Man has truly been spectacular.

I’ve also had a series of experiences I honestly can’t talk about publicly, including things like accidentally becoming an international drug smuggler. More than anything else about my life, I can say I’ve rarely if ever been bored. I have eight nieces and nephews I dearly love and soon will be living closer to all of them.

What’s next is really the big question and one I’ll no doubt be writing about here. I hope you’re having an amazing life my friends, but if not, find the will, make the plan, have that adventure, we only do this once. ~ Rev Kane

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Happiness is a Blustery Day

Posted on August 21, 2023 by Michael Kane

Don’t underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the thing you can’t hear, and not bothering. ~ AA Milne

Sorry to the desert folks who got drenched and those who have suffered in the flooding. But thank you Hurricane Hillary for giving me my favorite kind of day. What kind of day, a blustery day, if you’re not familiar with the term I refer you to my favorite meteorological text – Winnie the Pooh and The Blustery Day.

Gray skies, cool breezes with intermittent blasts of forceful wind, and the occasional light shower. Following the hottest day of the year here it’s a very welcome day.

And it’s on my work from home day, so I can sit on my balcony in the tiny garden and work out in the middle of it all.

This is simply one of those days where I’m able to identify and enjoy one of the simple pleasures in life, hope you’re having a similar day friends. ~ Rev Kane

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A Happy Sunday

Posted on August 20, 2023 by Michael Kane

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you! ~ Dr. Suess

A Happy Sunday

My birthday is coming up and so I started celebrating a little bit early. I decided that the way I’d celebrate this year is with a series of really good meals. I started this weekend with stuffed shells and Italian Sausage then moved on to a baked ham with potatoes au gratin. I’ve been finishing off meals with a root beer float, a warm up for the fact that I’ll be brewing my own root beer for the first time this week.

This past week was the first week of our semester and it was madness top to bottom. During the week we had state inspector visits, a loss of course accreditation, I found out another program is two years late on completing their testing accreditation, I had the standard rash of incredibly stupid questions, and actions taken by folks with graduate degrees that blow my mind that they happen. Ended the week with a COVID exposure that included me and showing up to two classes, only to find the teachers gave them an outside assignment, so they were getting paid for not teaching, nice work if you can get it. Which of course means that I will have to deal with a lot on Monday.

But Monday is still next week until after I sleep tonight, so today the celebration continues on and what a lovely day it’s been so far. I woke up and grabbed a cup of tea out on my patio in the tiny garden, admiring my tomatoes, cucumbers, squash and sunflowers. Sipping a cup of mint tea (boosted with some fresh mint from the garden) while the hummingbirds buzz in and out of the newly filled feeder. Yesterday afternoon, the red-throated male that considers the feeder his, sat on a branch just off the patio and trilled at me incessantly because I’d let the feeder run out. So I refilled it, begged his forgiveness and it’s been a buzzing feeding station since.

Ham and potatoes au gratin leftovers with a root beer float chaser while watching the reply of the Steeler preseason game where they played exceedingly well. All in all a lazy happy Sunday, my biggest concern today, writing this post and figuring out what the next great meal is going to be tonight for dinner. At the moment it’s a contest between making chicken Tikka Masala or a homemade pizza. I think I’ll take a walk by the ocean and figure it out. So happy birthday to me a little bit early and here’s hoping you all have a lovely and happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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Taking the pressure off

Posted on August 14, 2023 by Michael Kane

He who is of calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age, but to him who is of an opposite disposition youth and age are equally a burden. ~ Plato

Last week I wrote a bit about fun and play, it’s really been on my mind lately. Aging is hell, the problem with mortality is of course, mortality. As you age, you can start to feel like you’re running out of time to do all of the things you want to do, to experience, all of the time you want to spend with the people you love. If you let yourself dwell on this, and my friends I certainly do, it can create a tremendous amount of pressure as you ask yourself, am I making the best use of my limited time?

The problem with pressure, is sometimes, instead of pushing you harder to do more, it can become overwhelming and cause you to freeze. I’m someone who has always taken pride in the fact that I’m really good under pressure. From being good on exams as a student, to playing well in important games as an athlete or handling home life responsibilities at a way too young age, I’ve always been good under pressure. And I’ve been tested in other ways as well, I’ve had knives and guns pulled on me, been shot at twice and I was able to function incredibly well in those circumstance. I’ve also handled some medical emergencies in my time as a resident assistant.

Life has certainly thrown me a set of challenges, at one point I was an alcoholic and an addict, I’ve attempted suicide and suffered through years of deep depression, but I’ve fought through all of it. In fact, at this point in my life things are pretty good, there are no monumental problems to overcome, well except mortality and no one has pulled that one as far as we know.

Through the pandemic I fell into a state of languishing, I was really excited to find out there was a term for it. And honestly it took until about six months ago before I really had fully come out of that state of mind. However lately, even though I’ve been back to my normal, multi-tasking productive self, something has not been quite right. I’ve felt under incredible pressure and I think I finally figured it out. As I discussed in the first paragraph, I’m feeling the pressure of mortality at a level that has kind of locked me up and it’s coming from me. The answer is fun and play.

I am someone who tends toward being solitary, and while that’s a comfortable state for me, human’s are social animals. The pandemic, the structure of my job, and my natural proclivity has led to me being a bit more socially isolated than I should be, and this has led to me having less fun. I’ve unfortunately stopped doing the things that bring me joy and that has to change, I’ve gotten locked into this idea that I need to be more productive, to use every minute better.

So what am I going to do about this? First, I have to take the pressure off, stop worrying about being productive every weekend. This weekend was a start, I allowed myself to skip a couple of workouts, I ate a few meals that I shouldn’t and I kicked back and watched some pre-season football and finally, a couple of good movies that were films I knew would fully encompass my mind so that I could be solely focused on the film. I’m pushing for less multi-tasking and distraction, more mindfulness. And overall, just to enjoy myself more, so this means more photography, more time at the ocean, more walking tours in San Francisco, more travel and anyone who knows me well knows, more pizza.

So my friends, we need to be productive, we need to focus on what and who is important in our lives. But we need to be childlike and have fun, it all leads to happier days my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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Embracing Fun and Play: The Path to Happiness

Posted on August 8, 2023 by Michael Kane

Even though you’re growing up, you should never stop having fun. ~ Nina Dobrev

Embracing Fun and Play: The Path to Happiness

I’ve been thinking a lot about fun and play recently, likely because I’m having very little of either.  But fun and play and important components in our happiness. 

We all seek joy and contentment in our lives, and one of the most powerful ways to unlock this elusive emotion is through play. Play is an inherent aspect of human nature, often associated with carefree laughter and exploration. However, it is the infusion of fun into play that becomes a catalyst for happiness.

As children, we are experts in the art of play. From imaginative games to carefree outdoor adventures, play comes naturally to us. Yet, as we grow older, the weight of responsibilities and societal expectations often suppresses the playful spirit within us. Rediscovering the essence of play entails embracing fun as a core element. It is through fun that we tap into our creativity, spontaneity, and child-like wonder, igniting a sense of happiness that is unparalleled.

Incorporating fun into play releases endorphins, commonly known as the “feel-good” hormones. These neurochemicals promote a sense of euphoria and pleasure, effectively reducing stress and anxiety. Engaging in playful activities, whether it be sports, board games, or simply goofing around with friends, allows us to escape the pressures of daily life and embrace mindfulness. In these moments, the mind shifts its focus from worries to the present, fostering a state of relaxation and emotional well-being.

Fun-filled play acts as a powerful social glue, connecting individuals and creating lasting bonds. Sharing laughter and joy with others reinforces positive emotions and fosters a sense of belonging. When we engage in playful activities with friends, family, or even strangers, we build camaraderie, trust, and empathy, all of which are essential components of happiness and social harmony.

Fun and play are gateways to creativity and imagination. Whether it’s playing make-believe, solving puzzles, or engaging in artistic endeavors, the element of fun encourages us to think outside the box and explore uncharted territories. This uninhibited exploration enhances problem-solving skills, broadens perspectives, and nurtures our innate creativity. As we tap into this boundless realm of imagination, a sense of fulfillment and happiness emerges.

Contrary to the belief that play is solely a frivolous activity, scientific research has shown that fun in play is instrumental in developing and maintaining cognitive abilities. Playful activities stimulate different parts of the brain, improving memory, attention span, and cognitive flexibility. In turn, this boosts mental acuity and fosters a sharper, more focused mind. A well-engaged mind is a happy mind, eager to embrace life’s challenges with enthusiasm.

In a world that often emphasizes productivity and seriousness, we must not overlook the significance of fun in play as a pathway to happiness. Embracing playfulness and infusing fun into our lives is not a luxury but a necessity for our well-being. By engaging in enjoyable activities, we unleash a wave of positive emotions, reduce stress, strengthen social connections, and enhance our cognitive capacities.

So, let’s make a conscious effort to incorporate play and fun into our daily routines. Whether it’s a game night with friends, dancing like no one’s watching, or indulging in a hobby we love, let’s remember that happiness resides in the moments when we allow ourselves to play and have fun. In these moments, we rediscover the joy of being alive and truly embrace the essence of what it means to be human and to have happy days my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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