Truth and Honesty Lead to Happiness

Truth and Honesty Lead to Happiness

Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier.  The way it actually works is the reverse.  You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.  ~ Margaret Young

honesty

It’s important in our lives to have someone outside of us who can reflect honesty back upon us.  We all lie to ourselves, I don’t eat that much, I don’t drink a lot of coffee, I get enough sleep, we all tell ourselves things that are not true.  Most of these are innocuous lies that don’t have much impact, but some of these lies to impinge upon our happiness.  I serve this role for my friends, perhaps a bit more vigorously than I need to, but in the end I am the one person many of my friends know will tell them the truth no matter what the consequences.  Of course this also leads to the other side of the coin, they will often not ask me questions because they are afraid of the answer.  However this is a trade-off I accept as it seems that the questions they avoid are a lot less serious than the ones they ask.

I remember back in graduate school I had become friends with a really pretty undergraduate, I had a bit of a crush on her but it was obvious that was never going anywhere and she was a lot of fun to hang out with.  One day, excitedly she rushed up to me and asked, “How do you like my new hairdo?”  “It looks like shit,” I replied and she burst into tears and called me several names and pointed out that I was a mean evil bastard.  You see she’d been getting compliments all day on her new hair cut.  A funny thing happened when she related this story to her friends, some started to back track on their previous compliments.  You see I was the bad guy so they weren’t the ones who were hurting her feelings.  In the end it came out, the hair cut wasn’t so great.

Now granted I could have been more diplomatic in my response, but in the end she became one of those people who knew she could trust to tell her the truth.  We all need these people in our lives because we can’t move forward in our pursuit of happiness without a true accounting of what our life really is at present.  So find some honest reflection in yourself or another and I promise you’ll have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

 

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Our Best Happiness Posts of 2015

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Why I’m Happy Right Now!

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Happiness is Being Grateful

 Happiness is Being Grateful

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Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude. ~ Denis Waitley

One of the ways in which you can improve you level of happiness is to be grateful for the things you have.  Recently on the campus where I work one of our instructors is running a holiday health competition.  In this competition you get points for various activities like exercising, sleeping enough, eating right and for expressing how grateful you are for something each day.  A really amazing combination of showing gratitude while also doing other behaviors to make yourself more healthy, in itself, another way to increase your level of happiness.

In searching around the web I found a site that provides ten steps to increasing your level of gratitude and by connection your happiness, the site references a study that shows that being grateful can increase your happiness.  Take a look at the article it offers some great advice.

Ten Grateful Steps to Happiness

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Some other great pieces!

Quotes about Happiness, Gratitude & Kindness

Friends, Joy, Gratitude & Transitions

Videos on Happiness, Gratitude & Kindness

 

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A Heart Warming Story to Kick off your Monday

A Heart Warming Story to Kick off your Monday

Jorge Munoz has been nominated as a CNN Hero and he explains how although he is not paid for his effort he has a bank account full of smiles.  A concrete example of how giving to others can help increase your own happiness in today’s world.  You don’t have to do something at the level that Jorge has undertaken but you can do something small.  At the college where I work, occasionally I find a student in line in front of me at the cafeteria digging for money, sometimes it’s an extra nickel or quarter, and sometimes they’ve forgotten or can’t find their cash.  So I’ll just pay for their lunch, it feels good to help someone out but the best part is how freaked out and happy they always are when it happens.   So, here is Jorge’s story and if you’re having a bad Monday, try doing something nice for someone else.  Who knows, on another bad Monday maybe someone will do something nice for you.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/10/28/munoz.sharing/index.html?hpt=Sbin

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Another Happiness Resource

In my ongoing quest to find you additional happiness resources I came across the happiness project.  Apparently a film project has morphed into a larger project to work on people’s happiness including curriculum for children.   The site also contains several articles and some interesting links, enjoy.

http://www.projecthappiness.com/

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Happiness, Science and Meditation

Happiness, Science and Meditation

meditation

Meditation is the dissolution of thoughts in Eternal awareness or Pure consciousness without objectification, knowing without thinking, merging finitude in infinity. ~ Voltaire

Recently there have been a number of articles that have come out that once again confirm some of the significant benefits that come from meditation, a theme I will come back to soon with a longer post.  What I would like to say about it today is that meditation is not some mystical process, it is not religious in any way.  In fact, when we dream and when we day-dream even, we have entered into something very near a meditative state.  Meditation is a really natural process but the easiest way to start is to just take a few minutes either at the beginning or the end of your day, to just sit quietly and let the world melt away.

The first link I’m providing you today is an old article from Wired magazine in regards to some of the scientific work that was being done with the Dalai Lama and other Buddhist monks not just on the effects of meditation, but how meditation can increase your happiness, enjoy.

Here are a few other links to the benefits of meditation:

Seven Health Benefits of meditation

What happens to the brain when you meditate

Meditation Health Benefits

Mindfulness Meditation Benefits

4-7-8 Breathing Method

 

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The Need and Beauty of Quiet & Silence

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Focus on the Good Things

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Indecision & Procrastination, the Enemies of Happiness

Indecision & Procrastination, the Enemies of Happiness

Procrastination makes the easy things hard, hard things harder
~ Mason Cooley

Indecision is a thief that steals our success, our confidence, our time and by extension our happiness.   Many times we procrastinate and I don’t mean when we decide to wait until half-time to take out the garbage.  I’m talking about when we put off taking that vacation we need, writing that letter to a friend we’ve been meaning to write, apologizing to someone we’ve hurt or starting back taking that walk each night after dinner.   In particular we put off the steps we need to take to do the big things in life, the changes, the new things, those things that stretch us out of our comfort zone.   Procrastinating those things that can make our life better and us happier, ends up making things worse and diminishing our happiness.  So today, do one of those things, force yourself out to the gym, make that phone call, write that letter, take that walk or throw away the junk food in your house.  And now a bit of wisdom on this front by Deng Ming-Dao:

Don’t be afraid to explore;
Without exploration there are no discoveries.
Don’t be afraid of partial solutions;
Without the tentative there is no accomplishment.

Indecision and procrastination are corrosive habits.  Those who wait for every little thing to be perfect before they embark on a project or who dislike the compromise of a partial solution are among the least happy.  Ideal circumstances are seldom given to anyone for an undertaking.  Instead there is uncertainty in every situation.  The wise are those who can wrest great advantage from circumstances opaque to everyone else.

Wanting everything in life to be perfect before you take action is like wanting to reach a destination without travel.  For those who follow Tao, travel is every bit as important as the destination.  One step after another: That is still central to the wisdom of Tao.

Every day passes whether you participate or not.  If you are not careful, years will go by and you will only have regrets.  If you cannot solve a problem all at once, at least make a stab at it.  Reduce your problems into smaller, more manageable packages, and you can make measurable progress toward achievement.  If you wait for everything to be perfect according to your preconceived plans, then you may well wait forever.  If you go out and work with the current of life, you may find that success comes from building upon small things.

Other Posts You’ll Like

The Wisdom of the Dalai Lama

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Happiness & Balance

 

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Balance: The Wisdom of Deng Ming-Dao

Balance: The Wisdom of Deng Ming-Dao

Balance is a concept we will come back to time and time again on this blog.   Even in attaining happiness, everything has to be done in it’s measure, all aspects of your life must be balanced.  This is something we all understand intellectually but often fail to achieve in our life.  Of course I’m being a little hypocritical as I’m writing this after coming home from working an eleven hour day.  So I return to my reading for the day, and share my daily meditation with you courtesy of Deng Ming-Dao.

Balance

Summer withered grass to flaxen yellow,
Scorched leaves to brittle paper,
Dried lakes to cracked clay.

Chill autumn brought little relief-
     But with the early gentle rains,
     The earth’s fissure softened
     And desiccated plans began to dissolve.
Slowly, balance comes once again.

Many cultures describe old people as having seen many winters.  These elders have seen many cycles come and go, and their wisdom comes from long observation of life’s rising and falling.  If we have a long-range view, then we realize that equilibrium comes in the course of nature’s progression.  Nature does not achieve balance by keeping to one level.  Rather, elements and seasons alternate with one another in succession.  Balance, as defined by Tao, is not stasis but a dynamic process of many overlapping alternations; even if some phases seem wildly excessive, they are balanced by others.

Everything has its place.  Everything has its season.  As events turn, balance is to know what is here, what is coming and how to be in perfect harmony with it.  Then one attains a state of sublimity that cannot be challenged.

Other Posts You’ll Like

The Wisdom of the Dalai Lama

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Happiness & Balance

 

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Monday Morning Guide to Happiness

To start off your Monday morning I’m providing a link to a site I have referenced before, Zen Habits.  It’s a great site and the particular page I’m sending to you today is the happiness guide.  If you posted this list on your wall and followed it I can assure you, double your money back guarantee, that your life would be approved.  Why I like this list so much is its simplicity and solid grounding in common sense.  So start your week off with a little help on the path to happiness.

http://zenhabits.net/the-only-guide-to-happiness-youll-ever-need/

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The Science of Happiness

 The Science of Happiness

happiness, alive day

I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse.  I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.  ~J.D. Salinger

I came across an article recently in the LA Times by Karen Kaplan centered on the science of happiness.   From the article,

 “Among the many wise things said by President Abraham Lincoln is this take on happiness: A person will be just about as happy as he makes up his mind to be.

That sentiment is somewhat controversial among psychologists and other scientists. Some experts believe that long-term happiness is essentially unchangeable, thanks to one’s genes and personality. (One study has pegged DNA as the source of 44% to 52% of one’s happiness.) Many economists and other experts believe, like Lincoln, that people can take steps to become more — or less — happy.”

Like most things this comes back to the old argument is it nature or nurture but I would put forward that in fact, the argument is irrelevant.  You may have a predisposition to be happier or sadder than others but that is just a starting point.  Regardless of this starting point, which would be normal for you, you can always find ways to make your life happier, hell for most of us that could include things as simple as getting enough sleep.

The article also went on to list a set of factors that add to or detract from our happiness.  I think most are pretty obvious but for your own edification here is the list:

  • Having an emotionally stable spouse
  • Helping others
  • Prioritizing family
  • Have an active social life
  • Get regular exercise

This list strikes me as pretty simple as it focuses on reducing stress (stable relationships, enjoying life and exercising) and doing things that you can feel proud of (taking care of others).  However as with most things very often it is the simple things that best help us achieve our goals.

Below is the link to the LA Times piece:

http://articles.latimes.com/2010/oct/01/news/la-heb-happiness-study-20101004

 

Other Posts You’ll Enjoy!

Happiness Resources – Deeper Reading

Happiness Resources – How to be Happy

Happiness Resources – The Power of Hugs

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The Dalai Lama will be live from Stanford this week

Dalai Lama

His Holiness the Dalai Lama will be participating in three public events at Stanford University in Palo Alto, California, USA, on October 14th and 15th, 2010. All three events will be webcast live. Event and webcast information is available at http://dalailama.stanford.edu/
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