The Ministry of Happiness

My Bucket List

Posted on September 18, 2019 by Michael Kane

My Bucket List

My Polar Bear Selfie

The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams. ~ Oprah Winfrey

I remember writing my first bucket list, it was almost thirty years ago. I only put on twenty items, my thinking was not as expansive as it is these days. I would write additional bucket lists over the years as the items on my earlier lists were completed. Not that that I’ve ever completed all of them, the first item on the list has always been on the list.

Aurora while photographing Polar Bears in the Arctic

However, I knew even when I wrote the first list, I knew as a child that I always wanted to travel. My curiosity is immense and likely insatiable, I have always realized that I’ve wanted to see everything, know everything, as impossible as that obviously would be in a single or even multiple lifetimes. But that hasn’t stopped me from trying and that will be obvious from my list. The list is heavy on places, but that shouldn’t be seen as limiting, because the journey to these places, that travel, provides experiences that are priceless. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade my first view of the Treasury Building in Petra, peeking through the Siq, camels kneeling on the ground for anything. But as amazing as that vision was, it was the journey to Petra that was so fantastic. My first time in a Middle Eastern country, my days in Wadi Rum with the Bedouin, conversations with cab drivers and locals, almost driving into an ISIS attack that killed 30 people, and bobbing like a cork in the Dead Sea. All of those experiences were wrapped up in the seed of one item on the bucket list, going to Petra. Although swimming in the Dead Sea had also long been on my list.

Rev Kane at Petra

So, I’m sharing my list with you tonight (in no order of importance), using this post as a reason to reconstruct a new one, in hopes it will inspire you as well my friends. Not just to draw up your own list, which I hope you will do. Writing the list is a fun little dreaming exercise of its own. But even more importantly in hopes that in creating your list, in reading my own adventures, that you’ll start checking off items on your own list and have happier days my friends. ~ Rev Kane

My Bucket List

See the Great Pyramid at Giza
Travel to outer space
Complete the Appalachian Trail
Hike at least 500 miles on the Pacific Crest Trail
Hike the Western Highland Way in Scotland
Hike in the Atlas Mountains in Morocco
Hike the Overland Track in Australia
Hike 500km on the Te Araroa trail in New Zealand
Hike to Machu Pichu
Hike in Patagonia
Do a walking tour in Kenya
Hike at least 500 miles on the Trans-Canada Trail
Bicycle across the United States
See Stonehenge
Walk on the Glaciers of Greenland
Go to Iceland
See Mount McKinley
Take an Ocean Voyage
Kayak the coast of California
Kayak the Zambezi River
See mountain Gorillas in the wild
See an elephant in the wild
See a lion in the wild
See a hippo in the wild
See a right whale in the wild
See a grizzly bear in the wild
See a tiger in the wild
See a snow leopard
Go on a bigfoot expedition
Photograph the great migration
Swim in the Devil’s Pool at Victoria Falls
See Iguazu Falls in Brazil
Do a cage dive with Great White Sharks
See a Rhino in the wild
Go to Marrakesh (done)
Go to Tangier (done)
Hike the Muir Trail
Hike Rim to Rim at the Grand Canyon
Photograph the Wave in Arizona
Go to Tonga
Go to Tuvalu
Go to the Cook Islands
Visit Cappadocia, Turkey
Go to Up Helly Aa
Go to Angkor Wat
Go to the Great Barrier Reef
Visit Australia
Go to Antarctica
Visit the Galapagos Islands
Visit Vietnam
Go to Carnival in Salvador de Bahia, Brazil
Surf a sand dune in Fortaleza, Brazil
Visit Italy
See the Taj Mahal
Backpack in India
Backpack in Thailand
Go to Bangkok
Hike Rainbow Mountain in Peru
Visit Norway
Attend Diwali in India
Run with the Bulls in Spain
Visit Cuba
Take a hot air balloon ride
Skydive
Do Peyote
Do Ayahuasca
Search for a buried treasure
Do a century bicycle ride
Float in a sensory deprivation tank
Go to Timbuktu
Go to the Louvre Museum
Go to the Van Gogh Museum
Climb Kilimanjaro
On the same day, sunrise from Mt. Whitney, sunrise from Death Valley
Go to Glacier National Park
Watch a game at Wrigley Field (Done)
Swim in a Great Lake
Learn how to surf
Go to Spanish language school in Oaxaca (done)
Oaxaca for Day of the Dead (done)
See an Orca in the wild
Meet a penguin
Photograph Antelope Canyon in Arizona
Hang with Grey Whales in Baja
Visit Bhutan
Photograph the race track in Death Valley
Go Parasailing
Learn how to play the saxophone
Learn Akido
Publish a book of fiction
Catch a stage of the Tour De France live
Swim in Jellyfish Lake – Palau
Start a business
Too personal to post
Hike to Kuang Si Falls in Laos
Take a boat from Manaus to Fortaleza, Brazil on the Amazon
Vagabond for at least 3 months
Create an art prank like fairy houses
Find a meteorite
Swim in Iceland’s Blue Lagoon

Have any better suggestions, add them in the comments ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged adventure, be happy, bucket list, dreams, goals, happiness, happy, hiking, my bucket list, travel | Leave a comment

Happiness & gratitude for the small things

Posted on September 17, 2019 by Michael Kane

Happiness & gratitude for the small things

When I started counting my blessings my whole life turned around
~ Willie Nelson

Sometimes we make things harder than we have to, we look for complicated ways to get the things we want, even happiness. Maybe if we just paid attention to the little things, the good things that happen to us each day, we might find we have all we need to make us happy.

Just a few of the things that made me smile today:

* Seeing a post I missed with my little niece in her Halloween costume
* Having a Ministry of Happiness post go viral
* Having a few people tell me that my leaving my job is a loss for my school
* Potstickers
* A pleasant walk on a surprisingly warn November day
* Packing for a mini vacation I’m taking for the next few days

Take a few minutes and make your own list and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged blog, count your blessings, gratitude, happiness, kindness, life, quotes, writing | 4 Comments

Happiness is Poetry: Wolfgang Carstens

Posted on September 15, 2019 by Michael Kane

Happiness is Poetry: Wolfgang Carstens

Tonight a poet recommended to me by Adrian Manning, his name is Wolfgang Carstens. Wolfgang is a seriously interesting guy, his words are angular, sharp, they seem revel in the terror of honesty, good stuff. He’s also interesting in the different formats he uses to show his work. So here’s a written piece, a series of his work being read by him and finally an illustrated poem. Take a look, enjoy and have a happy day my friends
~ Rev Kane

Wolfgang Carstens was kind enough to provide us with some more material, so here’s a live reading of Enjoy Oblivion, in front an audience at Brittany’s Lounge, enjoy!

THROWING GUTTER BALLS

(as published in The Abyss Gazes Also)

what if life had bumper-rails

like alleys do when children

go bowling—so that

everybody stayed true

to their course.

goals would be achieved.

dreams would come true.

nobody would be derailed.

nobody would disappear

into the gutter.

life would be easy,

safe,

predictable

and boring.

thankfully,

there are no bumpers in life.

here, from our birth

until our death,

we throw gutter ball

after gutter ball

until finally, exasperated,

we return our rented shoes,

crumple our scorecards

and slink quietly from the alley.

*******************************

Wolfgang Carstens

Readings some of his own work

A question of Nothingness and a couple of others

*******************************

Some other good reading…

Happiness is Poetry: Hosho McCreesh

Happiness is Poetry: Doug Draime

Happiness is Poetry: Rilke

Posted in Happiness is Poetry | Tagged bukowski, doug draime, happiness, hosho mccreesh, poems, poetry, Rilke, video, wolfgang carstens, writing | 2 Comments

Happy Alive Day!!!

Posted on September 14, 2019 by Michael Kane

Happy Alive Day!!!

Hello friends, recently I was made aware that a friend was celebrating the 30th anniversary of her Alive Day. What she was celebrating was 30 years from a failed suicide attempt. This really hit me, I have no idea if I’m unique given its prevalence, but there has been a lot of suicide around me in my life. Growing up three kids in my neighborhood killed themselves within weeks of each other, years later one of their nephews would also kill himself. Two of my friends have had sons who have committed suicide and I myself at one point as a teenager stuck a shotgun in my mouth and happily/luckily couldn’t pull the trigger. Having been someone who has suffered from depression in the past I know how deep the well is that people can find themselves in, and how impossible it seems at that point that you’ll ever get out.

The reason why my friend’s Alive Day is such an awesome thing is that it shows that not only is there hope, not only can things get better, but that they can get so much better that you actually can celebrate being alive. My friend is a sampler of life, one of those people who is at the fire hose of life experience with her mouth wide open trying to drink it all in. She has a great life, a job where she helps people, great friends and a wonderful partner! Pretty much the antithesis of someone who sees no reason to live.

I think friends if you never have before, or never choose to again I’d like you to share this post. If this idea, if the reality that there are real people out there who have come this far, gives one person enough hope to not try and kill themselves, we’ve all done an amazing thing together.

Ideas like this are the reason I started the Ministry of Happiness, my hope is that we all can help each other live happier lives, have happier days. I have also learned that combat veterans also celebrate Alive Days , based on near death experiences in combat. So here’s a thought I have, it doesn’t have to have been a suicide attempt, but I think we all have a significant day or event in the past that made us realize how precious life is, what a gift it is for all of us. Take that day, or pick a date that’s near enough and celebrate your own Alive Day! Let’s spread this idea and all have happier days my friends and thank you all for being part of this. ~ Rev Kane

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Posted in personal happiness | Tagged affirmation, alive day, depression, happiness, happy, help, life, life affirming, suicide, veterans | Leave a comment

Happiness is Making Connections and Having an Impact

Posted on September 12, 2019 by Michael Kane

Happiness is Making Connections and Having an Impact

Where there is no human connection, there is no compassion. Without compassion, then community, commitment, loving-kindness, human understanding and peace all shrivel. Individuals become isolated, the isolated turn cruel and the tragic hovers in the forms of domestic and civil violence. Art and literature are antidotes to that. ~ Susan Vreeland

Looking for Inspiration

So it’s Saturday night and I’m going to be out of town for a few days starting tomorrow so I needed to get my Sunday night post nailed down and I had NOTHING! I’m not in a mood to write an uplifting and positive post, because honestly it’s been a long week. I had surgery on Monday and it seems to have gone ok, but the antibiotics I’m taking are really tearing up my stomach, but I’m adjusting. I’m having to sleep on my left side and it’s been wholly uncomfortable and I’m not sleeping well. I’ve also hit that point before an adventure where I haven’t quite left my old life and haven’t quite entered my new life and so right now I just have a million things to do and I’m feeling just a bit overwhelmed and in limbo.

Then earlier this week one of the few celebrities I truly look up to, Anthony Bourdain committed suicide. Like a lot of other people his stories touched me, he was a kindred spirit in his outlook about the world and I’ll miss having him out there. His passing has really made me sad. I know that feeling of hopelessness and feeling completely disconnected from the world and whenever my mood shifts to the darker side of things that’s the way I feel. I’m sorry he couldn’t find his way back from that abyss. If you find yourself there friends reach, people care, I promise. If nothing else you can always reach out to the suicide prevention hotline., by phone or even by chat.

Call 1-800-273-8255

Available 24 hours everyday

So all of this is swirling around in my head tonight and I can’t figure out what to write and then bam, I get a message. The message was in the form of a poem from someone I grew up with. The poem talked about how he joined our lunch discussions in high school, little did I know it had been to escape bullies. We reconnected in the last year or so and he liked my poetry, even served as a reader for my book of poetry and recently he began sharing his own poetry, so we’ve reconnected on a whole new level. His message gave me some credit for inspiring him to share his words and it really deeply touched me to know that I had that effect on him in any way. It’s funny how we often don’t know the impact we have on the people around us.

Making connections and having impacts

So that’s what I want to talk about tonight, connection and impact. Recently I was at a friend’s house and I was talking with someone who I’ve met before but hadn’t really talked with in detail. She started asking about my life and after a time said to her husband, “we’re living wrong.” Now I disagree with the statement but I got the sentiment, she wants to be doing the type of things I do. That’s what I hope this blog does for people at one level, that by writing about what I do and how I do it, others may gain some inspiration to create their own adventures and live happier lives and I’m always available for individual advice on how to do it.

A hug to be happy

Tell someone they mattered

As an educator, I’ve been fortunate enough a couple of times to have students return after a time and tell me about the positive impact I’ve had on their life. There is little in life that is as satisfying as those moments. It’s a really special thing to know you’ve had that kind of positive impact on another human’s life and unfortunately at times I forget that as an educator and a writer, that’s what I’m trying to do and sometimes I’m successful.

The thing is that we often have this impact on people without trying or ever even knowing about it and that’s ok. Sure, it’s magnificent when we find out, and the lesson is there that you need to tell the people who have inspired you, who’ve meant something to you. You will be doing them an incredible kindness. But we inspire people by our example. By living a life that has purpose, that is about living, not just existing, you show others how important it is to live that way and the happiness and fulfillment it can bring. You become an example for others, especially your children. There is a parallel from the education world, parents who go to college and include their children in their homework sessions and make them feel apart of the process, hugely increase the chance those kids will also go to college. Similarly, parents who live a purposeful and happy life are more likely to raise children with a similar outlook.

Living Fully and Reaching Out

The companion piece to living fully is to make connections, to connect with those who come along and to reach out to those who you can have an impact on. In my line of work I get access to students, faculty and even younger managers who I can reach out to and help find their path. But we all have people in our lives where this opportunity presents itself, jump on it friends. Take the time to listen, to care and to impart some wisdom if you have it to give, you never know how impactful your time and attention can be for someone.

Tonight has certainly been one of those nights where in writing this blog I hopefully gave you something worth reading but selfishly I gained more out of it than I gave. Regardless, I hope it helps you have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged adventure, anthony bourdain, depression, friends, having an impact, making connections, poetry, travel, writing | Leave a comment

This is really hard, I’m Really Happy

Posted on September 10, 2019 by Michael Kane

Hello friends a quick note Day 4 at Neels Gap really amazing trip so far.

Posted in personal happiness | 2 Comments

My New Book: Athena’s Addict

Posted on September 8, 2019 by Michael Kane

My New Book: Athena’s Addict

The wound is the place where the light enters into you. ~ Rumi

This is the single most deeply personal post I will likely ever do on the Ministry of Happiness. As I have talked about before, this blog started as a way to get out information about fighting depression and living a happier life. It has morphed over the years to serve that original mission by utilizing my own daily life as a vehicle for me to relate my own struggles, travels, victories and from time to time, like when my granny died and tonight, to illuminate something deeply personal in my life.

My latest book of poetry has been published, Athena’s Addict is live on Amazon in paperback and Kindle versions. This book is a deeply personal work, all of the poems in the book, 75 I believe, are all about one woman. These poems cover fifteen years of a “relationship” that went from acquaintance to love, to madness and back again, and now after fifteen or so years has turned into what I call Christmas Card friends. A term I use to describe those relationships we have with folks where all we do is say happy birthday and Merry Christmas and not much else. This is what I’ve written on the back of the book.

It was the best of times
it was the worst of times
the highest of highs
the lowest of lows
and through it all
my broken heart kept beating
this work, these poems, this book
my attempt at healing
a torn, tattered and broken organ
recovery through art

This woman I’ve written two books about, the first is a novel that will never see the light of day, did some amazing things for me. She imbued me with a confidence I never thought I could possess. Secondly, and most importantly, she accepted me in a way no one else ever has, and she accepted my words. For no reason I can identify, I was immediately willing to share my poetry with her and she appreciated it, criticized and accepted it. Because of her acceptance and later similar acceptance from my friend Shevonna, I came to be willing to share my writing and even to read publicly. The 75 poems in the book, selected works from the over 250 poems I’ve written about her, are as raw as my writing gets. Some express how much I loved her, some how angry I’ve been at her, gratitude, attraction, sex, dreams and jealousy are all well represented. She also broke my heart in multiple ways and multiple times, I’ve she more tears over her than anything else in my life. Finally, truly, she is the only person, the only thing that truly almost broke me. Had it not been for my good friend Kara, I’m not sure I would have survived her.

Rev Kane in his first year at Burning Man and addict tattoo on his arm

For those of you who have read much of my poetry on the blog or on Facebook you know her as the woman with the hazel eyes. She was the impossible woman, well before Dr. Who ever conceived of the idea, she is/was very likely the love of my life. She quite possibly has left me incapable of ever loving again, although I hope that I’m wrong. Our relationship was madness and addiction, we are forever connected, she married someone else on my birthday. The poems in the book tell the story more aptly than any narrative ever could.

Over the last two years I’ve finally dealt with the emotional and psychic complexities and realities of her and I, the reality that we have become Christmas Card friends and the haunting reality and horror of the words, what if. The book in some ways is a level of closure for me, not complete, I don’t think I’ll ever get there, but enough that I feel whole and well again, and have come to a semblance of peace around it all. Although honestly, this is less of returning to peace again and more of being at peace the first time in my life. This resolution I’ve come to, the last of the major issues that I’ve hung on to in my life, is the reason my psyche is so clean right now. It is the reason I was able to write the piece I did several weeks ago entitled, the happiest I’ve ever been. I have a level of contentment right now that might truly allow me to finally legitimately be considered the Minister of Happiness.

So if you like poetry with a lot of deep and raw emotion check out a copy of the book. The links above will take you to Amazon, or if you prefer a signed copy message me directly. The book is $9.99 on Amazon, $5.99 for the Kindle version. If you buy from me you get a signed copy for $15.00 or any two of my books signed for $25.00. My other two books are a book of poetry, Otherness and my story of hiking on the Appalachian Trail, Appalachian Trail Happiness.

Both of my books

I always try to tie these posts up at the end with a lesson you can take with you. I’m not sure I have one tonight beyond be patient. I have done a lot of work on myself over my life, I’ve been through a lot of hard times. Most of you have dealt with similar difficulties I’m sure. Do the work, be patient, I’m a living example that it may take until you are well into your fifties, but the work is worth it. You can be content and live a life full of happy days. I hope in some way to help you to get to the same place I’m at and have many happy days of your own my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Addicted to Her 05/23/08

She is liquid heroin to me
taking my distance
as I will often do
suffering the tremors of withdrawal
the pain of space, and time and distance
I begin to recover
crawling inch by inch
to that most tentative of safe spaces

Only to gain a taste
rekindling the addiction
the pain of need
the need of pain, of love, of together
sucked into the cycle
having to score a fix of her
again and again
obsessively doing whatever it takes
to have contact, a word, a scream
rock bottom is not so much a splat
but a thud
imbedded so deeply into the need
that there is nothing else

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged addiction, Athena, be happy, happiness, healing, heartbreak, love, madness, poems, poetry | Leave a comment

Happiness is Cycling in Ireland

Posted on September 8, 2019 by Michael Kane

Happiness is Cycling in Ireland

My first bike trip to Ireland

A lot of fun stuff happens when you go out on a bike compared to when you’re in a car. You’re more in the environment. It’s enjoyable. Even when it’s raining, it’s still fun. ~ Stone Gossard

I love cycling, there really is no form of exercise that is more enjoyable or more relaxing than bicycling. I’m not fast, I’m not a great cyclist, I’ve never even ridden a race, I am still at age 50 in pursuit of my major cycling goal, a century (a single 100 mile ride). When I go out on a casual ride it’s typically a 15 – 25 mile ride for me an hour or two on the bike. I don’t ride hard, I don’t push, I take a break when the feeling hits me, I always bring enough to eat, a lot of water, I take my time.

Quinn Abbey

On a bike, unlike in a car you are immersed in the environment, you feel the sun, the wind, you hear birds and the bees as they buzz by you, or worse blow into your jersey and sting you. But even that’s ok, you get a good laugh at what you must have looked like leaping off your bike, ripping off your jersey and leaping around like a half-naked madman in public. I’m blessed to have access to the American River Bike Trail, 32 miles from Discovery Park to the top of the Folsom Dam. All along the river, lot’s of nature, turkeys, deer, rattlesnakes, coyotes, jack and cottontail rabbits, lots of raptors, song birds and the occasional dragonfly that freak me out as one once got caught in my helmet.

Galway Cathedral

So I think it shows, I love cycling and some of the best cycling I’ve ever done has been in Ireland. Drivers in Ireland are kind to cyclists, the countryside is beautiful, the weather, well I’ve always had good weather while I was there, but it’s been known to rain and blow a bit. Both times I’ve ridden in Ireland I’ve ridden on tours with Cycle Holidays Ireland and the magnificent John Heagney. I do a lot of tours overseas and I will say without doubt there is no one who takes better care of their clients, can tell a better story or sing a better tune. I thoroughly recommend you give it a spin with him next summer. I also got a lot of great photography done on my trip.

So my friends take a sunny morning and go for a ride, a walk if that is more your cup of tea, but do something quiet in nature and I assure you, you will have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged cycling, exercise, Galway, happiness, ireland, kylemore abbey, peace, personal happiness, photography, travel | 11 Comments

SF MOMA and Andy Warhol

Posted on September 7, 2019 by Michael Kane

SF MOMA and Andy Warhol

Dying is the most embarassing thing that can happen to you, someone else has to take care of all of your details. ~ Andy Warhol

A couple of weekends ago I finally decided to make it to Museum of Modern Art in San Francisco. I have a love/hate relationship with modern art. There is some work I really love and then their is works like these that I can never believe someone paid money for, I guess that makes the artists brilliant business people at the very least.

These are simple lead tiles alternated on the floor

This is literally a section of wood flooring

There is one I refuse to post here, a series of sheets starting with a single box and increasingly adding straight lines til the end result is basically a piece of graph paper. I don’t get it.

There were some really wonderful pieces at the museum and below are some of my favorites. The first, this giant face was six foot long but seemed incredibly real.

Artist – Ron Muek

Popeye by Artist – Kristen Morgin

The works below in oil and straw might have been my favorites of the day. The use of the texture made them really spectacular.

Artist – Anselm Keifer

I love the piece below by Sigmar Polke. Click on it to get the larger image and you’ll see the ephemeral figure in front of the wizard. In the gallery it’s a huge life size piece and the differences in solidity of the images and creation of depth is really spectacular.

Artist – Sigmar Polke

On the way to SF MOMA in the morning, I took this photo in the BART station, just a lovely little message from universe.

The museum is currently running a really interesting exhibit on photography errors. Some of these won’t make any sense to those of you who never shot with film, but a big part of the exhibit is one of my favorite errors, double exposures.

There are also some really lovely outdoor spaces in the museum around the cafe and even a living wall.

There is also a lovely space exhibit, it’s a mix of space suits, books, models of spaceships and offworld living facilities interspersed with monitors playing science fiction films and finally some really intricate and beautiful space art.

Sadly the closest I’ll likely ever get to wearing a space suit is a reflection

Finally, although it has now left MOMA’s big exhibition for the last couple of months has been an Andy Warhol exhibit. Having visited the Warhol Museum in Pittsburgh there wasn’t much new to expect from the exhibit. However, there were a couple of things I hadn’t seen before, first there were some portraits I hadn’t seen.