Can being rejected make you happier?

Can being rejected make you happier?

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We all learn lessons in life. Some stick, some don’t. I have always learned more from rejection and failure than from acceptance and success. ~ Henry Rollins

I listened today to an utterly fascinating story on the radio show Invisibilia. It was about how a man overcame his fear of rejection, by practicing being rejected, something he calls rejection therapy. The real beauty was that as he went out each day with the goal of being rejected, getting rejected became a positive thing. By completely flipping the script on his fear, his fear suddenly had less power over him. A really fascinating idea, what I really liked was how enthusiastically he thanked people for rejecting him. He asked for all sorts of things, for people to do his laundry, give him rides, for a bite of their food etc…
Give the story a listen on Invisibilia it’s linked at the bottom of the piece 5 things I learned about fear on NPR’s podcast Invisibilia and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

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Adventure and Travel Make You Happy

Adventure and Travel Make You Happy

photography, travel, adventure

Aurora while photographing Polar Bears in the Arctic

The world is a book and  those who do not travel have only read a single page ~ Saint Augustine

So it’s a bit of a lazy Sunday night for me tonight, work last week was an absolute bare.  I was productive this weekend but tonight I’m just a bit worn out.  So I thought I would cheat a little bit tonight and write about my favorite subjects, travel and adventure.   Okay,  maybe not so much write about them as lay down some links to my previous writings.  Travel is something  I encourage everyone to do, the trip doesn’t have to be long or expensive.  You don’t have to travel far, as long as you are going someplace new you’re on an adventure and adventure pushes you out of your comfort zone.  It is once you’re out of your comfort zone that change really happens in your life and if you’re not as happy as you’d like to be, you need to change.  If you change you can be happier my friends.  So here are some posts from my past adventures, I hope you enjoy them. ~ Rev Kane

Rev Kane in Wadi Rum in Jordan

The Ancient City of Petra

My Polar Bear Adventure

Swimming with Whale Sharks

My Himalaya Adventure

Hiking Havasupai Falls

Precious Moments on the Appalachian Trail

Happiness and the three questions

My book on hiking the Appalachian Trail

 

 

 

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Happy Summer Solstice!!!

Happy Summer Solstice!!!

happiness solstice

 

 

 

 

Happy Solstice my friends, today a happy day as we get more light than any other day of the year.  So here’s a really beautiful poem for you to read and reflect on the longest day and the beauty of love and nature.  Give it a read and have a happy Summer Solstice my friends ~ Rev Kane

Summer Solstice

by Stacie Cassarino

I wanted to see where beauty comes from

without you in the world, hauling my heart

across sixty acres of northeast meadow,

my pockets filling with flowers.

Then I remembered,

it’s you I miss in the brightness

and body of every living name:

rattlebox, yarrow, wild vetch.

You are the green wonder of June,

root and quasar, the thirst for salt.

When I finally understand that people fail

at love, what is left but cinquefoil, thistle,

the paper wings of the dragonfly

aeroplaning the soul with a sudden blue hilarity?

If I get the story right, desire is continuous,

equatorial. There is still so much

I want to know: what you believe

can never be removed from us,

what you dreamed on Walnut Street

in the unanswerable dark of your childhood,

learning pleasure on your own.

Tell me our story: are we impetuous,

are we kind to each other, do we surrender

to what the mind cannot think past?

Where is the evidence I will learn

to be good at loving?

The black dog orbits the horseshoe pond

for treefrogs in their plangent emergencies.

There are violet hills,

there is the covenant of duskbirds.

The moon comes over the mountain

like a big peach, and I want to tell you

what I couldn’t say the night we rushed

North, how I love the seriousness of your fingers

and the way you go into yourself,

calling my half-name like a secret.

I stand between taproot and treespire.

Here is the compass rose

to help me live through this.

Here are twelve ways of knowing

what blooms even in the blindness

of such longing. Yellow oxeye,

viper’s bugloss with its set of pink arms

pleading do not forget me.

We hunger for eloquence.

We measure the isopleths.

I am visiting my life with reckless plenitude.

The air is fragrant with tiny strawberries.

Fireflies turn on their electric wills:

an effulgence. Let me come back

whole, let me remember how to touch you

before it is too late.

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Reflecting on the Year So Far

Reflecting on the Year So Far

happiness, quote

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First by reflection which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience which is the bitterest. ~ Confucius

So for my Sunday night post this week I decided to sit back and reflect on the first six months of this year. In beginning each year, I don’t necessarily do resolutions but I do try to set some goals.  For this year the focus was on my upcoming adventure, originally that was to try to do 7 hikes on 7 continents and I was hoping to get up to 10,000 social media followers and then do a crowd source funding campaign to fund the adventure.  Well something I learned a long time ago was that I can make plans, but the only thing I am really deciding is a general direction that has once again proven to be true.

The Best Laid Plans

fear happiness

Fear is killing your happiness

The first revision to my plans this year was that the 7 hikes plan wasn’t going to work.  Unfortunately, partially due to my fear that I couldn’t make the crowd funding work and wouldn’t have the funding to do the whole plan.  So I began to adjust things and decided initially to change my plans and start by moving to Oaxaca City, Mexico, do two months there then head to Machu Picchu and a month in Peru.

My Broken Heart

broken heart, happiness

So I had the plans in place for my trip and was trying to get some medical procedures taken care of before I go off work-based great insurance and go on to disaster control insurance.  So I had a wisdom tooth pulled and I scheduled a surgery to remove a lump from my back.  My blood pressure medication was no longer being effective so on the day of my surgery it spiked and I got cancelled out and needed to get cleared for the surgery by a cardiologist.  Well he heard a heart murmur and that started a medical roller-coaster that has lasted the last two months diagnosed me with a broken-heart and ended with my finally getting my surgery accomplished.

surgery, happiness

Little lump, giant bandage

So with my diagnosis of an aortic aneurysm doing time hiking at high altitude didn’t seem like the best idea so it was time to juggle my plans once again.

On the Road Again

travel, happinessSo just because I have a newly diagnosed heart condition, doesn’t mean I’m not going on an adventure, life is not about existing but about actually living.  That is one idea that I truly hope that I have gotten across to you in writing this blog, it is without a doubt my deepest core value.  So I set about planning once again.

I will still be wrapping my job up at the end of June and hitting the road in early July.  I’m planning a few days in Las Vegas to celebrate the fourth of July.

las vegas, happiness, travel

Vegas Baby!

I then plan on meeting up with some friends in Sacramento, Lake Tahoe and Reno.  From there I will head east, making a stop in Nebraska to see a friend I haven’t seen in 25 years!  From there I’ll float east to Chicago and do something off my bucket list, catch a day game at Wrigley Field.  I had initially thought to take a trip to Pittsburgh to catch a Pirate game two days later, but then I found out that Steeler Training camp is opening and so instead, one more bucket list item, a day at Steeler’s Training camp in Latrobe, PA.

steelers, pittsburgh, bucket list

Rev Kane at a Steeler Game in Pittsburgh

From Pittsburgh I’ll be heading east to NY and hopefully Boston and see some family and friends before leaving the country.  My plans are to head for Glasgow, Scotland and after a couple of days in Glasgow and a stop at one of my favorite places St. Mungo’s Museum of Religious Art. I’ll head off to hike the Western Highland and the Great Glen Way. I’ve done the Great Glen before and really looking forward to the full two-week experience.

happiness, hikingFrom there after a quick stop in Edinburgh I head for Spain and plan to hike the Camino de Santiago Primitivo, this should be another 2-3 three-week hike ending at the Spanish Coast.

happiness scotland

Rev Kane goin native in the Scottish Highlands

From Spain it will be train time, train rides down through Portugal with a couple of stops eventually heading to Gibraltar and the ferry ride to Tangier in Morocco.  A couple of weeks in Morocco and then back through Spain, and eventually Glasgow and a flight back to New York. Once in New York I’m planning on doing the 100 mile NY section of the Appalachian Trail, including the last 7 miles of Connecticut that I have left to do.  Once completed that will give 8 out of 14 states finished on the Appalachian Trail.

be happy, hiking, appalachian trail, tennessee

Rev Kane on the Appalachian Trail at the Tennessee border.

From there the plan is to head off to Oaxaca City for a few months, continue to work on my Spanish language skills and do a whole lot of writing!  As well as working on a new website that I’m working on with a friend, but more about that at a later time.

So in looking back at the last six months although a lot has changed and it’s been a wild roller-coaster I’m pretty pleased with the year so far.  I’ve been through a lot but my plans are in place and I have one heck of an adventure to look forward to in the next six months.  And on the social media front, this past weekend I did finally hit that 10,000 social media follower goal, which was a goal for the year, it’s really important to believe in yourself and so far, so good in 2018!

Hopefully in looking back at your own year you see lot’s of good and lot’s of happiness, challenges overcome and that you have some positive things to look forward to coming up, including many happy days my friends.  ~ Rev Kane

 

 

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Rev Kane, Celebrating 10,000!

Rev Kane, Celebrating 10,000!

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. ~ Oprah Winfrey

Thank you!!!

So my goal for this year was to reach 10,000 followers across my social media accounts and I’m very excited to say that I hit the mark this past week!

rev kane, slower pace of life, can make you happy

A slower pace of life can make you happy

First off I want to say thank you to all of you who support the Ministry of Happiness in all of it’s various forms and outlets, I deeply appreciate your interest and support.  As a reminder of what all of those ways are, below is a list, just click on the links and please feel free to share with others if you like what we do here. ~ Rev Kane

To subscribe to the blog and get every post in your email:  Follow this link

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Pinterest

Links to my books, first my book about hiking the Appalachian Trail and also my first book of poetry, Otherness.

 

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Take Time to Stop and Take in the Beauty Around You

Take Time to Stop and Take in the Beauty Around You

Appalachian trail, happiness, hiking

Fall on the AT

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. ~ Dale Carnegie

We are all busy people, we have jobs and families.  We have responsibilities and commitments.  The last week and a half at work have been especially stressful.  I was out of the office for the most part for four weeks so the work has piled up and the deadlines, well the deadlines are best addressed by a better writer than me, Douglas Adams.

It’s been a hard time for another reason as well, one that  I was only aware of apparently on a subconscious level until my sister reminded me today.  It’s been two years since my granny past.  She was an incredibly important person to me and I miss her dearly.  I wrote about her before in a piece called, Happiness is Granny, and here’s a picture of her from a couple of years ago.

happiness, granny

My granny looking cool

Add to the mix people acting especially stupidly lately, things not going the way I’d like.  I’ve also been very quietly dealing with what I can only describe as some personal emotional devastation lately.  I’ve worked through most of it, in the next week it comes to ahead for me.  All of this has amped up my stress levels pretty significantly.  However, Thanksgiving is coming and it is by far my favorite holiday and I’ve got a nine-day Christmas break coming as well.  So things will get better my friends.

In the middle of all of this the other day I walked out of my office in a pretty high level of frustration and looked out at the mountains west of campus.

happiness, photography

The view from outside my office

I was instantly reminded of my favorite teacher in high school, Mr. Sullivan, the first person to truly teach me the lesson that we have to appreciate the beauty all around us.  You see our classroom faced the Catskill Mountains and there were many beautiful views like the one above.  He would on those days suddenly stop class, turn to us, command us in his best Shakespearean voice, “to the windows children, to the windows, look at the beauty, look at the beauty.”  He was a magnificent human and an even better teacher.

As a traveler an adventurer and a photographer I often put myself in magnificent places where there is beauty all around.  It’s how I get great photos, it’s not much talent, just me being smart enough to put myself in really great places like the Himalayas, Ireland, Havasupai Falls or even Burning Man. You can see over 1200 of my images on my Instagram account @ReverendMichaelKane.

happiness, burning man

One of my favorite photos from Burning Man this year

It’s easy to stop and appreciate the beauty when you’re at an event with thousands of pieces of art, or in the highest mountains on earth.  The real trick, the truly important trick, is to remember to do this in everyday life.

happiness, flowers, photography

A picture I stopped and took while driving between meetings this spring

We have to look at beauty everyday.  While we’re in the middle of driving kids to soccer practice, when we’re walking to our cars from our office or taking out the garbage.  Those are the moments it’s truly important to stop and drink in the beauty that is all around us.  Doing this will bring you happy days my friends. ~ Rev Kane

Some Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

My Polar Bear Adventure

My Himalayan Trek

Burning Man

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Happiness Resources: Making Change Happen

Happiness Resources: Making Change Happen

happiness humor change

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself ~ Leo Tolstoy

Tonight a couple of quick resources related to making and keeping positive change in your life.  I especially like the first piece it has a lot of great advice, so give it a read and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

 

First a great piece on the Anatomy of Change

Personal Growth: Four Obstacles to Personal Change

Five Steps to Positive Life Change, this one is a little more theoretical and wordy

 

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Goodbye Anthony Bourdain

Goodbye Anthony Bourdain

anthony bourdain, suicide, travel, adventureI woke up this morning to the news that Anthony Bourdain had died, or more accurately had committed suicide.  It made me incredibly sad, if you read this blog and follow my travels it will come as no surprise that I saw Anthony Bourdain as both a kindred spirit and someone who I looked up to.  His life, being paid to travel, explore and tell stories would be my dream life.  So many people like and looked up to him, his popularity spread across a lot of age groups.  In the last five years I’ve twice been given what I consider to be an amazing compliment.  Both times, by younger women, I was told you kind of remind me of Anthony Bourdain, one even added, you know the attractive older guy thing.  I’ll take that compliment and comparison every single time.

One of my friends on Facebook this morning captured it very well when she wrote he was one of us.  I really got what she meant, he might have been this mainstream CNN chef guy, but in fact he just felt like he was one of us.  What do I mean by one of us, well, complicated, a bit of a square peg, not quite normal.  I tend to drift towards the people who don’t quite fit, who are a little off, people who are more than they seem and often yes, this also means they are at least a bit damaged.  Anthony Bourdain, although I never met him, very much felt like one of us.

Suicide has been very much in the news with the death of Kate Spade earlier in the week and a report that suicide rates in the United States have been climbing over the last ten years, alarming so in some places.  The message about suicide and mental health gets hammered home when it’s someone famous, someone who seems to have everything the rest of us dream about.  Recently, I posted what Will Wheaton wrote about his own mental health, depression and anxiety it’s a really amazing read.

I’ve written in the past about my own depression, my own brush with suicide, the fact that thankfully when I had the gun in my mouth I was too much of a coward to pull the trigger.  I know that I’ll never commit suicide after that moment, after years of working on my own issues, but I’d be a liar if I said that I no longer understood that feeling.  That I still don’t have those momentary thoughts where I think it’s all pointless, those moments where the mouth of the well of despair isn’t wide open and inviting me to jump back in.  So I understand how someone who seems to have everything can end up back in that well. I’m sorry Anthony Bourdain found his way back there.

In my biography I call myself a sampler of life, I love life in all of its myriad of differences, love exploring every bit of it, finding new things, new kindred spirits and experiences.  Life is so short and tenuous, but such an amazing adventure.  It is always my hope that those who struggle can get a glimpse of that, can find a way to reach out to the people who care about them in the hard moments, although it often doesn’t seem like it, please know they are out there.  What I want for everyone today is a long comforting hug from someone who cares.

Goodbye Anthony Bourdain

anthony bourdain, suicide, travel, adventureAs you move through this life and this world you change things slightly, you leave marks behind, however small. And in return, life — and travel — leaves marks on you. Most of the time, those marks — on your body or on your heart — are beautiful. Often, though, they hurt.  ~ Anthony Bourdain

 

 

 

 

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Happiness is Not Safety

Happiness is Not Safety

maslow happiness safety
The quote above has been flowing around the internet and possibly truer words have never been spoken. If you don’t move forward, take chances, risk yourself in some way, you stagnate. True, you revert to a place that is more predictable that is safer, but is that better, is that someplace you’ll truly be happier?

I say no, and I give you this example. Remember the first time you fell in love, remember that amazingly terrifying feeling of falling helplessly and loving every second and every breath you took during those moments. You never get there, you never feel that way without making a change, taking a step forward. Yes, often that feeling was followed by the normal rollercoaster of love, but would you avoid the downside, trade that most amazing feelings, for being safe and never hurt but never knowing love. No matter the pain you’ve felt I don’t think you would.

So be bold my friends, identify the step and take it, boldly, bravely and take the happiness you deserve and along the way, remember to have a good day my friends ~ Rev Kane

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We All Need More Kindness

We All Need More Kindness

kindness, quoteNo act of kindness, no matter how small is ever wasted. ~ Aesop

Recently, I’ve been thinking about aliens and first contact.  One of the theories around how people will react to that news is that we will all pull together under the idea of having a common adversary if you will.  That first contact will usher in an age of compassion and understanding for the human race.  It seems sad to me that what we believe, what it may in fact take, to bring the human race together would be first contact. That we need an existential outside threat to our very existence in order to be kind to one another.  Why can’t we all just get along?  Well I’ve been thinking about how we maybe we can make some progress in that direction, I think we all need more kindness, gratitude and forgiveness.

We all need more Kindness

kindness happinessI understand we all have busy lives, I understand we’re all doing what we can to live good lives and to be good people.  So I know better than suggest that you all become angels.  No doubt, there are Angels Among Us, I’ve written about them but that’s not what we need.  I think all we need is for all of us to do a bit better, to find ways to show more kindness.  We can do it in a hundred little ways that take almost no effort.  You can let some one go in front of you in line, let someone into to traffic while you’re driving.  You can hold the door for someone and not just if they are a step behind you, but once in a while hold the door for that person whose more than a few steps out there.  Smile at people, say hello and hell instead of shaking your friend’s hand give them a hug, we can all use a little more physical contact.  Doesn’t take much, but if we all just did one extra thing tomorrow, what a beautiful Monday it would be.

There are reasons to be grateful

gratitude happinessDevelop and attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward, achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.                   ~ Brian Tracy

There is a lot of evidence that demonstrates that there are many benefits to showing gratitude.  It’s funny, we seem to understand this each November, you’ll see your Facebook feed fill up in that month with lot’s of statements of gratitude, but it’s important the other eleven months as well.  It doesn’t take much to show gratitude, just a minute at the beginning or the end of your day to think about all the things you’re grateful for, but maybe we can all go just a little further.  Maybe we find some time this week to thank someone for something they might not even know they’ve done for us.  Tell someone who has inspired you, that they have, thank that teacher who changed your life.  Or call your parents, grandparents, or a friend and tell them just what they’ve done for you.  Again, if we could all just show a little more gratitude, next week would be a wonderful week.

The power of forgiveness

forgiveness, forgive, happinessThe weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute  of the strong.           ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Over my life, this has always been the hardest one for me.  There’s a line from the movie Sin City, “never give an Irishman cause for revenge.” Now, I don’t want to malign the entire genetic line of the good people of Ireland, I love that country.  I’ve had some cycling adventures there that were truly spectacular.  But there does seem to be some truth in that statement when it comes to the Irishman in my own personal line, including me.

I was a very angry man when I was younger, and I held on to that anger.  What they say about anger is true, it eats you up inside.  It ate me up, the anger also helped fuel my depression.  I knew for a very long time I needed to forgive the people I was angry at, but it took me a very long time to get there.  It’s really hard work to get to a place of forgiveness but it’s worth the work my friends.  It helped me become a happier person and can help you as well.  There are benefits to forgiving others.

Have a Happy Day My Friends

To come full circle from where I started tonight, how much better would the world be if it was a lot kinder and more forgiving, if there was more gratitude expressed on a regular basis?  The thing is my friends, that all comes down to us, all of us, if we start by being grateful, by forgiving more easily, by just being a little kinder, by our sheer numbers the world becomes a better place and we all have happier days.  ~ Rev Kane

Our Best Posts of 2017

Believe  in Yourself and Be Happy

Happiness is Blue Poop

The Dalai Lama on Tolerance and Patience

Happiness is Art:  Van Gogh

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