Every walk of life falls under the Testicular Imperative: Either you have the world by them, or it has you. ~ Colin Fletcher
Remembering My Appalachian Trail Hike
So I had a goal for my time off for medical leave, I wanted to do another book. Unfortunately that fell off, but another opportunity presented itself. So to celebrate the 10th anniversary of publishing my book Appalachian Trail Happiness I’m publishing an audio version of the book. Amazon is beta testing an AI conversion of your print book. So I’ve just spent the last three days learning that system and editing the audio book, it’s a computer generated narrator not my voice. I just hit publish and so it will go live in the next three days. Listening and editing my book brought a lot of things to mind.
I need to first apologize to my friend Rich who hounded me for this for years, sorry it took so long.
Most of all, holy shit I miss the guys pictured above and my time on the trail. Reliving my months on the trail was wonderful, every fiber of me is screaming right now to get back on the trail, but that will have to wait given current realities.
Something that always happens when you re-edit a published text is you see all of the errors. I mean hell, me, six other readers and an edit by an editor and there’s still so many little errors.
Finally, man am I proud of this book. It’s a really good book, well written, interesting and there’s some great advice in it. I also, going through it, know all of the great stories that aren’t in there and you really should be buying me a pizza and asking for those stories.
Have a happy day my friends, I’ll put out another post after the audio book is published, listed and available. It will be available both on Amazon and Audible.
The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do. ~ BF Skinner
Happiness and Technology
I think technology in general gets a bad rap. Sure, there are lots of problems with the predominant technology in our lives, social media. In the online environment we get plenty of hate spewing keyboard warriors, misinformation, conspiracy theories and media like Instagram has even been proven to have significant negative impacts on the self-image of teens, particularly girls. We see negative impacts from doom scrolling, online porn and gaming addictions and lots of lost productivity from people wasting their time online watching videos, etc… None of this is surprising, the entire environment is run by big corporations and big corporations are essentially evil for one reason, the only thing they care about is profits for shareholders. So if there are negative impacts on their product users oh well, hell in some cases, because it will drive profits, it’s actually the goal. This is not new, think back to all the lawsuits that have been filed against tobacco companies over the years and all the evidence that showed that they fully understood the negative health impacts and hid them. It continues, just recently there was a huge class action settlement around opioid pain killers with big pharma doing exactly what big tobacco did. So it’s no shock that big tech is doing the exact same thing.
However, technology itself is not evil, it’s all about how you decide, or how you are manipulated into using it. You know, some crazy minister in California might lure you in by writing a blog on happiness and publishing every Sunday night. And while there are lots of negative uses and abuses of technology, tonight I want to talk about the wonderful side of technology.
I think back on my grandfather’s life, he was born in 1910 and died in 2000. When he was a kid in New York City, no one had telephones or radios or cars. No ordinary person ever flew on an airplane. By time his life ended, we had supersonic jets that flew NY to Europe in a couple of hours, men had walked on the moon, probes had sent back images of Mars. We had phones in our pockets that could pull up damn near every bit of knowledge known to man. Technology has moved at an amazing pace. And while I’m focusing on computer technology, medical technology has been equally incredible. My other grandfather died in 1969 effectively from chronic high blood pressure, a condition I and much of my family have inherited from him. The difference, we take a few pills and go on with our lives, he died at 49.
This discussion around technology has a particular meaning to nomads like me. When you move around a lot, you have people scattered everywhere. Hell, some of my fellow nomads are actually able to be truly nomadic working as digital nomads. But being so far from the people I care about would be so much harder if it wasn’t for technology. We’re no longer dependent on a letter that can take days or weeks to reach these people and then and equally long wait for a response. We can literally via email or chat have quick or even immediate conversations with people all over the planet. When I was a kid, one of the technologies I saw in movies and on TV that I always wanted was the video call. Now that can be done on our phones. It allows me to interact with my little niece and nephews three-thousand miles away. I can see how they are growing and changing and we get a better window into each other’s lives. Just over the last year technology has allowed me to do some amazing things. I got to sit in on a friend’s PhD defense in Georgia, had a three-way video call with people in three different countries, watched sporting events not on TV from across the country and this weekend I got to watch my nephew graduate from high school in NY. Just like I did with one of my nieces several years ago and also another nephew’s graduation from trade school in Georgia.
The level of interconnection and information is truly amazing. I have one younger niece who tracks my flights whenever I’m on airplanes so she knows exactly when I’ll be arriving. I’m able to shop online and have a gift delivered the next day across the country. Recently I even found one of my nieces fielding percentage on her high school softball team. Without this amazing science based miracle, I would have missed out on many or all of these things, so I’m truly grateful for the technology we have. Without a doubt it has helped this nomad have happier days my friends. ~ Rev Kane
He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher… or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.~ Douglas Adams
Rev Kane’s Wild Ride: 42 Days!
As I went into surgery I had some particular milestones in mind, particularly associated with numbers of weeks. So, Week 1, survive and one I hadn’t envisioned, have a bowel movement. Weeks 2-3, the first two weeks home, try to find ways to be as comfortable as possible, understand and accept help from others. Weeks 4-6, get into a healing routine, enough sleep, eating well, walking and accept but reduce the amount of help I needed. Week 6, start to drive. Weeks 6-8 is about the time most people’s breast bone has fully fused back together, not completely healed but fused together, so I picked the end of Week 7 and the holy number of 42 to really celebrate the first major milestone on my way to normality.
Week 1 was about survival and getting out of the hospital and I left on day 6. The first two weeks at home were far more comfortable than expected, especially after I got the head adjustable bed frame and was able to start sleeping in my own bed again. Weeks 4-6 have been exactly as expected, it’s become pretty routine, get up, do my vital signs, record them for the doctor, eat, take my meds, go for a walk, do some social media, eat, go for a walk, nap or listen to a podcast. Eat dinner, go for a walk, take my meds, shower, make my bed, watch some TV, go to bed. Other than expanding the distance of my walk each day, it’s been pretty much groundhog day for the last few weeks, you know, minus a couple of visitors and doctor’s visits.
Week 7 has been about starting to getting back to feeling close to normal. Week 8 will be much the same, and after Week 8 we change gears from recover to preparation and training. After Week 8 I’ll get a little more adventurous, my cardiologist has cleared me to travel after Week 8. There are already signs of this, I took my last dose of a heart medicine today, one I should have finished a couple of weeks ago but had to slow the dose because it was liquefying my intestines if I took both doses each day. I have five weeks left to be on my blood thinners and hopefully at that point I go off of that drug as well as the drug I take to protect my stomach from the impacts of the blood thinners.
One of the things that I read a lot about but hadn’t really experienced during this recovery are the emotional impacts. There was a lot about people being more emotional and often becoming depressed after the surgery. I was a little emotional in Week 2, but honestly, I feel a bit colder instead of more emotional. I’ve also been in really good spirits, the last two days have been the exception. My mood took a gnarly dive yesterday and I’m trying to fight my way out of that. I think a bit part of it, is the realization of how long the limitations on me will extend. While I can travel after week 8, I can’t really wear a weighted backpack, so no real hiking options. I can swim or soak in a hot tub or hot spring, so resorts and beaches are off the table. Honestly it really only leaves me casinos, eating and shows and I’m not really excited about Reno, Tahoe or Vegas right now. So I think a big part of my tanking mood is that I’ll have four pretty open weeks and I really have nothing all that exciting I can do. Don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying my quiet, mostly stress free life right now but I kind of wanted to do something fun. I’m working on it. One other small piece of information that has bummed me out, I’ve always wanted to jump out of a plane. I had hoped to celebrate a year post surgery by jumping out of a plane, unfortunately it’s really not recommended without previous experience and a ton of cardiac rehab training focused on jumping. A little good news however, I can scuba dive, so I may have to get certified and start diving.
The big gear change in Weeks 8-12 is to push my legs and do a lot of walking. I’m currently walking 4 miles a day most days. I’ll push that up to 6 miles a day as we progress, I’m already picking up my walking speed and doing more hills. I also start my cardiac rehab program right after the Fourth of July and that will also add some things into the mix I’m sure. I will also be starting to apply for jobs very selectively. I’m stuck in a bit of a quandary between leaving my incredible health care before my six month recovery mark and not being physically able enough to do a move without a lot of help and getting the hell out of a truly awful job. So some heavy shit on my shoulders right now as my job sucks and every little conversation I have about work makes me less interested in returning to that place.
But today we celebrate, there was pizza, a big Coke and a tiny bowl of ice cream with chocolate sauce and they were magnificent. This is my first pizza in seven weeks, outside of my three months living in Oaxaca, this is probably the longest I’ve ever gone without a pizza.
This week I even bought myself a present I’m sporting below in the image and my hair is perfect!
So all I can say tonight friends, is do the best you can to have a happy day and I’ll do the same. One last thing, happy sixth birthday to The Tiny Boss, my littlest niece. ~ Rev Kane
When authority is total, so too is the madness of the man who declares it, and the potential for abuse of power. ~ Rick Wilson
Happiness is Times of Madness
The world has gone mad in so many ways. We all live with daily stress and some level of madness in our lives, but right now, things outside our individual control seem to be ramping up at an extraordinary level. A lot of people will tell you to ignore it, shut off the news, shut off your social media and stick your head in the sand. I am not one of those people.
I’m someone who truly believes that knowledge is power and so to deny yourself an understanding of what is going on in the world around you seems quite ridiculous to me. But of course, as with all things, moderation is the key. So staying informed is one thing and advisable, but doom scrolling social media for hours at a time is not advisable at all.
So when things go insane what should you do? Tonight I’ll give you my take on how to remain happy during this shambling apocalypse we’re dancing through. First of all, stay informed, know what’s happening and legitimately how it might impact you. Second, always be reasonably prepared, if, like me, you live in earthquake country, have an earthquake kit. Know how to do the basic things around your home, turn off the breakers, the gas, the water. Always have some idea, if something goes wrong, what your options might be. Once you’ve done that, don’t obsess about things, know you’ve done what you can do and move on with your life.
Then, do all of the things we have talked about on this block for the last fifteen years. Enjoy your friends and your family, practice self-care, find times to enjoy the simple things in life like nature and finally have some fun. It’s important, particularly if you’re a parent, that you keep yourself as calm and happy as possible. Your children, your pets and others will intuit the energy you’re putting out, if you’re nervous and anxious you’ll feed that into them.
It’s always important to remember to control what you can, be aware but not overly worried about what you can’t, and finally find ways to de-stress and make yourself happy, happy days are the best we can hope for my friends, and it’s up to us to make them ourselves. ~ Rev Kane
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. ~ H L Mencken
Rev Kane’s Wild Ride:Normalish
It’s been 6 full weeks since my surgery, which is the half-way point between surgery and returning to my god awful job. I really targeted 8 weeks after surgery as a major milestone for a couple of reasons. First, it was when my doctor said I could travel, and second the first stage of healing for your breast bone is 6-8 weeks. Think of this as the point they would cut the cast off of a broken arm. Your arm isn’t fully healed but the bone is knit back together and you can gradually begin to use your arm nearly normal or as I prefer, normalish.
The 8 week mark is when I’ll feel comfortable making some changes, sleeping a little less, head up, expanding my mobility and stretching. I can’t do any resistance work until after 12 weeks and it will be 4 – 6 months before my chest will be back to what I’ll feel comfortable calling normal. I’ll get a lot more details on this when I start my cardiovascular rehab class and program in July.
But here in week 6 we’ve entered the dangerous land of normalish. Meaning that I feel really good and at times feel completely normal. At other moments I am reminded my chest was recently sliced open and then cracked open like a lobster, mmm lobster, I really need to get some lobster soon. For instance, I woke up to go to the bathroom the other night and normally got up out of bed. As soon as I stood up I thought, “shit, I’m not supposed to do that.” I had used my arms, just slightly to get up.
So, I’m doing a few things to remind myself I’m not back to normal yet. As you can see in the picture, I still have my hospital bracelet on, it’s just a subtle way to remind myself I’m not that far out from surgery. It’s easy to remember in the bathroom or shower or any other time I’m parading around topless (you’re welcome for the visual), as there’s this very noticeable scalpel line that runs down the center of my chest. They’ve done a great job with the wound, to the point that it looks like I’ve been freshly cut and just haven’t started to bleed yet. Without the blood it kind of looks like what you’d see if you sliced an android’s skin and that absolutely fucks with my mind a bit.
My days have gotten much more normal, there are far fewer people visiting, by design. I will say again I’ve been humbled by the help and support people have provided. Although it’s interesting, not a single one of my bosses has reached out to see how I’m doing. But this week I did a magazine interview on Monday and coordinated some others to be part of the piece. Tuesday a friend came over and helped me get the tiny patio garden back into shape.
On Wednesday I had an appointment to get equipment to do a sleep study, today I had to return the equipment and had an diabetic retinopathy exam. Then I treated myself to a Jersey Mike’s sub and some chips, they’re the only chain that does a decent approximation of an east coast Italian sub. Tomorrow I have a home nursing appointment and have to pick up packages at the package locker and basically every time I’m out I do a little grocery shopping. It’s been a busy week, I’ve even started looking at job opportunities and am exploring a couple of positions. On top of things I continue to increase my walks, today I did my first continuous two mile walk, about a third of it uphill, I do a little over three miles a day, but I’m closing in on four miles.
In terms of the vitals that I record each day things have been generally good, the only thing I’m not thrilled with is that my resting heart rate has remained high, this is neither unusual or unexpected but it bugs me. It was quite high for a week, over 100, but happily over the last five days has been trending downward and this morning was 91. If I can get that back into the 80 beat per minute range, I’ll be really happy.
So it’s easy right now to forget things aren’t normal, at least until I drop something on the floor. My great fear is dropping my car keys while I’m out and having to stand around like a dope until someone walks by who I can ask for help, so far that hasn’t happened. When I go for my walks I carry a cane, I don’t really use it, but it signals to people that there’s an issue and to give me some space, because without the cane, I look exactly as I did pre-surgery just with a more raggedy beard and a lot less stressed.
So, 6 weeks out, 6 weeks of easing back into semi-normality and work to go. ~ Rev Kane
Fear is an ever constant cloak that we all wear, all the time. Sure, most of the time we tamp it down under our conscious mind. We fill our lives with activity and busyness so that we never have to think about it. But it is always there with us, usually under the surface and driving many of the decisions we make in life. Our fear prevents us from acting, from taking chances and mostly fear prevents us from change, there is a lot of fear in the uncertainty of change.
One of the things that I’m dealing with now as I go through my recovery is that my life is a lot smaller than normal. I’m not working so the space taken up by the mental exhaustion and stress of my job are not there right now. I’m limited on what I can do and with a still broken sternum I can’t exactly extend myself too much at this point. So as my world shrinks, as I start get back to more a solitary day to day existence, my mind gets quiet enough to hear the fear that’s always whispering to us.
People who know me, would likely not consider me a fearful person, in fact a large number of them would probably describe me as relatively fearless. And that’s the key point of tonight’s post, we all have fear, but what’s important is how you address the fear, and what you do with it.
Fear is absolutely a liar. Let’s get real and deal with the core fear we all live with constantly and run from as much as we possibly can. We’re all going to die. That idea, that fear, terrifies all of us and there’s a reason we run from thinking about it, because if we think about it all of the time we’d likely go mad. So we bury that fear until it dances up in the quiet of the night, just as your about to fall asleep, or when you’re alone watching a movie, then we get swept in terror and fear. We all have this, it is what both makes life completely pointless and poignant. The real question is, what do you do with that fear? For me, I’ve taken it to heart and used it to motivate and drive me. If I only have one life, and it’s finite, then damn it I’m gonna grab every part of this existence I can get my hands on. I’m going to eat all the foods, go to all of the places and try nearly every damn experience I can with a reasonable level of safety and to be honest, occasionally, sometimes when it’s not all that damn safe if the experience might be worth it.
But I have all of the millions of fears we all have. Hell right now I’m swimming in them. Any bone click in my chest and I’m convinced my sternum is not healing correctly, my heart rate is higher than I like right now so I’m sure it’s a problem, wake up sweating, well it’s obviously night sweats a symptom of afib. A hundred times a day something happens that I wonder is this connected to my surgery, is my heart ok? But logic and information are beautiful things. Taking a deep breath, thinking things through, reading up on my conditions, talking to my doctors are all ways to alleviate these fears. It’s when you don’t address your fears with these tools that you allow your brain to runaway with things and that’s when anxiety takes over and wins.
So my advice tonight is to not hide from your fears. Address them, find ways to use them to motivate you, defeat them with education, logic and information. Find ways to take your fears and have them drive your happiness. For me, my fear of death has driven me to travel, take chances, have experiences and to make sure I tell people what they mean to me. It’s what pushes me to do random nice things for people, to pay a compliment someone doesn’t expect. We’re guaranteed nothing, so make the most of everyday as best you can. As someone who just went through open heart surgery, who now is on the clock for how long his replacement valve will last, this drive is even more intense for me. Which is part of what is driving me a tad bit crazy right now, I have things to do, places to go, changes to make, but for the moment I’m harnessed and need to take it easy until I’m healed. We all have these things from time to time, but if you don’t, or you can find a way to move forward in spite of them, then let your fears drive you instead of paralyze you and you’ll have happier days my friends. ~ Rev Kane
My maternal grandfather looking quite dapper with my mother
It’s a wise father who knows his child. ~ William Shakespeare (Merchant of Venice)
Happy Father’s Day
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there, both conventional and non-conventional. Every year I wish my mother a happy Father’s Day. If you do both jobs, you should get both holidays. I’m happy to say that I know a lot of great dads. I have a number of friends who have done a great job raising their kids. Hell a couple of them have even done it through divorce, co-parenting is not an easy gig but I know a few of them really pulling it off. My brother I’m happy to say is also a great dad, more proud of him than I can express for that. One of the best dad’s I know is my friend Rikki, she’s raised an amazing kid, just graduating from high school, and like my mom, very much did both jobs.
So happy Father’s Day to all the dads, take a moment to congratulate yourself and have a happy day. ~ Rev Kane
Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it’s how we behave while we’re waiting. ~ Joyce Meyer
Rev Kane’s Wild Ride: 30 Days Past Surgery
Yesterday was one month since my surgery, this is the fifth day of the fifth week of my recovery. It seems like there’s always one small issue or another, and this week I’ve been dealing with a pulled muscle in my neck. I pulled it, then when I massaged it out I think I hurt it even worse. So my neck is sore as shit and there’s even some swelling. If the swelling doesn’t subside in a couple of days I’ll be getting an ultrasound, but tonight finally it feels like it’s starting to improve.
I’m officially cleared to drive but my apartment complex is painting the outside of our building and parking structure. They were supposed to do it three weeks ago, but par for the course in corporate apartment living. Hopefully this week sees my first driving, the return of the patio garden and my neck gets better. It will go a long way to starting to feel more normal.
I’ve truly been blessed with people helping me out over the first month since I’ve been home. They’ve honestly been great and I know I’ve said it before, but I’m humbled and honored by the help.
Overall I’m doing well, I’m eating ok, and am up to walking three miles a day. The combination of fewer calories and the walking has led to me dropping some weight since I’ve come home. I’m actually about seven pounds less than I was the day of my surgery and about two pounds under where I’d been for some time.
The tough part now is just being patient, something I’m oddly both terrible and amazing at, depending on the reason. I’ve got a good solid daily routine going and I’m starting to get the itch to write a bit, I’ve finally also started reading again. So, one month down, two to go!
So much of the progress that would define the 20th century, on both sides of the Atlantic, came down to the battle for a slice of beach only six miles long and two miles wide. ~ Barack Obama
D-Day: Always Remember
The anniversary of D-Day always makes me pause and think about my grandfathers. On that day in 1944 my mother’s and father’s families had never had any contact. On that day, my two grandfathers would end up passing within ten feet of each other.
My POW and I in 1966
The pictures above show Grandpa Kane on the left and Grandpa Cordato “POW” on the right. These two men were incredibly important in my life. POW would die when I was only five years old, but as a toddler I was attached to his hip, I idolized him, followed him around, spent a lot of hours with him and he was thrilled about it. My granny would tell me many times growing up, that I was the only baby whose diapers he ever changed. The picture shows us doing shots of beer together. He would fill up his mug with beer and fill a shot glass for me with milk. We’d drink our shots, slam down the glasses and I would yell, “more beer POW.” I have tons of memories of being with him, but not a single memory of his death or funeral although I was there, my brain has apparently buried that pain.
My paternal grandfather, Grandpa Kane was a hard man. Wasn’t the greatest parent but mellowed with age and became a great grandfather. He taught me to plant roses and tomatoes, walked with me in the woods, told me stories about the Indians in the woods (they didn’t exist), gave me my one and only taste of chewing tobacco that I never touched again, gave me my first outdoors book with swearing in it and would go deer hunting with me. But more than anything else we would talk and tell stories for hours. He led an amazing life.
We often here the sentiment expressed on the D-Day anniversary about the brave 19 year-olds who stormed that beach, but that’s not the whole story. The draft missed my grandpa first time around, by time they got to him, he was 33 and had four children. They didn’t care, his first beach head was on D-Day, he was 34 years-old. He only ever told me the story of that day once and suffice it to say, if you saw the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan, you’ve pretty much got it. He cut off his pack, flipped over the side of the landing boat, stormed the beach, made it to the rocks, climbed them, lobbed grenades into the bunkers on top. The fact he survived is utterly amazing to me, he was a complete badass.
After the battle had wrapped up, my other grandfather, who was out on the ships off shore with the first army’s armor came rolling to shore. Grandpa Kane was directing traffic at the first intersection, so almost certainly POW rolled right by him in that intersection. An amazing little nexus point in my life, twenty years before I was born.
So today I think about both of them, and honor them with food. I’ll eat a homegrown tomato for Grandpa Kane and I’ll make a buster burger for POW. POW loved mixing ground sausage and hamburger and topping it with tomato sauce. So dinner is set for tonight. What those men did on that day and for the whole of that war forever changed the world and all of our lives, we can never forget their sacrifices and bravery. Have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane
Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life. ~ Marilu Henner
I haven’t worn pants in weeks!
First a sidebar, tonight’s quote is from an incredibly interesting person. Most of you probably remember her as the red-head from the TV show Taxi. But she’s also a real life Sheldon Cooper, by that I mean she’s one of the very rare people with an actual eidetic memory. Must of made memorizing lines easy, but she’s a talented actress, beautiful incredibly smart and possesses this memory gift.
Back to our regularly scheduled program. For a guy who is not vain, I had a little vanity streak run through me a couple of years ago, but I’m passed it now, this experience has been interesting. I really don’t care what I look like. Tomorrow will be four weeks since my surgery, since before the surgery, I’ve not shaved, my beard or my head. I currently have the hair style of every Eastern European prisoner in Nazi death camp movies, but I’m much fatter. Not that I’ve put on weight, in fact, the stress of the surgery led me to put on about seven pounds, I was right around 187 before that and as of today I’m at 188. So for the most part, I’ve lost my pre-surgery stress eating weight.
On the walk I’ve just returned from, I was quite a sight, tiny colorful socks, grey hush puppy looking slip on shoes, gym shorts, gleaming white legs that could save ships in a storm, a black cotton shirt over a tie-dye shirt, topped with my psycho bunny hat, accompanied by lovely oak cane, stained cherry. But it doesn’t matter, the fact is modesty went out the door on surgery day one.
For a week I walked around in the hospital in that damn gown with my ass hanging out for all to see. When Gina, one of the patient care staff, came to assist me with my first shower she brought me “modesty” underwear. Gina was easily in her late 40’s or early 50’s, so I asked her, “how long have you been doing this?” She said 18 years, I looked at her, “is there anything you haven’t seen?” She shook her head no as she laughed and I dropped the gown right there and walked into the shower. She also came in and washed my back, that’s the most action I’ve had in years, she was incredibly nice.
I have no idea what I’m going to do with my hair and beard. Semi-bald afro, old hippy pony-tail, back to bald? As for the beard currently it’s a angry, old sea captain kind of style, maybe I’ll trim it back, maybe I’ll go full Gandalf as my nephew suggested. Hell, I’m still wearing my hospital ID bracelet. And seriously, I haven’t worn pants since before the surgery.
The thing I’m really not wearing right now is stress. I heard some extreme bullshit from work today and laughed it off. While I’m recovering and nervous about my heart-rate, blood pressure, blood thinners, all of it is at least working ok, if not well, my doctors aren’t nervous, so I’m pretty damn relaxed. Just more to convince me never to return to the toxic stress hellhole that is my old job, at least not for very long, it might be fun to reign hell down on people who drove my replacement nuts for a few weeks before I pull the plug.
Honestly, take your pants off, lose the stress anyway you can, it is literally killing you. So get out from under it and have happier days my friends. ~ Rev Kane
The Ministry of Happiness 