The Importance of Self-Reliance and Resilience

The importance of Self-Reliance and Resilience

happy, self-reliance

People who truly understand what is meant by self-reliance know they must live their lives by ethics rather than rules. ~ Wayne Dyer

I believe in Karma

I believe in Karma, it makes sense to me, not just in a meta-physical and spiritual way, but quite simply on physics terms.  You see one of Newton’s laws of physics is that every action has an equal and opposite reaction.  Simply demonstrated, if you create a wave in a puddle, a lake, or even an ocean, the wave, once it reaches the opposite shore will bounce off of that edge and return.  So for every wave you push away, you get one coming back at you.

In terms of our lives we must understand that we are constantly creating waves.  And quite simply the type of things you push out into the world, are likely to be the types of things that return to you.  So if you push out anger, mistrust, dishonesty and pain, what comes back has a tendency to not be pleasant.  The opposite of course, if you put forth positivity, kindness, compassion and love, you’re like to get back the same in return.

Now the thing that usually frustrates people in terms of Karma is the time it takes for the wheel to come full circle.  People see others who put out so much negativity and then seemingly never suffer the consequences.  The timing of Karma can seem fickle, but we must remember it takes time for the waves to return and almost never on our schedule.

And even if you put out good things, it doesn’t mean that your life will always be perfect.  Bad things still happen to good people, no matter how kind or wonderful.  It’s for that reason that you must learn to be self-reliant and resilient.  I recently did a post on the ways to be resilient, so I’ll talk mostly tonight about self-reliance.

What is Self-Reliance?

What I mean by self-reliance, is the ability to handle your own issues and problems and to have the skills to bravely move forward as an independent person.  This isn’t to say there aren’t times when we all need help.  But it’s really important to have the skills to solve your own problems whenever possible.  Like almost every skill, the more you use it, the move confidence you’ll have, the bigger the issues you’ll be able to resolve.  At the core of it is your will.  You have to willing to be able to try to solve your own issues and problems.   If you are unable, then you should reach out to others for help.  Too many people assume they are unable and immediately look to others.  Of course some of us err the other way as well, never for asking for help even when they should.

Being self-reliant means you think for yourself, you don’t assume that what others say or do is what you should say or do.  You make up your own mind, go your own way and be your own person.  You take care of your responsibilities and issues, and only when truly necessary do you ask for help.  You might ask, why?  Why wouldn’t I always rely on the people who care about me to help me with all of my issues, decisions and desires.  The answer is simple, they have their own lives as well, and quite frankly if you always need their help eventually you will ask too much.  Asking less, and when it’s only truly necessary, will garner goodwill and make people more willing to help when you truly need it.

How do you become more Self-Reliant?

There’s a very good article on self-reliance in Positive Psychology.  The article talks about the core ideas of self-reliance as well as the skills needed and how to develop them.  The true core of self-reliance comes from knowing yourself and having a true set of ethics and rules that you live by.  Possessing, understanding and living by a set of core values gives you a foundation from which to build self-reliance on.  As you do that, it will be easier to ask questions like, why does everyone believe that?  Why should I?  It will give you the foundation and the strength upon which to build an independent, and I believe, a happier life.  And I believe this because people who understand and live by a set of core values, who are independent and self-reliant, are less prone to fear and worry.  And less fear and worry lead to happier days my friends. ~ Rev Kane

 

 

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Happiness is Art: Chihuly

Happiness is Art: Chihuly

happiness, art, chihuly

 

 

 

I never met a color I didn’t like

~ Dale Chihuly

 

Tonight a look at a really amazing glass artist, you’ve almost certainly seen his work in Las Vegas or at the Monterey Bay Aquarium or in traveling exhibits.  I’ve been fortunate enough to see all three and his work is truly magnificent.  So take a look at some amazing images, enjoy, and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

happiness, art, chihuly 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

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Happiness is Laughter: Bored People

Happiness is Laughter: Bored People

bored funny happinessThe two enemies of human happiness are pain and boredom.
~ Arthur Schopenhauer

Tonight my friends a tour around the web with some funny items related to boredom, have a look and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

 

A guy in the Las Vegas Airport does a little Celine Dion

The Bored Panda site, jokes, videos, clip, pics….

Things to do when you’re bored, a whole site full of really silly ways to waste a few minutes.

I’ve always loved this Silly Old People Video for the anti-boredom campaign.

Some of these are really good, Things People do at Work When They’re Bored

 

 

 

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The Philosophy of Happiness

The Philosophy of Happiness

Philosophy of Happiness

The Philosophy of Happiness

So a little search of the web tonight on Philosophy and Happiness and a few resources and interesting pieces of reading, have a happy day my friends.    ~ Rev Kane

Originally posted March 2018

I really like this first piece, it has some great advice!

Hedonist Philosopher Epicurus was right about happiness, more or less

Happiness, Philosophy and Science

A post from the Total Wellbeing blog 

A look at happiness from the perspective of classic philosophers 

From the philosophy and life blog 

 

Some Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

Happiness and Becoming Who You Are

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Our Best Happiness Posts for 2015

Revisiting Some of Our Best Posts & Pictures

There are Angels Among Us: A True Story of Giving & Kindness

Remember the Sweet Things

Happiness is Not Safety

 

 

 

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Slow down!

Slow down!

What a wonderful life I’ve had!  I only wish I’d realized it sooner.  ~ Colette

mindful

Originally posted October, 2010

Our week is going by and as we are waking up to another week, making breakfast, commuting to work, catching up on e-mail, touching base with those we work with, organizing our schedule, remembering what the heck we were doing on Friday suddenly it’s lunchtime.  This is the problem  with our lives in general, we are all so preoccupied with moving forward, accomplishing the next task, making the next meeting, picking up the kids or preparing the next meal that we forget to breathe.

Slow down
Breathe
Take that moment
Or this one
And breathe it in
Deeply
Slowly
Stop and see the world
Not the bigger world
Not out there
But the one in front of you
Around you
The one you’re enveloped in
For in the end
Your are it
And it is you
And to not know it
Is to not know yourself

So take that moment and just breathe, take the time to look around and appreciate what you have, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

 There are two things to aim at in life:  first, to get what you want; and after that, to enjoy it.  Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.  ~ Logan Pearsall Smith, Afterthoughts, 1931

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

How Travel Makes You Happier

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Our Best Happiness Posts of 2015

My favorite Appalachian Trail Photos of 2015

Why I’m Happy Right Now!

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Happiness means being you and not hiding

Happiness means being you and not hiding

happiness, be happy

Happy means being you

If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it. ~ Frank Zappa

Originally posted September, 2013

The seeds of thoughts for these pieces come at interesting times and often I don’t see a connection to where they came from until I sit down to write them, and sometimes not even then.  This morning however the connection is fairly obvious to me as it’s a realization I’ve been having over the last few months, more accurately something I’m realizing once again.  That realization is I think, a pretty fundamental one, the more genuine you are the happier you will be.  Ok, so Rev Kane goes for a Duh realization today.  However in my experience, the greatest discoveries you make about yourself are the ones that really should have been pretty obvious but we overlooked them.

The times I feel at my best, low-levels of stress, higher levels of energy and generally more happy are the times I’m being me and not playing one of the many roles in my life.  We all have these roles, we play mommy or daddy, we play employee, we play proper citizen and all of these roles generally have one thing in common.  We are performing in such a way as to conform to the expectations of others.  You “act” like a parent in given situations because people will talk if you don’t.  You wear the appropriate clothes, tone down your language and let people who are unkind to us off the hook, why?  Because supposedly that’s what a good employee does.  We dress a certain ways, act certain ways mostly because we don’t want to be singled out, or talked about, or judged by others.  In the end this makes us more sheep than people.

happiness, peaceful

Happiness is being you, being unique

I’m here to tell you today friends that all of that acting and costuming does more harm than good.  I’m not saying you can absolutely flout the rules and laws of society or your community with impunity, there will be consequences.  And there are good things to conform to; we don’t want people murdering everyone who cuts them off in traffic.  But who are you?  If you hate crowds and social gatherings you don’t have to attend every work social event.  You don’t always have to hold your tongue.  Express your personal style in the way you speak, act and dress, be open about what you think and believe.  To me, the only rules in all of this are don’t act in ways that hurt others or inhibit the rights of others to express their own personal style.   The closer you get to being YOU all of the time, the happier you will be.

Like everything though, there will be consequences, people will interact with you differently, you will be singled out a bit, you’ll be judged but fundamentally it’s ok for you to be you, the judgments of others are not as relevant as you being, loving and most of all accepting who you are.  So, go out today and be you and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Other Happiness Posts You Might Enjoy!

Our Best Happiness Posts

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Remember the Sweet Things

Happiness is Safety

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Finding Happiness in the Apocalypse

Finding Happiness in the Apocalypse

happines quote

I’ve been joking for awhile that we’re in the apocalypse.  I’ve talked in this blog about how this may in fact be a slow motion apocalypse.  What do I mean by that?  We always envision the apocalypse like it happens in a disaster movie.  Someone notices something wrong, then within fifteen minutes, super volcanoes are exploding, giant earthquakes are happening, the tsunami hits or the aliens have landed.  Then everything goes haywire and the world is completely upside down in every way and you’re being chased down the street by zombies.  That’s not what we’re living with right now, but certainly our whole world has been turned upside down.  So we might not being chased by Zombies, but we’re working from home, our travel is limited, almost 8 million people have become ill, over 200,000 are dead.  Schools are closed, for a time most of us were on full lockdown.  That we are all under more stress right now is a given, we’re all at least a little afraid of getting sick, or of family getting sick.  A lot of us know someone who has died from this disease.

So how do you find happiness in our slow motion apocalypse?

The answer is likely going to be a bit disappointing.  You see, you find it now like you always have.  It starts with protecting your health, minimizing negativity, getting out of your comfort zone, feeling safe and secure and finding joy.  So a little bit about each one in our apocalyptic times.

Protecting your health

This one should be the easiest thing right now as it’s at the forefront of all of our thoughts.  But staying healthy doesn’t just mean wearing a mask when you’re out and about among other people.  It means eating right, sleeping enough, finding ways to exercise and making sure you take your medications and following the advice from your doctor.  During the pandemic, it might also mean either getting some sun each day or taking some vitamin D supplements, there’s beginning to be some evidence showing it may provide some protection against COVID.

Minimizing negativity

This one is always pretty easy advice on paper and much harder in life, but it’s pretty simple.  If there are people, institutions, etc… in your life that reduce your happiness, if at all possible cut them out.  It may mean reducing contact with someone, less time on social media or changing stores.  On a larger level and over a larger time scale, it may mean doing something as large as moving or changing jobs.

Getting out of your comfort zone

This is, as regular readers know, my favorite piece of advice on happiness.  For me, this has always meant adventure and adventure for me means travel.  So right now, travel isn’t a great option.  So we have to find smaller and innovative ways to get out of our comfort zone.  But there are still lots of ways  to do it.  Camping, is an activity you can still do, so if you’re not a camper it’s a way to start stretching yourself.  If you’ve done some camping, maybe try doing some backcountry camping and hiking.  It could mean something as simple as cooking different types of food you’ve never made before, or the ever present pandemic cliche of learning how to make sourdough bread.  If you’re someone who regularly walks a trail or in a park, try doing the exact same walk at night, you’ll be amazed at how different it will be.

Learning something new is a great way to get out of your comfort zone.  Personally I’ve been working on improving my Spanish Language skills using Duolingo.  But equally, you could learn a musical instrument, computer programming, knitting or just about anything else.

Feeling safe and secure

Taoist philosophy discusses that in order to be happy that first you must be healthy and secondly you must feel safe and secure.  That can mean either physically or mentally.  So always make sure you’re doing what you have to do to maintain your safety.  When it comes to protecting your mental safety, it often goes back to avoiding negativity as we discussed before.

Finding joy

This one seems like it really should be easier and maybe that says something about the complexity of our modern lives that it isn’t.  But the easiest way for most of us to find joy is through play.  For me, the easiest way to get there is interact with little kids.  They are still in a place in life where they contact joy quickly and easily and that joy is contagious.  Playing games or make believe with little kids is such an amazing gateway to this, I highly recommend it.  If that’s not an option than go play like a kid, run around in a park, find ways to laugh, just be plain silly and hopefully that will bring you to joy.

It may be the apocalypse, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be happy.  So do what you can my friends and have a happy day. ~ Rev Kane

 

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Take a Hike in Armstrong Woods

Take a Hike in Armstrong Woods

hike, hiking, armstrong woods

Armstrong Woods

Mountains are the cathedrals where I practice my religion                                      ~ Anatoli Boukreev

Originally posted July, 2017

Update: Part of Armstrong Woods were burned in the recent wildfires, very sad.

Armstrong Woods

I used Armstrong Woods in Northern California as one of my training spots before my Appalachian Trail hike two years ago.  I had not had the chance to get back there until this week.  I really love Armstrong Woods, it’s a beautiful state park full of Redwoods and Live Oaks and a lot of different levels of hikes.  You can do the flat ground look at the big trees loop.  You can do a little bit of uphill, a lot of uphill or you can kick your own ass doing a big loop.  The mileage isn’t huge but there are plenty of places on the bigger loops that range in 500 to 800 foot per mile slopes.  So my 8 mile loop this week wasn’t long but it definitely woke up my glutes and my quads and had me breathing heavy from time to time.

hike, hiking, armstrong woods

Take a hike in Armstrong Woods

One of the things I was interested in seeing was my speed and fitness difference from before and after my Appalachian Trail hiking experience.  I was happy that both had improved, I didn’t stop on the biggest climb of the day, I had three stops there when I was training.  Over the 8 miles I was about a half hour faster, not a huge gain but one that made me happy.  And one that verifies that the fitness routine I’ve kept up since the trail is helping me hang on to at least a decent level of hiking fitness.

hike, hiking, armstrong woods

A place for a break

The First Big Climb of the Day

I start on the East Ridge Trail whenever I’m hiking in Armstrong Woods.  It’s a trail that hits you straight away with a quick climb right out of the parking lot.  Then a much bigger climb, the first big climb of the day, the 4 or 5 small climbs in succession.  Day hikers her right on my tail out of the lot, started to drop away on the big climb and by the fourth climb I never saw them again.

I love the first big climb of the day.  At first, it’s absolutely horrible, especially if you haven’t been on trail for a time.  Your legs start whining, your heart starts thumping, your hips are asking what they did to deserve you putting all the weight on them.  The pack is uncomfortable, it cuts into your shoulder or your neck, the waist strap is wrong.  You lungs start screaming and you don’t feel like you can even breathe right, or at all.

Then as a hiker, your body starts to remember, your legs stop whining, your hips give into acceptance, you get the straps moved around.  You lungs remember they can fully expand and so you start taking in enough air.  Your pace starts to level out, you start remembering how to walk and breathe in concert, how to set the right pace for the hill, it all starts to fall into place.  The best part of this is not that you start to feel better, it’s the expansion of focus.  On the early part of that first hill, your entire focus is right with you, a tiny little bubble of perception around your body focused on your body parts, your pack and the step right in front of you. Then you find your stride, your body relaxes and your focus starts to expand.  You start to notice how quiet it is, you smell the forest, you hear the birds and the litter critters scattering away.  You start to feel like part of the forest, it’s usually about that time you’re rewarded with your first big critter or some cool sight.  For me this week it was a doe and two fawns who blasted up the hill as I took a corner.  I was home again.

hike, hiking, armstrong woods

Rev Kane in Armstrong Woods

It’s at this point that you absolutely remember why you’re here, why you hike, why even though tomorrow your quads will be sore, your calves tight, even though later your feet will hurt, it was all absolutely worth it.  The nice thing on the East Ridge Trail, is all this happens with in the first mile and a half.  The left me with a couple of hours of just being, walking watching squirrels play, lizards dance and scramble.  Noticing light filtering through the redwood trees.  Nothing but amazing, nothing but quiet and nature, well unless until the guy came up the trail behind me with his radio playing.  But it was a brief annoyance as he took another trail and I was alone again.  This is why I love hiking.  So my friends take some time, get out and take a walk, go up that first big climb of the day and have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

hike, hiking, Armstrong Woods

Redwoods in Armstrong Woods

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

Happiness is Taking Risks

Appalachian Trail Happiness: Acceptance is the Way

Happiness is Not Safety

Happiness is Blue Poop

My Polar Bear Adventure

Appalachian Trail Happiness: My Best Posts

 

 

 

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Deng Ming-Dao on Happiness

Deng Ming-Dao on Happiness

happiness

Deng Ming-Dao on Happiness

Let us not follow vulgar leaders
Who exploit the fear of death,
And promise the bliss of salvation.
If we are truly happy,
They will have nothing to offer.

Some leaders use threats to win adherents.  They invoke death to force good behavior and to herd people toward paradise.

Others woo with grand promises.  If you have no satisfaction, they offer bliss.  If you feel inadequate, they offer success, If you are lonely, they offer acceptance.

But if we do not fear death and are happy, what will such leaders have to offer?  Spirituality is an organic part of daily life, not something dispensed by a professional.  True spirituality is liberation, not just from the delusions of reality but from the delusions of religion as well.  If we attain freedom from the fear of death, a sound way of health, and a path of understanding through life, there is happiness and no need for false leaders.

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Happiness & Laughing

Happiness & Laughing

At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. – Jean Houston

raft

Everyone smiles in the same language. – Author Unknown

Originally posted May, 2013

At one point while first living in Sacramento California I took a raft trip down the American River with some friends.  Now to be clear this was more of a float than serious rafting and accompanying me were five of my friends including two couples.  The one couple consisted of a friend of mine and his girlfriend from Germany.  Now there was some drinking going on during this little trip and the girl from Germany didn’t drink so I thought it was important that I be able to call for help in German, should I need her assistance.  She patiently taught me the phrase,” help I’m drowning” in German, and laughed like hell when I repeated it.  I assumed I was somehow butchering the accent, but we were communicating and I felt safer.

During this trip one of the most amazing things I ever saw happened.  At one point while were playing around in waist deep water, the other woman with us on the trip was sitting on the edge of the raft drinking a cup of beer.  The raft was bucked by her boyfriend so violently that she actually bounced up and did a full flip landing feet first standing in the river.  That was not the amazing part, throughout the entire bounce, flip and landing she never spilled a single drop from her cup.  It was truly beautiful.

Throughout the day I kept playing around and yelling in my butchered German, “help I’m drowning!”  My friend’s girlfriend continued to laugh and laugh and then at the end of the day she came up to me and explained what was making her laugh so much.  Apparently a slight mispronunciation on my part had changed the phrase from help I’m drowning, to the more appropriate, “help I’m drinking!”  We all got a great laugh out of that and this story and that phrase has gotten me a lot of laughs from a lot of Germans I’ve met.  So remember to laugh my friends, even if it is at yourself and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

I live by this credo: Have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations. Even in your darkest moment, you usually can find something to laugh about if you try hard enough. – Red Skelton

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

Happiness and the Benefits of Gratitude

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Happiness is a Choice

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