Happiness is Reducing Stress

Happiness is Reducing Stress

Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life. ~ Marilu Henner

buddha

Originally posted January, 2016

Hello my friends, so a new year has started and many of us have resolved to make some changes in the coming new year.  We are addressing each of top ten resolutions and hopefully helping you be more successful.  Tonight, we talk about a very popular resolution, reducing stress in the new year.

Stress is devastating, it can impact your mental state and even your physical well being and even negatively impact your immune system making your more susceptible to illness.

Tonight I’m going to turn to the web to address several categories of stress and offer some resources on how to reduce it, hopefully this will help you have a less stressful new year and more happy days my friends ~ Rev Kane

How couples can help each other distress and improve their relationships

Twelve ways to eliminate stress at work

How does exercise reduce stress

Relaxation techniques for stress relief

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Happiness is Art: Sculptures in the Desert

Happiness is Art: Sculptures in the Desert

S23

The world is but a canvas to our imagination ~ Henry David Thoreau

As many of you know I’ve quit my job, sold my house and am traveling across the United States towards my appointed start date of February 26th to do a thru-hike of the Appalachian Trail (AT) from Springer Mountain, GA to Mount Katahdin, ME (2189 miles). This is another post from the road. ~ Rev Kane

So when I rolled into Borrego Springs a week ago I spotted some sculptures out in a field. It turns out that local artist Ricardo Breceda has teamed up with a local land owner to create these Skyart gardens around Borrego Springs.

I really dug the sculptures and so spent a little bit of time shooting them, I did not get close to finding all 130, but certainly found some that I really liked. So enjoy the photos and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

happiness, art S2 S3 S4 S5 S6 S7 S8 S9 S10 S11 S12 S13 S14 S15 S16 S17 S18 S19 S20 S21 S22 S24

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Happiness Moments: Following Bigfoot

Happiness Moments: Following Bigfoot

happiness, everest

At the Everest Rock Bar after the white knuckle flight to Lukla on the trail to Everest. My friend Mark is on the left.

Every man can transform the world from one of drabness and monotony to one of excitement and adventure. ~ Irving Wallace

So a new little writing experiment for the blog. I’ve been wanting to find a way to do some free writing as practice. And I’ve been wanting to capture the moments in my life that have brought me true happiness. I need that little pick me up right now with everything going on in the world and no real chance to travel. So, some writing about happy moments in my life, hope they bring you a little happiness too.

About ten years ago I went after a major bucket list item for me, and that was to hike on Mount Everest.  Not to summit, but to at least hike to base camp on the mountain at over 17,000 feet.  The fact is, the real draw for me was not even the mountain, it was the Khumbu Icefall.  I’d been enamored forever by all of this climbing movies where you see hikers scrambling over ladders laid across crevasses in the icefall.  One of the greatest thing about this trip was being able to step onto the icefall.  I’ve written a set of posts about my 30 days in Nepal in the Himalayas but tonight I want to write about one particular morning on the trail when I was following Bigfoot.

Part of this trip revolved around my interest for the Yeti, or as we call it in the US, Bigfoot.  At the Khumjung Gompa, there is a purported Yeti scalp that I had the privilege of getting to see up close.  I don’t believe it to be real, but it was fascinating to see.   I also was able to make it to the village of Machermo, a site of an incredibly famous encounter that a Sherpa woman had with a Yeti in that village back in 1974, that I had read about as a child.

My encounter with Bigfoot in Nepal was of a different nature.  If you’ve never done any long-distance group hiking let me tell you a little bit about how it works.  I think the popular image is that people walk all bunched up in a group, walking at the same pace and taking breaks at the same time.  In fact, you often find yourself hiking alone.  Everyone hikes at a different pace, so unless you are matching pace with someone you can sometimes spend large swaths of the day alone.  I actually like this aspect of long-distance hiking, it gives you a chance to be alone in nature when you want, and to have company when that is what your mood desires.

Snow isn’t common in November on Everest and so we really didn’t expect any, or if it came we didn’t expect more than a dusting.  One of the beautiful things about nature is that you often get the unexpected.  So it was a shock when we woke up one day to over seven inches at 17,000 feet, when we were only two miles from Base Camp on Everest.  This unprecedented and unexpected event caused a change in our plans and we needed to do a very ambitions swing 3,000 feet down the mountain, around, and back up 3,000 feet into the Gokyo Valley, instead of crossing over an 18,000 foot pass that the snow had now made impassable.

snow, winter, happiness

My snow day in the Himalayas

Although a very hard hike, it was a beautiful day, the combination of the snow and the sun in the mountains was magnificent.  We started out together but eventually, as happens, the group spread out across the trail and I found myself walking alone across snow covered trails in the Himalayan Mountains.  The only true way to follow the trail was to follow the footsteps in the snow.  And given we’d been the first group out in the morning, you could be confident in those steps leading you the right way.  This is important in an area where going off trail can lead to thousand foot drop offs into stone or river valleys below.  But it was sunny, clear and beautiful and the walking was good.  That is until the clouds came in and it started to snow again.

Now I grew up in the Northeast, so I’m wasn’t new to winter, to hiking in the snow or even to the whiteout conditions that were quickly taking shape.  However I’d be lying if I say I wasn’t a little nervous.  It wasn’t just a whiteout, but a whiteout in the Himalayas at 15,000 feet, with 1,000 foot drop offs.  So losing the trail could have some really significant consequences.  Luckily, being in an organized group, if need be I could just sit tight.  The group always had a guide up front and one trailing the group as a sweeper.  So eventually, someone in my group should come down the trail to where I was.  But we had a time crunch to make our ambitious hike that day, and sitting tight in a whiteout, not knowing how much snow was coming is not a comfortable thing to do.  So I decided to keep walking, besides, I had the footsteps in the snow to follow, at least until the snow and wind erased them.

Visibility got really bad, but I could still follow the footsteps.  Then, the trail of footsteps did exactly what I didn’t need them to do, they split into two different directions.  This is when Bigfoot became important.  Not the Yeti, but my friend Mark who was on the trip with me.  You see, I’d taken to calling him Bigfoot because of his size 14 shoes.  So here, in the middle of a whiteout, in the Himalayan Mountains, with diverging trails, there, on one of the trails was a footprint significantly larger than all of the others, Bigfoot.  So I followed Bigfoot’s steps and within an hour the snow had diminished, the winds dropped off, eventually even the clouds would blow through and the sun would re-appear.  About two hours after the whiteout I found myself in Sherpa Teahouse, a cup of hot lemon tea in my hand and large piece of warm Tibetan bread with peanut butter and honey in front of me.  That little meal was absolute bliss and even better, later that day on the same hike I would find my favorite place on earth, a little spot just above the second sacred lake in the Gokyo valley.

Second Sacred Lake in the Gokyo Valley

 

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The Importance of Self-Reliance and Resilience

The importance of Self-Reliance and Resilience

happy, self-reliance

People who truly understand what is meant by self-reliance know they must live their lives by ethics rather than rules. ~ Wayne Dyer

I believe in Karma

I believe in Karma, it makes sense to me, not just in a meta-physical and spiritual way, but quite simply on physics terms.  You see one of Newton’s laws of physics is that every action has an equal and opposite reaction.  Simply demonstrated, if you create a wave in a puddle, a lake, or even an ocean, the wave, once it reaches the opposite shore will bounce off of that edge and return.  So for every wave you push away, you get one coming back at you.

In terms of our lives we must understand that we are constantly creating waves.  And quite simply the type of things you push out into the world, are likely to be the types of things that return to you.  So if you push out anger, mistrust, dishonesty and pain, what comes back has a tendency to not be pleasant.  The opposite of course, if you put forth positivity, kindness, compassion and love, you’re like to get back the same in return.

Now the thing that usually frustrates people in terms of Karma is the time it takes for the wheel to come full circle.  People see others who put out so much negativity and then seemingly never suffer the consequences.  The timing of Karma can seem fickle, but we must remember it takes time for the waves to return and almost never on our schedule.

And even if you put out good things, it doesn’t mean that your life will always be perfect.  Bad things still happen to good people, no matter how kind or wonderful.  It’s for that reason that you must learn to be self-reliant and resilient.  I recently did a post on the ways to be resilient, so I’ll talk mostly tonight about self-reliance.

What is Self-Reliance?

What I mean by self-reliance, is the ability to handle your own issues and problems and to have the skills to bravely move forward as an independent person.  This isn’t to say there aren’t times when we all need help.  But it’s really important to have the skills to solve your own problems whenever possible.  Like almost every skill, the more you use it, the move confidence you’ll have, the bigger the issues you’ll be able to resolve.  At the core of it is your will.  You have to willing to be able to try to solve your own issues and problems.   If you are unable, then you should reach out to others for help.  Too many people assume they are unable and immediately look to others.  Of course some of us err the other way as well, never for asking for help even when they should.

Being self-reliant means you think for yourself, you don’t assume that what others say or do is what you should say or do.  You make up your own mind, go your own way and be your own person.  You take care of your responsibilities and issues, and only when truly necessary do you ask for help.  You might ask, why?  Why wouldn’t I always rely on the people who care about me to help me with all of my issues, decisions and desires.  The answer is simple, they have their own lives as well, and quite frankly if you always need their help eventually you will ask too much.  Asking less, and when it’s only truly necessary, will garner goodwill and make people more willing to help when you truly need it.

How do you become more Self-Reliant?

There’s a very good article on self-reliance in Positive Psychology.  The article talks about the core ideas of self-reliance as well as the skills needed and how to develop them.  The true core of self-reliance comes from knowing yourself and having a true set of ethics and rules that you live by.  Possessing, understanding and living by a set of core values gives you a foundation from which to build self-reliance on.  As you do that, it will be easier to ask questions like, why does everyone believe that?  Why should I?  It will give you the foundation and the strength upon which to build an independent, and I believe, a happier life.  And I believe this because people who understand and live by a set of core values, who are independent and self-reliant, are less prone to fear and worry.  And less fear and worry lead to happier days my friends. ~ Rev Kane

 

 

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Happiness is Art: Chihuly

Happiness is Art: Chihuly

happiness, art, chihuly

 

 

 

I never met a color I didn’t like

~ Dale Chihuly

 

Tonight a look at a really amazing glass artist, you’ve almost certainly seen his work in Las Vegas or at the Monterey Bay Aquarium or in traveling exhibits.  I’ve been fortunate enough to see all three and his work is truly magnificent.  So take a look at some amazing images, enjoy, and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

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Happiness is Laughter: Bored People

Happiness is Laughter: Bored People

bored funny happinessThe two enemies of human happiness are pain and boredom.
~ Arthur Schopenhauer

Tonight my friends a tour around the web with some funny items related to boredom, have a look and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

 

A guy in the Las Vegas Airport does a little Celine Dion

The Bored Panda site, jokes, videos, clip, pics….

Things to do when you’re bored, a whole site full of really silly ways to waste a few minutes.

I’ve always loved this Silly Old People Video for the anti-boredom campaign.

Some of these are really good, Things People do at Work When They’re Bored

 

 

 

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The Philosophy of Happiness

The Philosophy of Happiness

Philosophy of Happiness

The Philosophy of Happiness

So a little search of the web tonight on Philosophy and Happiness and a few resources and interesting pieces of reading, have a happy day my friends.    ~ Rev Kane

Originally posted March 2018

I really like this first piece, it has some great advice!

Hedonist Philosopher Epicurus was right about happiness, more or less

Happiness, Philosophy and Science

A post from the Total Wellbeing blog 

A look at happiness from the perspective of classic philosophers 

From the philosophy and life blog 

 

Some Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

Happiness and Becoming Who You Are

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Our Best Happiness Posts for 2015

Revisiting Some of Our Best Posts & Pictures

There are Angels Among Us: A True Story of Giving & Kindness

Remember the Sweet Things

Happiness is Not Safety

 

 

 

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Slow down!

Slow down!

What a wonderful life I’ve had!  I only wish I’d realized it sooner.  ~ Colette

mindful

Originally posted October, 2010

Our week is going by and as we are waking up to another week, making breakfast, commuting to work, catching up on e-mail, touching base with those we work with, organizing our schedule, remembering what the heck we were doing on Friday suddenly it’s lunchtime.  This is the problem  with our lives in general, we are all so preoccupied with moving forward, accomplishing the next task, making the next meeting, picking up the kids or preparing the next meal that we forget to breathe.

Slow down
Breathe
Take that moment
Or this one
And breathe it in
Deeply
Slowly
Stop and see the world
Not the bigger world
Not out there
But the one in front of you
Around you
The one you’re enveloped in
For in the end
Your are it
And it is you
And to not know it
Is to not know yourself

So take that moment and just breathe, take the time to look around and appreciate what you have, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll have a happy day my friends. ~ Rev Kane

 There are two things to aim at in life:  first, to get what you want; and after that, to enjoy it.  Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.  ~ Logan Pearsall Smith, Afterthoughts, 1931

Other Posts You Might Enjoy!

How Travel Makes You Happier

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Our Best Happiness Posts of 2015

My favorite Appalachian Trail Photos of 2015

Why I’m Happy Right Now!

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Happiness means being you and not hiding

Happiness means being you and not hiding

happiness, be happy

Happy means being you

If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it. ~ Frank Zappa

Originally posted September, 2013

The seeds of thoughts for these pieces come at interesting times and often I don’t see a connection to where they came from until I sit down to write them, and sometimes not even then.  This morning however the connection is fairly obvious to me as it’s a realization I’ve been having over the last few months, more accurately something I’m realizing once again.  That realization is I think, a pretty fundamental one, the more genuine you are the happier you will be.  Ok, so Rev Kane goes for a Duh realization today.  However in my experience, the greatest discoveries you make about yourself are the ones that really should have been pretty obvious but we overlooked them.

The times I feel at my best, low-levels of stress, higher levels of energy and generally more happy are the times I’m being me and not playing one of the many roles in my life.  We all have these roles, we play mommy or daddy, we play employee, we play proper citizen and all of these roles generally have one thing in common.  We are performing in such a way as to conform to the expectations of others.  You “act” like a parent in given situations because people will talk if you don’t.  You wear the appropriate clothes, tone down your language and let people who are unkind to us off the hook, why?  Because supposedly that’s what a good employee does.  We dress a certain ways, act certain ways mostly because we don’t want to be singled out, or talked about, or judged by others.  In the end this makes us more sheep than people.

happiness, peaceful

Happiness is being you, being unique

I’m here to tell you today friends that all of that acting and costuming does more harm than good.  I’m not saying you can absolutely flout the rules and laws of society or your community with impunity, there will be consequences.  And there are good things to conform to; we don’t want people murdering everyone who cuts them off in traffic.  But who are you?  If you hate crowds and social gatherings you don’t have to attend every work social event.  You don’t always have to hold your tongue.  Express your personal style in the way you speak, act and dress, be open about what you think and believe.  To me, the only rules in all of this are don’t act in ways that hurt others or inhibit the rights of others to express their own personal style.   The closer you get to being YOU all of the time, the happier you will be.

Like everything though, there will be consequences, people will interact with you differently, you will be singled out a bit, you’ll be judged but fundamentally it’s ok for you to be you, the judgments of others are not as relevant as you being, loving and most of all accepting who you are.  So, go out today and be you and have a happy day my friends ~ Rev Kane

Other Happiness Posts You Might Enjoy!

Our Best Happiness Posts

Fear is Killing Your Happiness

Remember the Sweet Things

Happiness is Safety

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Finding Happiness in the Apocalypse

Finding Happiness in the Apocalypse

happines quote

I’ve been joking for awhile that we’re in the apocalypse.  I’ve talked in this blog about how this may in fact be a slow motion apocalypse.  What do I mean by that?  We always envision the apocalypse like it happens in a disaster movie.  Someone notices something wrong, then within fifteen minutes, super volcanoes are exploding, giant earthquakes are happening, the tsunami hits or the aliens have landed.  Then everything goes haywire and the world is completely upside down in every way and you’re being chased down the street by zombies.  That’s not what we’re living with right now, but certainly our whole world has been turned upside down.  So we might not being chased by Zombies, but we’re working from home, our travel is limited, almost 8 million people have become ill, over 200,000 are dead.  Schools are closed, for a time most of us were on full lockdown.  That we are all under more stress right now is a given, we’re all at least a little afraid of getting sick, or of family getting sick.  A lot of us know someone who has died from this disease.

So how do you find happiness in our slow motion apocalypse?

The answer is likely going to be a bit disappointing.  You see, you find it now like you always have.  It starts with protecting your health, minimizing negativity, getting out of your comfort zone, feeling safe and secure and finding joy.  So a little bit about each one in our apocalyptic times.

Protecting your health

This one should be the easiest thing right now as it’s at the forefront of all of our thoughts.  But staying healthy doesn’t just mean wearing a mask when you’re out and about among other people.  It means eating right, sleeping enough, finding ways to exercise and making sure you take your medications and following the advice from your doctor.  During the pandemic, it might also mean either getting some sun each day or taking some vitamin D supplements, there’s beginning to be some evidence showing it may provide some protection against COVID.

Minimizing negativity

This one is always pretty easy advice on paper and much harder in life, but it’s pretty simple.  If there are people, institutions, etc… in your life that reduce your happiness, if at all possible cut them out.  It may mean reducing contact with someone, less time on social media or changing stores.  On a larger level and over a larger time scale, it may mean doing something as large as moving or changing jobs.

Getting out of your comfort zone

This is, as regular readers know, my favorite piece of advice on happiness.  For me, this has always meant adventure and adventure for me means travel.  So right now, travel isn’t a great option.  So we have to find smaller and innovative ways to get out of our comfort zone.  But there are still lots of ways  to do it.  Camping, is an activity you can still do, so if you’re not a camper it’s a way to start stretching yourself.  If you’ve done some camping, maybe try doing some backcountry camping and hiking.  It could mean something as simple as cooking different types of food you’ve never made before, or the ever present pandemic cliche of learning how to make sourdough bread.  If you’re someone who regularly walks a trail or in a park, try doing the exact same walk at night, you’ll be amazed at how different it will be.

Learning something new is a great way to get out of your comfort zone.  Personally I’ve been working on improving my Spanish Language skills using Duolingo.  But equally, you could learn a musical instrument, computer programming, knitting or just about anything else.

Feeling safe and secure

Taoist philosophy discusses that in order to be happy that first you must be healthy and secondly you must feel safe and secure.  That can mean either physically or mentally.  So always make sure you’re doing what you have to do to maintain your safety.  When it comes to protecting your mental safety, it often goes back to avoiding negativity as we discussed before.

Finding joy

This one seems like it really should be easier and maybe that says something about the complexity of our modern lives that it isn’t.  But the easiest way for most of us to find joy is through play.  For me, the easiest way to get there is interact with little kids.  They are still in a place in life where they contact joy quickly and easily and that joy is contagious.  Playing games or make believe with little kids is such an amazing gateway to this, I highly recommend it.  If that’s not an option than go play like a kid, run around in a park, find ways to laugh, just be plain silly and hopefully that will bring you to joy.

It may be the apocalypse, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be happy.  So do what you can my friends and have a happy day. ~ Rev Kane

 

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