The Ministry of Happiness

Happiness is Poetry: Rumi

Posted on June 17, 2020 by Michael Kane

Happiness is Poetry: Rumi

Tonight I gift you with a long and wonderful piece on falling in love by Rumi. Hard to imagine his work is over 600 years old, but if you’ve never read any you’re missing out. Enjoy this one and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Desire and the Importance and Falling

A window opens.
A curtain pulls back.

The lamp of lovers connect,
not at their ceramic bases,
but in their lightedness.

No lover wants union with the Beloved
without the Beloved also wanting the lover.

Love makes the lover weak,
while the Beloved gets strong.

Lightning from here strikes there.
When you begin to love God, God
is loving you. A clapping sound
does not come from one hand.

A thirsty man calls out, ‘Delicious water,
where are you?’ while the water moans,
‘Where is the water drinker?’

The thirst in our souls is the attraction
put out by the Water itself.

We belong to It,
and It to us.

God’s wisdom made us lovers of one another.
In fact, all the particles of the world
are in love and looking for lovers.

Pieces of straw tremble
in the presence of amber.

We tremble like iron filings
welcoming the magnet.

Whatever that Presence gives us
we take in. Earth signs feed.
Water signs wash and freshen.
Air signs clear the atmosphere.
Fire signs jiggle the skillet,
so we cook without getting burnt.

And the Holy Spirit helps with everything,
like a young man trying to support a family.
We, like the man’s young wife, stay home,
taking care of the house, nursing the children.

Spirit and matter work together like this,
in a division of labor.

Sweethearts kiss and taste the delight
before they slip into bed and mate.

The desire of each lover is
that the work of the other be perfected.
By this man-and-woman cooperation,
the world gets preserved.
Generation occurs.

Roses and blue arghawan flowers flower.
Night and day meet in a mutual hug.

So different, but they do love each other,
the day and the night, like family.

And without their mutual alternation
we would have no energy.

Every part of the cosmos is draws toward its mate.
The ground keeps talking to the body,
saying, ‘Come back! It’s better for you
down here where you came from.’

The streamwater calls to the moisture in the body.
The fiery aether whispers to the body’s heat,
‘I am your origin. Come with me.’
Seventy-two diseases are caused
by the various elements pulling inside the body.
Disease comes, and the organs
fall out of harmony.

We’re like four different birds,
that each had one leg tied in
with the other birds.

A flopping bouguet of birds!
Death releases the binding, and they fly off,
but before that, their pulling is our pain.

Consider how the soul must be,
in the midst of these tensions,
feeling its own exalted pull.

My longing is more profound.
The birds want sweet green herbs
and the water running by.

I want the infinite! I want wisdom.
These birds want orchards and meadows
and vines with fruit on them.

I want a vast expansion.
They want profit and security
of having enough food.

Remember what the soul wants,
because in that, eternity
is wanting our souls!

Which is the meaning of the text,
They love That, and That loves them.

If I keep on explaining this,
the Mathnawi will run to eighty volumes!

The gist is: whatever anyone seeks,
that is seeking the seeker.

No matter if its animal,
or vegetable, or mineral.

Every bit of the universe
is filled with wanting,
and whatever any bit wants,
wants the wanter!

This subject must dissolve again.

Back to Sadri Jahan and the uneducated peasant
who loved him, so that gradually Sadri Jahan
loved the lowly man. But who really
attracted who, whoom, Huuuu?

Don’t be presumptuous and say one or the other.
Close your lips. The mystery of loving
is God’s sweetest secret.

Keep it. Bury it. Leave it here
where I leave it, drawn as I am
by the pull of the Puller
to something else.

You know how it is. Sometimes
we plan a trip to one place,
but something takes us to another.

When a horse is being broken, the trainer
pulls it in many different directions,
so the horse will come to know
what it is to be ridden.

The most beautiful and alert horse is one
completely attuned to the rider.

God fixes a passionate desire in you,
and then disappoints you.
God does that a hundred times!

God breaks the wings of one intention
and then gives you another,
cuts the rope of contriving,
so you’ll remember your dependence.

But sometimes your plans work out!
You feel fulfilled and in control.

That’s because, if you were always failing,
you might give up. But remember,
it is by failures that lovers
stay aware of how they are loved.

Failure is the key
to the kingdom within.

Your prayer should be, “Break the legs
of what I want to happen. Humiliate
my desire. Eat me like candy.
It’s spring and finally
I have no will.”

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged happiness, holidays, love, poem, poems, poetry, rumi, writing | 3 Comments

My COVID Times Diary – Accepting Death

Posted on June 16, 2020 by Michael Kane

My COVID Times Diary – Accepting Death

Original post date 6/16/2020

Many people misunderstood the reason for the shelter in place that most of us ended up in during March. The point was to slow the rate of the outbreak, to make sure that our hospitals did not get overwhelmed which in the end saves lives. The so-called slowing the curve that we’ve all heard so much about. And the fact is, in general, America did pretty good with this. This of course had a negative impact on the economy, it was/is hard for people to reduce their social and physical contact, to make a sacrifice for the sake of others. But what I think most people didn’t understand was that this was never intended to significantly reduce the overall number of people who would get sick, but to stretch the length of time for the same number of people to get sick. Worse, it seems like people are having two overall reactions to this process.

First, people seem to think since the rate of deaths have leveled off or decreased, that we have beaten the virus and the pandemic is over. Other people seem to think that because the shelter in place, did exactly what it was predicted to do, that obviously the risk of the virus was overblown. This attitude, plus an extreme dedication to the health of the economy at all costs, has led to seemingly all states moving forward with expanding the opening of the economy.

This re-opening was very visible this weekend here in the bay area around San Francisco. Traffic volume was up, stores are open, restaurants have lots of new outdoor seating. Friends can be seen gathering at these restaurants and there are very few masks to be seen other than on the servers.There seems to be a general attitude that we’re passed the pandemic.

Of course we are not, as expected, the re-opening of business, restaurants, yes even our local mall, will lead to more people being in close contact and increasing numbers of infections. And in fact, that is exactly what we’re experiencing. Now there’s some debate that some of the numbers are a result of expanded testing which is true. However, the numbers I watch on a daily basis are the number of deaths of in California. There’s been a fairly stable 6-7 day pattern in deaths. And after about eight weeks of increases the numbers seem to level off and even start to fall. Correspondingly we began to open the economy and the numbers of death, by seven day average have stopped falling. They seem to be bouncing around an unfortunately nearly 100 per day average. Now California is a huge state and right now, most of the deaths are in Southern California. The number in deaths in the north and particularly the bay area are way down. But we’ve just started a really huge experiment by expanding the opening and we’ll know in 3-4 weeks what the result will be.

The fact is, this was always going to happen at some point, unless we got a miraculously quick vaccine. We as a society, typically at the county or state level, have a decided what an acceptable level of death is going to be. As long as that number, whatever each place sets, stays fairly consistent or decrease we’re willing to accept the risks of having businesses open with few restrictions. The cynic in me will also suggest that as long as the majority of those deaths come in the form of older (60 year+), sick (diabetic, high blood pressure) and at a higher percentage in poor and minority communities than we’re ok with it. Online, and social media can be the cesspool of humanity, you will even see comments to this effect. An article in CNN today had the headline, I’m over 60, stop talking about culling me…, but the reality is, to a degree larger than we like to admit, this is how our society generally thinks. Some groups have much higher value than others.

So this, is truly the new normal folks. For a much longer time than most of us want to acknowledge or are willing to accept. We will continue to see deaths, life will involve a face covering (mask) of some sort. For those like myself who fit the higher risk categories (over 60, diabetic, high blood pressure, respiratory issues and heart disease), masks will be an integral part of our day to day experience for the foreseeable future. Gathering and crowds will not be an option, travel will be limited, hugs and handshakes will be a thing of the past, at least for a time. So you will continue to see lots of people in masks, more places open and then when inevitable spikes occur, periods of retraction, restriction and maybe even shelter in place again.

All reasonable information suggests that 2021 is the absolute earliest that we’ll start to see any kind of mass distribution of a vaccine. And that’s assuming in the next couple of months, one of the hopeful vaccine candidates actually pans out. If that happens, it will have been an incredibly fast development of a vaccine, let’s hope that works out. Then of course with out science denying society and vaccine hesitancy, who knows if enough people will even get the vaccine to create the level of protection we actually need for herd immunity.

It’s a new world my friends, as I said in my first COVID post, you will never be the same again. That’s the one thing I’m still absolutely sure of in these changing times. ~ Michael ‘Rev’ Kane

Tiny bits of Joy

Posted on June 15, 2020 by Michael Kane

Tiny Bits of Joy

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves. ~ Buddha

Original post day 06/14/2020

Times are hard for folks right now. Many people are out of work, have lost loved ones, a lot of people are struggling to get by. We’re working from home, having to learn how to become teachers, health experts and chefs. For me personally one of the hardest parts, as I consider my own mortality and the limited amount of time we have in this life, is that it feels like my life and all of its plans are completely on pause. I’m healthy, I’ve had sick family members but no one has died, I have stable and good employment, I’m more well off than many others and thankful for that. But I’m human, and as human beings we cry most for what WE don’t have, what WE can’t do. It’s a natural reaction, and I feel that emotion welling up in me and I do my best to keep it at bay. You have to forgive yourself for the selfish thoughts you have, at least as long you do your best not to act on all of them.

Tonight, I want to talk about the tiny bits of joy in my life. I’d love to include pictures but blasting images of my little people all over the internet doesn’t seem like the most prudent thing to do and they’re too young to give informed consent. So no images, but a few notes about the tiny joys I get to interact with.

First, a message I got yesterday.

Uncle Mike, it’s Renee, can I call you, I have to tell you something/ Wait, not Renee, it’s Rooney, I typed the wrong name.

This led to a video call and a story of how my eight year-old niece encountered a black bear in her back yard. Her sprint home, the bravery of her one dog who took after the bear, and the pure lack of concern of their other dog. It was a cute story, she was clearly both excited and a little bit shook. My suggestion that she should camp out in the yard didn’t go over well.

Recently I got a text from one of the faculty I work with, I’ve become friends with her five year-old daughter. I call her Tiny Dean. The reason for this is that on my first day of work she marched right up to me in my office and asked, “who are you?” When I responded that I was the new dean she said, “no you’re not, I am.” So I immediately requested a raise that she was happy to grant, when I pushed my luck and asked for extra vacation, she fired me. So her mom on a couple of occasions now has found Tiny Dean playing work. While playing work she’s often on phone calls with Dean Kane, and most recently, dressed like her mom and wearing her mom’s glasses, she was pretending to Zoom with me. Her mom sent me a video she took of the pretend Zoom call and sent it to me. It was beyond adorable and absolutely made my day. The best part was when she was explaining the pro-biotic nature of the email, you have to love kid logic.

I have three tiny joys all in the same house, my brother and his wife have three children, 6,4 and about to be 1. My Zoom calls with them are absolutely joyous occasions. My littlest nephew was pretend punching me on the last call and cracking himself up. He and his older brother usually appear on the calls in full custom with lots of props to show off. My littlest niece blew me kisses on the last call, not sure it gets much better than that. But I want to relate something the 6 year-old said on the that call.

He had just finished saying something about cleaning up his room or something, so I suggested that he come over to my house to clean next. He cheerfully agreed and you need to understand he has great belief in his intelligence, which he has informed me is why when he grows up he’ll be smarter than everyone. He also thinks I’m a bit mentally slow. So after my sister and mother asked about cleaning their houses as well, he said the following:

When I grow up I’m going to make a machine so that I can copy myself, and then I can come over and clean everyone’s house.

I was happy to hear the confidence and even more so the absolute kindness of the sentiment. And that’s what I want to convey tonight my friends, we can all be that kind. In our thoughts and in our actions, and in that we can bring joy to others. Sure, I could list out little ways you could help others, the random acts of kindness you could do, but you know what they are, and they don’t have to be large. All it takes is the will to do it and the best time is when you least feel like it. Because in the end, acts of kindness are sneakily selfish. Although they are acts to make someone else happier, they inevitably make us feel better, happier as well. So be kind friends, take those opportunities to say or do something that will bring someone a little joy. It’s make a happier day for them, and happier days for you my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged be happy, children, happiness, happy, joy, kindness, random acts of kindness, Zoom calls | 2 Comments

On Burning Man & The Appalachian Trail

Posted on June 14, 2020 by Michael Kane

On Burning Man & The Appalachian Trail

Rev Kane in his first year at Burning Man

Rev Kane on his first day on the Appalachian Trail

If you are unwilling to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary ~ Jim Rohn

First a little background, I am currently off the trail and rehabbing my knee but I have been walking the Appalachian Trail since March 7, 2015 in celebration of my 50th birthday. So far I’ve covered about 700 miles of trail and my knee willing I will continue to add to that total for the rest of the summer.

The Appalachian Trail 2180 miles from GA to ME

I have also attended Burning Man seven times in the last ten years, with my first burn occurring in celebration of my 40th birthday in 2004.

My favorite art piece from Burning Man – Bliss Dancing

While on the trail I am constantly seeing parallels between the Burning Man and Appalachian Trail (AT) communities. This is particularly powerful in the way thru-hikers view the trail and their fellow thru-hikers and the way that burners view Burning Man and their fellow burners on the Playa. So tonight I thought I would expand on a few of these overlaps.

Magic

Trail magic is one form of magic on the AT, this is when people show up out of the goodness of their hearts, with no thought of payment or return, save gratitude, and provide food, drinks, rides and all kinds of kindness. But this is not the magic I want to talk about. On the trail you often hear the phrase, “the trail provides.” My best example of this was my friend Backtrack breaking a trekking pole on a hike. He was of course upset, poles are expensive and more importantly invaluable in helping you navigate the trail safely. When he arrived at the shelter he expressed his frustration to a fellow hiker who simply said, “well then, you should take that one.” In the back corner of the shelter was a solitary trekking pole. A coincidence, sure, but when you see and hear about these type of coincidences happening over and over you start to believe.

The summit of Mt. Unaka

I became a believer in my first hour on the trail. I’m a writer so I of course carry several pens on the trail. As I started my first day I got to thinking about the fact I wanted to write in the shelter journals. I was also a little skeeved out by the idea of all the people who would have handled those shelter pens. In that moment I was silently berating myself about not keeping one of the pens I was carrying easily accessible when I looked down and saw a brand new pen laying on the trail. The trail provides.

Bliss Dancing at dawn

The really amazing parallel with Burning Man is the very often heard phrase, “the Playa provides.” I have seen dozens of instances of this, needed car parts, costuming items, kitchen utensils, I once told a Burning Man virgin that I truly believed you could stand up in center camp, shout out a need for anything and it would arrive minutes later. Of course I told this to a complete wise-ass, so he stood up on a bench and yelled I want a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie. As he stepped down a woman behind him said, “here you go.” I almost passed out, she was standing there with two friends and they had racks of cookies they’d just brought over from their camp to gift to people.

Dawn at 5000 feet

For me, my greatest example is related to my singular food passion, pizza. There isn’t much in this world I enjoy more than a half-pepperoni and mushroom pizza. For several years on the Playa there was a camp called random pizza. They brought out pizza ovens and each night would make pizzas and then go out and randomly give them to people on the Playa. I believe it was my third year and I was walking down the Esplanade with two friends and I starting ranting about how utterly ridiculous it was that given my love for pizza that I had never received a random pizza. Less than a minute later a guy tapped me on the shoulder and said, “I believe this is for you.” A pepperoni and mushroom pizza. Sure not half cheese like I normally get, but wow, I was a believer. The Playa provides.

How, as a scientist do I explain this, is it just coincidence, perhaps. However, I think even as a scientist we need to leave room in this world for the unexplainable and the truly magical.

Community

While on the Playa, (it doesn’t always hold up when they are off), burners are some of the finest and most amazing individuals I’ve ever met. On the trail, (it doesn’t always hold up when they are off), thru-hikers and AT hikers in general, are some of the finest and most amazing individuals I have ever met. The funny thing, is that there is little overlap between these two communities, likely due to the AT having an East Coast focus and Burning Man happening on the West Coast.

Just your basic fire breathing land octopus art car

The commonality here though is easy to define, burners and hikers are risk takers, adventurers, and samplers of life. These are folks who are willing to turn their lives upside down for a chance to experience something new, unusual or magnificent. Basically we’re weird, we don’t think like folks in the default world, for the most part both of these communities believe the standard script of American life – high school, college, job, car, marriage, kids, retirement and death – is not what defines how their lives will proceed.

Another thing about these two communities that I love. There is a fierce loyalty and protectionism that exists in these communities. Both the AT and the Burning Man festival have shockingly low instances of serious crime. We watch out for each other, take care of each other, love each other. People are often shocked that people start a thru-hike alone, particular that single women start alone. They are shocked because they don’t understand our community, we are family on the trail, you don’t always like everyone in your family, but you’ll be damned if anyone is going to do them harm. The Burning Man community has much the same feel to it.

Playa/Trail Names

One of the most basic similarities between the AT and Burning Man our how we refer to ourselves. Burners have Playa names, hikers have trail names. The great thing about these names are they provide an opportunity for people to reinvent themselves, to be present, be social and yet be masked behind this new identity. Are you someone who is always been shy, well on the trail or the Playa your name might be Social Butterfly. You can be a completely new person in both places and I think this is incredibly freeing for many folks. Of course you can also get named by the community in either place but this also serves and a badge of inclusion into the community, an opportunity to always have a conversation starter about how you got your name. The list of names at both events is as varied as you can possibly imagine and probably a bit more varied than that.

The original AARP group after their climb out of the NOC

So that this piece doesn’t get massively long I’ll stop here, but there are lots of other similarities, the isolation and wild nature of the environment for both, costuming – a burner on his/her way to Burning Man is just as easy to spot as a thru-hiker in town for resupply. Spontaneous group formation whether it’s the People United for Nothing (PUN) at Burning Man, or the AARP group on the trial. Both groups are viewed as a bit nuts by the public, the media is a bit fascinated with both groups, both thru-hiking and Burning Man are massively misunderstood by the public. Both populations are groups of massively happy people, that alone makes them special and why participating in both has provided me with many happy days my friends ~ Rev Kane

Happiness is Art: Burning Man

Appalachian Trail (AT) Happiness: Landscapes

Happiness, Burning Man, Woodstock & A Common Compassion Movement

Burning Man Disconnection, Post Playa Depression

Posted in Appalachian Trail (AT) Happiness, personal happiness | Tagged adventure, appalachian trail, art, backpacing, burning man, community, happiness, hiking, photography, selected family | 3 Comments

Happiness is your Authentic Self

Posted on June 13, 2020 by Michael Kane

Happiness is your Authentic Self

Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable, be honest and transparent anyway ~ Mother Teresa

As I have recently mentioned I spent a week at Burning Man a couple of weeks ago, my 6th or 7th time celebrating in the desert. There are many things that I really love about Burning Man, the opportunity to relax, the hugs, the kindness and most of all the opportunity to truly be myself. Now the goal of course is to always be your authentic self at all times, but unfortunately not all of us are there yet.

I have many times explained this idea to others who have never attended the festival. You see at Burning Man you are never the weirdest person, ever, look in a circle at any moment and you will always find someone weirder than yourself. Also, given that so many people are expressing their desires, fantasies and true selves, people have a tendency not to be as judgmental as they normally are in the default world. As such, people are able to be who they want to be, who they truly are. You would be amazed at the pressure that takes off of you.

Every day, in so many ways we put on pretenses, these masks that we wear take effort. Like tiny little lies we must keep them straight in our heads, and this process of masking takes its toll in stress. Being yourself, once you have come to truly accept and love your authentic self, allows you to live honestly and less stressfully. You see, you no longer are concerned what others think, so the only person whose opinion matters is your own. If you love yourself, your true self, than the stress is gone and it becomes much easier to have happy days my friends ~ Rev Kane

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Posted in personal happiness | Tagged authentic self, burning man, happiness, life, love, positivity, stress | 1 Comment

The World is Awful, Be Happy Anyway

Posted on June 11, 2020 by Michael Kane

The World is Awful, Be Happy Anyway

If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you know that each Sunday night I try to post a new blog. Most weeks it comes pretty easy, something hits me and it marinates for a bit and on Sunday night I put it into words. Hopefully it’s something that provides a little insight to me about my happiness and helps you with yours. Some Sundays it just doesn’t come and today was one of those days. So I did what I normally do when the ideas aren’t flowing and I put on my headphones and listened to some music. Getting fully engrossed in music that I really like has a way of shutting the wheels down for a bit and letting my subconscious go to work. Tonight, it was a little bit of Yes, there music is so complex that it’s really easily to get lost in what their doing while simultaneously enjoying it. I didn’t think it had worked for me this time, I had a little dinner, some homemade soup and a little corn on the cob. I was then scanning the web and Facebook and was getting bombarded with the standard unfortunate blast of negativity that both can provide.

It’s easy to get lost in all of the awfulness the world has to offer, war, famine, climate change and perhaps the worst of all, politics. People are more often than we would like fairly awful to each other. I think I know where a lot of this comes from, when people feel things aren’t going their way, and particularly if they feel what is happening to them is out of their control they get angry. Then, they lash out at others. It’s an unfortunate situation but one we all see too often.

So the world can be awful, but we don’t have to be miserable. We don’t have to give in to the negativity that others throw at us. We don’t have to wallow in the bad news in our social media feeds, or the lead stories in the news put before us. You see for every negativity news story, for every person lashing out, for every unfortunate situation there is a counter point. The world, I truly believe seeks balance, so for every negative there is a positive. For every person who cut you off in traffic there is someone who holds a door open for you. For every negative news story there’s a story about a cute pet or a baby laughing or some kid doing something amazing. For every war there is a country making progress, a charity doing good things for people. For every bit of ugliness, there is beauty in the world and often all you have to do is look around.

So given the balance, it’s really up to us as to which one we focus on. When we’re feeling bad, or we’re tired or out of sorts for any reason it becomes easier to focus on the negative. You don’t have to do that, make a conscious decision to focus on the good stuff, the positive news, the beauty in the world. Take the time you need to relax and take care of yourself. The world might be awful, but it’s also wonderful and it’s up to you which one you choose to focus on, and whether or not you have a happy day my friend. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged be happy, blog, happiness, happy, news, politics, positivity | Leave a comment

Happiness & Human Kindness

Posted on June 11, 2020 by Michael Kane

Happines s & Human Kindness

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway. ~ quote often attributed to Mother Teresa

Hello my friends, once again the universe seems to be tapping me on the shoulder and saying, hey Rev, how about talking a little bit about human kindness. When the universe calls it is usually best to listen. So tonight I thought I’d take a little tour around some sites and resources related to human kindness, the one featuring the Russian dash cams is particularly wonderful. I also tonight want to talk about my friend Ozzy.

Kindness at an emotional level is something we all manage pretty easily, the part most of us fall down on, is transitioning that emotion into action. I continually get to see this in effect watching my friend Ozzy. She’s a tough customer, a small business owner, a complicated person but most of all she’s all heart. But she doesn’t stop at the emotional level and is constantly acting to help people, either on her own, through her community or through organizations she’s involved her, I admire her commitment to kindness, caring and helping others, we should all try to be a bit more like her. If we did, we’d all have happier days my friends ~ Rev Kane

Some sites for you to explore around the concept of human kindness:

First, a link to a page showing images from Russian dash cams. In case you didn’t know many Russians have installed dash cams for security and insurance purposes on their cars. Usually the videos you get to see are stupid acts, funny acts or even the big meteor awhile back. However this video uses dash cam footage to show acts of Human Kindness in Russia, it’s compelling and touching beyond belief to see these simple acts, and apparently it’s absolute hell trying to cross the road in that country.

Second, one of my friend Ozzy’s favorites, Burners without Borders, I was present when this group sprung into existence at Burning Man in order to help the victims of Hurricane Katrina, but this group has become soooo much more than that.

Couldn’t possibly do this without mentioning something called the Human Kindness Foundation. A group that reaches out through spirituality to help people in prison.

The site Hello Human Kindness is an advertising hook for a corporation called Dignity Health, ordinarily I would direct you to a corporate entity like this one but there is some nice stuff on the site to make you feel a bit better about our species.

A piece on the personal effects of acts of human kindness.

Happiness Resources: Inspiration & Motivation

Posted on June 10, 2020 by Michael Kane

Happiness Resources: Inspiration & Motivation

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you, too, can become great. ~Mark Twain

Tonight a little web round-up of resources for motivation and inspiration, hopefully they will help you have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Inspiration

From The Chopra Center for Wellbeing, their daily inspirations, I like this one a lot, The Law of Least Effort

From Zen Habits, The Little Guide to Inspiration

Thirty Incredible Places to Turn for Inspiration

Motivation

A slide show on how to create Self Motivation

An awesome video from RSAnimations, Surprising Happiness

From our friends at Zen Habits, Top 20 Hacks – An Overview

The Importance of Caring about Other People

Posted on June 9, 2020 by Michael Kane

The Importance of Caring about Other People

I have always believed that helping your fellow man is profitable in every sense, personally and bottom line. ~ Mario Puzo

The Loss of Common Courtesy and Kindness

So tonight I want to talk about something that has bothered me for some time. Over my lifetime two things, that I believe are connected, have seemed to decrease. First, people seem to be less willing to offer the simple kindnesses of life. What do I mean? Well, a lot of them are contained in the image above, but the biggest one is missing, smiling. I have become somewhat of an oddity these days in that I make eye contact. That’s right, I’m one of those freaks who walks around not looking down at my phone or at the ground, not avoiding, but actually making eye contact with the people I encounter and THEN actually smiling at them.

When I was younger, a lot younger, this used to be far more common. People actually made eye contact, returned smiles, heck, some even asked you how your day was going. And not in a cursory sort of way, but actually wanted an answer. This however has become actually weird, and I realized this in all places, Cedar City, Utah. Around ten years ago I spent some time living in Utah, near Panguitch but very much out of the way. The nearest large city was a town called Cedar City. So needing supplies for the several months I’d be there, I headed over to Walmart in Cedar City. I parked my car and began walking toward the store. I was passing a family and said hello, and they said hello, how are you? Then they stopped and were actually waiting for an answer. It utterly and completely threw me off. I ended up having a couple of minute conversation with them and then moved on. Passed another person and the same thing happened, again and again. It was the norm in this area that people wanted actual connection, even with strangers. The fact it felt so weird and rare brought me to the sad realization that we’ve lost something in our society. Something good that I actually really came to appreciate living there.

The second thing that seems to have decreased is the ability for people to realize there are any other people on earth, or maybe just that they matter. We see this mostly wherever lines form. People will cut into lines without ever noticing they exist. This happens almost every single time I get into a self-checkout line at a store. If there is the tiniest gap between the line and the registers, someone just walks passed the line and attempts to go right to the registers. When someone says something, they always claim to never have seen the line. And they either didn’t, or decided to ignore it. Think about this, a fellow human either was so self-absorbed they didn’t see several other humans waiting in line, or decided they were entitled to be in front of them.

This problem has gotten bad, we see it all of the time. People seem to have come to expect that they alone are the priority in the world, that they are entitled to be served first, get in front of you in traffic, to drive where and when they want without considering the pesky reality that other people are driving there. It extends to people often not being remotely concerned with how their actions impact others, because their actions are all that matters. Let me tell you a story from yesterday.

Parking Lot Madness

I was in a store lot getting ready to leave and there was a car in front of me who saw someone heading for their car up ahead. This is a parking lot with one-way traffic lanes. Now this family heading into their car had a cart full of groceries and three kids, so it would be a couple of minutes before they’d be ready to pull out. I was fine with someone waiting for their spot, I just wanted to get through and around so I could go find my own spot. So I started to pull around the waiting car which then maneuvered to block me from going past. I leaned out my window and yelled, “I don’t want your parking spot.” They then pulled ahead and let me by. I was completely unsurprised by this because of what I saw when I entered the lot.

A lady was driving down one of the lanes heading toward the store, she saw a vehicle with it’s hatchback opened and decided she would take their spot, so she put on her directional and stopped. She also carefully was positioned so no one could pass her and scoop “her” spot. As I was walking by I noticed her with a car waiting behind her. Then I looked at the car she was waiting on. It was two parents a toddler and a baby. Dad was attempting to wrestle the toddler into a car seat. The mom was changing the baby’s diaper. Their full cart of groceries was sitting next to the car. So for those of you with kids you know how far from leaving this parking spot these parents were. The woman waiting was undaunted, she just sat there and out of curiosity I sat on a cart stand to watch. As she was sitting there, cars began lining up behind her. Each person who entered that lane didn’t anticipate traffic not moving and so they stacked up. And she sat there. And the cars were back all the way back to the entry point of the lane. And she sat there. People started honking their horns, and she sat there. So now, no one can move forward and during this time people leaving the store, loading their cars can’t pull out. This woman has like a dozen car fulls of people completely immobilized.

The mom changing the diaper was apparently dealing with a mess given the way she was holding the offending diaper when done. She held it like a small bag of nuclear waste as she searched for a garbage can in the lot. And the lady in the car sat there. They got the baby into the car and started unloading the groceries from the cart into the car. And she sat there with horns blaring behind her. Finally, and all total this took almost ten minutes, the car with the baby pulled out and the woman pulled into “her” spot. People driving by were furious, several making hand gestures, others saying “hello.” She emerged from her car thoroughly unaffected by the whole affair.

We see this sort of behavior far too often these days. Yes, people are also increasingly impatient, but this is exacerbated by the self-absorbed behavior of others who seem to have no situational awareness and are oblivious or uncaring about how their behavior impacts others.

So how should we react to this reality in order to retain our own happiness? Let’s Pay Kindness Forward!

We really have two ways we can react to a world that operates like this. We can get angry, or we can be assertive. Getting angry obviously kicks up our own stress levels and can turn an annoying instance into a bad one, or even unfortunately a tragedy. So anger as a solution is not the way to go, although it happens to all of us from time to time. The second is to be assertive. The way I handled the guy who cut me off from “his” parking spot, or by mentioning to the person that is cutting the line that there is one. These solve the issue, reduce annoyance for you and others and don’t escalate things.

But I also want to think bigger. While it’s important in our day to day lives to reduce our own stress levels and things that decrease our happiness, what we really need to do is to change our culture. We can all contribute to this in small ways everyday with small kindnesses in the hopes that others will replicate or pay forward these kindnesses. So let’s give it a run, let’s hold that door, show that smile, let that person into traffic and heck maybe even say how are you, and actually wait for an answer. None of this needs to happen at a level that will take more than a minute or so out of your day. And just think, if everyone did a couple of things for a couple of people each day. And if those who received it passed on this kindness to someone else, it really wouldn’t take that long for us to have a kinder, gentler and most important happier world in which we could all have happier days my friends. Give it a try. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged be happy, beng friendly, consideration, happiness, kindness, pay it forward, politeness, road rage | Leave a comment

It will be okay

Posted on June 8, 2020 by Michael Kane

It will be okay

Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise again. ~ Victor Hugo

Good evening friends, I have to be honest I’m not feeling it tonight. As much as I talk and write about happiness and work/life balance, even I fall-down sometimes. My work life has changed significantly since our college closed the campus in March as a result of COVID 19. Essentially, for the last 10 weeks at work I have face sequential two week deadlines, one is met just in time to start working on the next. It has meant for most of that time working nights and weekends pretty much without a break. And yes, I understand I’m so much better off than people out of work. I have a family member who will find out tomorrow if they still have a job. So I do get it. But the reality is, with no expectation that this lets up for another 4-6 weeks, I am completely fried. This weekend has really shown me how beat down I am. I have a major project that is due this week and I just haven’t been able to muster more than an hour of work at a time. I’ve too often this weekend found myself falling into my chair and staring at the TV. I know a lot of us are in this space right now. Between COVID 19, horrible economic numbers, protests and having our lives flipped upside down, a lot of us are just burned out.

I have a well-meaning boss, she keeps telling me to take time off. Unfortunately right now that’s not an option because there is simply no one else to pick up the slack and do the things I’m doing right now. So where that advice is normally welcoming, at this point, it’s a bit infuriating.

The message I want to send tonight, and I realize I’m not doing this gracefully or artfully in any way, is that things will get better. They will, it will take time and I realize that if you’re in the space I am right now, that’s not all that comforting. I wish I had more for you tonight, I really do. I wish I could give you a date when life would find some normalcy again, I wish I could tell you when the economy will turn around, when your kids will go back to school, or even when you’ll get your job back. I can’t. But I do know that eventually we will find some normalcy, we’ll adapt, things will be okay.

So do you’re best to breathe, to find a moment to just be, time to be kind to others and ways to laugh. Be well my friends and try to have a happy day. ~ Rev Kane

Posted in personal happiness | Tagged be happy, coronavirus, covid-19, happiness, it will be okay, stress, work | 4 Comments

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