The Ministry of Happiness

Happiness and Anger Management

Posted on July 2, 2017 by Michael Kane

Happiness and Anger Management

Happiness and Anger Management

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. ~ Dalai Lama

We all have those days, we’re running late, things are going right, we didn’t have time for breakfast so we whip through the drive through at our local fast food joint to pick up a snack and then of course, they got the order wrong. You get mad, we all do, you may even yell a bit in your car and if you really can’t eat it you bring the order back in to the restaurant.

I witnessed this happen for someone this morning at McDonalds; he came into the restaurant with his drive-thru order and a lot of anger. He had apparently been told that they were serving lunch and they weren’t and he’d ordered several meal deals that turned out to be breakfast not lunch. He came in upset and the manager did what a good manager would do, she apologized, offered him his money back or to choose another order. He did eventually take another order but he kept hammering at the manager, kept ordering her to tell the person who made the mistake that it was breakfast and not lunch. He did what a lot of us do when we’re angry, he just had to find a way to hurt her and make her feel bad.

This is something we all need to learn to avoid my friends. It’s ok for us to get angry it’s a normal human reaction. However, it’s the duration that we have to work on, we need to learn to hold that anger to an absolute minimum. The longer we stay angry the more harm we do to ourselves in terms of stress and negativity. The longer we stay angry the more we feel the need to hurt others as well. We need to reduce the length of time we stay angry, so that we can increase the amount of time we’re happy. So start today and have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Happiness and ghosts from the past

Posted on June 30, 2017 by Michael Kane

Happiness and ghosts from the past

Lovely statues or Dermentors in the shadows

It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. ~Berkely Breathed

Very few people, at least in how they remember things, had a great childhood. We all suffered the slings and arrows of parents who were less attentive than we wished, of the torments and slights of other children and the disappointments of others getting things we wanted but never got. The fact is that this historical record is not a static entity; it is a dynamic history that we create and recreate both consciously and unconsciously as we move through life. If you want evidence of this just listen to the family stories each year at the holidays and watch how they change over time. This, although it can cause confusion and problems, is ultimately a good thing.

You see the fact that our history is fluid means that although we are a product of our past, our past can be changed and therefore our lives can be changed. The slights of our past no longer have to be the reason we act the way that we do. As adults we have to take responsibility for our actions and no longer blame others for the situations of our lives. It is our life and ultimately our fault for how it works out and whether or not we are happy. So take the proverbial bull by the horns and take control of your life, and your happiness. And as always, have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Books for your Summer Reading List 2017

Posted on June 10, 2017 by Michael Kane

Books for your Summer Reading List 2017

Summer is Beach Reading Season

Tonight a little post to help you find books for your summer reading list. The focus for the list is books that aren’t too deep, about interesting topics and not too long, basically brain candy reading for the hot, sweet days of summer, while you’re relaxing on vacation, enjoy.

Nothing brings you more happiness than reading books on the beach in the summer.

Summer Reading Books

Borne by Jeff Vandermeer

Borne – Rachel, a postapocalyptic scavenger who finds the improbably sentient and mutable creature—who “smelled of beach reeds on lazy summer afternoons and, beneath the sea salt, of passionflowers”—while picking through the fur of the gargantuan flying bear that terrorizes her devastated city. And then things start to get weird.

Full Wolf Moon – By one of the authors of Relic, a little paranormal mystery book featuring the character paranormal investigator Jeremy Logan. Add to that a cool location, Werewolves in the Adirondacks.

Books on Happiness

Appalachian Trail Happiness – This book comes in at less than a hundred pages and is a nice light book about hiking the Appalachian Trail. As one of the comments say on Amazon, this book is like a great conversation with the author telling stories about the trail.

Appalachian Trail, adventure, travel, happiness

Find happiness walking on the Appalachian Trail

Potlikker Papers: A Food History of the Modern South – A book that tells stories about the culture of the south through food. Stories including dinners cooked for civil rights leaders to the fast booms in the south, brain candy and it will make you hungry.

Books about Love

How to Fall in Love with Anyone – Mandy Len Catron provided everyone with their new favorite date-night opener in her viral New York Times piece “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This.” Is it possible to create the conditions for romance armed only with 36 questions devised by a psychologist? (Try it, and let us know.) Now, Catron expands upon the themes of love and relationships in a collection of essays destined to provide more conversational fodder.

Sex and Rage – Originally published in 1979, Sex and Rage paints with Babitz’s signature hues: Los Angeles sky blue, jacaranda mauve, and cocktail pink. Its protagonist, the aimless Jacaranda, shares with her creator a bicoastal range, languid ambition, and a talent for passion.

Uplifting Books

Waking Land

The Waking Land – Bates’s debut is the first book in a planned trilogy about a young woman who can call on the magical powers of nature. Bates has built an extraordinary world with terrific characters in this unique new fantasy.

Reading with Patrick: A Teacher, A Student and a Life-changing Relationship – In 2004, Michelle Kuo moved to the Mississippi Delta to teach at a school in one of the poorest counties in the U.S. There she met a young man named Patrick. Patrick was thoughtful, motivated, and loved learning — he was only hampered by opportunity. Kuo worked with him until she moved away to attend law school. After learning that Patrick was in jail for murder, she moved back to work with him again. This is a story about the power of books; the issues of race, justice, and poverty; and the endurance of hope and connection. Kuo’s book is an honest and touching memoir.

Happiness, Wedding and Love

Posted on May 30, 2017 by Michael Kane

Happiness, Wedding and Love

No relationship is all sunshine, but two people can share an umbrella and survive the storm ~ Unknown

So this weekend I had the honor of officiating the wedding of the two fine people pictured above. It was a lovely wedding and went off without any significant hitches. I’m happy to say the ceremony will not be showing up on America’s Home Videos. It was a lovely ceremony and I was quite happy to be part of it.

For my part of the ceremony, not really sure what to call that actually, I spoke about the courage of love. To me, what true love really comes down to is acceptance. Not just the type of acceptance extended to us by colleagues and friends but true acceptance.

You see we all wear masks, we don’t show ourselves to each other, not really. We all have secrets we never share, with anyone. So when I say true love is acceptance, I mean the acceptance that occurs when you take the ultimate risk. When you drop all of the masks and defenses and let someone see the real you. When you show them what you really think, all of your strengths, your fears, the horrible parts of you. When you truly show the person you love the monster inside. Of course it’s only really us who sees what’s inside as a monster. We’re never as truly awful or as ugly as we believe. But when we stand there naked and defenseless before another, in all of our perceived ugliness, and that person accepts us, that is true love.

When two people can truly accept each other it’s a beautiful and magical thing. At the end of the day, it’s what we all want for ourselves, what we all hope we will find with another. I hope you have found it my friends and it’s brought you many happy days. ~ Rev Kane

Musings on a Sunday Night

Posted on May 1, 2017 by Michael Kane

Musings on a Sunday Night

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ~ Edgar Alan Poe

As usual on Sunday night I sat down to write my weekly post and frankly I’ve got nothing. Now, I’ve never let that stop me from writing before, so why stop now. It’s been a hectic last few weeks, a new job opportunity came my way that I needed to decide on, I’m in the process of moving and I’m finding being a full-time dean, a full-time blogger, author, writer and book salesman (marketing team), hiker, and super secret hero (damn, that was a secret) is wearing me down. Perhaps I need to take my own recent blog advice and just take a weekend, and I will but not for a few weeks. I’m in the middle of a move and on travel for work over the next two weeks and then I get to do something really amazing and officiate a friends wedding at the end of May. But that first weekend in June is all mine!!

What I find when I burn the candle at both ends is that it starts to get into my psyche and pull me down. I get less sleep, my mood tanks a bit, I eat badly and I lose focus but I can certainly tough out a couple of weeks. And sometimes friend that’s just what we have to do, happiness is an ongoing battle, it’s not like you hit it and then boom – happy forever! Wouldn’t that would be nice. But like fitness and wellness, happiness is a constant effort, that like the others provides really amazing benefits. I have been thinking a lot about that idea lately.

You see ten years ago a point like this would have me spiraling into darkness and depression that would take me weeks to fight my way out of back into the light. But now, because of the work I’ve done over the years I can ride this out and stay on an even keel. That’s why I talk and post about happiness, it’s to help you get to a similar place if you’re not there, and to help you stay there if you are there.

So have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Happiness is a Book Club

Posted on April 17, 2017 by Michael Kane

Happiness is a Book Club

There is nothing to writing. You just sit down at a typewriter and bleed. ~ Rev Kane

So, several months before I had published my book, Appalachian Trail Happiness, I got a note from a friend of a friend. She posted on Facebook to my friend that they should read my book for their book club, and have me come speak. I was both surprised and flattered, I mean heck, the book wasn’t even done yet!

Well, this past week I did in fact drive down to LA and join my friend’s book club for the evening. The whole day was great. I went down to Hermosa Beach in the afternoon and hung out with a friend and his kids. Had some Shel Silverstein verses thrown my way and had a couple of hours to catch up with my friend.

It was a gorgeous day and the drive up to Palos Verdes where my friend lives was lovely.

I’ve done a couple of presentations about my book, but this was my first book club. I have to confess to being a bit nervous about the whole thing. The idea of having folks right in your face who may not have liked the book was not a comforting feeling. I’m happy to say that they seemed very happy with the book, I even sold a couple of extra copies.

They also gave me a great suggestion, when I first wrote the book, the book was split into two sections, the main story and then a sort of glossary where I explained trail slang and told some stories. Eventually, in the final edit, I took the glossary and incorporated the stories and terms into the main part of the book. What the book club members told me was that the glossary would have been helpful either way. So I will be sharing that out on a post later tonight.

So I guess I’m an author, it’s funny to say that, but I have a book that’s out and published, that people are buying. I’m not making a lot of money off of the book, but I’m actually proud of 79,000+ ranking on Amazon’s author list. But I’m happy, it’s a start, the most significant step so far to becoming what I want to be, a full-time writer and speaker. So thank you very much to the book club members and in particular my high school friend Suanne who hosted, for helping add one more piece to that puzzle I’m working on.

Have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Some Other Adventure Posts You Might Enjoy!

Appalachian Trail Happiness: Trail Community

Appalachian Trail Happiness: Reader’s Favorite Posts

Quitting the Appalachian Trail

My Favorite Appalachian Trail Photos of 2015

Appalachian Trail Happiness: Precious Moments

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged Appalchian trail, author, book club, friends, happiness, los angeles, publishing, writing | Leave a comment

Happiness can be a Rollercoaster

Posted on March 20, 2017 by Michael Kane

Happiness can be a Roller Coaster

We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. ~ Frederick Keonig

Ahh the best laid plans. So this weekend was supposed to be two full-pack day hikes, replicating my hike in a couple of weeks to Havasu Falls in the Grand Canyon. Happily, the first day went really well, even under full pack my pace was really good. It was a beautiful sunny day.

I did still manage to find a little snow, it was about a half mile and a couple of hundred feet higher than it had been two weeks ago.

Of course off in the distance there was still snow above 5500 feet.

Coming off of the mountain I even ran into a couple of hikers who had done Havasu Falls and we had a really nice conversation about shared hikes and interests.

I headed back into town and ate a really great meal, or so I thought. Whether it was the leftover chili or the gumbo I’d just made something wasn’t right. That’s right, I poisoned myself. It came on hard and fast, my pulse rate went up, my blood pressure spiked and the next thing I know I was getting violently ill. It only lasted for about an hour but it was pretty intense and I crashed out pretty hard last night.

So, today I thought I was better off taking it easy and doing some writing. Some people might call it a bad weekend, but that’s where the choice comes in. I could choose to focus on the bad food and the sickness and the loss of a day of hiking. Or I could choose to focus on a really great day of hiking, the beautiful sunny days this weekend and a chance to get some writing done. I’m choosing to call it a good weekend, because being happy is about focusing on the positive. I hope you had a good weekend as well, if you didn’t, maybe you should take a minute and reconsider, perhaps you can decide to adjust your focus and maybe you had a happy weekend after all my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Sometimes You Just Need a Weekend

Posted on March 13, 2017 by Michael Kane

Sometimes You Just Need a Weekend

There is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Use both and overlook neither. ~ Alan Cohen

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve detailed that I’ve been struggling a bit lately. That doesn’t mean I’ve been sitting idly by and focusing on it. I go to work of course and then the gym and then I come home and work on my other job. That job of course is as a combination writer, blogger, brand developer and marketer for my book, have I mentioned I have a book for sale, Appalachian Trail Happiness, it’s getting good reviews you should pick up a copy. These many hats I possess eat up most of my days and weekends, particularly as I’m ramping up for my Havasu Falls trip and hiking more on the weekends.

So the fact is I’ve been really busy, I’ve had little to no downtime at all. This weekend the plan was to do my first full weight hike in preparation for the trip. I planned on getting up early Saturday morning and doing an 8 mile round trip with about 30 pounds on my back. Then Sunday would be my standard Sunday gym workout weightlifting (legs) and 4o minutes of cardio. But on Friday no less than 3 people asked me if I was ok, or why I was so low energy. I wrapped up my Friday gym workout and started to think about my morning hike. The more I thought about it, the less I was excited about it, the idea of losing an hour of sleep to the time change didn’t help either.

So, I did what I usually do and I listened to my body. I was tired, I’ve been working hard at the gym for the last few weeks and it was time to take a break. It wasn’t just physically time for a break, but I needed a mental break as well. I’ve had too many things flying around in my brain, too many little things nagging at my brain. What I’ve been describing as death by papercuts. So Friday night I goofed off and watched a couple of movies. Saturday I went in and did some grocery shopping including picking up a corned beef to make some corned beef and cabbage.

What I really spent Saturday and Sunday doing was decluttering my brain. So I addressed all of the little things that were floating around in my head. I straightened up the house, put away the laundry, all the way down to lining up my shoes. I went through piles of papers and boxes yet to have been unpacked since I moved in. I separated some coins and organized them. I cleaned up my fireplaces and stacked the last of the wood I have inside the house on the off chance that there is one last cool night before the summer heat comes in full blast.

I took some time to get my gear ready for my Havasu Falls trip. I aired out my equipment and hung my hammock as a test hang and to remind myself how to do it, it’s been awhile. It all went up quite well and so I decided to take a little rest in the hammock in the sun. That’s when the set up slipped loose and I dropped to the ground. The only thing I bruised was my ego, I’m committed to the rule of never hanging higher than I’m willing to fall. It was a good learning experience, it reminded me of a step I’d not taken in assembling the rigging. I also spent some time reading about the hike and the site and figuring out exactly what gear I’d need. My new point and shoot was also delivered and I’m excited about trying it out and bringing it on the trip.

Havasu Falls

The happiness lesson for this weekend was that sometimes you just need to stop. You need to take a break from all of the things you’re trying to accomplish to just take care of all of the little stuff. Get the slate cleaned up so that you can better focus on the important things. Cooking is always a good exercise for getting things right. Clearing my head was good, I realize I’m itching to make some changes. I’ll be moving in a couple of months, there are some new opportunities on the horizons. Life is good, rest helped, cooking helped and a few plates of really good corned beef and cabbage surely didn’t hurt.
~ Rev Kane

Happiness, Gossip & Comments

Posted on February 21, 2017 by Michael Kane

Happiness, Comments & Gossip

What I’ve found – and the older I get, the more I understand this and stand behind it – is, my whole life has been an exploration of telling the truth. It’s scary to be truthful, and it’s scary to reveal yourself, and I’m very attracted to doing things that scare me. ~ Jane Wiedlin

So I encountered something online today that I thought was worth sharing and talking about. I see a lot of really mean comments on social media these days. As someone who is on social media quite a bit I also get my fair share of these type of comments. My favorite one to talk about because of the sheer and utter silliness of it was related to a photo I shared of a sunset.

The comment on the photo when I posted it on Twitter was simply, “fake.” I ignored the comment, what was it meant to mean? Was it that the sky wasn’t real, lol? Ok, sure I know the person commenting was implying it was a Photoshop construction not a real photo. In the photo above, I’ve tweaked the contrast and saturation a little to get the image to reflect reality a bit more than the image that came out of the camera. But the comment really was only about one thing, this person wanted a reaction. He wanted to make me feel bad and get me to react. But why? What is missing in this person’s life that he needs to lash out negatively for attention? You can see this type of behavior in almost every comment section to any kind of article. Completely innocuous articles have comments that turn into horrid political dog fights. I find it incredibly sad.

Tonight I want to say, whatever it is they are missing, I hope they find it. I hope that they find peace and happiness in their life. I really hope that they will learn that being angry online will not solve their problems.

Trolls online remind me of people who gossip. People gossip because there is something missing in their lives. But we all get sucked into it, especially in office environments. I know it’s hard to step above it but we need to. Not just because it’s the right thing to do, but because it will make us happier. When we gossip, we know we are doing something we shouldn’t, it’s usually something negative and unnecessary and so we feel guilty and this diminishes our happiness.

So how to we keep ourselves and our co-workers in check. What I bumped into online today were three simple questions that we should ask ourselves before we talk about something, and before we post something online.

Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?

Is it true? Do you know for a fact that what you are about to say or post is accurate. Is the information from a reliable source, not sure, then don’t say or post it.

Is it kind? Is what you are about to say or post something that is mean spirited, will it make someone feel bad? If so, then why post or say it, what is the point?

Is it necessary? What is the point of what you are about to say or post. If you don’t need to say or post it, if it’s not true and/or kind, just stop. If more of us would employ these questions before we say or post something we’d all have happier days my friends.

~ Rev Kane

Trail Family Meeting on the Appalachian Trail

Posted on January 30, 2017 by Michael Kane

Trail Family Meeting on the Appalachian Trail

Only one who wanders finds a new path ~ Norwegian Proverb

So as I posted recently my friend Awesome is thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail. We hiked together on the AT back in 2015 and he instantly became trail family. Awesome’s week has been going well, he says his body is holding up well and he’s enjoying his hike. This week he made it up to the Top of Georgia Hostel and took a break.

Awesome

It had slipped my mind that another member of my trail family, my buddy Mau, was working at the hostel in Georgia. I got a great reminder when a text message came in from Awesome telling me they had just met. I was so excited to hear this and was glad that the two of them had met on the trail.

Mau and Rev Kane

I have stories about both of these fine gentlemen in my book that was just published, Appalachian Trail Happiness. I have an incredibly amount of respect for both of them, Mau who finished the trail in 2015 ad Awesome who’s on his way this year.

I miss my trail family, I miss being on the trail. I did a short hike on the PCT today, the only moments of true peace I seem to find are on the trail. Today was a particularly beautiful day, a combination of snow on the trail and sixty degree weather made for a great little hike.

I hope you are finding ways to get some peace, take care of yourself, it’s important, and have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Happiness and Anger Management

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Happiness and ghosts from the past

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