A Slower Pace of Life can Make You Happy

A Slower Pace of Life can Make You Happy

rev kane, slower pace of life, relaxing

Rev Kane relaxing in the arctic snow flurries

Slow down and enjoy life.  It’s not only the scenery you miss by going to fast –  you also miss the sense of where you are going and why. ~ Eddie Cantor

Tonight I want to talk about slowing down the pace of your life.  As I’ve been writing about the past few weeks I went through a bit of a rough patch lately.  I’ve talked many times about the process I take when I’m out of sorts.  Getting the basics (sleep, eating, exercise) in order, doing more writing, strengthening good social connections.  All of these things are important but tonight I want to focus on slowing down.  I’m someone who has a very clear sense of his mortality, I’m under no illusion that I’m guaranteed next year, next week or even tomorrow morning.  I try to follow Taoist philosophy in the context of life, planning for the future but living for the day.  It’s hard, the concept of the end of life is such a powerful fear for most of us that our minds refuse to consider it.  We always think there will be enough  time for us to do all of the things we want to do.

Understanding, truly understanding in a conscious way that there won’t necessarily be time puts a special kind of pressure on me.  I’ve really started to feel that I don’t want to waste a minute of this gift of life that I’ve been given.  The upside, it focuses you, makes you make choices that are more full of value.  Not just social value but personal value as well.  The downside for me is that it can also send Jack down the dull boy road.  You see it’s all too easy for me to get locked into the to do list of things I want/need to get done.  Working on my next book, keeping the blog current, building my social media networks, working out, marketing for my current book Appalachian Trail Happiness.

Of course, what you don’t see in that list is just relax and have some fun.  I enjoy the things on the list, but when you feel pushed it can all start to feel a little too much like a job.  So what do you do?

flowers, super bloom, travel

Rev Kane in the Antelope Poppy Reserve

Steps to a slower pace of life

The first thing is the simplest, the easiest to do and the one that escapes our mind the quickest, just breathe.  I mean that literally, of course your breathing, but you’re not breathing correctly, and by that I mean taking deep slow breaths.  Deep breathing benefits include lowering blood pressure, relaxing you and helping clear your mind.  Just taking several small breaks each day to do a couple of minutes of deep belly breathing can pay more benefits than you would expect.  A big one, it helps create that slower pace of life by getting you to clear your head and give you space to think, instead of just doing all of the time.

A site I reference often, Zenhabits.com has some great tips on a piece about slowing down the pace of your life and they include:

  1. Do less
  2. Be present
  3. Disconnect
  4. Focus on people
  5. Appreciate nature
  6. Eat slower
  7. Drive slower
  8. Find pleasure in anything
  9. Single task
  10. Breathe

A lot of these suggestions depend on a single idea, consciously deciding to have a slower pace of life.  The proverbial stop and smell the roses if you will.  This was something I really experienced on my Appalachian Trail hike.  When you are simply walking every day, things slow down, the days get longer and life just moves along at a really amazing pace that just seems more right than the pace we normally live at.

How slowing down can make you happy

As I mentioned above, being out of sorts I work on the basics, I did that.  I had some things that were bothering my mind and I worked through a number of them.  I also got some things off of my to do list that were putting some pressure on me.  But this pace thing has been on my mind and I knew slowing down can make me happy, so I’ve been trying.  So what have I been doing?

Well first off, because it’s summer I work 10 hour days and get Fridays off.  I’ve also recently moved someplace where I have a pool.  Given that our summers here in the Mojave Desert give us temperatures that daily range over a hundred degrees I decided to make use of the pool on Fridays.  Now being the second whitest man in America and having recently shaved my head, baking in the sun is not really an option.  So I scoped out the pull and realized that around 4PM each day the sun starts to dip behind some trees near the pool and by 6PM the entire pool is bathed in glorious shade.  So I bought a couple of pool noodles and each Friday afternoon (well two in a row so far) I take my noodles and trod over to the pool.  The pool is really quiet, I have had it to myself each time and I purposefully leave my phone at the apartment.  I do a couple of lazy laps when I first get in but quickly I slide up on the noodles, lay back and just float.  I spend anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour like a napping whale in the ocean just letting the wind blow me around the pool.  I then get out and lay in the shade, it usually only takes about twenty minutes to completely dry out and start to get warm.  Going back to the house I feel incredibly relaxed.  It’s a combination of not just taking the downtime, but of also unplugging from all of my communications for an hour or so.  No email, no Facebook notifications or marketing calls are able to interrupt that time.  During that time I find myself naturally falling into deep belly breathes, a good sign that I’m truly relaxing.

There are other small things I’ve been doing as well.  I’m one of those people who eats at his desk while answering emails.  I’ve pushed myself to stop that, I’m not perfect, I’m still eating at my desk but I take the time to at least look at something not stressful on the web, a good science article, or video on hiking, a fellow hiking friend Darwin has some great ones through his site Darwin on the trail, check it out.  I’ve been taking some breathing breaks and trying like hell to single task but my job doesn’t always allow that to happen.  These are things that any of us can do, I’m also just trying to have some stupid fun and even just chill out and watch a movie here or there without being on my computer at the same time.  It all seems to be helping and definitely I’ve been feeling happier over the last couple of weeks.

slower pace of life, can make you happy

A slower pace of life can make you happy

So remember my friends, a slower pace of life can make you happy and that’s worth the effort.  So be calm, take a breath and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

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Remember the sweet things

Happiness and not wasting a day

 

 

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My COVID Times Diary – A New Day

My COVID Times Diary – A New Day

covid masksChange the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable. ~ Denis Waitley

As I said in my very first COVID Times post, part of the reason I’m writing these posts is to leave something to posterity.  Something for little nieces and nephews to read in twenty years.  Especially the little ones, I have several under the age of 7.  I’m not sure they completely get what is going on.  My little 5 and 7 year-old nephews in Brooklyn left their apartment for the first time in ten weeks today.

What I wanted to write about tonight was the surreal image I experienced at the grocery store on Sunday morning.  You see I came walking out of the grocery store Sunday morning, I looked around and every person I could see was walking around wearing masks, hands covered in gloves.  It was early in the morning, very quiet and just felt completely surreal, like I’d suddenly stepped into a dystopian film.  I’d left the store, sparse of customers, again, everyone wearing a mask, many wearing gloves.  There is a sanitization station at the entrance to every store, an entrance that is marked and controlled for access.  The store, that used to have people flowing in and out of every door in every direction, is now a unidirectional controlled series of ingress and egress doors.

There are no more dividers to separate people’s orders on the conveyor at the register.  You see, no one is supposed to stand within six feet of you and only one order at a time can be put on the conveyor, so you don’t need dividers.  You now talk to the cashier with a clear plexiglass border between the two of you.

For most of us reading this right now, you’re likely thinking what a silly little piece I’ve written.  And that’s because this has become completely normal to you.  But if I’d written this piece six months ago saying this is what the world would look like in May, you’d have thought I was a madman.  I wonder how long this will be our new normal?  Will this be the way it is from now on?  Even after the initial outbreak has past, even after we hopefully and finally have a vaccine?  Will that piece of plexiglass remain between you and he cashier as a reminder of our COVID Times life in 2020?  Only time will tell. ~ Michael ‘Rev’ Kane

Other COVID posts you might enjoy!

COVID Times – Fear

COVID Times – Living Our Values

COVID Times – A Little Levity

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My COVID Times Diary – A Little Levity

My COVID Times Diary – A Little Levity

We don’t laugh because we are happy, we’re happy because we laugh.              ~ William James

We’re living in serious times, people are anxious, afraid they’re feeling uncertain about their future and the future of this country.  It leads to a lot of bad things, but people also deal with fear and anxiety with humor.  A friend of mine has been collecting COVID memes on her Facebook page and so I decided to raid her page for the ones that tickled my fancy.  They are below, enjoy. ~ Michael ‘Rev’ Kane

 

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Memorial Day – A Day to Remember

Memorial Day – A Day to Remember

memorial dayIt’s Memorial Day, a day designed as a day to remember those who lost there life in military service for the United States.  All of us likely have someone, somewhere in their family tree who made the ultimate sacrifice during war. For me, my great Uncle Tony was killed in World War II.  I, of course, only know him from pictures and stories.  The intention for today is to remember those people and they certainly should be remembered.

However, during my lifetime, as experience with wars with large numbers of dead grow fainter and fainter in our collective memory, this holiday becomes more and more about the start of summer.  Sure, we fly some flags and have some parades.  War movie marathons play on cable TV, we see a lot of John Wayne on Memorial Day weekend.  Some people, painfully have recent and raw memories of loved ones who have died in our wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.  The veterans of those wars and their families, are still very much in the depths of remembrance that this day was intended to bring forth.

This year, much like after 9/11, a group other than the military is being lauded for the sacrifices they are making on our behalf.  Front line healthcare workers are becoming ill and losing their lives while trying to save others during the coronavirus pandemic.  People have also recognized that people like meat packers, grocery store workers and other retail workers have been in a somewhat similar position.  All of those who have lost their life this year from coronavirus,  who got ill in the service of others, deserve to be remembered.

memorial day, covid, ny timesFor this year, that’s enough of an addition.  But long-term I want to change the purpose of this holiday.  Not in anyway to diminish the sacrifice of our military dead, but to increase our recognition of all of the others who lose their life sacrificing for others.  But let’s not stop there, as well, I think there is more than enough space on this one designated day of remembrance each year for us to take some time to remember those who have sacrificed in any way to make our lives better.

A day to remember the sacrifice of parents, caregivers, grandparents, friends, even kind strangers who made a difference. For me personally I can include a parent, grandparents, other blood relatives and friends on the list of those people.  Hopefully in remembering, we’ll all be more likely to do that for someone else in their times of need.

Today, take a moment to think about anyone, who in your life has sacrificed on your behalf, to help you live a better life and have happier days my friends. ~ Rev Kane

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Happiness, Attitude and Simple Pleasures

Happiness, Attitude and Simple Pleasures

happiness, attitude, simple pleasure

Sitting in the sun and sipping tea and working on my attitude in the Himalayas, another simple pleasure

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it’s on your plate.  ~Thornton Wilder

It has been a hectic time for me lately and I’ve been really stressed out.  The impact of this has been that I have felt fairly joyless over the last couple of months.  The things that normally made me happy haven’t really been raising a smile.  Even some significant events that have a occurred have left others confused that I’m not more excited.

Whenever I feel like this there are some things I do.  First, I do as instructed by Taoist philosophy and go back to the basics, eating, sleeping, and making sure I’m safe in my world.  I also write, not the blog writing I’m doing right now, but more emotive and evocative writing, primarily poetry.  I try to use that as a mechanism to release what emotions may be brewing under the service to get that energy out of me.

It didn’t seem that my usual plan was working this time and certainly if it was, it was taking its sweet time to elevate my mood in any way.  The surest way I know things are wrong is when I’m not eating or sleeping and I’ve been there for a while.

Sometimes nothing works however but reaching down and grabbing yourself up by your bootstraps and willing yourself forward.  More than likely what I had been doing was helping, albeit slowly and the added boost of self-determination has gotten be back over the top.  How do I know I’ve gotten there, well even though today was a very hectic day.  I found myself excitedly and happily watching sports, cheering on my favorite team.  Then it hit me, wow, I haven’t been this happy, over something this simple in quite some time, it feels good to be back.  I hope you are also having a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Other Happiness Posts You Might Enjoy!

Remember the Sweet Things

Happy Anniversary – Ministry of Happiness

Appalachian Trail Happiness: My Best Posts

 

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Happiness is Accepting Impermanence

Happiness is Accepting Impermanence

Impermanence is a principle of harmony. When we don’t struggle against it, we are in harmony with reality. – Pema Chodron

impermanence

I was sitting in my office the other day reflecting on changes that I have seen in my job over the last couple of years.  A really strong and effective manager left our institution a couple of years ago.  During her tenure she made a series of effective changes to our culture and institution, changes that in my opinion made our organization more professional and forward thinking.  Unfortunately, the culture of our institution is such that we seem to pray at the altar of the status quo, as such, any change is perceived as negative.  In the last two years I’ve watched our institution effectively erase all of the changes that had been made.  Thinking about this made me think about impermanence.  You see I have personally labored under the impression that if you do good work, make positive change, that you can in fact make permanent change.  To a degree this is true, but the fact of the matter is that eventually even the best accomplishments will someday be outdone, or even gotten rid of by someone else.

This lack of permanence doesn’t mean we should not try to do anything positive, it just means we should realize the ephemeral nature of all that is life.  Now this can be a depressing and terrifying idea at some level, but can also be used to make us happier.  We can use this thought to understand the importance of mindfulness.  Here are a couple of articles on how specifically you can use the idea of impermanence to be happier.  Give them a read and have a happier day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Six Lessons on Embracing Change and Impermanence from Tiny Buddha

Accepting Impermanence from the Institute of Mindfulness Studies

impermanence

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Fear is Killing Your Happiness

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Happiness in the Dull Moments

Happiness in the Dull Moments

Life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% how you respond to it                    ~ Charles Swindoll

happiness

I have been thinking a lot lately as I’m closing in on turning 50 about my purpose and passion in life.  I think it’s important to reflect on what you have already accomplished in life.  Usually we are too hard on ourselves and if we take the time to truly and honestly reflect on our accomplishments it isn’t that hard to see the good we’ve done.  It’s easiest to see I think in the people we’ve impacted, the changes we’ve helped them make in their own lives.  The other thing is that we often don’t realize the impacts we make on people, how we inspire others.  I think we need to take more time in our lives to go back and tell those people who inspired and help change us, especially our friends and those close to us, so they get to know the good they have done and in turn hopefully more people will do the same for us.

What hit me today though while pulling into the parking lot of the supermarket was just how much time we spend on the mundane tasks of living, things like going to the grocery store, cleaning, doing yard work, commuting and working.  It would be great if we all had massively rewarding jobs but the unfortunate truth is that most of us are working towards earning a necessary pay check each week.  For this reason, it’s equally important to find happiness in the spaces in our lives, in the dull and mundane moments.  One of the techniques I use for this is music, I almost always have music with me, when I’m driving, at the gym, in the office.  Another technique I like but don’t do nearly enough myself, is to take small happiness breaks throughout the day.  Have a picture you like, someone close to you or even an image of a piece of art and take a few 5 minute breaks throughout the day just to stop and look at the picture and allow yourself to escape the dull moment and slide into the happiness of the image.

Whatever you do, however you find time to do it, find a little happiness in the spaces and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

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Rituals for Happiness

Rituals for Happiness

italian cemetery, colma

Rituals are important. Nowadays it’s hip not to be married. I’m not interested in being hip. ~ John Lennon

As we are all quite aware nothing is typical or normal in our world right now.  For that reason, many of us are craving small doses of normality wherever we can find them.  Last week was a tough week, we’re all having them from time to time right now.  This past week, on top of work being absolutely nuts, I learned of the the death of two people I cared about.  One of them was one of my first and best bosses, a man who taught me a lot about work and even more about life.  He was a damn good man and incredibly good to me.

We have many rituals in our lives, the way we celebrate our holidays, the way we even go about our day to day lives can be very ritualistic.  Our largest rituals in life are put in place around our biggest events such as marriages and deaths.  The rituals around death include the way we memorialize the people we lose in our lives.  This shows up in cemeteries partially in the art that is erected around these memorials. I have always been fascinated by this art.  It is the reason I have made a hobby out of photographing cemeteries.  The combination of the poignancy of the setting, the beautiful grounds and the art in the memorials makes for great subject matter.

When I was a child there was a Sunday morning ritual in our house.  It involved going to the corner store, buying the Sunday New York Times and the NY Daily news.  It also included picking up donuts and coffee cake.  Easy, lazy Sunday mornings reading the newspapers and eating a big breakfast with sweets are very good memories for me.

In these uncertain times it’s importance to find normalcy wherever we can.  To utilize or even establish rituals that we can find comfort in, that’s what today was all about for me.  Without a doubt, today felt more normal than any day since the shelter in place orders came down two months ago.  It definitely felt like those childhood Sunday mornings.  I slept in a bit late this morning, had a big breakfast, minus the sweets.  I got my camera gear together and headed to the Italian Cemetery in Colma.  I call Colma the city of the dead, it’s often called the City of Souls, there are something like a dozen cemeteries there, the history of the Colma cemeteries is quite interesting, check out this link.  So today, finally, after living near Colma for 11 months, I made my first foray today to the Italian Cemetery.  It was a beautiful day, blue skies and broken clouds, with a small breeze.  Given I was never going to be near anyone, I didn’t wear a mask.  So I spent the whole afternoon walking under blue skies, no mask and taking photographs.  It was a really wonderful afternoon.

italian cemetery, colma

We need these normal days right now, so find them where you can my friends.  Manufacture them if you have to, find or create rituals that bring a little routine and normalcy into your life.  If feels funny to write that sentence, when as you know, if you have read this blog for any time, I spend most of my time talking about how to get out of your routine life to find more happiness.  Just goes to show you, you never know what tomorrow will bring.  I hope tomorrow brings you a happy day. ~ Rev Kane

Some other Cemeteries I’ve Photographed

St. Boniface Cemetery

Montjuic Cemetery

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Notice the Small Things

Notice the Small Things

happiness, small things, burningman

A couple of small things at Burningman

We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop. ~ Mother Teresa

So today I want to talk about noticing the small things.  As we grudgingly roll out of bed and blast into our daily routine, commute, and start our work day, it is all too easy to do this in a haze; after all it’s just another day.  But tomorrow is another day you’re alive, another day that this magic thing that is life is occurring and we should be thankful and enjoy it.  We need to find the joy in the standard and the routine for that is the majority of our time.  One way to do that is notice the small things.  Take a second to return the smile of someone you encounter, notice the sunrise during your drive, or take a moment to see the new hairstyle someone is wearing in your office.

Noticing these things may not do anything in themselves to increase your happiness, but may increase the happiness of others, which in the end will increase yours.  So have a great day, take your time, remember to breathe, stay positive, notice the small things and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Do not consider any act of kindness insignificant, even meeting your brother with a cheerful face. ~ Mohammed

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

Great Hikes & Treks

Happiness is Taking Risks

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Happiness is a Choice

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Get a little Joy in Your Life

Get a little Joy in Your Life

Pure joy floating on the Dead Sea

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think.  When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves. ~ Buddha

One of the most joyous days of my life was the birth of my little brother.  Growing up, I’d always wanted a little brother and now at age 15 I was finally getting my wish.  He was born in a terrible ice storm which meant we got the day off from school the day he was born, double joy.  The irony is, that while I’m writing this I’m awaiting the birth of his daughter, soon to be my littlest niece.

Joy in Life

Lately I’ve been thinking that there isn’t enough joy in my life.  Don’t get me wrong, life is good and I’m very happy.  I’m living in a new place I like, I have a new job that is going well, I have a better social life already here than I’ve had in years.  But  what I’m talking about, is that giddy child-like feeling of joy, that moment where you feel amazement, spiking happiness, tingling joy.  For me it’s been a couple of years, the last time I absolutely felt like that was in the picture above, floating in the Dead Sea.  I’d wanted to experience the amazing buoyancy of floating in the Dead Sea since I’d seen a story about it on 60 Minutes when I was a child.

Walking into the cold water you don’t get how different things really are, then you get deep enough and you lunge forward and you bob like a cork.  It’s amazing, it’s like having on floaties, you can literally float vertically in the water column.  I could float on my back with incredible ease, which I’ve never been able to do anywhere before.  I was giggling like a toddler, I couldn’t stop smiling, I loved it, it was amazing.  I need, we need, more of that type of feeling in our lives.

Soon I hope to do something else I’ve wanted to do since seeing the movie Altered States in the early 1980’s.  I want to float in a sensory deprivation tank, and now, living a few miles from San Francisco I have several places I can do this, and I’m so excited to try it out.

I know how to help you be happier, I know the little things you can do daily, I know how to help you design the big things that can make you happier and change your life.  But joy, joy is a trickier thing, it’s a fleeting, hard to grasp and often only comes spontaneously.  I knew I would enjoy the Dead Sea, I had no idea it would bring the kind of joy that it did.  So, this is about to become my new quest, I’d love your help, your suggestions and most especially your stories of joy, so please share and have a happy day my friends.  ~ Rev Kane

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