Happiness is love and unconventional wisdom

Happiness is love and unconventional wisdom

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. ~ Lao Tzu

Love pse

Originally posted January, 2014

So tonight friends let’s talk about love.  Recently I saw something that I found quite interesting it was a piece discussing the difference between healthy and unhealthy love.

This was one of those brief pieces that tells us that healthy love is adult love, the kind of mature, in control and responsible love that you grow into like an old pair of shoes, dependable and comfortable.  They use the example of love like a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup on a rainy day.  Now that is a beautiful dose of conventional wisdom and if you are unique just like everyone else it will probably fit you like Cinderella’s proverbial slipper.

If you read our site closely you’ll see that this is The Church of Abnormal Acceptance and its Ministry of Happiness.  The name of the church was chosen carefully, we offer acceptance, over the internet as part of our services, the idea that no matter who you are, what you’re into we don’t care.  We only care about helping you be a happier person.  Why you might ask would we be so accepting?  In a word experience, in my time here on Earth I have noticed that average doesn’t exist, we’re all in our own way freaks in one way or another.  Hell some of us in three or four ways.  This observation is never as sharp as it is on the playa at the Burning Man Festival.  The beauty of Burning Man is that it provides a dissolution of normal, it no longer exists and the test is quite simple.  At Burning Man if you slowly rotate 360 degrees carefully observing all you see, I assure you, you will never be the biggest freak.  It drives home the idea that we’re all freaks and as such we had better be accepting of freaks, because just like the freaks we see, the freak we are needs to be loved and accepted for who we are inside and out.

So throw conventional wisdom on love, on acceptance, hell on most things out the window.  I’ll come back to the piece I referenced on healthy and unhealthy love.  Healthy, adult, mature, grilled cheese love might work for you; it might be exactly what you need in your life to be utterly fulfilled and happy.  However the freak in me needs a little more unhealthy love in his life, some jalapenos on his grilled cheese, some fresh basil and garlic in his tomato soup.  They described unhealthy love as being powerless with no boundaries, like a drug.  Well I like a little excitement in my love, a little insanity, maybe it’s not healthy, but neither are chocolate chip cookies and ice cream but they make me happy.  So find out what you need to be happy, and don’t let anyone else tell you it’s not what you need, find it, get it and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

Our Best Happiness Posts of 2015

Why I’m Happy Right Now!

My favorite Appalachian Trail Photos of 2015

How Travel Makes You Happier

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

 

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Happiness is a fruit tree

Happiness is a fruit tree

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A life without love is like a tree without fruit ~ Kahlil Gibran

Originally published June, 2014

So tonight friends a piece about my garden, specifically my fruit trees.  You see I’m incredibly excited about the fact that I have plums ripening on the tree in the picture above.  To brag just a bit, I also have lemons ripening and seven, that’s right SEVEN golden delicious apples on the tree.  I have been a gardener since I was very young, my mother had me in the garden growing vegetables when I was about five years old.  I love vegetable gardening and seem to have an inherit knack for it, something that brings me great happiness.  There is nothing better than eating food you have grown and even more so, my absolute favorite, home grown tomatoes.

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My grandpa Kane

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My grandfather, pictured above, also played a pivotal role in my love of gardening.  He loved growing tomatoes and roses, a love he shared and passed on to me.  He was a brilliant teacher, the way he got me to help plant roses was by pointing out that the first thing you do when growing roses is to go fishing.  As a kid I loved to fish, so he had me absolutely hooked.  We would put the fish we caught in the hole to fertilize the roses.  As a result I’ve become pretty successful at growing both roses and tomatoes, a couple examples of my work below.

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As successful as me and my grandfather were, we had one huge failure that has always haunted me.  I must have been seven or eight years old when my grandfather said to me, hey, let’s plant an apple tree.  I was thoroughly excited, I love apples and was already into gardening so the idea of growing fruit was over the top wonderful.  We planted the tree and it grew a bit that summer.  The next summer it grew some more, by the third summer it sort of stopped growing.  The tree never flowered, never grew any fruit and was a horrible disappointment for a little kid who was trying ever so hard to be patient for his apples.

At various times in my life I’ve planted fruit trees in yards and pots and all of them fizzled out for one reason or another.  At my current home I nearly killed my lemon and mandarin trees by putting them in the ground and finally acquiesced and put them in pots where they have done much better.  Little tiny lemons are growing as we speak, my mandarins flowered by set no fruit.  I’ve also killed a peach and a pomegranate tree over the last couple of years.  But friends, my patience has paid off and now after a mere forty year wait, I will have plums, lemons AND FINALLY APPLES!!!

So the next time you have a piece of fruit my friends, think about my grandfather, our failed apple tree and my recent success, give a little smile and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

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My COVID Times Diary – The Slow Motion Apocalypse

My COVID Times DiaryThe Slow Motion Apocalypse

The probability of apocalypse soon cannot be realistically estimated, but it is surely too high for any sane person to contemplate with equanimity.  ~ Noam Chomsky

I’ve thought about the apocalypse a lot in my life, for a time I was even the editor of a dystopian website.  One of the things that you always think about when you contemplate the apocalypse, is that it will be some disastrous event.  Basically that the apocalypse will happen quickly.  This is what we see in dystopian films, the asteroid coming to hit the Earth, the aliens arrive, a virus takes over and 28 days later has infected the entire world.

I have to admit almost six months into our COVID times lives I’m really starting to wonder if we’ve had it wrong all along.  Maybe the apocalypse isn’t like what happened in Pompeii,  maybe it’s a slow motion event, or series of events.  Which of course leads me to wonder are we living through the apocalypse right now?

At this moment, in the bay area, it especially feels this way.  Right now we are living in the middle of a pandemic that has killed almost 200,000 people and has made over five million people sick, many who will suffer long-term or life long impacts from having the disease.  In the bay area nearly one million acres have burned in the last couple of weeks. Which has meant that the skies have been smoke filled for that entire time.  Over the first two weeks of school our district has closed campuses 4 out of 8 days due to poor air quality.

Due to the coronavirus virus outbreak, we have had weekly unemployment filings of over a million people, all total this numbers over thirty million people on unemployment.  For the most recent financial quarter our economy saw the largest drop in quarterly GDP in the history of America.  And likely the worst is yet to come as evictions begin to pile up and the long-term economic implications of the virus sink into our economy in a real way.

The true slow motion apocalypse, climate change is here.  In the 80’s scientists first started putting out the warnings of the impacts of climate change.  Yes, that’s right, we’ve know about it, been warned about it now for forty years!  The models of climate change impact predicted arctic ice melting at a massive rate, higher intensity storms and more global infectious diseases.  These at one point were all theoretical concepts of what will happen some day.  That is no longer the case.  We have seen record losses of ice on the Greenland ice sheet.  We just this past week we watched a hurricane go from Category 1 to Category 4 in just a couple of days due to record high temperatures in the water of the Gulf of Mexico, we’re now frequently see this happen.  This short time span of extreme strengthening leaves people far less time to prepare for major hurricanes.  With Laura the coast got lucky that the potential horrific storm surge didn’t happen.  Trust me, within the next few years we are going to see a massive tragedy and high loss of life due to this pattern.  Finally, new and expanding ranges of existing diseases is obviously here.  Not just that a novel coronavirus has erupted, we were overdue for that.  But think about Zika Virus, about the range of yellow fever and malaria expanding.

I have gauged the level of public fear during the pandemic by the length of lines at the local gun store.  I live in one of the most liberal and gun averse areas of America.  But in April, I watched huge lines form daily outside of the gun store for weeks.  The lines began to abate as the deaths from COVID started to fall.  Then, as the rates started to bump back up, as bay area counties went on the statewide watch list, the lines started to grow again.

I wonder how the fear, the pressure, the stress and the actual impacts of the slow motion apocalypse will exacerbate our slow motion apocalypse.  I hope that the optimists are right.  I hope that a vaccine will be perfected in the next year, that it will be widely distributed and effective.  I hope that people will embrace it and that it will allow life to not just get back normal, but that the experience will spur people to a higher awareness.  That people will be kinder and more aware of the future and the implications of our actions.  But I also know that hope, is a four-letter word. I’m afraid that once we get past the pandemic, people will ignore the long-term thinking necessary to impact the larger issues.  That we will just return to selfish actions and short-term thinking and like the frog in the pot, sit their while the water is slowly warmed until we boil.  Let’s hope not for the sake of our children and grandchildren. ~ Michael A Kane

 

Other COVID Times Posts You Might Enjoy

Grace in COVID times

COVID times a silver lining

COVID times, the great pause

COVID times, inequality

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Friends, joy, gratitude and transition

Friends, joy, gratitude and transition

Rev Kane and two truly wonderful friends on Thanksgiving

Rev Kane with some of his chosen family on Thanksgiving

Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what. ~ Unkown

Originally published, November 2014

So as many of you know I’m in significant life transition right now. Tonight I wanted to take a few minutes to lay out the last week of my life, what I’m grateful for and some of the struggles those close to me are having. In the last week I have finalized the sale of and move out from my home, traveled to Las Vegas for three days for Thanksgiving and moved into a friend’s house. It has been a whirlwind, up late three nights moving and cleaning only to hit Las Vegas and be up late three nights having fun. Not surprising I woke up in the throes of a cold this morning, my body’s way of saying time to rest.

I’m grateful I sold my house to a good friend, someone who will appreciate that home as much as I did. I’m grateful for the chosen family I got to spend Thanksgiving with, there is something about being with people who have known you for decades that is quite special, particularly when their partners are every bit as fabulous as they are. To celebrate Thanksgiving with them, and to get to play with them in Las Vegas for a couple of days was truly wonderful.

Returning to my new temporary home and a gathering of work friends, a lovely little bon voyage was wonderful. These friends have not known me for decades but I feel like some of them certainly will. I’m especially grateful to my friend Steve who has opened his home to me as I wrap up work and transition out of my current life, a supreme act of kindness and friendship.

So I have a lot to be thankful for, my impending journey is scary and wonderful and I can’t wait to begin. But it seems that the universe craves balance in all things. Simultaneously my granny is struggling with pneumonia in the hospital and two friends are struggling in their marriages. So as much as I’m grateful for in my life, I’m also trying to be there for them and give as much as I’m lucky to get from this life.

So friends, tonight I ask you to pause and reflect on the good things and also reach out a hand to those who may be struggling a bit. This time of year the world is especially hard for some folks, so reach out and give a little extra warmth and both give and have, a happy day ~ Rev Kane

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Finding Joy in the Lives of Children

Finding Joy in the Lives of Children

children, jjoyI threw my cup away when I saw a child drinking from his hands at the trough.                 ~ Diogenes

It was my birthday this past week and I had the good fortune of having some interaction with my nieces and nephews.  I have a running joke with a couple of my nieces where I claim I’m Batman, and they explain with great glee how incredibly wrong I am.  So for my birthday I got a box fully of Batman swag, mask, cape, cup, water bottle etc… It was awesome.  I also found out that one of my nephews has gotten into conspiracies around Area 51, so I relayed a story about my trip there and sent him a deck of cards from the Little Alien Inn, which they spell in quite a cutesy fashion.

The biggest joy though was getting a phone message from my littlest nephews and niece.  The first word my niece has ever said to me was, pizza.  Which is absolute proof that she is my niece.  I got to Skype with them yesterday and they had an amazing perspective on my age.  I turned 56, my brother is 41.  So I asked them how old they thought I was, they said 35.  I laughed and asked them how old their dad was they said, 43.  It was funny when they worked out the real numbers with some hints.  It made me laugh at their perception of age and time.

I love the way children view the world, I love the lack of cynicism.  I love the way they can laugh so easily and find humor in the silliest stuff.  It’s why I love spending time with kids, it’s a time to just be silly and free.  Time to not think about deeper things or care about the bigger issues of the world for a time.  Most of all I love the fact they still posses that absolute sense of awe and wonder about the world.  I still have that to, it is often overridden by responsibility and cynicism, but it’s still there and hanging with kids is one of the best ways to tap into it.

No deep thoughts or wisdom this evening, just a few words about the joy of children and the gratitude that I have in actually getting to experience that this week.  As always, have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

 

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Happy Images and Sayings

Happy Images and Sayings

01Today some images and sayings about happiness, enjoy ~ Rev Kane

Originally posted October, 2016

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Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

Happiness and the Benefits of Gratitude

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Happiness is a Choice

Writing Away the Darkness

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Happiness is Persistence & Perseverance

Happiness is Persistence & Perseverance

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Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragements and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak. ~ Thomas Carlyle

Originally published June, 2014

Hello my friends, tonight I want to talk about persistence and perseverance. I believe persistence and perseverance are keys to happiness. First, we need to persevere through the hard times. Life throws us curves; we will be hit by all manner of calamity, injury and illness in our lives. Perseverance is the key to getting through these times because they will pass, no matter how fierce the storm, it will always pass. Persistence is the next skill you need, because in order to accomplish the things we want and need to accomplish in life we need to be persistent.

This has particular relevance for me in two ways right now. First, I’ve been neglectful of my genetic predispositions and my diet and have let my blood sugar climb back up to Type 2 Diabetic levels. The recent death of my uncle of a heart attack, also a type 2 diabetic, truly drives home the serious nature of this condition. So I have to be persistent right now, I have to watch my diet, I have to lose weight. The real persistence for me is on the diet front, exercising has never been a problem for me. But I love pizza and coca-cola, not to mention as some of Irish and Italian decent pasta and potatoes were at one time staples in my diet. All of these are off the map right now, but without a doubt it is difficult for me not to grab a coke when I’m thirsty or needing a pick up. For now however, it cannot happen and I must be persistent in eating right to both lower my blood sugar levels, lose weight and to stay off of medication.

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan Press On! has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race. ~ Calvin Coolidge

The other reason persistence is on my mind right now is that my next goal in life is to hike the length of the Appalachian Trail (AT), all 2200 miles next spring. So I’ve begun training, which happily has coincided with my dietary and weight loss needs. I plan on being in excellent shape at the beginning of the trail next spring. I will also soon begin doing some posts entitled Appalachian Trail Happiness about my research and preparation, these posts will continue throughout the year and into next spring from the trail.

Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th. ~ Julie Andrews

All of this corresponds with turning 50 this year, and although I’ve been tossed a curve or two, I will persist and persevere in order to continue having happy days my friends, my wish for you is always the same. ~ Rev Kane

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Happiness is Photography: Burning Man

Happiness is Photography: Burning Man

You can wash away the dust, but the Playa stays with you ~ Unknown

fix man s6

I made my first visit to Burning Man in the Black Rock Desert in 2004, it is a world unlike any other, more art, beauty, magic and weirdness than you could possibly imagine.  Somewhat ironically what draws me back again and again is the peace I’m able to achieve in the sun and the wind and the dust, lots of happy days my friends ~ Rev Kane

Originally posted November, 2013

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Slow down and Be Happy!

Slow down and Be Happy!

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Rev Kane and a hiking friend

Don’t exist.
Live.
Get out, explore.
Thrive.
Challenge authority. Challenge yourself.
Evolve.
Change forever.
Become who you say you always will. Keep moving. Don’t stop. Start the revolution. Become a freedom fighter. Become a superhero. Just because everyone doesn’t know your name doesn’t mean you don’t matter. ~ Brian Krans

Originally posted February, 2015

My life at the moment is moving at break neck speed, selling a house, packing up my house, moving my things into storage, quitting my job, changing my address, making travel plans, training for the Appalachian Trail, all of that on top you know working and all the normal life stuff. In the midst of all of this I was thinking about my trip east. I’ll be driving east and then north basically camping my way across the US, getting in some hiking and camping time in preparation for my Appalachian Trail thru-hike. While thinking about this trip I had the weirdest thought for a moment, what would I do during my downtime? For a moment this thought terrified me, then I began laughing. Why was I laughing?
Well, having nothing to do, actually having downtime is sort of the point of all of this. What will I do, I’ll be hiking, taking photos and writing. I quickly thought back to my time in Utah 5 years ago training for my Himalayan Trek. Each day I would get up, eat, hike, eat, rest, do some reading, eat, photograph the sunset and then write for several hours before bed. It was heavenly and what I wrote in my journal at one point was, “this is what life is supposed to be for me.”

happiness, burning manWhen we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny. ~ Paulo Coelho
That idyllic existence is what I’m returning to, but change scares all of us, even me, a guy who actually does trainings on change management. But change can be a very good thing, I’m expecting the change I’m about to face will be. I’m going to once again challenge myself, physically and mentally to do the Appalachian Trail thru-hike. But also I’ll be challenging myself to write a travel book and do some other writing as well, even more than that I’ll be pushing to get my work published, something I’ve been too intimidated to try before.

So hopefully after this year or so is up, I will have done some significant writing and maybe even gotten a few things published. My hope is to bring you all along for the ride so we can all have some happy days my friends ~ Rev Kane

YOU MIGHT LIKE THESE AS WELL…

Appalachian Trail (AT) Happiness: A Start

Happiness and Possessions

Himalayan Travelogue – The Whole Thing!

 

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Happiness is a Choice

Happiness is a Choice

529cToday I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain… To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it. ~ Kevyn Aucoin

So I moved to the desert, I have taken a new job and the job I’m happy to say is working out really well.  I rented a great house on five acres with beautiful sunsets.  The house has also been incredibly difficult, there have been a huge string of things that have gone wrong, over the last couple of months I’ve also had a break-in and theft at my storage space, my credit card has been cloned and I’ve had to fight battles with a number of different major corporations over incorrect bills and other frustrations.

People keep asking, did you flip out, who did you go off on?  The answer is no one.  I’m also not bummed out, not falling into old pitfalls like getting depressed or angry, I’m not stressed out.  My attitude, beyond small moments of frustration, has been fairly zen, I’ve remained in a good mood.  Sure I’ve eaten a few unhealthy meals on frustrating days but a couple of cokes and a milkshake are not the worst things I could do.  I’ve remained happy and the question is why?

I point to two things, first was my time on the Appalachian Trail, which I miss terribly every day.  Being on the trail taught me a lot of things, but most of all it taught me patience, to take my time and not let things get me upset as easily.  Today, in the midst of what was a difficult day, I ran into two Pacific Crest Trail (PCT) hikers at lunch.  It was awesome, we had a hiker in common who I met on the AT, it was absolutely wonderful to be called hiker trash again.

The second reason I’m doing well, is something I’ve learned as a result of writing this blog and my research on happiness.  Happiness is absolutely a choice, things happen to us, some are good, some are not so good.  We can’t always control what happens to us, life throws things at us we can’t see coming.  What we can control however is how we react to those things.  I know that sounds quaint, one of those lovely sayings that we think is nice but not real.  I’m telling you it is, it just takes a moment at the beginning of the day to express some gratitude for what you have in your life.  You need to take a minute to give yourself some perspective on whatever problem you’re facing.  I’ve worked hard in my life, I have a good job, great friends, I’ve spent the last 18 months on an awesome adventure, I get to write to you good folks.  I have a good life, so even though today might be a total shit day, tomorrow likely won’t be and a lot of days before haven’t been, so there’s no need to become unhappy.  I can and I do choose to have happy days my friends and with a little effort, so can you.  ~ Rev Kane

Some Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Our Best Happiness Posts for 2015

Revisiting Some of Our Best Posts & Pictures

Readers Favorite Appalachian Trail Posts

 

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