Living not just existing

Living not just existing

happiness, life

 

 

At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want. ~ Lao Tzu

 

We focus here at the Ministry of Happiness on how to live a happier life.  Recently, while talking with a friend we started talking about a person we know who lives a less than wonderful life.   The crux of it seems to be that this person is no longer living, they are just existing.  As far as I understand life it is a one-way, one-time trip and from my perspective that means we should get everything we can out of this experience.

I get why this doesn’t happen for so many people, thinking about the nature of life and death can be terrifying.  We get distracted with the day-to-day necessities of life, work, family, bills, and groceries.  It’s easy to focus on this day-to-day until years have passed by.  We constantly realize again and again that we haven’t talked to old friends for years, that our dreams haven’t been realized and that our bucket lists aren’t getting any shorter.

THIS DOES NOT HAVE TO HAPPEN!  It is our choice my friends, our task and responsibility, our duty to ourselves to sit down and right this wrong.  It is one of the most important ways in which we can make ourselves happy, a responsibility we owe to ourselves.  This is one of the best ways to make ourselves happy, and if we are happy then those around us are happy as well.  So give it a shot my friends, give someone a call, check off a bucket list item or make plans to do so.  Go full on cliché and actually stop and go smell some roses, live my friends and make it a happy day ~ Rev Kane

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

Happiness and the Benefits of Gratitude

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Happiness is a Choice

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National Poetry Month: A Eulogy to Amuse the Penguins

National Poetry Month: A Eulogy to Amuse the Penguins

happiness familyAge is just a number.  Life and aging are the best gifts we could ever have.      ~ Cicely Tyson

So given it’s national poetry month I thought I would drop one of my poems.  It’s about my grandfather, in his later years he lived near the convent my aunt lives at and took care of their gardens.  He spent a lot of times with the nuns and they knew him very well.  I’ve also included some links below to the work of some of my favorite poets.  So enjoy my friends and I hope you are having a happy day.  ~ Rev Kane

 

A Eulogy to amuse the penguins                     2006

People don’t want the truth
particularly not when death is at hand
they don’t want to know a life
can’t stand to see the warts
they want disneyanna
where at the end of the day we gather
and have a parade down main street America

My grandfather was a man
a hard man
a cold man
but he mellowed with age
hard jagged lines on his face
fading soft with his laughter
eyes lit as he talked about back in the day

He died in 2000 and I was asked to do the eulogy
wanting to speak his life warts and all
but my sister ratted me out
ratted me out to my aunt the nun
I suffered through the speeches
sister, aunt, father oh my
to my shame I acquiesced

But I was on the hook my friends
had to stand up in front
relatives, family, friends, nuns
So I chose to pick a slice
grab a day in the life
and this is the one I chose

My grandfather loved tomatoes and roses
and in the neighborhood was a challenged boy
a boy of 32 with a dad in his 50’s
the boy had trampled grandpa’s plants and he was pissed
he had the opportunity to see the boy’s father
never given to silence, he spoke
of course grandpa spoke with his fists
like an 87 yr old warrior from the WWF
he came off the top step with a right cross
Grandpa went to scrappin in the street
he lost, hitting his head on the curb

I found my way to the hospital the next day
and asked him what happened
he said that guy had a roll of nickels in his hand
yeah grandpa, he was waitin for you
then he grew stone faced and paused
looking at me seriously, he said
I hit that guy in the gut with everything I had
and he didn’t go down, I might be getting old
and I laughed at the coolest thing I’ve ever heard
that day,
my 87 year old grandfather
just started to consider that he might be getting old.

People in the church smiled,
but the penguins rolled in the aisles,
because they knew him best

 

Other poetry posts

Charles Bukowski

Warsan Shire

Doug Draime

Leonard Cohen

Rumi

Pablo Neruda

 

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Life is a roller coaster, hang on and enjoy the ride

Life is a roller coaster, hang on and enjoy the ride

rev kane, hospital

Defiant and having fun til the end

Life is 10% what happened to you and 90% how you react to it.                             ~ Charles R. Swindoll

So it was a bit of a roller coaster of a week.  Well, actually, it all started a few weeks ago.  I’ve been having some issues with regulating my blood pressure and needed to up my medication dosage.  At the same time I was also in the process of scheduling a small elective surgery.  Well, the day of the surgery my blood pressure spiked to frightening, stroke type levels, at one point 233 over 105.  So they both cancelled me out of my surgery and then sent me to the cardiologist to get cleared before I can reschedule.

The cardiologist happily put me on some new medications that have my blood pressure back into the normal range.  He also heard a heart murmur so he scheduled an echocardiagram and a stress test.  So on Thursday, I went in to have pictures taken of my heart.  About half-way through the echocardiagram the technician got obviously twitchy and asked me if I had recently had an illness with a high fever.  I hadn’t and she continued on.

When she finished, she asked me to sit in the hall and not leave.  She then hurried off to what I assumed was my cardiologist’s office and then came back about 5 minutes later.  She sat down next to me the same way funeral directors sit next to you at the funeral home.  Hands folded in her lap, soft voice, uber serious and she said, “we’re concerned.”  We saw something on the echocardiagram, an infection of your aortic valve and you are being immediately admitted to the ER for endocarditis.  I started to get up, she stopped me and made me wait for a nurse.  Apparently she was too afraid to let me walk the 45 feet to the admitting desk.  The nurse, who was somewhat confused asked me how I felt (great) any chest pains (no) any shortness of breath (no).  Then I asked if I could run out to my car to get my phone charger and he said yes, although it turned out to not be in my car.

So I was admitted, injected, inspected and detected including taking a good deal of blood.  I was hooked into the monitors like a cyborg and left in the ER to envision the idea that in the next 24 hours I was likely about to have open heart surgery.  I have to admit, the thing I was most upset about was the idea that heart surgery might screw up my plans to soon be unemployed and move to Mexico.  After a small 2 minute freak-out, I hit the point of acceptance and relaxed. At least I was wearing cool socks although I forgot to take a picture of them in the ER.

cool, socks, happiness

My alien socks

The cardiologist came in an explained that I likely had a severe bacteriological infection on my aortic valve that would destroy the valve and that they needed to immediately do an internal ultrasound of my heart by doing a procedure that feeds the emitter down your esophagus.  Unfortunately, being a small rural hospital they don’t have the equipment here so I would need to be transported two hours away to another hospital.  So that process started and I have to say the ER doctor and nurses in the ER were absolutely fantastic.

Eventually I heard the nurse talking to the ER doctor, my blood work was back and I over-heard, wow, these look great.  Then a quick discussion about how I looked good, was alert and joking around.  Eventually the ER doctor came and talked to me, if I had a massive infection on my heart valve my white blood cell count would be through the roof.  It was below normal, so there was no infection.  From there, everything started spiraling down to less excited levels.  The fact that I had an echocardiagram 35 yeas ago that showed an abnormality was probably the cause of the issue.  To be safe, I’m still going to have the trans-esophageal procedure in a couple of weeks to check everything out.  Of course my cardiologists is still scared.  His office calls me each day to see if I’m alive and how I’m feeling.  Of course, I have never felt bad.  So almost certainly I’m fine, just a congenital valve defect that I’ve been dealing with for over half a century.

But it will be good to know for certain, get my stress test done and then have my elective surgery rescheduled and done.  So hopefully, my move to Mexico, is still on full steam ahead and I’m looking forward to happy days south of the border. The quote I used tonight is really pertinent, Thursday could have been a truly awful day.  I could have gotten angry about the unfairness of it all, and even angry when it turned out not to be an emergency and upset that I’d been hospitalized.  But that would have accomplished nothing.  One thing that writing this blog over the last 8 years has really taught me is it’s not what happens, but how you deal with it.  So I try to always deal with things positively, it’s not always easy, but it’s always a good choice.

As always I hope you have a happy day as well my friends. Oh, and get your blood pressure checked, they don’t call it the silent killer for nothing. ~ Rev Kane

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Happiness and being Child-like

Happiness and being Child-like

happiness, child like, fun

Happiness and Being Child-like

It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.  ~Berkely Breathed

Good morning friends, first off today please read the title of this post carefully, Happiness and being child-like, not childish.  One of the things that has always struck me about the Eastern philosophies (Buddhism, Taoism) is the idea of returning to your inner child.  I think very often in the West this idea gets laughed at because when we hear or read this we think that means returning to acting like a child, it does not.  This idea is not about becoming selfish, immature or escaping the responsibilities of life, not at all.

What this idea encompasses is the idea of returning to the joy, the wonder, the happiness of when life was innocent.  Life is hard and eventually we all grow up, many of us, due to how hard life can be, grow up much, much too early.  Returning to the inner child is to return to the time before that moment you grew up.  Most people can’t identify that single moment, I’m one of the unlucky ones, I can.  I can see it in my mind’s eye, remember the sounds, the smell, the feel of that very moment.  It wasn’t until years later that I realized the significance of that night but I still remember it like it was last night.

Returning to your inner child is returning to the moment when you could spend an entire afternoon running and laughing in the sun.  When laying on your back and looking at clouds felt like a day full of accomplishment.  I often have moments, when I hear a child laugh, or catch the smell of cotton candy or baking cookies, when I truly feel, just in that moment like I did before that night, before I lost my innocence.  If you can feel it for a moment, you can feel it for longer and that is what it means to return to your inner child and it is my greatest quest and I hope yours as well.   Good luck on that effort and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

So smile and have your own happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

Resources to Boost Your Mood

On Being More Mindful

Resources for Overcoming Loss

The Power of Hugs

How to be Happy

Habits for Happiness

Resources on Meditation

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Happiness & Being Perfect

Happiness & Being Perfect

escaping the castle fix

Nothing is perfect. Life is messy. Relationships are complex. Outcomes are uncertain. People are irrational. ~ Hugh Mackay

So there’s a post going around on the web that I really like although if I tried I could interpret as being directed at someone like me. It pokes fun at all of those posts on your Facebook page, like this one, that talks about how to improve your life. The article is Bad Advice Wednesday: 12 Habits of People Who Don’t Give a Shit About Your Inner Peace , a warning there’s a good number of f-bombs in the article so if that kind of language offends you stay clear.

The pieces basic message is solid, you see the main message really is that it’s ok not to be perfect, that although we should all strive to be happier, healthier, thinner, kinder, as much as we should all be volunteering for charity every week and being kinder to strangers, children and puppies, it’s ok to not be perfect as well. A great line from the piece:

Be incessantly curious about the world around you! Experience art, science, beauty, and nature! But stop beating yourself up on those nights when you just want to sit your ass on the couch and watch reruns of Friends.

I post here each week and try to help you, and a bit selfishly me, find ways to be happier in our lives. The messages that I move forward are ideals, do I expect you or me to reach the idealistic heights that I express, not necessarily. However, we all need something to strive for, we need a direction, assistance in order to become a better and specifically with what I do, a happier person. What is important is that we try, and if we try, as pointed out in the piece, it’s ok if time to time we fall down. If you’ve been eating right for weeks and suddenly find yourself face down in a dozen donuts you’ve slipped. You have to forgive yourself for the slip or you compound the error by also beating on yourself, which makes you feel bad, which makes it more likely you’ll slip again.

So the message today is try, and if you’re trying remember it’s ok that you’re not perfect and when you aren’t perfect and you slip, remember to be kind to yourself and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

 

OTHER PIECES YOU MIGHT ENJOY…

Happiness Resources: The Power of Hugs

Happiness Resources: Zen Habits

Happiness Resources: The Pursuit of Happiness

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Appalachian Trail Happiness: Thru-hike Food Recommendations & Recipes

Appalachian Trail Happiness: Thru-hike Food Recommendations & Recipes

Sometimes you get real hungry on the trail

Sometimes you get real hungry on the trail

A crude meal, no doubt, but the best of all sauces is hunger. ~ Edward Abbey,
Desert Solitaire

So I will keep my own personal comments to a minimum tonight as I am one of the worst possible persons to talk to about trail food.  Why? Well very simply a long time ago I came to the realization that I’m lazy and what I want when I’m hiking or camping is food that consists of three things.  First it should be tasty enough to be eaten with great repetition.  Second, it should be easy to store and make.  Third, there should be minimal clean-up, I hate doing the dishes in the default world and only hate it a little bit less on the trail.

So this leads to me eating a lot of Mountain House, seriously, Mountain House folks, if you’re reading this, I should absolutely be your national spokesman.  Mountain House Beef Stroganoff is good enough that if I’m being really lazy, I’ll make it at home.  Other brands are good as well, a lot of it is personal preference and most of them are available at almost all of your resupply stops on the trail.  Sometimes it takes a little bit to figure out where in town to find them, but I rarely was unable to find them in town somewhere.  Oh, and BTW, stay away from the Mountain House Pasta Primavera, it’s awful.

Brassie Brook Shelter

Brassie Brook Shelter

I didn’t eat dehydrated food for every meal, cooking takes effort and I’m lazy, have I mentioned that yet? Lunches for me on the trail ran the spectrum from subs and sandwiches coming out-of-town, to summer sausage and crackers, to lots of tortillas with pepperoni and cheese, peanut butter, honey, tuna fish, chicken, etc…  Yes, like everyone else, I ate a lot of Cliff Bars and their cousins.  Breakfast is really bad for me, I have a hard time eating when I first get up, especially when I’m getting up at dawn.  However, breakfast is the most important meal of the day, seriously, not eating in the morning is a huge mistake.  So, given it’s importance I ate a lot of  those little chocolate donuts early on and a lot of Belvita breakfast bars as things warmed up.  I also while it was colder was fond of Hershey Special Dark Chocolate Bars dipped in peanut butter.

You’ll notice I did not mention the words Ramen or Knorr  in my descriptions above.  I ate a total of zero ramen and one Knorr pasta side the whole time I was on the trail.  That makes me really, really strange compared to most thru-hikers.  Again, lazy, not wanting a lot of clean-up.  The trade-off is repetition and a much less exciting dining experience.

I saw a lot of people cooking a lot of great stuff on the trail.  Smaller company dehydrated meals, Tasty Bite vegan meals, pasta, vegetables, Ramen, oatmeal and hot dogs (usually right out-of-town)  I did almost none of this so I’ll let the resources I’m posting direct you to how to do this and do this well.  There are a decent amount of wild foods on the trail once things warms up, scallions, ramps, mushrooms (but ONLY if you really know what you’re doing), the occasional fruit tree and of course lots of berries.

Snacks could be just about anything and I saw everything from the standard, energy bars, GORP, nuts, cookies, crackers, cheese sticks, all kinds of chips to the more exotic things like a can of sardines, yes that really happened.  Basically if you’re willing to carry the weight it’s on the menu.  Most people forego any real consideration of nutrition beyond calories and what tastes good but I did see people paying attention to the details, but they were honestly few and far between.  Then of course there is town food and the gluttony filled orgy that eating after days on the trail can become, but for this post I’m focusing on resources for on-trail food. A lot of the posts will center around calories per ounce, you get that already, so I won’t explain it other than to say everyone carries too much food.

20150824_194342So, some links to recommendations on what to carry and eat, how to make it, recipes and even a few nutty suggestions, enjoy and I hope this helps you have a happier thru-hike my friends ~ Rev Kane

BASICS

The Appalachian Trail Conservancy’s Resupply Page – Good basic information on resupply and bounce boxes

Ten Ultralight Backpacking Foods – This list is the absolute basics in the calorie per ounce competition, although they left off Frito’s corn chips, how do you leave off something that not only tops out on the calorie to weight list but is also utterly flammable to the point of being able to be used as a fire starter?

Andrew Skurka – Andrew knows his shit, and this is a good solid page of recommendations of how to eat, cook, carry and shop.

Adventure Allen’s food page – I really like this page, there is a lot of good information and suggestions as well as a small section on stove options.  Given what I was doing a Jet Boil made the most sense to me but there was a huge range of stoves on the trail.

Hiking Dude’s Food Page – A general page with links to more specifics, not a lot of recipes or details but especially if you’re feeling like you have no idea where to start, this would be that place.

REI’s basics for food – If you’re an experienced hiker skip this page

Lower Gear Food Prep Page – I like this page, it’s pretty basic but it gives some of the detailed basic ideas other pages assume you already know.

White Blaze Board – Always go to WhiteBlaze.net for anything AT related there will always be a discussion somewhere about what you’re interested in learning about.  The link I’ve connected to is the cooking and food forum.

From Thruhiker.com – A nice short discussion of nutrition on the trail

Appalachian Trail Food: Our Favorite Mealsa nice post about the actual meals these thru-hikers ate on their hike.

MORE ADVANCED

Outdoors Stack Exchange Food Discussion – Never heard of it before, me neither but in the discussion there is a nice list of positives and negatives for a lot of hiking foods and some great suggestions from other commenters.

19 Homemade Hiking Foods – A really cool list GREAT for day hikes but some of the selections might be good for making early and adding to drop boxes or if you have someone at home doing boxes they could make and add these.  There are items in here I never thought of or have seen before, interesting list.

A week of lightweight meals – a nice page with a good sample week of food.  Remember, you’re doing a series of 3-5 day hikes so you’d never need to carry this much food.

Five really solid basic recipes – Five recipes that are doable easy and look tasty from Erik the Black’s Page.

RECIPES & COOKING TIPS

Trail Recipes – Is probably the most extensive site I’ve ever seen about trail food.  It also includes a section on learning how to dehydrate food etc… An excellent resource.

Outdoor Gear Lab’s Best Backpacking Foods – Some good ideas with recipes and some prep tricks to make some stuff you don’t ordinarily see on the trail.  You’ll look like a damn trail chef with some of these.

Backpacking Food Recipes – From Wild Back Packer.com a great list of recipes for every meal and snacks with almost everything available in the grocery store.

Backpacking Chef – A ton of recipes submitted by hikers as well as the site people, huge list.

Back Packer Magazine’s Recipe Pages – I didn’t dive deep into these, the variety looks great but I’m not sure a lot of these will work on a thru-hike.

Gourmet Backpacking Recipes – Come on, you know you want to whip one of these out in Georgia and impress all the newbie hikers

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

Appalachian Trail Happiness, The Book!

Thru-hike Gear Lists

Thru-hike FAQ’s – Part 1

My Appalachian Trail Resources Page

Appalachian Trail Happiness: Trail Community

Appalachian Trail Happiness: Precious Moments

Appalachian Trail Happiness: My Favorite Little Hiker

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Happiness, Relaxation & Downtime

Happiness, Relaxation & Downtime

happiness, relaxation

Happiness, relaxation and downtime

Turn off your mind, relax, and float downstream. ~ John Lennon

I think today’s post falls into the category of duh philosophy.  You know it’s like when people tell you exercise is good for you, duh.  But we all need time to decompress, I think we all get this from the vantage point of taking vacations, although I think many of us take vacations that stress us out more than our non-vacation lives.  A bit of advice, if your vacation includes multiple schedules and destinations, if you’re concerned about how things will work or if they will time out, then your vacation is liable to make you more stressed than relaxed.

However what I’m talking about today is more of the daily relaxation.  We all need to find that few minutes or bit of time each day to relax.  Some people meditate in the morning or at night, others go to the gym or for a run.  Some people find fifteen minutes a day just to sit somewhere quiet or take a walk away from work or home.  Heck, take a ten minute walk to the store and get a piece of chocolate everyday, whatever will give you peace and a little bit of break.  I see lots of articles about how having a drink or two each day is good for you, it’s not the drink, it’s that the people who do that take a little bit of time to relax each day, we should follow their example with or without the alcohol.

For me, photography is one of the ways I relax, shooting pictures and even the organizing and sharing them is very relaxing for me.  Photography is usually a big part of any time off I take.   So, in hopes of giving you a reason to take a couple of minutes to relax and hopefully raise a smile or two, here are a few shots of my favorite shots.  Have a look and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

smiling baby self yak fix double bow 1 angel fix lgeorge fix fix a1 love truck fix 276 bman dawn fix glake scnd valley

Mardi Gras: Krewe of the Bossom Buddies

Happiness is Burning Man 2014

Happiness is Great Photography: Great Sites

Happiness is Photography: The Himalayas

Mardi Gras 2016

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A Mindfulness Day as a Way to Happiness

A Mindfulness Day as a Way to Happiness

mindfulness and happiness

In mindfulness one is not only restful and happy, but alert and awake. Meditation is not evasion; it is a serene encounter with reality.                             ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Recently I had the absolute pleasure of spending three days on a silent retreat at the New Camaldoli Hermitage about 20 miles south of Big Sur, California.  First off the hermitage was wonderful, simple and good accommodations and food, the brothers were excellent hosts.  For three days I was situated on a cliff side above the Pacific Ocean, no phones, no internet, no television or radio reception.  Three days of quiet contemplation and reading, time to meditate and just be.

During this period of time I also read one of Thich Nhat Hanh’s book on mindfulness it was a wonderful read.  One of the things that really struck home was the idea of a mindfulness day.  Contemplating on mindfulness is something I do, but the idea of a full day, once a week, to practice mindfulness was something I hadn’t considered.

The idea is quite simple, setting a day aside with a focus on mindfulness.  A quiet day, focused on yourself, your home and garden but all done slowly, mindfully focusing on each moment of this special day.  I will be trying this next weekend, I let you know how it goes.

Developing an understanding of the immediacy of life while preparing for the future is one of the very keys to happiness and a way for you to have an absolutely happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

Happiness and the Benefits of Gratitude

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Happiness is a Choice

 

 

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Happiness & Forgiveness

Happiness & Forgiveness

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong               ~ Mahatma Gandhi

forgiveness, happiness

Happiness and Forgiveness

So there is the obvious thread here, forgiveness is a good thing. If you can truly forgive the people who have done your wrong, you no longer have to carry around the baggage associated with those people. Not an easy thing to do, and I have personally worked for decades to forgive some of the people in my past. Recently, I’ve incorporated forgiveness into my daily meditations and it has begun to help, I’m closing in on a more forgiving and happier place. Life is too short to spend time holding on to negative feelings, here’s an interesting piece on the 7 keys to forgiveness, it’s where I stole the image from.

Recently I was watching an episode of William Shatner’s Raw Nerve, it was an episode featuring Drew Carey. Now if you’ve never seen this show, click on the link and read a blog entry about the series. I think, in all seriousness, it may be the best interview show that has ever been on television. I haven’t seen Drew Carey on anything in quite some time, apparently he’s hosting the Price is Right these days. However, this is not the Drew Carey I remember; he’s older, more serious and absolutely more thoughtful and spiritual. While being interviewed by Shatner he said something I found to be very profound. He said he’s working on getting to a place where he forgives in advance.

All of us strive to be people who forgive, and we would love to become the type of person who forgives quickly. But Drew Carey was talking about forgiving in advance and this was the example he used. Someone cuts you off in traffic, you honk your horn or worse and then, later a few minutes or a few hours you think, gee why did I get so upset, in the grand scheme of things that was nothing and you forgive that person. A great thing would be the type of person who can thank immediately, you get cut off and as you start to react, you come to forgiveness and stop. Now imagine, forgiveness in advance, someone cuts you off and you’ve already forgiven their error. There would be no need to get upset, not even for a second.

Now, personally I’m not there yet, but listening to Drew Carey it seemed like a really wonderful idea. Me personally, I still feel like if I forgive everyone, somehow it just lets the jerks getaway with being jerks. But that’s what this ministry is about, finding ways to improve our lives so that we can be happier. I hope this helped you have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

Happiness and the Benefits of Gratitude

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Happiness is a Choice

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Happiness & Mindfulness

Happiness & Mindfulness

mindful

See if paying attention to the nature of the mind early in the morning makes your mind more alert throughout the day. Your thoughts certainly will be more tranquil. The conceptual mind that runs on thinking of good things, bad things, and so forth will get a rest. A little non-conceptuality can provide a much-needed vacation.  ~  Dalai Lama

What the Dalai Lama is referring to here is mindfulness, the act of being fully engaged in the present, focused solely on this moment and this moment alone.  Mindfulness can provide a greater awareness of who you are and what is truly happening in your life and the first step to true happiness is a thorough understanding of where you truly are on your path.

Here are a couple of pieces on mindfulness and how it can make you happier, enjoy
~ Rev Kane

From The Happiness Trap 

Want a Happier Brain? Try Mindfulness

Make happiness a habit through mindfulness

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