The Ministry of Happiness

Happiness and Simplifying Your Life

Posted on November 21, 2011 by Michael Kane

Happiness and Simplifying Your Life

But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus

The holidays are here, Halloween is already gone, Thanksgiving is upon us, Christmas and New Years within the blink of an eye. The next two months will be a whirlwind for most of us of engagements, parties, obligatory visits to family and friends, shopping for presents and the preparing of meals and dishes. We’ll drive and fly and ride in sleighs to grandmother’s house. We’ll get rained out, snowed out, stuck in ditches and airports. We’ll get tired and cranky and hugged and loved and we’ll be stressed and worn out before it’s all over. There is no better time of year to talk about two things, one staying above the depression that some people suffer and simplifying our lives.

First, the holidays are really hard on some of us, for me Thanksgiving is wonderful but Christmas takes a toll on me, there is no other time of year that I feel as depressed, bleak and alone as Christmas regardless of whether I’m home alone or surrounded by people I love. We all have these times and I’ve done a post on this before entitled Happiness, Exercise and Holiday Depression.

Second, a lot of what brings us trouble this time of year is the complicated nature of our lives during the holiday season. No one has ever said, I’m not feeling particularly good about things so I’m going to add a bunch of complications to my life. Simplifying our lives is always a way to bring about more happiness. So how do you simplify your life, typically in little ways, no one has ever created a simple life in one full-press effort, so you start small. In case you’re not sure where to start here’s a list of 72 ideas to simplify your life, take a look, give it a shot and have a happy day, a happy Thanksgiving and happy holidays my friends.

Happiness and Positive Vibes

Posted on November 14, 2011 by Michael Kane

Happiness and Positive Vibes

In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision. ~ Dalai Lama

So let’s get a little funky today, a friend recently shared with me an article from the Huffington Post on how you can increase your positive vibes.

From the article itself a short excerpt:

Apparently, positive vibes aren’t just for hippies. If you want in on the fun, here are some simple things you can do to build positive momentum toward a more happy and fulfilling life:

1) Keep a daily journal of three things you are thankful for. This works well first thing in the morning, or just before you go to bed.

2) Make it a practice to tell a spouse, partner or friend something you appreciate about them every day.

3) Look in the mirror when you are brushing your teeth, and think about something you have done well recently or something you like about yourself.

All good advice and the good way to start the day in a happy way, so give it a try to have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

The Oxford Happiness Inventory

Posted on November 11, 2011 by Michael Kane

The Oxford Happiness Inventory

Happiness is not ready-made, it comes from your effort ~ Dalai Lama

Below is the Oxford Happiness questionnaire developed by Michael Argyle and Peter Hills at Oxford University. No test is ever going to be completely accurate, but I like this one more than others, first because it is based on research, secondly because I think it takes a better look at true happiness instead of just using correlations from happiness research. A lot of these tests just give you higher points if you are married, either younger than 20 or over 50, or own pets etc….and by doing that they really miss what truly makes people happy which is how they feel about the world and what actions they take because of it. Not just because they belong to some group. So, enjoy the test and have a happy day my friends.

The Oxford Happiness Questionnaire was developed by psychologists Michael Argyle and Peter Hills at Oxford University. Take a few moments to take the survey. This is a good way to get a snapshot of your current level of happiness. You can even use your score to compare to your happiness level at some point in the future by taking the survey again. If you are using some of the interventions presented on this site to raise your happiness level, you can see whether your score on the Oxford Happiness Questionnaire goes up as a result.

Instructions

Below are a number of statements about happiness. Please indicate how much you agree or disagree with each by entering a number in the blank after each statement, according to the following scale:

1 = strongly disagree
2 = moderately disagree
3 = slightly disagree
4 = slightly agree
5 = moderately agree
6 = strongly agree

Please read the statements carefully, because some are phrased positively and others negatively. Don’t take too long over individual questions; there are no “right” or “wrong” answers (and no trick questions). The first answer that comes into your head is probably the right one for you. If you find some of the questions difficult, please give the answer that is true for you in general or for most of the time. Those statements marked with an ‘R’ will be scored in reverse.

The Questionnaire

1. I don’t feel particularly pleased with the way I am. (R) _____

2. I am intensely interested in other people. _____

3. I feel that life is very rewarding. _____

4. I have very warm feelings towards almost everyone. _____

5. I rarely wake up feeling rested. (R) _____

6. I am not particularly optimistic about the future. (R) _____

7. I find most things amusing. _____

8. I am always committed and involved. _____

9. Life is good. _____

10. I do not think that the world is a good place. (R) _____

11. I laugh a lot. _____

12. I am well satisfied about everything in my life. _____

13. I don’t think I look attractive. (R) _____

14. There is a gap between what I would like to do and what I have done. (R) _____

15. I am very happy. _____

16. I find beauty in some things. _____

17. I always have a cheerful effect on others. _____

18. I can fit in (find time for) everything I want to. _____

19. I feel that I am not especially in control of my life. (R) _____

20. I feel able to take anything on. _____

21. I feel fully mentally alert. _____

22. I often experience joy and elation. _____

23. I don’t find it easy to make decisions. (R) _____

24. I don’t have a particular sense of meaning and purpose in my life. (R) _____

25. I feel I have a great deal of energy. _____

26. I usually have a good influence on events. _____

27. I don’t have fun with other people. (R) _____

28. I don’t feel particularly healthy. (R) _____

29. I don’t have particularly happy memories of the past. (R) _____

Calculate your score

Step 1: Items marked (R) should be scored in reverse:

If you gave yourself a “1,” cross it out and change it to a “6.”

Change “2” to a “5”
Change “3” to a “4”
Change “4” to a “3”
Change “5” to a “2”
Change “6” to a “1”

Step 2: Add the numbers for all 29 questions. (Use the converted numbers for the 12 items that are reverse scored.)

Step 3: Divide by 29. So your happiness score = the total (from step 2) divided by 29.

We recommend you record your score and the date. Then you’ll have the option to compare your score now with your score at a later date. This can be especially helpful if you are trying some of the exercises, and actively working on increasing your happiness.

Scoring

The lowest possible score is 1 and the highest possible score is 6. (The average is around 4.30).

Reference
Hills, P., & Argyle, M. (2002). The Oxford Happiness Questionnaire: a compact scale for the measurement of psychological well-being. Personality and Individual Differences, 33, 1073-1082.

Happiness and a fresh start in the morning

Posted on November 7, 2011 by Michael Kane

Happiness and a fresh start in the morning

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. ~Mahatma Gandhi

This morning I’m going to turn to my favorite modern Taoist writer Deng Ming-Dao. We’ve discussed before that happiness is a choice https://ministryofhappiness.wordpress.com/2011/03/01/happiness-is-a-choice/ and that choice is no more evident than it is each morning as we wake up and start out days. So here’s one of Deng Ming-Dao’s daily meditations that addresses just that:

Interval

Seven geese pierce straight line over frigid
bay,
     Intervals between them constantly
          Equal,
     Pointed wings slash as if joined to an axle:
Today is the ideal moment between yesterday
and tomorrow.

Every morning means a fresh start on things. If yesterday was trying and exhausting, today is a given opportunity to do something different. If yesterday was full of triumph and satisfaction, today is a free chance to go further. All too often, we wake up, think of our schedules, and assume that we must act according to the same dull script. We need not. If we find what is unique to each day, we will have freshness and the greatest fulfillment possible.

Although we have talked about our relationship to Tao in terms of positioning and timing, the clear discerning of intervals is just as important. Geese keep a perfect distance between them to establish a dynamic equilibrium; so too must we fit in with the intervals of a day’s events. If we, like the geese, act in unison with these moments, with each other, and with the season, then we will be in total concert with Tao.

Today is poised between yesterday and tomorrow. What you may have started yesterday can be continued or interrupted today. What you want for tomorrow may be planted or destroyed today. Every morning is a new day. That observation is so simple as to seem trite. If we could observe the simple, there would be no need to study Tao.

Posted in Deng Ming-Dao, personal happiness | Tagged blog, deng ming-dao, happiness, life, morning, philosophy, poetry, taoism | 2 Comments

Girl Scouts: Science of Happiness Badge

Posted on November 1, 2011 by Michael Kane

The Girl Scouts have recently revamped all of their badges to try to bring them into the 21st Century. This included one that for obvious reasons that caught my attention, their new Science of Happiness Badge. I think this is a really wonderful acknowledgement by the Girl Scouts organization of the importance of this particular topic. Here is a link to an article talking about it and showing the new badge:

http://www.lilsugar.com/New-Girl-Scouts-Badges-19849277

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged blog, girl scouts, happiness, life, news, science of happiness | Leave a comment

Happiness and taking a break

Posted on October 31, 2011 by Michael Kane

Happiness and taking a break

We humans have lost the wisdom of genuinely resting and relaxing. We worry too much. We don’t allow our bodies to heal, and we don’t allow our minds and hearts to heal. ~ Thich Nhat Hahn

Sometimes you just need a break! We are all busy people; we have jobs, families, friends, pets, groups, bills, housework, hobbies, projects and a myriad of responsibilities. We get up in the morning and we frantically jump into our days often with no plan other than to try to get through the list of things that have to happen today. More often than not if your life is like mine, shortly after you get into working on that list something comes to completely derail what little planning you’ve done. I often joke that my to do list at work is both infinite in duration and only a suggestion.

When people ask me what I do for a living I tell them I’m a fireman because at times it seems that all I do is show up at work and put out fires all day, or at least until quitting time. You know quitting time right, the moment at work after your normal shift ends where you begin to work on what you were supposed to get accomplished that day. This isn’t a complaint, just an unfortunate statement of reality for most of us.

The frantic pace of our lives is not only driven by unpleasant things. Depending on your current state of affairs there is also driving kids around, helping out at school, dating, working on relationships, highly planned vacations and even going to the gym, hiking, biking, or other forms of recreation.

Recently I had been feeling pretty down, the normal set of things that can get at a person. The little things, being too busy, crap at work, etc… The somewhat bigger things, a relationship with a really amazing woman had ended, disagreements with friends and the normal family realities. Then of course the really big thing trying to figure out what all of it means, sometimes that just finds its way to the front of your brain for a time. Even the good things, my writing has kept me incredibly busy lately, there were photos to organize and even losing over 20 pounds and spending a lot of time at the gym had worn me down.

This in a word is one thing, stress. Now stress is actually a good thing for us, that little burst of adrenaline that exists as part of the flight or fight response can be very helpful in the jungle, tropical or urban. It can get your attention in a bad situation and even save your life. It’s when this reaction is happening frequently without the requisite physical need for action that our bodies start to suffer ill effects from stress. That is in fact where I seem to have ended up and returning to the very basic Taoist principles I asked myself the necessary questions. Are you safe? Are you eating right? Are you sleeping?

I was safe, I had been eating excessively right, I could be sleeping more and better. What I eventually came to was that although there were legitimate reasons for me to be feeling down, in the end I just need a break. Dreams of flying off for the weekend to a beach in Mexico in the sun flooded my thoughts but alas were not going to be reality. Finally I decided to just stop, so last weekend I did just that I stopped. From Friday until Sunday I didn’t go to the gym, I didn’t worry about getting any writing done, I didn’t make the normal phone calls I make to people, I ignored my work e-mail for the weekend. I went out and had a couple of really nice meals, I got a massage, I slept in late and even did a little reading over the weekend and of course I made room for dessert. It was nice, albeit for only a couple of days, to put away the responsibilities, worries and realities of life. Now of course none of those things disappeared, Monday found me back in the gym, chocolate and coca-colas had once again been banished from my diet and all of the other things were still staring me in the face. But I was clearer, rested, better able to make hard decisions and had gotten back some of that emotional cushion we all lose when we’re a little too far over the edge, in essence I was happier.

So remember friends, when you hit that point and you need it, find the way to take it, maybe that means relying heavily on a partner to take a bigger burden, or maybe it means slipping away or hell, maybe it’s just an ice cream sundae on the back porch, but when you need it, increase your happiness, take a break and have a happy day my friends
~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged blog, energize, happiness, happy, life, peace, relaxation, stress | Leave a comment

Time for a happiness inventory

Posted on October 24, 2011 by Michael Kane

Time for a happiness inventory

So as you are reading this on this wonderful Monday morning I am going to ask you to do something. Oh, not for me of course, but for you, I want you to take a happiness inventory. What’s that? Well, it’s taking a little bit of time to figure out how happy you are. There is no absolute formal way to do this, to some degree my friends we are making this up as we go on this journey we’re taking together.

I decided to write about this today because this is something I need to do as much as any of you. It’s good to do every once in a while, but especially good to do if you’re feeling out of sorts like I have been recently. So let’s run through a series of questions to see how we are all doing.

First, on a scale of one to ten, how happy do you feel at this moment?

Second, if it’s not at least a nine, then can you identify three things that are currently detracting from your happiness?

We’ll get back to them in a bit, can you name three things that make you happier?

When is the last time you did any of the things you’ve just listed? If it’s not recently, than how soon can you do some of them?

Back to the basics, are your basic needs being met, specifically are you eating right, sleeping enough and getting some exercise?

Are there any new or excessive stressors in your life right now?

Now go back to the earlier list in the personal inventory, the three things that are detracting from your happiness. Is there anything you can do about these things? If it’s a person, can you arrange things so that you can minimize contact or if it’s severe, is it possible to stand up and truly address the issue? Sometimes our long-term happiness means making hard choices but if nothing else time and distance can help.

Thinking about that list and about the stressors you can identify ways in which you can deal with them? Then of course the hard part, either let them go, or deal with them. As always friends if you need someone to listen or to help you figure this part out drop me a note and I’ll do what I can for you the address is happinesskane@aol.com.

Finally remember, it will get better, it will rarely be easy, but if you take the positive steps you know you have to take, it will get better. I hope this personal happiness inventory helped and have a happy day my friends!

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged blog, exercise, happiness, happy, life, personal inventory, philosophy, stress | 1 Comment

Happiness and Expectations

Posted on October 17, 2011 by Michael Kane

I think it is a true thing that your happiness is primarily determined by one person, you. At the end of it all, we determine how we perceive our world; we decide whether what just happened was good or bad, or how we will react to it. It is our decision alone to determine whether or not we will face the day smiling, frowning, whether we’ll be present in the moment or float through the day worrying about other things. However, not everyone, and to be honest I’m in this crowd, is to the point of self actualization in their life where the actions of other people don’t impact them.

We’ve talked before about taking responsibility, how to keep others from bringing you down. The positive effects of smiling, focusing on the good things, and what being kind to others and forgiveness can do for us personally. In all of our discussions we’ve talked about finding ways around others in order to retain or gain our own happiness.

Today I want to talk about a little different perspective on things; sure there will always be people we have to work around to be happy. However, sometimes we have to give people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes we have to let people actually exceed our expectations. I know it’s not an easy thing, particularly when people have let you down many times before in your life. It is worth a try though because when it happens, when someone does something positive, something you were so sure they would not do, it’s a magnificent and wonderful feeling. Have a happy day my friends.

Posted in Dalai Lama, personal happiness | Tagged expectations, happiness, happy, life, philosophy, positive, smiling | 2 Comments

Happiness and a Plan

Posted on October 10, 2011 by Michael Kane

So recently I picked up Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project book, I’ve shared her website with you before. Gretchen’s basic premise is that you have to plan for your happiness, a pretty good idea. So today I’m going to share with you my current plan and ask you to think about your plan as well. This whole discussion all reminds me of the typical conversation I have with students about their career direction. It goes like this:

Me: So what career are you thinking might work for you?

Student: I don’t know.

Me: Ok, so what are you doing to figure it out.

Student: I’m taking some classes.

Me: Like English and Math that you’d need for any major?

Student: Yeah.

Me: Are you doing anything else?

Student: Not really.

This conversation always comes round to two things, one decisions don’t just magically get made. Second, if we don’t think, plan and then act, then are decisions are taken away from us. One of the things that we seem not to do is to take time to think about things. Like the students, I would ask you, have you ever taken even 20 minutes to just sit and think, what would make you happier? Just some time to sit and think about it, then make a plan and then put it into action. This is not an easy thing to do but if you want to be happier, or lose weight, or gain knowledge then it takes work, there are no magic solutions.

Currently for me, I know what will make me happier. That would be to be writing full-time or at least half-time while also consulting and speaking, the 9 to 5 thing is just not cutting it for me anymore. So I took some time to think and after that to plan. My plan to establish a couple of blogs, deepen my expertise in a couple of areas, start doing more speaking engagements and then publish some books. I’m on my way friends and since you’re reading this, well, you’re participating in the plan and yes that means I expect you to buy books when they come out.

I hope you find the time to think, the space to plan and the will to take action. I wish for the best you in this endeavor and if I can help, let me know. Have a happy day my friends!

Posted in happiness resources, personal happiness | Tagged gretchen rubin, happiness, happiness project, happy, life, philosophy, planning | Leave a comment

Can America be Number One in Happiness?

Posted on October 9, 2011 by Michael Kane

Can America be Number One in Happiness?

Here is an interesting piece from the NY Times about whether GDP should be the appropriate measure of our success as a nation and how/why it should be happiness. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we lived in the happiest nation on earth? I know I’m in favor, check out the article, the link is below:

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/09/opinion/sunday/gdp-doesnt-measure-happiness.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all%3Fsrc%3Dtp&smid=fb-share

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged america, GDP, gross domestic happiness, happiness, happy, new york times, news, pursuit of happiness | Leave a comment

The Ministry of Happiness

Happiness and Simplifying Your Life

Other Posts You Will Enjoy!

Happiness and Positive Vibes

Happiness and Positive Vibes

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

The Oxford Happiness Inventory

The Oxford Happiness Inventory

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

Happiness and a fresh start in the morning

Girl Scouts: Science of Happiness Badge

Happiness and taking a break

Happiness and taking a break

Time for a happiness inventory

Happiness and Expectations

Happiness and a Plan

Can America be Number One in Happiness?

Can America be Number One in Happiness?

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